Somewhere New (Isle of Doughnut #1)

Chapter Thirty-Two

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CALLUM

‘ Y ou’re fine,’ I repeated. ‘You’re fine. Nothing bad is going to happen. Aster is coming back.’

Murmuring comforting words over and over to myself helped block out Aster’s conversation with my sister. He deserved privacy. The words didn’t, however, make me feel any less panicked. My heart beat frantically, demanding urgent action. Danger was near, rushing closer. I had to be prepared. I had to fight.

I stopped pacing before the fire and forced in a deep breath. ‘Aster isn’t going to hurt you. You trust him.’

I believed that, but Aster could do things—other than breaking my trust—that would crush me. He’d said he was just annoyed, but I held no illusions that everything would be fine when he walked back into the cabin.

I wasn’t human. Anyone would need time to come to terms with that. But Aster and I didn’t have a wealth of time. He had two weeks left on the island. After this bombshell, he’d want to spend them far away from me.

I raked my hands through my hair, refusing to let my claws extend. I’d wished this side of myself away a thousand times after my family died. If I hadn’t had anything to reveal, then they wouldn’t have been killed.

Aster wasn’t going to react so horrifically to my true nature, but it was understandable that he would react badly. It was reasonable that on finding out you were sharing a home and your bed with someone not quite human, that you would be displeased.

‘Please don’t be disgusted,’ I whimpered, scrunching my eyes shut against the hot tears forming.

Until today, there had only ever been warmth in Aster’s gaze when he’d looked at me. His anger had been scorching hot. Once it cooled, stark disgust would take its place as he packed his bags and left.

She looked at me differently. She had stepped back, face distorting. She’d refused to speak to me and had torn almost everything I loved away from me.

The door of the cabin swung open and Aster—panting and rosy cheeked—ran inside. I quickly lowered my hands to my sides and arranged my face into a neutral expression. I wouldn’t show him my desperation, wouldn’t make whatever he’d come back to do any harder.

‘I understand if you don’t want to be close to me any more.’ I used the moments while Aster tore off his coat and hopped out of his boots to lay the groundwork for him. Maybe then he wouldn’t show me what a monster he thought I was. ‘If you need space, I can leave. Or, if you don’t want to be here, I can sort out somewhere for you to stay in the village. Kit has a spare room. We don’t have to be around one another.’

Aster marched over to stand before me. Firelight flickered across his hair, his face hard. ‘Do you want me to leave?’

I swallowed the howl of mourning that threatened to escape. ‘No,’ I whispered.

‘Stop fucking talking about it then,’ Aster growled, then he yanked me hard into his chest.

I still couldn’t settle, panic roaring loud in my mind, but as Aster’s arms wrapped around me, I clung to him. I pressed my face into the side of his neck and breathed, tears leaking from my eyes.

‘Oh, Cal.’ Aster rubbed incomprehensible patterns across my back. ‘I’m sorry I got mad.’

I reared away. But not far. Not out of the circle of his arms. Just far enough that I could look into his eyes. ‘You had every right to get mad.’

He scrunched his nose. ‘Yeah. Kinda. Maybe gentle indignation would have been a more proportionate response?’

I shook my head, clutching his thick jumper. ‘I lied to you. I didn’t tell you what I am.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Aster said softly. So softly. And his eyes were so kind. ‘But you did it because you were scared, right?’

I froze, my teeth clenched together. Aster continued rubbing gentle patterns across my back.

‘If it’s any help, I’m not angry any more. And I was only pissed because I was shocked. I don’t care about you being a werewolf.’ He tilted his head, his eyes crinkling with a grin. ‘If you think about it, it’s freaking cool. I’m having sex with a literal werewolf.’

His heart hadn’t missed a beat. My eyes darted between his. He was right: I had been afraid. I was still afraid.

Aster rose up on his tiptoes to rest his forehead against mine. ‘I like you as much now as I did before I knew.’

His heartbeat stayed strong and clear. Tension leaked from my limbs. I gripped his jumper in my fists. ‘You don’t want to leave?’

‘Nope.’ Aster rubbed his forehead across mine.

‘I was afraid,’ I whispered. ‘I’m sorry I hid it.’

Aster dropped his feet flat on the floor and looked up at me. ‘I understand why you did. It’s okay.’ His eyebrows furrowed. ‘There’s nothing else though? Like, nothing else you’re hiding?’

I shook my head. Aster wouldn’t be able to hear the skip in my heartbeat if I said no, but I didn’t want to chance it. My final secret was for his benefit. He didn’t need to know I was in love with him. It would only make him leaving harder.

Aster sighed and cuddled into my chest. ‘Today has been a day. I need a long bath and junk food and to watch something crappy.’

I held him tight, the last traces of my fear shrinking as I breathed deep of his familiar scent. ‘We can do all that.’