Soul of Ice (Chronicles of Dawn)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Blinking several times before her vision finally adjusted to the too-bright room, Surina groaned, glancing down at herself to find she wore a silk and lace nightgown under the covers that were pulled up to her chest. And her skin—definitely freshly washed. Cold too. A cold that not even the heavy blankets or the reach of the fire could appease.

With a grimace, she rolled onto her side, every muscle in her body screaming in agonizing retaliation as she dragged herself to the edge. Trying to piece together the fuzzy memories of last night, she couldn’t recall how she made it to Ezra’s room in the Castmonts’ estate, let alone his bed.

Her feet had barely landed on the floor when a loud commotion sounded from outside of the second-story bedroom window. The sunlight filling the room insisted it was late-morning, and she used a hand to avert it from her overly sensitive eyes as she made her way over. What awaited in the courtyard below was absolute devastation.

It looked like the earth itself had been picked up and thrown back down, with massive fissures tearing through the courtyard. Whatever hedges and shrubs survived the destructive impact, had succumbed to the sickly drain of life and were black with decay. The surrounding trees, far enough away from the cracks and crevices of the chasm, were either torn or canted. It was a disaster.

“I didn’t think you’d wake so soon,” a bracing voice called from behind.

With a shrill yelp, she just about jumped out of her skin, spinning around and immediately finding glittering, teal irises.

That’s when it all came back. Everything from last night.

Her hand slapped to her throat, and sure enough, they were there. Two swollen punctures. She hissed at the fresh sting, only to see that same pain reflected in his face.

“You…” His gaze fell as she moved her lips to find the words. “You stopped it—stopped me . How did you know that would work?”

Hairs prickled on the nape of her neck, all the way down her spine, following the trail of shivers. It was like his presence riled the saliva in her blood. Like it knew he was near.

Those eyes flicked back up, wide with surprise. “I didn’t. I just didn’t know what else to do. Whatever was building up around you— in you —was burning you from the inside out. Why were you holding on to it?”

A sob lodged in her throat as she recalled the way he’d curled around her, using his body to take every strike after his bite snapped the tethers all at once, releasing the swell of power. He shielded her from everything.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Gods-dammit, Surina.” He sighed a shaky breath while taking a step towards her, but she lifted a hand to halt him, backing away until she hit the window.

“Did I… hurt you?” she whispered, voice cracking a little as she turned to face the courtyard. She needed water, but right now, she needed answers more. “Did I hurt anyone else?”

“No one was hurt. Thankfully, the courtyard is one the few places off limits to anyone but guests of the Castmonts.” His voice was low, and almost cautious, seeming to select each of his words carefully.

Probably afraid she would have another melt-down.

Regardless, her chest heaved with relief to hear that no one was harmed. As she brought her arms around herself, the only question on her mind was something she’d asked herself a thousand times over. “What’s wrong with me?”

Ezra lifted a hand to the small of her back, the press of his body settling the rigid strain of her shoulders almost immediately—until he opened his mouth again. “Nothing is wrong with you.”

Shifting sideways, her gaze shot to his. “How can you say that after what I did? I could have killed you.” It sounded surreal to even say it aloud, but there was no way to deflect the reality, which was how dangerously unpredictable her power was.

To her surprise, he snorted a laugh. “It’ll take a lot more than some rocks and wind to put me down.”

Surina’s mouth dropped open. “This isn’t funny, Ezra,” she returned sharply, completely thrown off by his comedic timing. He was much less bothered than she assumed he would be after wreaking havoc on an entire courtyard. Not to mention his skin and eyes—more vibrant and lively than ever. He was… different, somehow.

Ezra frowned then. “You’re right, it’s not funny. It’s been a pain in my ass to cover up. Do you know how unbelievable it is to suggest a wild storm touched down in one centralized location?” He gestured to the sky outside, where there wasn’t a cloud in sight. “But I really don’t fucking care what they believe. I wouldn’t care if you’d leveled this entire estate, if I’m entirely honest. I’m just grateful you’re here . Alive. Nothing else matters to me right now.”

