Sorrow (Cape Frost #1)

18

The nicest thing about living with Hayes is having access to his food. The Chicken Bryan I make for dinner is fucking delicious — possibly the best thing I’ve ever made — but the goat cheese alone is so expensive that Boo and I could never afford it. Hayes clearly doesn’t have that issue, and I’m more than happy to take advantage of it.

Boo eats so much he’s sluggish as hell leaving for work, groaning and moaning about how he’s too full to go chase criminals around. I’d roll my eyes if I weren’t genuinely worried about him right now. “Just be careful, okay?” I plead. I won’t tell him Hayes told me the truth, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hint at it. “I don’t care what they say or what they do. You get those guys and just end this, okay?”

“I’m trying. It’s not as easy as it looks. ”

His defensive tone has me backing down and staying silent until I’m shutting the door behind him, when I find Hayes leaning against the bookshelf in the foyer. “How do you see this ending?” I ask.

“This shit with The Sons or... us?”

Oh, hell. We both know how it’ll end between us — probably in a fiery pit of hell or something. “The Sons. But... both?”

Slowly, he closes the distance between us. “I don’t know,” he admits. “Hopefully with their graves.”

Yeah. Hopefully theirs and not my brother’s.

“And us?”

“I don’t know that either, but I don’t see you actually fucking this Nate guy.“

Irritation makes my jaw tick. “Oh? And why’s that? You don’t think I’m attractive enough for him?”

“I think you’re too attractive for him in every way. You’re a hurricane, and he’s just a... wet blanket.”

There’s that word again, hurricane. It makes my stomach sour when I really think about what it means — all that fear and death. But when he calls me that, it doesn’t sound malicious. It sounds... precious. “So what’s the problem then? Why won’t I fuck him?”

He shuts me up with a kiss I don’t expect, then cuts it off before I’m ready for it to end. “Go try on your new lingerie.”

Fuck, I really hate him sometimes. “Which one? The one you bought for Nate, or the one you bought for you?”

“Nate,” he practically growls. “The pink one.”

Oh, this’ll be fun and not violent at all. Curtseying just to be an asshole, I skirt past him back to his room where I stashed the bag.

As I anticipated, I look like a fucking clown in this thing. The ruffles really don’t do it any favors, and the color makes my skin look even more washed out than it already does.

But hey, my tits are visible and my ass is completely out, so I have a feeling it’ll still do the trick. Even I know that men are simplistic creatures.

I find Hayes leaning against the door frame watching me when I turn around, his gaze roaming my body hungrily. “Look at you.”

He smirks.

Of course he smirks .

“What?”

“Nothing. Lie on the bed and spread your legs for me.” He’s still just fucking leaning against the frame like he has all the time in the world. Must be nice.

I feel ridiculous as I get into position, exposed and vulnerable. “Are you planning on standing there all night?”

“No.” He lingers for a moment longer, then finally closes the door behind him. I see his erection grow with each step he takes, watching him get turned on just by staring at me.

Me . In this stupid pink lingerie.

“Well, we both know you’re not gonna fuck my pussy. So what’ll it be tonight? My ear? Nostril? Maybe an eye socket or two? You’re running out of holes.”

Hayes huffs. “Even like this, you can’t help but run your little mouth. I have plans, and yet the more you talk, the more I want to fuck the sass out of your mouth.”

“You can try,” I tease. “I breathe out of my ears, that's why I don’t listen.”

I’m pleasantly surprised when he laughs. “That makes sense.” I watch him curiously as he tosses his shirt aside and climbs on the bed, sitting down and facing me. It gives him easy access to slide his hand between my legs, but he’s too close. Staring at me too intensely.

“I always make sense. I’m a genius.”

“I know,” he agrees, but he sounds more amused than honest. “What’s your favorite thing we’ve done?”

Rough fingers press right against my clit, grinning when he finds me wet. I don’t really know how to answer him. Everything we’ve done has been shrouded in a doom cloud, so have I truly enjoyed any of it? It felt good, sure. I’ve had a lot of orgasms. But there hasn’t been a single moment where I’ve forgotten why Hayes Sarro is touching me.

So, I’m as honest as I can be while still remembering the game we’re playing. “Anal. I like feeling full.”

“I liked that too,” he whispers, his other hand ghosting against his teeth mark. “You’re going to love being fucked in this pussy too.”

Before I can ask when the hell that will be, his fingers slip inside of me. Maybe it’ll be today after all, but I’m done begging. He made me feel pathetic enough last time.

“At least that’s something I can hold onto.”

“So wet. ”

He’s talking so low it doesn’t feel like he’s talking to me, but when he pushes them in further than ever before, I start to understand what he’s talking about.

