Solstice (Midsummer #3)

2. Ivy

2

Ivy

DECEMBER

W hen Lex said he wanted me to go away with him for a weekend, I thought he meant only a weekend because he had specified forty-eight hours. The farther we drove into the mountains of western Virginia, the more I suspected he’d planned something else.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked for the twentieth time, gazing out the window at the snow falling on the ground. The election had been six weeks ago, and I’d finally gotten a break in my schedule to fulfill my fiancé’s request. I’d canceled holiday plans with my family to come up here with him alone.

“You’ll see.” He winked from across the seat, returning his attention out the window. Theo drove the SUV through the thick piles of snow, eventually turning onto a driveway that wound up the side of a mountain.

An enormous log cabin appeared out of the tree line, the chimney already smoking with what must have been a rolling fire on the inside. It reminded me of the Christmases we used to spend together at Camp David when we were kids, bickering and fighting as our parents made their grand plans. The house stood at least three stories with big glass windows facing out over the valley below.

“Jesus, Lucifer.” I climbed out of the van and trudged through the white powder to climb the stairs to the deck.

“You like it?” He flashed an enormous grin and held his arms out to either side, gesturing to the woods surrounding us. We were completely alone out here, no neighbors for miles in either direction.

Only the woods.

Only the trees.

“You rented this entire place for the two of us?” I took a hesitant step toward him.

“Yeah.” He shrugged, heading to the giant glass door so he could unlock it and slide it open. “For now.”

For now?

I didn’t ask for more information because once we were inside, words escaped me. Sunlight poured into the enormous living room containing a huge sectional facing a stone fireplace that went up to the cathedral ceiling three stories overhead. Just off to the right, two steps led to the dining room and a kitchen big enough to cook for an army. Beyond that were guest rooms. All of this paled in comparison to the second story, which housed the primary bedroom with its own fireplace and an Alaskan King bed that could sleep ten people.

Enough for all my spouses.

But they weren’t here.

Like Lex said, it was only the two of us after Theo unpacked the SUV and returned to town. The refrigerator had been stocked. The pantry was full. We’d be fine on our own for the rest of our stay.

Despite this, I’d just been elected to Congress, and even on vacation, I couldn’t disconnect completely. I found the office on the third floor and set up my laptop, responding to emails and confirming appointments for my return. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have left DC, but my archnemesis insisted, and after what happened the night of the election, I couldn’t deny my own curiosity. When I’d touched him, an indescribable warmth had run through our connection, surging up my arm and into my bloodstream. The way fire had engulfed my arm, the way it tingled in the aftermath, the skip in my heart and the heaviness between my legs, it repeated in my imagination over and over again. It scared the shit out of me.

Of course, archnemesis didn’t really describe our relationship anymore. In these last few years, Lex had become my best friend. My teammate. My ride-or-die partner in crime.

Plot twist of the century.

If ten-year-old Ivy could see me now…

The first time I discovered my fairy gift, we’d been standing in our kitchen at our old condo. I’d entered his mind by mistake and seen our life together through his eyes. In doing so, I’d taken on the emotions he had for me. There had been love there, sure, but also hate and jealousy, and that ran deeper.

Then there’d been the day he’d photographed me at our old apartment, that snowy afternoon when it had just been him and me and the vibrant, brilliant pull between us. How tenderly he’d held me, like I might break. How he’d kissed me, sweet and sinful, like years of affection existed in that one moment. Then the sun had come up and the snow melted and we’d shoved that whole experience in a box we never opened.

The only time I let myself want Lex was when our spouses were here. Any other time, he was my public life partner and strategic sounding board. I couldn’t let it be any more than that.

The pull I felt to him, the one I sensed he was developing toward me, it was powerful. Magical. It reminded me none of it was real. Whatever was originally between us had been mutated by our time in Ireland, and if I let myself go down the path of Lex actually feeling something for me only to learn I was right, it would hurt me more than anything else we’d ever been through.

