Someone Like You (The Ever After Agency #4)

Chapter 18

18

GABY

I look towards where Raff was standing earlier to share the moment, but he’s not there and I start scanning the room. Where did he go?

‘Isn’t that the most romantic thing ever?’ asks Freya, who is unexpectedly at my side. ‘I adore Freddie, really I do, but I’d die of shock if he ever made such a grand romantic gesture.’

This is the first time Freya has disparaged Freddie in this way, instantly making me want to defend him. I must like him more than I realised – probably because he’s so sweet to her.

‘Have you told him that you’d like him to be more romantic?’ I ask. ‘You’re, like, the biggest romantic I know – surely you’ve at least hinted?’

She shrugs, which is Freya for ‘no’.

‘You know Freddie would do anything for you. Why don’t you just tell him what you want?’

‘Because I shouldn’t have to. We’ve been together over a year – doesn’t he know me well enough to figure it out on his own?’

So, she’s expecting Freddie to guess what’s in her head, which is unfair and could eventually undermine their relationship. I suppose even a matchmaker doesn’t always get it right.

‘Frey, tell him. You’d be honest with him if there was something more he could be doing in bed, right? How is this any different?’

Freya’s eyes widen in horror. Oops, I’ve crossed a line. In many ways, we’re as close as sisters, but we’ve never been the type of girlfriends who discuss our sex lives. If I need to talk about sex, I do that with Issy or my mom.

‘Sorry,’ I say, and she shakes her head as if she’s trying to dislodge something.

‘Have you seen Raff?’ she asks, abruptly changing the subject.

‘Not since Devin’s speech.’ I scan the room again and festivities have resumed, but no Raff. Something feels off.

‘Come on,’ I say. ‘Let’s go find him.’

Freya and I do a whole circuit of the ground floor before we find Raff and CiCi in the conservatory, one of the few places in CiCi and Devin’s home that doesn’t scream ‘tasteful opulence’. It looks like it was furnished with cast-offs from the set of The Golden Girls : a wicker two-seater and matching cane chairs, the cushions covered in a palm-leaf motif, a circular rattan rug on the floor, and more plants in terracotta pots than in most greenhouses.

I’m about to knock on the open door when Raff says, ‘It’s fine, Aunt CiCi, I promise .’

Only it doesn’t seem fine – whatever ‘it’ is. Despite the brave face, Raff is obviously distraught. And it’s rare to see him like this – shy, embarrassed at being the centre of attention, sure, but not riled up. He’s usually unflappable.

That’s why he’s the rock of our trio.

‘Hey,’ I say, stepping into the room, Freya close behind me. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Ah, love,’ CiCi says to me. ‘I had no idea Devin had gone and booked that trip. And he had no idea that you two were going abroad. He thought Raff would be sorted – have a friends’ Christmas.’

‘Oh no, Raff!’ exclaims Freya. ‘You’ll be all alone.’

‘It appears so, yes,’ he replies tautly.

‘I’d invite you to come to Sweden with me,’ says Freya, ‘but we’re staying with my dad’s cousin and I’ll be sleeping in a tiny bedroom in a child’s bed. I wasn’t even able to ask Freddie.’

‘No, no, I wouldn’t want to intrude anyway.’

‘How about you come with us?’ CiCi offers. ‘We can see if there’s another room available in the lodge.’

I can tell that Raff considers it, but only for a second. As upset as he is, there’s no way he’d gatecrash his aunt and uncle’s romantic getaway.

He fakes a smile. ‘I’m sure Uncle Devin would have something to say about that, don’t you?’

Speaking of…

‘Here you all are,’ says Devin.

‘We’re hardly hiding, darling,’ says CiCi, still frowning.

‘Sorry, lad,’ he says to Raff with a pained expression. ‘I suppose I can see about changing the trip to the New Year…’

CiCi’s head swivels in his direction. I doubt she was expecting that, and she doesn’t seem too pleased about it.

‘Why don’t you come home with me for Christmas?’ I blurt, only realising the second the words are out of my mouth what I’ve done.