It feels good. Really good. Like the best kind of pressure. “More,” I gasp. “Fuck.”

“Say please.” He shifts to sit on his knees, then presses his lips to my shoulder as he massages the inside of my pussy.

It’s enough to make my eyelids flutter.

“Please.”

He obliges, shoving them almost all the way to his bloodied knuckles with a groan. It burns, but god, it feels good. Bracing back on my arms, I follow my instincts and roll my hips, staring down at where his fingers disappear inside me. “Is this what it’ll feel like?” I gasp. “Sex?”

“No, but I’m sure it’s close. My cock will feel like it was made for you.”

His thumb brushes my clit as he continues to finger me, but his words only remind me that he’s done this more times than I care to count. I’m sure everyone thought his cock was made for them. And they were wrong.

“Will his?”

His hand moves a little rougher, this time meeting a resistance that gives all too easily and allows him to sink all the way inside. “Shit,” he hisses, retracting his fingers with an awed expression.

Following his gaze, I find blood covering his skin. I know enough about my own body to realize my “cherry” isn’t a physical thing that can break or pop, and he probably didn’t tear my hymen since he was already in there. But something he did made me bleed, so maybe that’s enough. Maybe now I can lie and tell Nate I’m not a virgin anymore, and I don’t have to keep putting off my timeline because Hayes is dragging his feet.

“What’s wrong, Hayes?” I goad. “Did me bringing him up make you want to hurt me?”

“Stop trying to force yourself to think of another man while my fingers are inside of you.” He shoves them back in. “You think you’re going to be able to put this outfit on and happily let that pussy touch you? You think your mind will be on him at all?”

He brushes my clit again before I can form words, but he’s right. I won’t be thinking about Nate in the moment. I’ll be thinking about whatever the hell I need to think about in order to make it good — so if that means Hayes, so be it .

“You think you’ll focus on the next girl you’re with? Or will you bend her over, close your eyes and pretend it’s me?”

“Business as usual then.” An irritated growl leaves his throat just as teeth sink into my skin. Again.

Something tells me he didn’t mean to say that.

My fist tangles in his hair to hold him right where he’s at. “You haven’t fucked anyone since we started this, Hayes. You wanted me before that.” The realization makes me lightheaded, sends butterflies through my system even as he fingers me like he’s punishing me.

I feel him suck to mark me further, his hand working me perfectly as we make a mess of his comforter, and when he curls his fingers upward I can’t hold back. My pussy clenches and my whole body shudders with that orgasm, but I want more. I want him. I want him to take me, fuck me into the mattress and make me forget all my plans and schemes. I need him to sink inside of me and show me how it feels, to fill the void that’s been there for years.

But I won’t beg. Not again.

“Good girl.” Scrambling over me, Hayes pulls his cock out and settles between my legs, making more butterflies erupt inside of me as he fists himself and begins to stroke.

Is it finally happening? Is he about to fuck me like I’ve been craving and truly take my virginity? I float there for a while waiting for it, high on the anticipation of our bodies joining, but it quickly begins to fade. His eyes are glued on my bloody pussy, an animalistic energy radiating off of him as he uses my blood as lube to feverishly pump his cock.

It’s still not going to happen. Disappointment nearly drowns me as I realize how bad I actually want it — not just in general, but with him. I want to hear him whimper, hear him praise me. I want it to be him.

“Does that feel good, baby?” I whisper. “Nice and hot?”

He nods, looking almost boyish as he leaks into his fist. “So good, Samara.”

His breathing hitches when he twists the crown, telling me he’s close. He just needs a little nudge.

“Come on my pussy, Hayes. Make a mess of me.”

“Goddamnit... fuc— Hurricane!”

Hayes releases with a growl, cum shooting out to cover my stomach and pussy. It’s warm and wet and not anywhere near where I really want it, but when it finally stops, Hayes reaches out to smear it in.

Now pink tinged and even more sticky, Hayes has the nerve to push some of it inside of me.

And I have the nerve to fucking love it.

Gasping, I meet his eyes as a thousand things run through my head. They range from bad to worse, but the most hellish thought I have is that I don’t think I hate him anymore. I’ve been trying so hard to hold onto it that it slipped through my fingers, and now all I’m left with is a gorgeous man who does nothing but make me feel good.

What’s happening to me?

“Feel better?” I ask, tone teasing. “Or was that not enough blood for you?”

“Both,” he admits, his cock heavy between his thighs as he finally meets my gaze. “Did it hurt?”

I agreed not to lie to him, so... “A little. I liked it, though. I feel like a little bit of pain heightens the pleasure.”