It was better to keep him at arm’s length, knowing once we found Siobhan and broke this curse, he’d go back to hating me and I’d go back to hating him and the world would be set right on its axis.

I’m just tired. And I think you are, too.

Was that what I was?

Tired? Tired of pretending? Tired of sneaking around with Carter and Miri? Faking a loving relationship with Lex? Yearning to be with a child that needed a mother, knowing damn well no one in my life could ever know about her?

Lex wanted to break me down. He wanted me to admit that what we had was real, outside of the fairy curse, outside of Carter and Miri. I didn’t know where this newfound desire for my returned affection came from, but as I watched him wink and smile and stand by my side through the entire election, I found myself wanting to give in to the fantasy.

What if I let him?

What if I sank into this complicated thing between us, knowing it would devastate me when it was over? I could let myself have Lex for these brief fantastical moments, completely aware that once we broke the curse, we would go back to the way things were at the beginning. Perhaps I could steel myself against it from the start.

Lex let me work for a few hours, but he soon grew impatient. I looked up when his big body blocked the door. He leaned against the jamb, one arm crossed over the other, that petulant, annoyed look on his face.

“Yes?” I raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to smile.

“I brought you up here to seduce you, not lose you to America.” He pushed upright and stalked closer, dropping his hands to his sides. He wore gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt, the uniform of a man snuggling into a log cabin for an extended stay in the snow. I traced over the dark lines on his arms, the tattoos snaking up under his sleeves, peeking out again near his collar. I’d always loved his ink, and he must have known that because he practically preened for me as he walked.

His hazel eyes shimmered in the firelight, the flames casting shadows over the angles of his cheekbones as they faded into his pouty lips and perfect blue-blood nose, making him seem like a villain from a fairy tale.

God, he could have been a model. Even when I hated him, I couldn’t deny he was painstakingly beautiful.

“You know,” he said, coming around the desk, making me turn my chair to face him. “The last person who eye-fucked me like that”—he leaned down, his hands going to the armrests, his face coming inches from mine—“ended their night with my cock in their ass. You sure you don’t like me, X?”

I inhaled his clean scent and clenched my thighs together, an automatic response to being near someone with whom I shared the curse. It had nothing to do with him. Not at all. And once we broke the fairy gift, this fantasy bubble would pop and we’d realize why it was such a bad idea for the two of us to do this in the first place.

I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. “I don’t.”

He smiled and nodded. “Uh-huh.”

Excitement mixed with trepidation in my gut, seizing my lungs and forcing my heart to pound against my rib cage. My shoulders trembled, and my cheeks burned, the X on my neck blaring to life. I dug my fingers into the leather seat to keep from reaching up to cover it. He’d see. He’d know.

He already did.

He narrowed his eyes as they ran the length of my face and settled on my lips. “I made you dinner.” Then he stood, stepped back, and nodded toward the door.

I took a slow, deep breath, letting it out through my nose as I tried to slow my racing pulse, and I pushed to my feet to follow him downstairs. I stopped at the entrance to the dining room, gasping as I swept the scene. Tall candles sat at either end of the table, plates with salmon and vegetables in the middle. I glanced in the kitchen to confirm the dirty dishes in the sink.

Yes, he had, in fact, made this himself.

“Where did you learn to cook?”

He winked and stood behind one of the chairs, pulling it out before saying, “Carter, of course. And Miri.”

I walked toward him and sat while he pushed the seat under for me, taking the spot immediately to my right at the head of the table.

“Lex, this is…” I didn’t have words. What could I say? The last person who’d cooked for me had been Carter, and he did it because he liked to. “Thank you.”

“You deserve it,” he said. “You’ve worked so hard.”

“We both have,” I said, giving credit where it was due. It wasn’t just me smiling and waving to the crowds. Lex had shown up for every event, fundraiser, and speech, all while working a caseload on his own. He’d been the dutiful man behind the great woman, and he’d played his part well.

