Spicy Sapphic Christmas

10. Jo

TEN

jo

“All right, what happened?” Jo asked when they got into the car to go home. Whatever was going on between Bunny and Bea—and Jo knew something was definitely going on—had left Bea bristling for the rest of the afternoon.

It was almost easy to quell her excitement as Bea’s icy quiet filled the car.

But the afternoon had gone well. Jo and Piper fed off each other’s energy and all their voices seemed to blend together really well once they got warmed up and onto practicing. They had only gotten through a few songs, and there was definite improvement to be made. But the excitement hummed like electricity beneath Jo’s skin.

“What do you mean?” Bea asked, keeping her attention on the road.

Jo knew her sister better than Bea often gave her credit.

“You haven’t had a sugar spell in months.”

“Years,” Bea muttered as she turned onto the highway, heading toward Jo’s.

“So what’s going on? Are you eating?” Jo stayed very still, afraid that she would scare her sister out of talking.

“Yes.” This time Bea looked over at Jo as she snapped out the word. Turning her attention back to the road, she continued, “I’m eating, Jo. I don’t need a watcher.”

“I know.” Jo leaned back into the seat in defeat. “But am I allowed to be a sister who cares?”

Bea let out a big huff.

Jo let it linger in the small space of the car.

“I’m sorry. It’s just a stressful week. I’ll keep a closer eye on my blood sugar.”

“So you won’t tell me why it happened today?” Jo didn’t mean to pout. She’d just never been good at hiding her feelings, or her energy. “We had a fantastic first rehearsal, and you act like everything went wrong. So please, can you tell me what else is going on?”

“I told you.” Bea’s snappiness told Jo more than Bea seemed willing to admit with words. The pain in her chest was acute, but Jo also knew pushing Bea had never worked in the past and she knew it wouldn’t work this time.

“Okay.” Jo didn’t bring it up again, and she spent the rest of the drive looking out the window as the city passed them.

“Are you going to see what Piper has to say about the first rehearsal? Did we meet… Bunny’s …standards?” Bea asked the third time Jo’s phone went off with a beep.

“She can wait. But if you’d like me to ask, I can.” Although Jo itched to pull her phone from her pocket and read the texts, she didn’t want to get Bea all prickly again. “Thanks for the ride home.”

“Jo.” Bea grabbed Jo’s hand. “I’m sorry I’m snippy. I guess it’s harder to work with other people than I realized. Makes me appreciate how well we work together.”

Jo knew that Bea was still resistant to this entire idea. She didn’t want to be there, but she’d agreed. And Bea wasn’t someone who backed down. “It’s going to be great.”

“Yeah.” Bea forced a smile, but Jo appreciated the effort, even if it looked more like a grimace. “It’ll be great for us.”

Jo barely held back rolling her eyes. She jumped out of her car. “See you tomorrow.”

With the front door of her apartment not yet closed, she pulled her phone from her pocket and opened it. What did Piper have to say about rehearsal? Had they royally fucked up and pissed off Bunny or were they making progress on that front?

The door closed with an ominous thud as Jo stared at the screen. For a full minute she stood, far more still than was natural for her, and simply stared at the name lighting up her screen.

It wasn’t Piper.

Why couldn’t it just be Piper?

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Jo walked to the tiny galley kitchen and pulled a drink from her fridge.

Sitting down on the worn couch, Jo finally opened the messages from her ex-girlfriend, Mandy. She really didn’t want to read them. But she was compelled to. Forced by obligation, curiosity, and self-hate.

Mandy : Hey stranger. I’ve been thinking about you. Remember when we went to Paris? I’ve still got our photo kissing under the Eiffel Tower stuck on my mirror. I miss you. Xoxo

Mandy : How are you? I heard you’ll be away all of Christmas. I was hoping to catch up. Maybe I can come see you where you are. I miss you so much. Have you missed me, too?

Mandy : I’m so sorry about what happened between us. I know we can talk this through and give it another try. We’re so good together, baby xo

By the time Jo read the messages a third time, her legs jiggled up and down and her fingers trembled so hard the words on the screen jumped. Throwing the phone onto the couch cushion beside her, she stood up and paced the length of the room. It wasn’t nearly big enough for her to work through any of the feelings that swirled like a dust storm inside of her.

She grabbed up her phone and quickly closed the messages.

Her finger hovered over Bea’s name, but she hesitated. Bea was hiding things, things that had her in her own tailspin. The fainting gave that away, and her energy on the way home cemented it. Jo couldn’t put this stress and drama onto her as well.

She paced, back and forth, back and forth, her mind racing.

She knew who she wanted to contact—Piper.

But was that really fair?

As it was, her own feelings for Piper were just one of the many feelings caught up in the dust storm.

But they weren’t together. Sure, Piper’s kisses had made Jo’s head dizzy and her body reacted faster than it ever had. But they were friends, and neither of them had said anything about commitment or even going further than a grope here and there. It had simply been an experiment anyway. Piper had bragged about a technique, and Jo wanted to know what it was.

Well, it was amazing. That’s what.

Jo wasn’t even sure she wanted to get involved with Piper that way, did she?

“Ugh!” Jo screamed up at the ceiling, stopping her pacing only because she knew she’d trip and break something if she didn’t. “God damn it.”

Before she could talk herself out of it, Jo hit the call button on Piper’s number.

“Hey, long time no hear.” Piper’s energy filled Jo’s chest, and the emotions she’d been holding back burst free.