Her brows knitted together as she sifted through the hazy memories. It all happened so fast, but the storm… she thought she’d imagined that at the end, when she was fading. First from the loss of control, and then from the loss of blood. “That storm—that was me ?”

“It had to be. I’m honestly finding myself completely surprised by you each and every day. You’re—”

“Broken.” She finished his words for him. “I’m broken.”

The awe in his eyes softened to a somber plea. “You’re not broken, Surina, you’re incredible.”

“Stop. Just stop with the bullshit! There’s nothing incredible about what I did last night. There’s something wrong with me! Ever since I was born there’s been something wrong with me, and whatever it is, it’s getting worse. I drain power from the earth and brought a creature to life , for fuck’s sake, and you want to pretend like everything is fine?”

That sobered his gaze right up, ripping that gentle veil from his features in one fell swoop. “Keep your voice down .” Ezra snarled through a harsh whisper, eyes narrowing as she jerked from the sudden grip at her arm.

With him standing so close, she had to tilt her head back just to meet his stare. “I’ll shout it down the halls of the keep if you don’t start talking. You know something. I could tell by the way you and Moira looked at each other that day.”

“I don’t know how you did it, Surina. Honest.”

He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t exactly telling the truth, either. “Then tell me what you do know.”

There was nowhere for him to run any more. No way to dig himself out of this one—though with the way he looked at her, it didn’t feel like he wanted to.

The stiffened strain on her arm gave way, and his eyes drifted over to the well-furnished lounging area across the room before he nodded in that direction. “Sit down,” he muttered.

She didn’t.

“Trust me. You’ll want to be seated for this.” He just exhaled when she wouldn’t budge, taking his own advice and making his way to the nearest sofa.

She eventually followed, but only because he didn’t insist on her compliance. Besides, her knees were starting to sway with the loss of blood catching up to her, and the plush comfort of the lounges was an invitation in itself.

The Castmont estate was beautiful, if a fortified castle could ever be considered for its beauty. While she liked the pristine ivory of Thesia, the gray stone of Castmont Keep surprisingly felt more like a home than a castle. That might have more to do with the lady of the keep though. Dahlia’s mom, Olette, who had been nothing but warm and inviting during their stay, had ensured every section of the keep was brought to life with colorful tapestries, oil paintings, and striking furniture designs. Even the rugs brought a new level of light that Thesia simply couldn’t contest.

Seating herself in the lounge diagonal from his spot on the sofa, Surina tugged the nearest woolen blanket around her shoulders, only now realizing how much the slip of a gown revealed. Flinching against the abrasive nature of wool rubbing at the knots on her throat, she ignored the swelling warmth that ignited with the memory of his teeth sinking into her flesh, and the rivulets of pleasurable heat that dragged her body under his spell.

His voice was soft when he finally spoke, despite the tightness of his jaw when tearing his gaze from the punctures. “The reason I say there’s nothing wrong with you, is because we expected this. We didn’t know to what extent, but Moira predicted your magic would… change. Enhance .”

“How? I mean…” Her gaze roved to the side as she peered at the doors to the room, ensuring they were closed. In an attempt to be more cautious than earlier, she brought her voice to a low whisper, just as Ezra had. “Bringing something to life, though? Really? How could she predict that ?”

He sighed—there was a lot of that going around these days. “We still don’t know that’s what you did. It could have just been some form of enchantment. There’s no way to be certain that it was alive. Not without Moira studying the thing.”

Well, that thing was still missing, and so was Moira, according to Surina’s most recent letter from Cyril. “So… what? Moira is an expert on fae magic or something?”

Raking his fingers through his hair, he pondered for a moment. “Moira is a thousand years old. She has lived through more than you could possibly imagine. As much as I detest her kind, I trust her judgment.”

A thousand years , she mouthed, taken completely aback. Surina knew her instructor was old, but not… old , old. Ancient, is what she was. Moira would have lived through the Second Age War. Or parts of it, at the very least.

“How long have you known her then?” She imagined it would have been ages, considering Moira was the only dragon permitted to live within the capital by both kings.

“Since the accords, twenty years ago,” he returned quietly.

