Someone Like You (The Ever After Agency #4)

Chapter 20

20

GABY

It’s amazing how fast a week can go by.

The days – and nights – between CiCi and Devin’s party and the flight to Seattle are jam-packed with end-of-year meetings, client parties, last-minute Christmas shopping, packing, and trying to ignore the mounting panic about taking Raff home with me for the holidays.

I’ve also done my best to be a supportive friend every time Raff has gushed to me about Julia, nodding and smiling and saying things like, ‘You don’t say.’ What’s been going on inside my head is a whole other story.

‘Julia said the funniest thing at dinner the other night.’

Move over, Taylor Tomlinson. Julia should take that act on the road.

‘Did you know that Julia has a painting hanging in the Tate Modern?’

I did know that because my new favourite hobby is googling your new girlfriend, then stress eating a packet of cookies.

‘Julia and her family are off to St Moritz for Christmas. Can you imagine ? Maybe next Christmas, I’ll be joining them.’

Please, kill me now .

I feel like I’ve perfected the that’s-amazing-and-this-isn’t-making-me-die-inside-at-all smile. I can’t even bear the idea of them sleeping together. Which means it’s torture that I’ve been thinking about it non-stop, right down to the nausea-inducing details. The only saving grace is reminding myself that Raff may dive headfirst into relationships, but he typically holds off on sleeping with someone until he’s been dating them for at least a few weeks.

Although Raff is also capable of packing a month’s worth of dates into just one week.

And now we’re an hour into our flight to Seattle and he’s already mentioned her three times. Only nine hours to go!

‘Hey,’ I say, when there’s a brief pause after his description of Julia’s next collection – something about shades of blue. ‘How about I brief you on the family? So you’re extra prepared.’

‘Oh, er… sure.’

He probably wasn’t finished telling me how incredibly talented Julia is, but I’ve heard about as much as I can tolerate for today. And I’ve never really had low self-esteem – I was raised with a healthy ego, a balance of valuing myself and being thankful for good fortune and the opportunities that have come my way. But a week of ‘Julia this’ and ‘Julia that’ has started to make a dent. Even Zendaya would be having doubts about how she measured up against the gorgeous, talented, hilarious Julia if she were in my shoes.

I also spent way too much time imagining what their couple name would be. I went through Rulia, Jaffia, and Rajul before landing on Raffia, which made me laugh out loud at my desk like an idiot. When Lorrie peeked around the wall of her cubical with a quizzical look, I tried (and failed) to pass it off as a cough. She gave me a you’re-being-weird frown, then went back to work .

‘Okay,’ I say, angling my body towards him, ‘all my dad’s family are in Texas, so you’ll only be meeting Mom’s side – the Johnsons.’

‘Well, your mother is an absolute darling, so if they’re anything like her…’

‘Umm…’ I give him a cheesy, apologetic smile. ‘Some of them are. Others, not so much.’

‘And is there a reason you waited until we were in the air to tell me this?’

‘Absolutely – I’m not stupid. If I’d revealed some of what I’m about to say ahead of time, you’d be in Sweden right now, sleeping head-to-toe with Freya in a doll’s bed.’

This makes him laugh again, and we’re instantly back to being Gabs and Raff, cracking each other up like this is any other day and not the end of ‘Raffia’s Intense Week of Dating’.

‘You know those families where everyone talks at once and no one’s really listening and it’s constant mayhem, but you can also feel the love in the air?’

He narrows his eyes. ‘I’m not sure.’

‘You know. It’s sounds like everyone’s fighting but, really, they love each other?’ I ask.

‘Not firsthand. I grew up in England, remember. As rowdy as it ever got at CiCi and Devin’s was a heated discussion about which to put on a scone first – jam or cream.’

‘Wow, sounds heavy ,’ I say with a smirk.

‘Actually, clotted .’

‘Sorry?’

‘The cream – it’s clotted cream, not heavy cream.’

‘Now you’re being obtuse on purpose,’ I retort.

He grins at me, then tips an imaginary hat.

‘So, who won the great scone showdown?’

‘Who do you think? Aunt CiCi, of course. She always wins – and when it comes to scones, which she is famous for, she’s a Devon girl all the way.’

‘Which is?’

‘Cream first.’

‘Ahh, fascinating.’

He grins. ‘No, it isn’t but I’m surprised you’ve known her all these years and it’s never come up.’

‘Now that you mention it,’ I say, recalling the many times I’ve had scones at CiCi’s, ‘I just follow what she does – and yeah, she’s a cream-then-jam woman all the way.’

‘Is this the sort of sparkling conversation I can expect from your family?’ he teases.

‘Hey – you brought up scones.’

