SOS HOTEL: Ho, Ho, No

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Zee found the most colorful bedroom suite to have ever assaulted human eyes, highlighted with candy plastics, fluffy pinks, and soft pastel velvets, and immediately began to make it even more outrageous by gathering up all the multicolored cushions from the other bedroom displays.

The overhead lights were off, but the little bedside lamps worked, so we kept one of those aglow while he nested. The result was a comfy nook. If there hadn’t been a murderer lurking somewhere nearby, it would have made for a great sleepover.

“Get in, Kitten.” Zee sprawled on the large bed, propped his head on his hand, and patted the spot on the quilt beside him.

“Shouldn’t we stay on guard, just in case?”

“You can rest up while I keep an eye out for our unfriendly neighborhood murderer.”

It was tempting, but also, I couldn’t shake the image of the bloody body and those claw marks in the wall.

“Sit, babycakes. You’re making me nervous.”

“Alright.” I perched on the edge of the bed, then scooted up to the cushions and shuffled into their floofy embrace. Zee wriggled in closer, draping all of himself against my side. His purple eyes sparkled in the dim lighting.

Zee’s hand settled on my hip non-suggestively, but it was unlikely to stay there. I let him see my soft smile, and his tail wrapped itself around my ankle.

“This is kinda nice,” I admitted.

“I know, right? And if anyone fucks up my nest, they’re getting a spork to the face. We’re badasses, we got this. We’ll wait it out till morning.” He walked his fingers up my waist, over my crinkled shirt. “Hm... What can we do to pass the time in this comfy bed, I wonder?”

“I have no idea.” I played along. “What do people usually do in beds all night?”

“If it’s my bed, Kitten, there ain’t a lot of sleepin’.” His fingers traced my chin, turning my head. His dazzling eyes drank me in, and pulled me down to where all the worry vanished—to where the only thing that mattered was me and Zee in our own little bubble of lusty bliss.

Every time he looked at me like this, I was sure he’d realize his mistake and go find someone better, but he never did. When Zee looked into me, he made me wonder whether I really was more than just a failed Chosen One who’d only been good at hiding from people and was definitely not great at saving them.

My heart pounded, my body knowing exactly where this was headed. Despite our life-and-death situation, I was here for some spicy action in Zee’s rainbow nest. Or maybe because of the life-and-death stakes. Nobody else made me feel protected quite like Zee. Except Victor.

Zee’s finger stroked across my bottom lip and my heart thudded harder. Heat scorched my veins. It wouldn’t be long before I forgot where we were—about our plan to hide—and fell down the rabbit hole that was Zee, like I always did when I was the subject of all his intense focus.

A blood-chilling scream echoed through the store. It pierced through my lust-fueled haze and dumped a bucket of ice-water through my veins, flushing out all the heat. Zee clutched me, smooshing me against his chest.

“Ah, there you are?—”

I twisted in time to see Zee’s tail fling the spork at Victor’s face. Victor caught the spork in the air, an inch from his eye. And blinked.

“Did you just attempt to stab me with a spork, demon?” Victor asked in his smooth, unhurried murder voice.

“No?”

“Victor!” I sprang from Zee’s arms and reached for him. It was a reflex at this point, and with a similar impulse, Victor knelt on the bed, scooping me into his arms. We snapped together like two magnets. He always smelled so damn good. And felt good too. Solid. Firm. So firm. Hm. Oh wait, that was parts of me. Ahem.

“Was that your scream, Fancy Fangs?” Zee asked.

“When have you ever heard me scream?” Victor’s voice rumbled through me, rekindling the heat.

“I dunno. It just seemed like a vampire scream. All high pitched and whiny like y’all are. Just sayin’.”

“Prey scream, demon,” Victor growled. “Vampires are not prey.” His warm touch stroked down my face. “It seems you are pleased to see me, Adam.”

“Oh, that’s . . .” He’d noticed how hard I was from Zee’s teasing. “I uh . . . Zee and I were . . .”