Grazing her fingers along the sun-scarred palm, Surina shifted anxiously in her seat. “Was she there with the Lythians?”

His jaw pulsed to life. “No. Moira was a priestess of the temple at the time.”

“A priestess?” she repeated, trying to imagine a dragon in priestess’s robes. Honestly, it wasn’t all that surprising, and it explained Moira’s reserved nature—not to mention her incessant need to bring the divines into every lesson.

After a nod, Ezra continued. “She was to preside over the accords. It was Moira who invited Sienna to accompany us, so her pregnancy could be blessed before the divines. We were foolish to think we were safe on hallowed grounds.” His face fell, but not for long as a mask of fury formed. “When the Lythians arrived, there was something off. They were anxious—restless. None of them could sit still long enough to read through the written accord, but it was their king who appeared the most unsettled. From the moment Emryn walked through the doors of the temple, his eyes never left Sienna. It was like he was staring at a ghost.”

The hairs of her body stood up with just a mention of the dragon king’s name—and for her mom to have witnessed the massacre that followed…

“I wanted to put an end to it right then, but Casimir urged me to let it go. That the loss of peace wasn’t worth such a minor discourtesy.” Tendrils of fog whisked over his flesh. “When it was time to sign the accords, though, Emryn wouldn’t. Instead, he started up on some nonsense about a darkness returning to inherit the world. The end of light, he said, and he’d sooner fall to earth and stone than let that happen.”

Surina thought the whispers in her head were enough to get her locked away. Emryn’s warning was eerily similar to the wording in her dragon-scaled book. That ominous foretelling of an endless night. “What does that last part mean? Earth and stone?”

Ezra shook his head, the roll of his shoulders an obvious flare of irritation. “Some saying the dragons use. It means a return to the origin of their creation—to earth and stone—meaning death.”

“So he was saying he would rather die?”

“Yes,” he murmured, the clutch of his hand over the armrest making the wood beneath the fabric groan. “Emryn was the first to draw his blade. He went for Sienna.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, her fingers immediately found the crescent at her chest.

“To attack a mother and her unborn child is a great sin. One we didn’t expect. It all happened so fast.” Ezra peered into an upturned palm, like he was searching for the rest of those memories within them. “Casimir took the strike meant for her.”

Her father had died to save his mate and child, Surina already knew, but to learn it all stemmed from some cowardly desperation of a mad king was enough to make her blood run wild.

A trail of wind drifted her cheeks then—that gentle aura—and she grimaced when the slicing pain at her palm became apparent. Surina relented the tight clench of the necklace, the sting of the engraved metal leaving an imprint behind in her flesh.

“After Casimir fell, it was a complete bloodbath. Even with the enchantments on the temple preventing dragons from shifting, they were formidable. We would have never made it out alive without Moira. I owe her my life— ours .” His throat bobbed with a tight swallow.

Surina rose to her feet, the fire’s light painting her disbelief with a radiant heat. “There were two Thesian kings in the temple, and he went for my mom first? Why? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because it wasn’t us he wanted. It wasn’t even Sienna that he wanted, not really. Whatever they felt —whatever Emryn thought he sensed, was inside of her.”

Then, Ezra was on his feet, too, midnight lashes veiling much of his glassy irises as he took her hand in his. “The great evil he spoke of, he thought it to be you. The Myrah draug .”

An audible intake of breath swelled her lungs as her knees trembled in response. “ Myrah draug .” She exhaled, quickly realizing she hadn’t imagined hearing that part when he just kept her stare, studying her with harrowing reservation.

Ezra frowned, tilting his head to get a better read on her features. “You’ve heard of it?” His question was slow…unsure.

Fairly certain he’d gotten through most, if not all of the dragon-scaled text, she wondered if he’d missed that section somehow.

Surina nodded. “What does it mean?”

Unsurprisingly, he didn’t seem open to sharing, so she prodded further. “Tell me, Ezra. I want to know.” No, she deserved to know. If she was the reason her father was murdered—the reason all of those fae were murdered. “ Please .”

