Sorrow (Cape Frost #1)

9

Having clean clothes and basic necessities again makes me feel better. Not much better, but enough that I no longer feel like I’m living underwater.

Cooking in Hayes’ kitchen proves to be a lot nicer than cooking in mine, but whatever kindness he showed me this morning is gone now. He won’t even look at me as I whip up some Tuscan chicken and plate it for him on one of the whitest dishes I’ve ever seen.

I guess he wasn’t kidding that I’m not welcome here.

“I started looking for an apartment,” I lie, just trying to break the silence. “There isn’t much available, but there are a couple down by Potomac that aren’t too expensive.”

It’s the shittiest part of this shitty town, but I don’t exactly have a lot of money. I also realize that my options for employment are limited to say the least.

Beggars can’t be choosers .

He raises an eyebrow. “Potomac? You want to be surrounded by the same type of assholes that tagged your truck?”

I stare at him, hoping he realizes how ridiculous he sounds. I can’t stay here, I can’t go there. I don’t have all the money in the world. There’s a little left in my savings from the job I had in high school and my parents’ life insurance policies, but not enough to rent something in a better part of town for longer than a couple of months.

Not that there is a better part of town.

“What’s your suggestion then?” I challenge. “I should just start dealing coke like you do?”

“Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand,” he snaps. “Fucking narc. I also work every day, but of course you only choose to throw daggers about the one I can’t claim for taxes. What do you do again?”

I almost laugh. “I’m not a narc. I pointed that out because I can’t do ridiculously intricate custom woodworking like you do for your day job. But fuck me for trying to compliment you, right?”

“That was your idea of a compliment?” He scoffs. “I know you’re a virgin, but woodwork isn’t as hard as it seems. Maybe give it a try. Or I can give you an 8 ball and see if you can move it.”

Again, I think it would just be easier to hook Nate and get the fuck out. I could get a real job somewhere else — a town with actual restaurants and more than one general store. The desire to leave burns in my gut until the dumbest thing I’ve ever said comes out of my mouth. “Or you can quit making fun of me for being a virgin and just teach me how to fuck so Nate will get me out of here. Win/win.”

“Win/win for who?” He pushes his plate of food away and braces his elbows on the table. It’s strange to have his full attention, even overwhelming, but I don’t budge. I couldn’t take the words back if I wanted to. “You want me to fuck you, Hurricane?”

“No, I want you to teach me how to fuck Nate Jackson,” I correct, even though the butterflies in my stomach say otherwise. “It’s a win/win because you get rid of me for good if we succeed.”

“So you want me to teach you how to please a man?” There’s a wicked glint to his smirk before he shakes his head no and starts eating again. “How do you think Boo would take that? ”

I don’t imagine he’d like it very much. He probably thinks Hayes is too good for me, and if he figured out why I want to learn, he’d try to stop me anyway. He's made it clear that neither one of us is ever getting out.

But what he doesn’t know can’t hurt me. “Boo isn’t here overnight.”

I swear I see a war raging in his eyes that keeps me from predicting his response. It’s like he isn’t even tasting his food as he stares down at his plate and eats, but every so often, those dark eyes flick up to me before settling back on his chicken. “Are you on birth control?”

He frowns like that isn’t what was supposed to come out of his mouth, and now I’m afraid I’m dead in the water.

“No, I’m... not.”

There isn’t any reason for it.

“What have you done? Have you ever been kissed?”

Every inch of me wants to lie. But if he’s going to help me, really help me, he needs to know what he’s working with. And after all, I don’t care what he thinks of me. If this works, I’ll never see him again. “No. I’ve never done anything at all but make myself come. ”

His fist tightens around his fork as a look overtakes him I can’t place. Is it excitement? Dread? Something in between? “How do you usually do that?”

God, I don’t want to have this conversation with him. I don’t want to do this at all. The more I look at him, the more I picture him touching me and teaching me and guiding me... my clit throbs. I do want him. I hate him, but god, I want this.

Which is exactly why I shouldn’t let him anywhere near me.

“I don’t have any toys, so... usually just free porn and my fingers.”

He isn’t even eating anymore. All of his attention is on me like he’s having the exact same thoughts I am. He shouldn’t even be entertaining this conversation, and yet... “What kind of porn?”