‘Fair. So, what topics should I brush up on then?’

‘Probably easier if I list the topics to avoid,’ I reply.

‘All right.’

‘Politics,’ I say, counting off on my fingers.

‘Well, obvs. Wait, just in case, which way do they lean?’

‘Left. Only… Aunt Christine still hasn’t come to terms with Washington legalising marijuana, which was in 2012 . She calls it a “gateway” drug. Do not let her get started on that.’

‘Noted. Anything else?’

‘We are a Mariner’s family – that’s Seattle’s baseball team. My cousin’s fiancé is from Kansas, but he follows the Oakland As – that’s a Californian team – and it’s a huge deal to my Uncle Marvin.’

‘ Marvin? ’

‘Yeah, like Marvin the Martian,’ I reply. It may be an unusual name to some, but I’ve had an Uncle Marvin my whole life, so it’s not weird to me. ‘Anyway, if either Uncle Marv or Brian even mention baseball, get out of there immediately. I mean it. Clear. The. Room.’

‘But you said the bickering was all in good fun. ’

‘Baseball talk isn’t bickering. It’s war.’

‘I feel like I should be writing this down,’ he says with a pretend frown.

‘Nah,’ I reply. ‘Now Monica, the bride, is a total sweetheart. She’s like a little sister to me and Issy – she’s eight years younger than me – and Issy and I babysat her all the time. Super cute kid, always singing and dancing. Issy and I would play our favourite songs, like “Hips Don’t Lie” and “Crazy in Love”, and the three of us would make up these little dance routines.’

‘What does Monica do now?’ he asks.

‘She teaches dance.’

‘Wow. Look at you, helping mould young minds.’

‘I take zero credit. That was all Monica. Even at a young age, she was a good dancer – way better than me or Issy.’

‘You’re not really selling yourself as a wedding date,’ he teases.

The reminder cuts through the fun of our banter.

Not only are we going to yet another formal event together – and I still don’t know if it’s a good idea or just plain stupid – but my aunt freaked out way more than anticipated when Mom told her I was bringing a plus one after RSVPing that I was attending alone. She had to add a tenth place setting to one table – the horror! Mom says I’m firmly in the bad books and that some next-level grovelling will be in order when I see Aunt Christine.

I laugh off Raff’s comment, ignoring the turmoil it has stirred up. ‘I can do the basics. I’m also half Rivera, don’t forget. I’m a pretty decent line dancer and my dad taught me to salsa when I was little.’

‘Maybe I’ll be the rubbish date then.’

‘You’ll be…’ I can’t say the one thing I want to say, which is ‘perfect’. I settle on, ‘…fine.’

He laughs. ‘High praise indeed.’

Just then the drinks cart rolls by, followed by the food cart, and suddenly I’m ravenous – for airplane food .

‘It’s the best part, isn’t it?’ Raff asks.

‘What is?’

I glance over and we lock eyes. He’s smiling and his eyes seem greener than usual – it’s probably his teal long-sleeved T-shirt doing that. I’ve always liked him in teal.

‘Mealtimes,’ he answers, and I have to remind myself what we were talking about.

‘Oh right – well, they help pass the time.’

‘This might sound strange, but I actually like airplane food.’

I scrunch my face at him. ‘That is strange.’

‘I don’t know what it is – possibly all the little compartments. Like a bento box in the sky.’

‘Spoken like a marketing whizz,’ I quip. ‘You should call BA when we land and sell them that. Or maybe ask the flight attendant to pass it along.’

He sniggers. ‘So, are you expecting to hear from Claire before Christmas?’ The change of subject to Global Reach catches me off-guard.

‘I’m not sure,’ I reply. ‘I’m trying to put it out of my mind. You know – just in case.’

‘Good tactic, focusing on other things until you hear from her.’

Yes, ‘other things’, such as all-consuming thoughts of you and Julia.

‘That’s prudent of you,’ he continues. ‘It’s easy to become obsessed when you’re waiting on news.’

News like whether you and Julia will ‘stick’ or if I’ll get actually get a look-in?

I glance at him and he’s looking at me reassuringly, so oblivious to the irony of what he’s just said, it’s laughable. Only I don’t laugh, because if I start it will be impossible to stop, and I’d rather not be that bizarre woman on the flight who laughed hysterically for the entire Atlantic crossing.

‘Mm-hmm,’ I say instead .

One thing is clear: I can’t keep obsessing about Raff and Julia – rather, Raffia . I’ll go nuts.

‘Can I tell you something?’ I ask.

‘Anything.’

Hah! If you only knew how untrue that is.

‘I want it, the role – I really want it,’ I say.

This is the first time I’ve expressed it to another person in such certain terms, and it feels fucking great.