A comfortable silence descended on us while we ate, and he poured wine that immediately made me feel warm and fuzzy as soon as I took a sip. Lex continued to surprise me. I hadn’t expected the cabin in the woods or the home-cooked dinner or whatever that was in the office upstairs. I rubbed my left thumb over the scars on my right hand, scars he also shared. Until the end. I’d made that vow to him as well. Not just Carter and Miri.

Halfway through the meal, Lex took a sip of wine and leaned back in his seat, looking over at me with a dark set to his gaze. “I want to amend our deal.”

I sat down my fork and wiped my mouth with my napkin before saying, “Typical.”

“Forty-eight hours with me…but I meant what I said about seducing you.”

Perhaps the alcohol had already gone to my head or maybe the moment in the office had unlocked a previously closed door in my heart because I only bit my bottom lip and blushed. “Oh?”

He leaned forward, his elbows going to the table, and I caught sight of the square with the X on his forearm. I’d seen it a thousand times before; I’d always assumed it was a symbol for the four of us. But he only called me X, and I was tattooed right there for the world to see. I shifted my gaze back to his.

“That time our apartment, I was gentle with you.” He frowned, shaking his head, like the memories were too much for him to process or bear alone. “The way Carter would have wanted me to be.” He narrowed his eyes and pulled his lips into a playful smile, and a shiver raced down my spine. “But I understand now. That’s not what you need.” He cleared his throat. “That’s not what you want… from me.”

Unaware of where this was going, I smiled and rolled my eyes. “And what do I want from you?”

He straightened, leaning back in his seat with an arrogant grin that reminded me of the teenage version of himself. “You want me to fight you for it.”

My thoughts stopped. My entire body throbbed. The visuals that went through my mind stunned me, and I didn’t know what to say or do. I froze, staring at him with my mouth hanging open. The sharp slice of Lex holding me down with his teeth at Midsummer burned through the memory in my skin, when he’d taken what we both needed without asking. Three days later, he’d pinned me against the wall in an alcove and dry humped me until I couldn’t stand, gripping his shirt to stay upright. Every time after that had either been with our spouses, under the lust, or because we were desperately heartbroken and needed a release we could only find in each other.

Lex and I had never gotten together because it was what we wanted. Our relationship had never been about romantic gestures and whispered sweet nothings. I thrived when Lex riled me up, and he lived to get under my skin.

“Ohh.” He chuckled low in his chest and took another sip, lips twisting as amusement emanated in his glowing stare, hitting me right between the legs. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“No.” I cleared my throat and swallowed, lying through my teeth even though there was no point. He knew me better than that, and even if he didn’t, he was a walking lie detector.

He raised an eyebrow, piercing eyes daring me to keep going. Lex would pull his fairy curse trigger if he needed to. He’d make me tell him just to prove his point.

“What if that’s what I wanted, too?” He raised his chin, peering down his nose at me. “What if I wanted to chase you through this house until I caught you and held you down and made you do whatever I wanted? What if I wanted to make you cry for mercy?”

Good. Fucking. God.

A hot, fiery ache clenched my cunt, almost painful in its intensity, and I adjusted my hips in my seat, aware Lex scrutinized every movement I made.

“What if I let you hit me, scratch me, claw me to try to get away? But, oh you can’t, because you don’t really want to. Do you? No, you want me to make you. You want me to overpower you, and you want to try to overpower me.”

My leggings and hoodie suddenly felt too tight and the heat from the fire seemed too hot and all I could do was sit there and stare at his mouth while he said these filthy, terrible things to me.

“But you can’t overpower me, not anymore, not since we were little.” He took another long drink of wine before shifting his body to face me, bringing his forehead to mine and his lips inches away. “It doesn’t matter that you can’t; that’s not what you want.” His breath coasted over my cheeks, smelling like Malbec and temptation and him. “You want me to win. You always did.” Soft, pouty lips brushed against mine, and I struggled to keep still as he continued. “Because that’s the game. I’m the only one you can lose to. I’m the only one worthy of losing to.”

“Lex—” I tried to tell him to stop, that a mere two sips of red had ruined my self-control, but the words wouldn’t come. They wouldn’t come. He was right about all of it, about what I wanted from him and why I wanted it. How had he known this when I didn’t even know it myself?