I feel the heat rush back into my cheeks. I’m acutely aware of how narrow this table is, how close we are. His knee brushes against mine. “Is that relevant?”

“Yes. If you want me to teach you things, I have to know which way to go. Do you usually watch people make love? Or should I focus more on teaching you how to take my cock deep in your throat? ”

Fuck. My fork clatters to the table and I nearly spill my drink trying to grab it. I’m not cut out for this, not with him.

Come on, Samara. Act like a man. They talk about this shit all the time. “The second one. Nate said he likes to be rough.”

“Rough?” he repeats. “Doubt that pretty boy knows what rough is beyond shoving his cock inside someone with no foreplay.” Hayes holds out his finger and meets my gaze challengingly. “Suck. Show me what you got.”

Absolutely the fuck not.

The heat in my cheeks heads downward and pools in my stomach, because I know exactly what that is. It’s not sex, it’s submission.

“Hayes...” I start, but when all he does is raise his eyebrows, I realize he’s not going to budge. This is my test. If I pass, he’ll teach me. If I fail, he’ll go right back to making fun of me.

I have to get out of this town, especially now. I don’t have a choice.

Locking eyes with him to gauge his reaction, I flick my tongue over the tip of his finger and then slowly suck it into my mouth. It’s an odd feeling, an odd taste, but it’s easy to curl my tongue around it .

“Slow,” he growls, and the ragged breaths leaving him are the only indication that he’s affected at all. “Good girl. Run your tongue on the underside of the tip.”

I’m so used to blatantly disobeying him just to be an ass that it’s hard to listen, but I remind myself why I’m doing this. My freedom. My future.

My life.

I back up just enough to swirl my tongue under the pad of his finger, feeling the blazing heat return to my cheeks. I cannot believe I’m doing this.

“Yeah... like that.” I’ve never heard him speak this way before, never heard his voice so low. “More.”

A second digit slips in, and suddenly, this isn’t Hayes anymore. Not the Hayes that I’ve known my whole life, anyway. It’s someone different, someone new. Someone I actually want to please.

A tiny little moan escapes me as I slide my tongue between his fingers, losing myself to how it feels having something fill my mouth.

“Fuck,” he breathes, tugging me closer by my jaw as his own tenses. “Get on my lap. Show me how much you want me.”

Do I want him? More importantly, do I want him to know that ?

The asshole couldn’t have worded it any other way, could he? Whatever. I’m committed now.

Moving around the table, I climb into his lap and suck his fingers until he pulls them out of my mouth. I’ve never been this close to him before, at least not like this. “Now what?” I ask breathlessly.

“Shut up.” His mouth crashes to mine hungrily — almost too enthusiastically, like he forgot he was supposed to be teaching me — and then he slows to let our tongues get acquainted.

I have no idea what I’m doing, but somehow... it feels right. I follow his lead until I’m lost, not thinking about this being my first kiss, or Hayes Sarro being the one I’m kissing. I just sink into it.

I feel his fingers curl into my hips as his cock thickens between my thighs, and for the first time, I allow myself to believe he actually wants this.

My stomach flips violently at the thought.

Not knowing what else to do, I roll my hips to glide along his cock as I hesitantly meet his eyes again. “So will you teach me?”

“Alright,” he replies a little breathlessly. “One step at a time. But if at any point you forget our agreement, I’ll stop. You’re not in charge here, and I only train good girls. Is that what you are, Hurricane? Are you a good girl?”

My brain glitches. I don’t think I’ve been watching the right kind of porn. “What does that mean?”

“It means you do as I say and you treat me with respect.“ His hand grips my chin to keep me from looking away. “And you keep your eyes on me. Trust me, if your friend wants you trained, it isn’t to just lay there. Anyone can be a pillow princess. Not every woman can be a good girl.”

I’ve never been good at following directions, least of all those doled out by Hayes. But with my future on the line... I think I can do anything. “I can try.”

“If you can try, you can do. You just have to surrender yourself to me.” Suddenly, his fingers are slipping in the front of my pants. It fills me with terror, with lust.

It’s too much.

“Promise me you won’t make me feel bad about this tomorrow,” I whisper quickly. “Please.”

He presses against my clit before he gives me a response, rolling his fingers as he watches me closely. “I won’t. Not about this.” His mouth finds my pulse point, gentle and ghosting at first. It’s just enough to leave me wanting more.