The grip on her hand softened, his head dipping in surrender, though he didn’t look pleased to any degree. “It has many meanings, none of them good. Mistress of the draug —the night. Queen of the end. She was a harbinger in folklore. An omen.”

As if sensing the uneasy flip of her stomach, he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “But it isn’t real . It’s a story told to children hundreds of years ago to keep them in line, or else Myrah draug would bring their souls to her master.”

It was real enough to Emryn. Real enough to kill for.

Real enough to die for.

To earth and stone, Emryn promised that night, knowing death was as likely as the sun rising.

Ezra’s scowl persisted. “You can’t possibly think there’s any truth to it. He was a lunatic, Surina. A mad man.”

There was enough evidence in the courtyard to refute every bit of Ezra’s logic, and it took one turn of her head for him to catch on to that exact thought.

Tearing his glare from the scene, he faced her again. “All he sensed in you was power . Nothing more.”

Anyone who could have validated that statement had perished in the accords—apart from one dragon… “It wasn’t just him who sensed it, though. You said all the dragons felt it. Did Moira? Is that how she knew about my magic?”

“She wasn’t sure what it was. That’s why she came to the palace. To watch you grow while studying your power along the way.”

So Moira hadn’t been there to simply hone Surina’s magic, but was observing her, searching for any signs of a slumbering evil. Had she finally found something in Surina? Is that why she left?

Tilting her chin up, he forced her to look at him. “Tell me you don’t actually believe it.”

“It doesn’t matter what I believe.” The initial sting of tears settled in the brim of her eyes, and she blinked furiously through the blur, until they abated. “If I can do that as a mortal, then what will I do when I’m changed?” If she couldn’t control it now, there was no way she’d have a chance once she grew into her full power.

He stirred in his silence.

“I don’t know how to explain it, but when it took over…” That’s exactly what it was too—an it . A thing inside of her. Because she didn’t feel like herself. There was just this numbing surrender clouding out her mind, deadening her body to the unnatural well of energy that flooded in. “It wanted to steal —from the earth, from the winds. Anything my power could tether to, it wanted. I’m not sure how much longer I could have held on. If not for you, I would have killed someone, I know it.”

Maybe even killed herself.

Even now that thing lingered, brushing against her skull in wicked drags—waiting for the next opportune moment of escape. Her lungs heaved with the irregular kick of her heart. “I need—” Gods, she didn’t know what she needed as an overwhelming weight to her chest fought against each inhale. “I need air.”

Pivoting on her heels, Surina sped towards the bathing chambers, for the window that didn’t face the courtyard, stopping short of the threshold when the graveness of Ezra’s voice echoed from the walls.

“What if you could go somewhere else then?” The question rolled from his tongue with a strange reluctance.

She shook her head. “There’s nowhere else to go. I can’t run from everything .”

“I don’t mean somewhere to run. I mean somewhere to live —without dragons and curses. Where you don’t have to hide who you are.” He paused, awaiting the end of her slow turn. “Somewhere you never have to be afraid.”

Cinching the woolen blanket around her shoulders, Surina shifted anxiously on her toes. “And where would we go?”

“Not we— you .” Ezra took a step in her direction, completely silent as he studied her reaction to his next words. “The faerie realms,” he said, without so much as a blink.

An unbelievable laugh bubbled up from her throat, which evaporated in a matter of seconds as the joke that was sure to follow never actually did. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard—”

“You heard me fine.” His glare hardened.

She challenged his stare, still not convinced that he wasn’t messing with her, but the unyielding nature of his features never broke. “You’re serious,” she said, ending the heavy silence.

“I wish I wasn’t, but it’s true. There is a way into the faerie realms—into Avarynth.” Ezra’s fingers curled into fists at his sides with the usual stream of fog drifting off as they clenched and released. “Through invitation.”

“Invitation,” she repeated dryly, barely able to suppress the urge to cross her arms over her chest. “By whom?”

“The one who sealed us out a thousand years ago.”

Now he was taking it too far, and the scoff that slipped through her teeth was definitely warranted. “All I need to walk into the faerie realms is an invitation from the Divine of Creation? Sounds easy enough. Makes me wonder why no one for the past ten centuries thought of it.”