“Ivy.” The way he said my name made me shiver, and when he bit my bottom lip between his teeth hard enough to hurt, I moaned and sagged into the agony. Desire scalded my veins like undiluted ecstasy, cascading down my spine and into my legs and back up again.

Copper coated my tongue when he let it go, ruby red on his lips. He licked it away and brushed his thumb over my wound to do the same. The touch ached in the best way, making me feel alive. Shivers skated down my body when his finger came away crimson, and he stuffed it in his mouth to suck it clean. Unable to move or say anything, I sat transfixed by the connection that had suddenly snapped between us. He dragged his velvet tongue across my mouth, so soft and warm and decadent, the heat of it sparking deep in my belly.

I dug my nails into the armrests.

A mewling sound poured out of me.

I wanted him to lick me again.

He pulled back only far enough to meet my gaze. “If you get up from this table and run, I will chase you. When I catch you, I will fight you. When I win, I will fuck you.” I watched him glance between my eyes. “Our safeword is ‘mercy.’ Seeing as you can be inside my head anytime you want, it shouldn’t be too hard for you to call, even if your mouth is otherwise occupied.” He brushed hair out of my face and pushed it behind my ear like I was a porcelain doll that might break if he held me too hard.

Was it more screwed-up that he suggested it or that I wanted it with a fury that almost crippled me?

“How does that sound?” He raised an eyebrow as he waited for me to say something.

My pulse pounded in my head as I stared at him to make sure he was serious. Was this a trick? Would he tease me about this until I turned into a humiliated mess?

“Is this a secret?” I asked.

His lips lifted into a devil’s grin. “Do you want it to be?”

“I don’t want you fighting me in front of the others. They don’t like it. They don’t”—I cleared my throat—“they don’t understand what it is between us.”

“I know.” He nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

Shocked I was agreeing to this, I reached for my glass of wine and chugged the last giant swallow before pushing to my feet.

“Nothing on the face and if you rip my clothes, you replace them.”

“Agreed.”

I turned on the balls of my feet and took off.

* * *

Heart pounding, blood pumping, I raced up the stairs.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The echoes of Lex’s footfalls behind me thundered off the walls, fueling an intense urge inside of me. I knew he’d catch me; he gained on me with each of his strides, but the thrill was in the anticipation.

Lex had absconded with me from the Capitol, taken me to some secluded cabin in the woods with no one around for miles in any direction, only so he could primal kink his way through our bet. God, he read me so well. I didn’t want to give in to him. I didn’t want to admit the way he made me feel. It said things about our marriage to each other and to Carter and Miri I couldn’t admit to myself, not yet. But once he started talking, I couldn’t stop it. Once he put the plan out there, I wanted it with every bone in my body.

Exhilaration flared in my chest as I darted into the primary bedroom, Lex nipping on my heels. His footsteps echoed behind me as I sprinted across the room, and he slammed the door shut, the snick of the lock reverberating off the high ceilings.

I turned to face him, backing away, skirting around the bed.

“Lex,” I said, playing into the game. He wanted to fight me for it? Fine. I’d give him something to fight. “Stop. This isn’t right.”

Yes, it is, a twisted part of me whispered, the part that knew it would always be like this between us. We could never do this with Miri or Carter because he wasn’t Carter, and I wasn’t Miri, and what Lex and I had was too fucked-up for anyone else. This part of me could only be sated by this part of him.

What does that say about us?

“Lex, I mean it.” I moved toward the second-story balcony overlooking the woods. It had a foot of snow on it, so he knew I couldn’t really go anywhere. “Stop.”

He smiled, clearly pleased by my mock refusal. “No.”

White-hot lust puddled between my legs, and I cut right, launching myself across the bed. I scrambled on my hands and knees, but he circled my waist with his arm, slamming me back against his body. I squealed and wriggled free, rolling off the other side of the mattress while he struggled to get upright. I ran again, toes digging into the carpet to propel me to the door.