“I think so too.” After releasing a deep breath, Hayes climbs off the bed in search of a towel. “So are you sure you’re ready to be fucked? My cock is bigger than my fingers, and I’ll fuck you much harder than that.”

I am having second thoughts for the first time, but not because I think I can’t take it. Because I want it too much and desire is dangerous. “I’ve been ready, Hayes. And it sounds like you’ve been ready, too.”

My words make him frown a little, but he nods and begins cleaning me off. “You want to use my tub?”

“Sure. Will you join me?”

Glancing over at it, he huffs a little. “You actually want me to? It’s big enough, but I thought you’d tell me to get lost.”

Shrugging, I swing my legs over the side of the mattress. “Maybe I’m changing my mind.”

“Maybe, huh?” Hayes moves into the bathroom and turns on the water, then tosses in a bath bomb like that isn’t the girliest thing I’ve ever seen him do. “I got those for you.”

He didn’t. I can see the package he pulled it from, and it looks almost empty.

“So we’re back to lying,” I say quietly, moving behind him so I don’t have to see the look on his face. “Good to know.”

“I was joking,” he grumbles. “I forgot a sense of humor was foreign to you. ”

Well, the moment has passed, I see. I still want to hold his head under this bubbly fucking bath water until he stops struggling.

“On second thought, I don’t want to take a Hayes soup bath, so maybe you can fuck off for a little.”

Chuckling, his fingers curl around my hip to keep me there. “No take backs.”

Glaring up at him, I climb into the tub and try like hell not to show him how good it feels as I sink down and take up as much space as I can.

I’m surprised when he doesn’t climb in right away. He sets out towels for us and tosses me a washcloth, and I have to bite back a chuckle at the expression on his face when he realizes the tub might not be as big as he thought with two people inside of it. “Good thing you’re small. This might not work otherwise.”

He climbs inside behind me, bodily sliding me forward when I try to take up even more space.

I lose. Of course I lose.

“Oh look, it’s not working,” I lie. “Oops. Bye.”

But those rough hands grip both of my hips to keep me in place. “When did you pick up running as a hobby?” he quips, pulling me back against him. He’s so warm I don’t fight it this time.

“I could be chased by a hoard of mangy coyotes and I still wouldn’t be bothered to run.”

“And what if you were being chased by me?”

His tone takes on something a little different there, something dark and almost sinister. Something guttural.

“Are you trying to kill me, or fuck me?”

“Don’t spoil the ending, Hurricane. It ruins the ride.”

Well now I can hear the smirk in his voice. Hmph.

“If you’re going to kill me, I won’t bother running. But if you’re chasing me to fuck me, a girl might just power walk.”

That makes him laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind. Might want to see that one day.”

One day. That day will never come and we both know it, which dampens the mood as I dip the cloth in the deep purple water. As a matter of fact, if my plan works, this will be the last time we’re ever intimate in any way.

“Thank you,” I say quietly.

I don’t get a response for a while. I listen to him breathe for so long it makes me blush like an idiot, and then he leans in so close I can feel his lips on my ear when he speaks. “You’re welcome.”

“What’s it like out there?” I ask, knowing Hayes has done his fair share of traveling. “The rest of the world, I mean. Is it nice?”

He leans back again with a heavy sigh. “Sometimes. I mean... people are shit everywhere, but the energy is different from city to city — enough so that I considered buying a trailer and living on the road just so I could experience as many places as possible.”

It’s probably the most personal thing he’s ever said to me, and also the most hopeful. I’m used to shitty people. But shitty people in a shitty town where it never gets above freezing? I can’t handle it anymore.

“So why do you stay? You’ve clearly got enough money and the skills to do whatever you want. Why stay here at all?”

“Because it’s the only place I have people who actually care about me. Or I did when my grandmother was alive, at least. Now I can’t imagine going anywhere because of The Sons.”

“Funny, they’re most of the reason I want to leave. They want this town, they can have it. ”

“Yeah, tell that to Boo who’s hellbent on saving this frozen wasteland.”

“And I’m in the way of that. He can’t do anything until he no longer has to worry about me, so... I guess I’m on the right path. I hope for both of your sakes that when I’m gone, he makes Cape Frost a better place to live.”

Hayes doesn’t respond.

He just grabs the washcloth from my hand and begins lathering it up with body soap as his giant arms envelope me, and instead of flinching or shying away, I lean into it. This might be the last time anyone shows me any amount of comfort or respect, and while I asked Hayes not to let me get used to it, I don’t care. I want it, because at least for the moment... I don’t feel like a cursed girl.