His nostrils flared, right alongside the glint of fire in his eyes. “What do you think the Awakening is for?”

“A way to welcome newly changed fae into immortality,” she returned.

“That’s the charade everyone thinks it to be, but that’s not why it was created. After the wards sealed us out, there were many deemed worthy of the faerie realms, and over the years, they were welcomed in. I have never seen anyone chosen during my reign, but I have no doubt that you would be.”

“So the King of Creation just so happens to be in the market for special fae to invite into his home?”

He shrugged, as if this were some conversation about the weather. “It’s well known that Seros favored some of his creations more than the others. I wouldn’t be surprised to find a Fairlight descendant among his favorites.”

“The divines don’t choose favorites.” That’s the entire reason the War of the Second Age lasted so long. There was no intervention on behalf of the divines—not until Eira’s death, that is. Eventually, Seros stepped in, creating the seraphim to alter the tides of battle.

It was his turn to scoff. “He may be a divine, but he is not without emotion. They feel just as much as you and I.”

“And you’re the only one who knows about this ceremony because …” That wasn’t to say she believed him, but Ezra was never one for nonsense.

“I’m not the only one. It’s a privilege both kings of Thesia are given. And select priestesses who take part in the ceremony of the Awakening.”

Like Moira, she guessed. Surina always wondered what point their presence served. Apart from the annual Solstice prayers to initiate the ceremony, they really just sat there— watching . If what he said was true, though, that meant they were looking for a hell of a lot more than just mastery over an affinity. They were looking for a being whose magic was notable enough to be given entrance to the divine’s city of Avarynth.

“So Cyril knew and was never going to tell me?” It wasn’t the secrecy that hurt the most, but the realization of why she was never trained to be a real heir. Because Cyril thought she had no future in Thesia.

Ezra peeled his eyes from her, looking everywhere but where she stood. “This goes beyond our power as kings. We didn’t tell you, not just because we’re entrusted to keep this knowledge a secret, but because you were never meant to have a choice. After your Awakening, if you’re deemed worthy, the priestesses will take you to the temple. From there, you would pass through the wards, where you would stay as long as the barrier remained.”

To be honest, he wasn’t exactly selling the faerie realms to her. Being forced into a foreign world against her will, with no way out, for an eternity. “What’s the point in telling me any of it if you’re just going to let them take me? Do I not get a say?”

He opened his mouth, a few moments passing before words finally came out. “It’s not a matter of taking you…” His brows pinched together, like he couldn’t figure her out. “I always assumed you would want to go. You realize there are no curses there? You would be free to live how you please. Every question you have about your magic, they would have the answers.”

She mulled over the idea of a curse-less land, one filled with fae and seraphim—how they were always meant to be. And she wouldn’t lie, the thought of seeing the beautiful, winged creatures outside of her dreams was enough to spur a bloom of excitement. But she couldn’t picture it. Not without another there beside her.

“Could you come with me?”

Stuck in her own head, she hadn’t noticed how close he’d gotten, until her hand was being lifted into his. “Only those worthy can pass through, and I was not deemed so during my own Awakening. You would go alone.”

She found it hard to believe that someone with Ezra’s caliber of magic wouldn’t be worthy of a place like Avarynth. He was certainly godlike in her eyes, and no doubt in others’ as well.

It wasn’t just Ezra she would leave behind, though, but her family and friends, too, and for what? A chance to see a seraphim in the flesh? A hope that they would have the answers to what was wrong with her? Being alone for an eternity was a hell of a lot scarier than any dragon or unknown she’d face here.

“I don’t want to go,” she said without a doubt.

“Surina, there may not be a choice.”

“Why wouldn’t there be? It’s not like Seros is going to walk out of the wards and drag me back.” She bit the inside of her cheek, hoping that wasn’t actually how it worked, because that sounded terrifying. “Besides, there has to be an answer to my magic somewhere else. Here , in our world. And until we know whether or not I’m some harbinger of evil, then—”

Ezra’s lips parted to interject, likely to counter the whole Myrah draug thing, but she held a hand up to stop him.