My sweaty fingers slipped on the lock, costing valuable time as I struggled to turn it. Just when I’d gotten the damn thing open, his hard body slammed into me from the side, taking me down.

Lex wrapped his arm around my hips, breaking my fall with his knees so he lay me on the floor only when I could safely land on my stomach. I tried to push up again, but he outweighed me enough to keep me firmly rooted. He circled his hands around my wrists and pinned them above my head, his hot breath pouring over my head as he panted. Then he nipped at the side of my ear and I went still, chills plunging down that entire side of my body.

“That was pathetic,” he snarled.

Ugh, leave it to Lucifer to turn me on and piss me off at the same time.

I growled and squirmed, managing to yank my arms out of his hold and use my weight to roll him to the side. But he was bigger than me and quickly regained his dominance, trapping my arms next to my ribs.

“For someone who spent their childhood wrestling with me, you’ve gotten rusty, X.”

That made me even more feral, and I bucked again, almost hitting him in the face with my head. He gave just enough for me to rip my arms away and roll under him, bringing us face-to-face.

Lex was fast and got ahold of my wrists, gathering them above my head with one hand. I kicked and flailed, nearly kneeing him right in the groin. That earned me a pissed-off glare.

“Careful,” he said inside my head.

I raised an eyebrow in challenge. He wanted a fight, didn’t he? And now he couldn’t keep up?

“Aw, poor Lucifer.”

He curled his free hand around my inner thigh to hold my knee out to the side so he could settle his pelvis against mine. My entire body tensed as his hard cock rubbed against my clit, and the weight of him on top of me combined with his thick heady scent nearly overwhelmed my senses. A surge of euphoria blasted through my chest that had nothing to do with the curse or the role-play or a pretend marriage in the woods. It wasn’t driven by lust or sex with our spouses or by the way my heart yearned for another.

It was real.

This was about me and him, and God, I wanted exactly what he’d offered me downstairs. I wanted him to hold me down and take what he’d won, wring me out until I couldn’t stand.

“Get off me.” I shoved at his hold, jerking under him, bringing my cunt up against his cock again. The friction made me moan, and I turned my head to the side, biting at my bicep to keep from making more noise.

“Say mercy.” He brought his lips to my ear, his fiery breath ghosting over my neck and sending shocks down that side of my body.

I pressed my lips together because no fucking way would I stop this. That wasn’t what he meant, anyway. He was checking in with me, giving me an out if I wanted to take it. I could use the safeword, and Lex would leave me alone. But I’d never backed down from him, not once in my life, and I didn’t intend to start now.

“No?” He let out a twisted laugh, and the cruelty in it aroused me further, forcing me to spread my legs wider. “Then tell me I won.”

I shook my head and bared my teeth in a growl, refusing to admit it.

“Go on.” His body encased mine, so big compared to my five-foot-seven frame. It made me feel small and protected, like the only one more powerful than me was him, and he’d earned the honor. “Tell me.” He nudged his nose at my chin in a delicate, intimate gesture that reminded me this was a game.

I swallowed, the bitterness tasting like relief and anticipation. Finally, I murmured a quiet, “You won.”

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He kissed my jaw and chuckled before saying, “Now, shut the fuck up and let me enjoy my spoils.”

Spoils.

Like he beat me for me . And hell, I didn’t know that would be something that made me tremble so hard, but it did. Even more when he leaned down and whispered, “Don’t fucking move. If you do, I’ll tie you down.” My heart kicked at the image that created, but he must have read that on my face because he groaned and shook his head. “If you make me tie you down, I won’t let you up for the rest of the trip.”

Well, we don’t want that, do we?

When he took his hand away from my wrists, I flexed my fingers for circulation, but I didn’t try to fight him again. I’d already conceded defeat, and now I was his to do with what he would.

The thought should have repulsed me. This was Lex, but I needed to reconcile the fact we had a complicated, twisted, thorny thing between us, and we’d been born with our roots so intertwined that we were permanently and irrevocably inseparable.