‘What? Really?’ In an instant, Raff’s countenance changes from distraught to hopeful. ‘Are you sure that wouldn’t be an imposition?’

An imposition? No. Stupid on my part? Abso-fucking-lutely.

‘Hardly,’ I say with a forced laugh. ‘You know Gina adores you. So does Dad. And you can sleep in Issy’s old room. You’d have to be my plus-one to my cousin’s wedding on Christmas Eve but other than that, Christmases at my parents’ place are pretty chill.’

Good god! Has Gaby-the-best-friend had a brain fart, forgetting there’s a new Gaby in town, one that’s fallen for Raff? Why, yes. Yes, she has!

Raff breaks into a wide grin. ‘If you’re sure?’ he asks hopefully, melting my heart. There’s no way I can rescind the offer now.

‘I’m sure. It’ll be great – better than great. It’ll be a blast. And if I bring you as my date to the wedding, I won’t have to fend off sleazy groomsmen or field questions about why I’m still single. Nothing worse than relatives asking me when I’m going to find myself a decent man, especially my Aunt Christine. She never lets up.’

Now I’m rabbiting on like a moron. Because I am a moron. I’ve not only invited Raff home for the holidays, I’ve also volunteered him to be my fake wedding date! And I’ve had one mug of spiced rum since I arrived, so I can’t blame alcohol for my stupidity.

Fortunately, the only person who appears to have noticed my SNAFU is Freya, who stares at me, gobsmacked. The others, including Raff, are talking over each other excitedly.

‘Thank you, love,’ says CiCi, giving me a quick hug. ‘It means the world to us to know that Raff will be with family over Christmas.’

‘Sure thing. All good. Totally fine.’ My mind adds, Nothing to see here – just a total trainwreck waiting to happen.

‘Right, now that’s sorted, if you wouldn’t mind re-joining the party…’ says Devin, his eyebrows raised.

‘That’s Devin’s polite way of saying “Everybody out”,’ says CiCi with a laugh. She shoos us through the conservatory door and closes it behind her, and she and Devin stride off to the main part of the house to return to their party.

‘Seriously, Gabs, you’re a total lifesaver,’ says Raff, stopping me with a hand on my arm. ‘I know it’s silly, my reaction…’ He gives me a lipless smile.

‘Not at all. I’d be pissed if my parents pulled something like that. But don’t thank me yet. Apparently, my aunt is being a total Momzilla. You may have to help me run interference.’

He laughs. ‘Sounds almost fun.’

‘It won’t be, I promise, but the rest should be.’

I’m doing my best to avoid looking at Freya, who’s standing close by wearing her I-need-to-talk-to-you-urgently expression.

‘Well, this is cause for a celebration,’ says Raff. ‘I’ll grab us some champers.’

Raff leaves to get us drinks and now there’s no avoiding Freya.

‘Is this really a good idea?’ she asks.

I heave out a sigh. ‘Honestly? Probably not, but by the time I realised what I’d said, it was too late. You saw his face, Frey. He was crushed. I haven’t seen him like that since Winnie broke up with him. And what was I supposed to do? Leave him here to have Christmas by himself?’

‘He could have gone to Lorrie’s.’

‘Well, no, because Lorrie and her kids are off to Majorca for Christmas.’

‘Oh.’

‘It’ll be fine, don’t worry,’ I say, but who am trying to convince – her or me? Because there is every chance it will be weird and uncomfortable and, quite possibly, heartbreaking.

‘It’s going to be a busy week anyway,’ I continue, affecting a casual lack of concern. ‘Lots of family around in the lead up to the wedding, and the wedding itself will eat up a day. Then Christmas with Mom and Dad, and home on the twenty-seventh. It’ll go like that,’ I add, snapping my fingers.

‘But your feelings , Gaby,’ she says, her eyes teeming with worry.

‘My feelings will have to wait. I mean, they have to anyway, right? Until there’s some clarity around Julia? And if Raff chooses her, they’ll have to wait indefinitely, so I may as well get used to it.’