“Until we’re out of options, and we know there’s really no way to control my magic, then I choose to stay. I choose to be here, with you. If you even want me here.”

A nip of air slunk along her flesh, offering an eager response before his words. “There is nothing I want more than you by my side.”

She shuddered, a prickle of hairs shooting down her spine as his eyes scoured every inch of her face. “So it’s settled? I’m staying.”

He cracked a smile. “If that’s what you want,” he began, the cool glide of his hands at her hips reaching around, claiming her waist in the curl of his arm, “then I will do everything within my power to make it happen.”

It was a frosted oath against her lips, the barely there brush of his mouth making her chest flutter—a huge contrast to its earlier, wrathful beats.

That smile crumpled a little when his fingers ran over the grooves at her neck.

She drifted into his line of sight, catching his somber gaze. “You had to, Ezra. There was no other way.”

“I never would have done this if I thought there was.”

Stretching onto her toes, she cupped his cheek. “I know. I trust you with my life, and if I lose myself like I did last night, then I want you to do the same.”

“You trust me?”

“I do.” She snorted a laugh, a creeping flush traveling her body. “But I didn’t expect the bite to feel so…”

Lifting a brow, he waited with shortened breaths.

“Good,” she concluded. “Does it always feel like that?” Apart from the near-death experience beforehand, she’d been surprised by the sensation. Like a shockwave of lightning laced with pure, molten heat. It was ten times the potency of the first time he tasted her.

“It depends on who you share your blood with. Every bite is different, the same way all blood has a different taste, though yours is practically incomprehensible.”

“Well, you seem well rested. Is that normal after feeding?” If she knew Ezra, he probably hadn’t closed his eyes since last night—not that she could tell by looking at him.

A slow smile brought the corner of his mouth up. “It’s normal to feel invigorated afterwards, but to feel invincible? No, this is new.” He nudged her chin up, carefully exposing the punctures as the awe swept from his face. “People will stare,” he stated gruffly after thorough examination, the cool graze of his exhale making her eyes flutter.

Trailing a finger along the bumps, Ezra brought a whole new level of fire to her skin, despite the arctic touch.

“I don’t care.”

“I care, and I don’t want them thinking you’re some blood—” His sentence cut off there, a rumble of a growl trembling his chest, but she guessed where he was going.

Bloodwhore , is the word he was hiding from.

The corner of her mouth tried and failed to lift. “They already stare at the scar on my hand. This won’t be any different.”

His gaze steeled, as did the grip on her chin. “It’s entirely different.”

“If the bite bothers you that much, I’ll just cover it up.” She moved to prod the marks, determining whether or not they were low enough to wear a dress with a high neckline, but Ezra seized her hand.

“You shouldn’t have to hide it, nor do I want you to. Whether it was out of necessity or not, I’ve marked you, and I want them to know it. I just wish they would see it for what it is.”

That primal part of her fae blood ate up every bit of his territorial greed. “That I’m yours ?” she chided, recalling their conversation in the Gardens of Ephysia, where he warned her of the day he would make her his—in every way.

“Is that what you want? To be mine?” Brushing tendrils of gold from her shoulder, he twined his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck.

There was a lot she wanted. She wanted to be strong. To be safe and loved and free . But what she wanted most was right before her, and there was nothing— nothing —that would change that, she knew it in her heart. She wanted to be his, in every way that mattered. Through her blood, her soul, and her body. The same way she wanted all of him. Like the claim her magic held on the elements, she felt that need deep within her veins.

Next to him, Avarynth was a foggy existence.

“I want you, Ezra,” she whispered, bringing a palm to his chest to feel the thrum of his heart—always seeming to beat with her own.

That tease of his lips from earlier made her realize just how much she needed his mouth on hers, but that prayer didn’t last long as he completely consumed her in his kiss.

Everything melded into that kiss—his hair in her fingers, the rise and fall of his chest against hers, and even the irresistible lure he’d placed within her blood, which seemed to recognize the male who marked her. Claimed her. It all twisted together into an unparalleled knot in her heart, where something formed.

A promise.

She would do everything within her ability to learn the truth of her power, and to keep her magic under control. For him.

For them .