“Ugh.” Zee flopped back into his nest of pillows. “Your timing sucks. I was about to give him head so we could forget this shit-show of a shopping trip, but no, you gotta show up and spoil the fun times.”

Victor tossed the spork onto the bed. “I rather think the scream spoiled it. Also, it is a foolish time to engage in sexual exploits while you’re hiding from a bloodthirsty creature of unknown origin. By rendering your senses blind to all but passion you missed my approach, and would also likely miss the approach of said creature hunting you.”

Zee blinked too fast. “Did you say something? I zoned out from boredom . Besides, I knew it was you, that’s why the spork didn’t hit its target.” He examined his nails, pretending Victor’s arrival was meaningless when it hadn’t been long ago he’d been concerned about where he was. He reached down and adjusted his shorts, which were so tight they looked like they’d been painted on around his eager and generous dick. Zee’s grin was the icing on the incubus cake—that cake being the whole fluffy, candy-colored bedroom showroom. “Also, au contraire, ye olde fanged fossil. Now is the perfect time for sex. I get a power-up, and Adam gets to let off steam in this fabulous fucking bedroom nest I made for us. Win-win.”

“I don’t know what’s more disturbing. The creature stalking the store or your interior design.”

“Isn’t it great?” Zee’s grin grew.

“It’s an assault on the visual spectrum and entices me to gouge my own eyes out with that spork.” Eyes that shone like molten silver in the soft ambient lighting.

Zee narrowed his eyes. “Do you still have my spiky dick?”

“I left your phallic cactus with the rest of our shopping at the checkouts when it became clear you weren’t going to make the exit before the wards sealed you inside.”

“There are wards?” I asked, separating myself from Victor’s embrace and sitting near the end of the bed so I could see them both.

“Yes, keeping unsavory people out, and unfortunately us inside, until the store reopens. I was able to slip back inside prior to the store closing.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “It seems, however, we are not alone.”

That explained why we couldn’t find the exit, or a way out. The wards were a theft deterrent, and for those who did break in, it kept them inside, walking a maze, until the authorities could deal with them at opening time.

A warning sign about the wards would have been helpful. Although, we’d still have been lost in the store, even with a sign. But at least we’d have known what we were dealing with.

“We found a body. Was that you?” Zee asked, reclining on the many cushions.

“I haven’t murdered anyone, no.”

Zee peered at Victor through narrowed eyes. “A bit sus, though. Daddy Vampire gets trapped inside with us and the staff start dropping like flies.”

“C’mon, Zee . . .” I warned.

“I’m just sayin’ what we’re all thinkin’.”

He knew it wasn’t Victor. When Zee was nervous he deflected, and right now he was deflecting sass all over Victor.

“I heard something when we were running away from the Winter Wonderland section,” I said.

“The what?” Victor asked.

“We weren’t running ,” Zee clarified, so there weren’t any misunderstandings about bravery in front of the thousand-year-old vampire. “Just walking real fast.”

“What did you hear, Adam?” Victor asked, shifting to face me.

“Someone laughing. A man, I think. He had a deep voice. Maybe?”

“I didn’t hear anything.” Zee dismissed with a flick of his hand.

“Maybe I didn’t hear it. I don’t know. It was mixed in with the music, so it could have been part of the song? I’m kinda doubting myself now.”

“What did the voice say?” Victor asked, his expression hardening, turning focused.

“It sort of laughed, in a weird way. It sounded strange, but went something like... ho, ho, ho .”

Zee snorted, then shivered all over as a darker thought occurred to him. “Maybe it was one of those freaky-ass gnomes?”

“Ah,” Victor said, drawing both our gazes back to him.

“Ah?” I asked.

“I fear we’re dealing with a bloodthirsty sociopath with no boundaries, who plays by few rules but their own. Infamous for animal cruelty, with a slew of unlawful-entry and criminal-damage charges. And it appears they’ve escalated to mass murder.”

Zee propped himself up on his elbows. “And this peach is?”

Victor paused for dramatic effect.

“Santa Claus.”