And then... it hits me.

This is Hayes .

Infuriating, cruel, unforgiving Hayes Sarro.

His fingers on my pussy, his lips on my neck.

His hard cock throbbing under my ass as I squirm.

He might be making a mess of me, but I’m unraveling him, too.

“How often do you touch yourself, Samara?”

Even in this state I can hear he’s almost as breathless as I am. I don’t want to lie, but the answer probably isn’t what he’s looking for. “Umm... I don’t know. Once every couple of weeks? Our walls were thin.”

“Fuck. And when was the last time?”

He bites my neck hard enough to make me gasp — if that leaves a mark, I don’t know how I’m going to explain it. “Over a week ago. What about you?”

“So... pent up for me.” He presses my clit even harder before sitting back against his chair as he slowly slides my shirt off my body. He stares at my exposed skin like he’s fighting the urge to devour me, then mutters, “ Earlier today,” before sucking my nipple into his mouth.

It’s just like him to get off on other people’s misery. Today, of all days? What could possibly have t—

Oh, god. The way pleasure ripples through me completely derails my thoughts. My fingers tangle in his hair as I hold his head in place, gasping a plea for him to keep going. I’ve never felt anything like it.

He continues sucking like he’s on a mission, his fingers returning to my clit, and when I feel his cock twitch underneath me I realize we’re not stopping.

This is really happening.

With Hayes.

I may not have been watching the “good girl” kind of porn, but I definitely watched my fair share of dirty talk.

“You want my pussy, Sarro?” I ask, tugging his hair. “Do you want me to squirm on your cock, or choke on it?”

“Jesus, Sam! Who the fuck taught you to speak like that?” His hands fly to my hips as he rolls himself into me like he’s trying to fuck me through our clothes. “Like this... just like this.”

He guides me how he wants me to move on his cock while the fabric between us makes me grit my teeth. I’ve waited so long for this, to lose my virginity, to know what it’s like to be wanted, that I feel like I’m getting robbed.

I want more.

With no finesse at all, I kiss him again, catching his bottom lip between my teeth as I moan. “What does cum feel like?” I whisper as I grind a little faster, a little harder. “Would it be hot on my skin?”

Hayes almost whimpers as his movements get rougher. “Yeah. Want to know what it tastes like too, girl?”

“Yes,” I gasp out. “Teach me.”

When I meet his eyes, I swear I see past all the bullshit we’ve gone through to something more vulnerable. I don’t know if it’s real, but it’s there, and the hunger simmering just below the surface has me on the edge.

Nerves and all, I’m about to have my first orgasm that isn’t self-inflicted.

But then a fucking car door slams outside. Hayes tosses me aside with wide eyes like I weigh nothing and rushes into his bedroom. “Fuck!”

His door slams too, leaving me breathless, soaking wet, and so overheated I look like a mess by the time I get my shirt back on and Boo walks in from the foyer.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“Um—” my brain scrambles for an answer — “P-Panic attack. I’m fine.”

His face softens. “Shit, I thought you were done with those. It’s been over a year, right?”

It’s been over a year since I’ve bothered him with one, but yeah. When you’ve lived the life I have, they’re sort of omnipresent. “I’m okay. I think I just need to lay down.”

His gaze seems far away as he nods. “I just stopped to tell you we’re allowed to go back in the house now. It doesn’t seem like there’s much left, but they’ve concluded their investigation and turned the property back over to me. We can try to see if there’s anything worth salvaging.”

It’s like a bucket of ice water. If they’re done already... “They got away with it, didn’t they?” I ask softly. “The Sons.”

“Reeve and Chief Gale were both convinced it was arson, but the arson investigator said it was faulty electrical. My guess is someone’s daddy paid him off. So yeah, they got away with it. For now.”

Anger coils inside of me until it makes me lightheaded. It’s not fair, it’s not fair — and yet, Boo seems unbothered by this.

“So what are you going to do?”

He shrugs, eyeing our dinner plates and the chicken left on the stove. “I’m going to eat some dinner, sleep for a couple of hours then go back to work until the sun rises. Same old, same old.”

There’s still so much he’s not telling me, but now I have a secret of my own. That’s all this town ever seems to be: secrets and curses, curses and secrets.

It just makes me that much more determined to get the fuck out.