Somewhere New (Isle of Doughnut #1)

Chapter Nineteen

CHAPTER NINETEEN

ASTER

T he natural progression—at least in my mind—after revealing romantic feelings for someone else was that there would be kissing. Humping, eventually. Hopefully. Please.

In the week since mine and Callum’s little talk, there had definitely been more touching. Our hugs had gotten epically long, often only broken by the bleat of a tiny goat or the rumble of my tummy—both demanding food. I’d become intimately acquainted with the skin at the side of Callum’s neck and my collarbones sported a permanent beard burn. Our hands entwined while we watched TV and my toes slotted under his warm thigh each evening.

That was it. All freaking delicious, a soothing balm after a week of keeping my distance, but I wanted more. I wanted to know what Callum’s lips felt like against mine, wanted to feel his tongue on my neck, my chest, the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. I wanted to uncover him, to trace the hair I’d caught glimpses of. I wanted to press my nose into his skin, to find the places where his unique smell was strongest, then inhale and inhale and inhale.

Callum didn’t seem to want any of that. After every long hug, he looked totally blissed out. Like it was enough for him.

I tried to be contented. Told myself we were going slow. Resigned myself to continuing my long friendship with my hand while Callum warmed up to main events.

But energy had been building in me. The want was morphing, becoming a need.

Bonnie’s phone call was the match that lit an already sparking fuse. Because she assumed Callum and I were fucking, when we hadn’t even kissed.

I wanted to know why. If it was because he thought I was pathetic, then so be it. At least that would dampen this rampant need to touch him.

After I’d shouted the question, I remembered there could be another reason he was holding back.

‘Oh shit.’ The anger that buoyed me while I waited for Callum to finish chatting to his sister abruptly departed. ‘Shit shit. That was the wrong way to ask. I’m sorry. Imagine I didn’t say that, and not like a twat. Instead, imagine I was calm and asked like a considerate partner whether kissing is something you’re interested in.’

Callum hadn’t mentioned his dating history. We hadn’t discussed anything beyond him liking me. While I was up for a whole lot of physical affection, hugging and gentle touching might be Callum’s limit. And that was okay. I wouldn’t push him beyond what he wanted to do.

‘Kissing is something I’m interested in,’ Callum said warily.

He was right to be wary. At his words— confirmation I wasn’t an insensitive fool—all my indignation rose right back up. ‘Why the fuck haven’t you kissed me then?’

He adjusted his weight in muddy boots he had no right looking so sexy in. ‘Why haven’t you kissed me?’

I gripped the sides of the door frame so I wouldn’t leap off the mat and throttle Callum for daring to answer my question with another. ‘You heard my tragic dating history, right? I am not going to make the first move.’

Callum nodded. ‘I’ve not had a great time either.’

Again, all my righteous—or perhaps not righteous but certainly sexually frustrated—energy drained away. ‘What do you mean?’

Callum’s expression tightened. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

‘Is it to do with Naomi?’ I asked. The only time Callum truly struggled with his words was when he wanted to say her name.

‘Yeah.’

I’d wondered. Callum said they were friends, but there had to be a reason he’d decided to tell her a big family secret. The most logical reason was that something about their relationship had shifted.

‘We kissed. Afterwards, she told me that she didn’t like it, that I’d made her feel uncomfortable, that she didn’t want to touch me.’ Callum swallowed, his eyes darting to mine before he looked down at his boots. ‘She said I forced her.’

Ah. So many of Callum’s actions made a whole lot more sense now. He always waited until I initiated hugs, always checked every time he reached for me that I was happy and comfortable.

Shit. His face when I’d suggested sharing the bed so that he wouldn’t have to sleep on the sofa any more. Of course he would be horrified by the thought that I’d allow him close for any other reason than that I wanted him there. He’d hate to think I’d been coerced into doing something I didn’t want to do.

‘I don’t think I forced her,’ Callum went on, his voice quiet. ‘Bonnie was there. She said, if anything, I was the one being kissed. I remember being shocked by it.’

As if drowning Callum’s family during a storm wasn’t enough, Naomi had also stripped him of his first kiss. Then made him feel like he’d bullied her into it.

‘I’ve been holding back because I’d hate for you to feel the same.’ Callum looked at me, his face so damn vulnerable I wanted to break into whatever high-security prison Naomi spent her worthless days in and bitch-slap her into next week. ‘It wasn’t because I didn’t want to kiss you.’

Heedless of the damp soaking through my panda-print socks, I closed the gap between us. Callum instantly folded me into his arms. Instead of nuzzling into the crook of his neck, I leant back to look up at his face. When he obligingly dipped his head, our lips were only inches apart.

‘Callum, I want to kiss you so damn much.’ My voice came out husky. Apparently that was what happened after a week of being blue-balled by the hottest man alive. ‘And do you know what I’m going to say once you kiss me?’

I was still pushing for that. It felt important that Callum made the first move. He’d been so considerate, so patient and caring. I didn’t want him to stop being any of those things, but I wanted him to take the things he wanted too. I wanted him to reach out, instead of always matching me when I reached for him.

‘What?’ Callum’s enlarged pupils flicked between my eyes and lips.

I darted out my tongue, gratified when he tracked its movement across my lower lip. I pressed up onto my tiptoes so the space between us grew narrower, and held in a moan as our chests melded together.

‘I’ll say, thank fuck,’ I said in my newly huskified voice. ‘Yes. Finally. I can’t believe this is happening. To clarify, in a good way. The best way. And my next thought will be, when can we do that again?’

A smile swept over Callum’s face. He was never not stunning. He could frown at me from this moment until I parted from this mortal plane, and I’d think he was the hottest person to ever walk the earth. But he was something else when he smiled. There weren’t words in the human vocabulary to describe how gorgeous Callum Armstrong was when truly happy.

He dipped his head, his nose bumping mine. ‘I’ll be thinking the same things,’ he murmured.

Then he closed the last distance between our lips.

And—weirdly, unprecedentedly, mind-shatteringly—I didn’t think of much at all for a long time except for how to keep this kiss happening forever and ever without end.