Raff’s face splits into a grin. ‘I thought as much,’ he says, nudging me softly with his elbow. ‘You’ve played things very close to your chest, you have.’

I have but not for the reasons he thinks. And now I’ve told him how much the role means to me, the floodgates open.

‘It’s been a combo of you leaving and helping with your handover and picturing myself in the role that’s helped me realise how much I want it. And that I’ve been coasting for far too long.’

‘You haven’t been coasting,’ he insists.

‘That’s generous, but I don’t mean I’ve slacked off or anything – just that it’s been way too long since I stretched my abilities. Everything for the past year or so has felt safe . Now I’m craving excitement. You know, those projects that make you wonder if you can pull it off – you get the brief, and it comes with a side of adrenalin.’

‘Well,’ he says with a laugh, ‘you’ll certainly get that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been bricking it.’

I regard him with renewed curiosity. ‘I would never have guessed that.’

‘I suppose we don’t know everything about each other,’ he says, and I give him a lipless smile.

He’s right though. Even best friends keep secrets from each other. Like the one I’m keeping from him.

‘Anyway, it sounds like you’re ready for the challenge,’ he says.

‘Yeah, it’ll be good to switch things up. ’

That’s true of my personal life too but a relationship with Raff is unlikely. At least being offered the role at Global Reach is within the realm of possibility.

‘Mmm,’ he mutters thoughtfully. ‘That’s certainly what I’ll be doing.’

‘You have no idea how much I admire you, Raff. Here you are, having had this meteoric rise in marketing and now?—’

He scoffs, interrupting me. ‘I’d hardly call it meteoric, Gabs.’

‘Because you’re you. And that’s how it’s always been for you. Whether you know it or not, you’re the golden child. You’ve always excelled at whatever you’ve put your mind to.’

‘So have you.’

I shake my head. ‘No. I got good grades – in high school and in college – and I’ve had a solid career, but none of this comes naturally to me. I have to work twice as hard to achieve half as much.’

‘Wait, is this a gender equity thi?—’

‘ No . This is a Gaby equity thing. I’m not naturally brilliant like you are. I’m not saying you don’t work hard – of course you do – but when you apply yourself, you get further along than I do when I apply myself.’

He frowns at me. ‘I don’t follow.’

‘You’re smarter than I am, Raff.’

‘I am not!’ he insists, as if it’s an empirical truth.

‘But—’

‘You’re wrong .’

I sit back against my seat. I don’t want us to fight, especially not mid-air, and it seems there’s no convincing him. The food cart is only three rows ahead of us now. Good timing – we can eat our bento boxes in the sky and cool down.

‘Gabs,’ he says, leaning close. ‘I only meant that there are different ways a person can be clever. There are so many things that you’re better at than I am. ’

‘Like what?’ I ask, tossing out the challenge.

‘Handling social situations, for one. You always know how to set people at ease – you can talk to practically anyone .’

‘So can you.’

‘Ah… no. I pretend to be articulate and charming, when inside I’m scouting for the nearest exit. And that’s just one of the many, many ways you’re cleverer than me.’

‘Nice backpedalling,’ I say.

‘It’s not back— I’m serious, Gabs. You’re so brave. You moved across the world all by yourself and made a life in London. I could never have done that, especially in my twenties. And you’re lovely and kind and the best friend. I can’t think of anyone who would do a better job taking over my role. Claire will be lucky to have you. Global Reach is lucky to have you.’

Tears unexpectedly prick my eyes and I’m momentarily left speechless.

‘Thanks,’ I whisper, not trusting my voice.

He grasps my knee and squeezes, and our eyes meet for a long moment. I can’t help but wish he already knew how I felt and that he felt the same. Because moments like this, where the lines of friendship blur, are going to become more difficult to endure. Especially with the week coming up.

Raff breaks eye contact, looking past me excitedly. ‘Ooh, the pasta looks good, doesn’t it?’ he asks, craning his neck.

The flight attendants show up with their carts, doling out food and drinks, and our moment vanishes.

‘Would you like to watch a film after we eat?’ Raff asks. He points to the screen on the seat back in front of him. ‘Look. They’ve got When Harry Met Sally – your favourite.’

It’s not my favourite but it’s up there. I saw it with Gina for the first time when I was about fifteen because it’s her favourite movie. Other than the mortifying experience of sitting next to my mom while Meg Ryan faked an orgasm, I liked it. And since then, I’ve seen it at least ten more times.

Only watching it with Raff? The film about two people who’ve been friends for years, then fall in love? Uh, no.

‘If you wanna watch something we’ve already seen, how about Antman ? We both liked that one.’

‘Yeah, all right,’ he replies, giving me a funny look.