I’ve gotta be honest – not loving how cynical I sound right now.

Freya mustn’t either and her shoulders slump, her expression becoming even more distressed.

‘I’m not convincing you, am I?’

‘No.’

‘That’s okay. I’m not convincing me either. Fuck, Frey, what have I done?’

She rubs my arm soothingly, which is about as effective trying to snuff out a raging house fire by spitting on it.

‘Hey, Mom, I have some news.’ I’m ensconced in my Lounge Pug, needing every ounce of its comforting properties now that I’ve committed to spending twenty-four-seven with Raff over the holidays.

‘Good or bad?’ she asks. ‘I can’t tell from your tone.’

‘Uh, good news. At least I hope it is. I may have invited Raff to come home with me for Christmas.’

She chuckles. ‘ May have? Or have ?’

‘Have.’ I am 99 per cent sure it will be fine, but in the time it takes for Mom to respond, my stomach clenches with doubt.

‘Oh, hun, what a treat for us! I’ll start thinking about something to put under the tree for him. Oh, and I can have Rosemary make him a stocking.’ Rosemary is one of the night nurses on the ward who does crafts at the nurses’ station when it’s quiet.

I chuckle – trust my mom to start planning Christmas presents for Raff the second I give her the news.

‘Are you sure, Mom? It’s not too much of an imposition?’

‘Hardly! We love Raff. He’s welcome any time. ’

‘I know I should have checked with you first but Devin surprised CiCi with a trip to Lapland, meaning Raff would be on his own, and you should have seen him, Mom – like a lost little boy. I couldn’t bear the thought of him all alone on Christmas.’

‘You did the right thing, Gaby. You always do.’

If I did the right thing then why am I seriously questioning my choices? I think.

What I say is, ‘Thanks, Mom.’

‘Will he be on the same flight as you?’

‘Unsure. He’s looking at flights tonight, but I’ll let you know.’

‘Okay, hun. And don’t worry, I’ll smooth things over with Chrissy – about the seating arrangements for the wedding.’

‘Oh, right. Yeah, she’s not going to like me very much.’

‘Chrissy doesn’t like anyone right now – you’re in good company.’

I laugh.

‘Listen, I’ve gotta go but talk soon, huh?’

‘Bye, Mom. Love you.’

She says she loves me too, and we end the call.

‘It’s only a week, Gaby. You’re entirely capable of spending seven days under the same roof with Raff, without doing or saying anything to let on how you feel.’

Somehow, saying this out loud is not convincing – shocker. No wonder Freya was compelled to talk me out of it. She even sent a text after the party:

Have asked my parents if we can take Raff to Sweden with us. They said yes, but he’ll need to stay in a hotel. Better than nothing though, right? *shrug emoji* Should I ask him?

I replied:

Let me talk to Gina first.

She replied back with an ‘okay’ emoji, but I read between the lines (so to speak). She’s worried – about me, about Raff, about this whole thing blowing up in our faces.

And she’s gone to a lot of trouble. Her family are nice people, but inviting a last-minute guest to a Nilsen family Christmas would have been a big ask – even bigger than bringing Raff to my cousin’s wedding. Freya’s doing her best to help me out of this mess.

‘Argh, what are you doing , Gaby?’ I ask myself. ‘Besides now talking to yourself, you dork.’

Wait, am I looking at this the wrong way?

Maybe there’s a silver lining here. With Raff out of London so soon after meeting Julia, there’s less time for their budding relationship to develop into something, right?

And by spending time together – out of work, away from Freya and CiCi and Devin – maybe Raff will see me in a new light, like I’ve recently seen him.

Maybe Raff coming to Seattle is the best thing that can happen under the circumstances.

‘Hmm, maybe…’ I mutter.

There’s only one person I can ask. Freya’s too close to it, and CiCi may suspect something’s up but she’s not the right person to discuss this with.

It’s a risk, because she won’t just tell me what I want to hear – she’ll give it to me straight – but if there’s any hope at all…

I navigate to Poppy’s contact details in my phone and hit the call button.