“Hey,” Jo sobbed out.

“Oh my God. What happened?” Worry filled Piper’s voice.

“I…” But she didn’t even know how to say it. How to start with the whole entire mess that three stupid text messages had created.

“Text me your address, and I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

Jo spluttered out some sounds that didn’t even remotely resemble words.

“Jo?” Piper’s soft voice calmed her enough to find words.

“Are you sure?” Jo hated this. She should have just called Bea. Bea would understand everything, and she wouldn’t have to explain it all from the beginning. She wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of her past relationship.

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Piper’s voice. “Now text me your address, and I’ll be there soon. Okay?”

“Okay.” Jo smiled though she sniffled, and the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Good. I’ll see you soon. Wait. Do I need to stay on the phone with you while I get there?”

Jo shook her head before she spoke. She didn’t need to be more embarrassed than she already was. “No, I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Okay. I’m trusting you on that.”

“See you soon.” Jo hung up as soon as she could. Her tears slowed as she typed her address in a text to Piper.

Once she heard the whoosh that let her know the message had been sent, panic washed over her in a different way.

What the hell was she doing?

She should have just messaged Bea, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it. She paced her small apartment, unable to settle the energy that seemed to be erupting from her every few seconds. It wasn’t long before Piper arrived. And Jo couldn’t deny how her heart beat a little faster when she opened the door to Piper with a box of donuts from Zena’s and a bag hanging from her wrist. A bag that looked suspiciously like it carried ice cream and alcohol.

“I’m sorry,” Jo said immediately.

“Never be sorry for giving me an excuse to enjoy great company and naughty food.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be the best company.”

“You don’t have to be,” Piper said as she followed Jo inside. “I have donuts, ice cream, and non-alcoholic beer.”

“Non-alcoholic?” Jo raised her eyes.

“It sounded like actual alcohol might have a negative effect, and friends don’t let friends text drunk.”

Jo laughed and nodded as she sat back down on her couch. Piper placed the items on the table in front of them. The table that was actually an old bookshelf lying face down on the floor.

“So, is it a you need to talk about it, not talk about it, or vent and let off steam kind of thing?”

Jo still couldn’t find the words, so instead she picked up her phone, opened it to the texts and handed it over to Piper. Jo’s legs bounced up and down, her fingers picked at her nails, and her teeth gnawed her bottom lip while she waited for Piper to say something. How long did it take to read three small messages? What could Piper be pondering that took this much time before she responded?

“Mandy? Isn’t she the one who ran off with that one-hit wonder from Chicago?” Piper asked as she gently placed the phone between the box of donuts and the plastic bag of goodies on the bookshelf–turned–coffee table.

“That would be the one.” Jo’s laugh came out in a more hysterical tone than she felt comfortable with.

“Well, I guess the first question…” Piper leaned forward, flipped open the box of donuts and asked, “Is it donuts first or ice cream? If it’s donuts, we better put the ice cream in your freezer.”

Jo laughed, and she threw her head back. When she brought her head forward again, she noticed Piper sticking the tip of her pink tongue out and gliding it over her lips as though she hadn’t had a drink in years. Had Piper been staring at her neck?

Jo’s cheeks heated at the very idea.

Piper was gorgeous, no doubt about it, but they had only been having some fun. A little Christmas fling while they dove into the thing they both loved. Which, in this case, was singing.

“I’m half tempted to put the ice cream on top of the donut just to get the full effect.” Jo jumped up, relieved to have something to do with her hands. Instead of sitting down after opening the donuts and handing Piper a drink without meeting her eyes, Jo grabbed the ice cream and walked away from the couch. “I’ll pop this in the freezer for later.”

“I mean, we could stack it. It sounds interesting.” Piper’s voice was soft and a little raspy. Jo turned to her. When their eyes met, the dust storm of confusion in Jo’s head whipped itself up into another frenzy.

“Just be a second.” With her head inside the freezer, Jo decided to keep that last detail to herself. And she did indeed follow the tub of ice cream into the almost empty top freezer.

By the time she came back out to her living room, Piper was sitting with her back against the arm of the couch, her knees bent, and her now bare feet tapping out a rhythm on the couch cushion.

Jo took the time unnoticed to really look at Piper. It was obvious to just about anyone with a pulse that Piper was stunning. Her lankiness just seemed to add to her charm, especially when she danced. She had reminded Jo of Danny Kaye the first time they’d danced together.

“Ice cream has been rescued just in the nick of time.” Jo forced herself to step out of the kitchen and back into the living room.

“Excellent. Nothing is worse than comfort ice cream turning into soup. Though I think I want to try the ice cream on the donut thing at some point.”

“Agreed,” Jo said as she took the other end of the couch and mirrored Piper’s position. “Also, I’m crazy, aren’t I? For even letting these stupid texts get to me.”

Piper leaned to her side and reached for a donut, picking a chocolate covered mousse filled variety. Jo’s favorite as well. “I think that depends.”

“On what?” Jo leaned over and picked up a plain glazed one for herself.

“On whether you want to get back together with Mandy.” As soon as Piper had spoken, she took a big mouthful of the donut. Mousse spurted out the sides and landed on Piper’s chest. “Oh shit,” Piper mumbled around her full mouth.

Jo laughed and squirmed a little more into the couch, though she asked. “Do you need some help? Tissues or something?”

“Nope.” Piper’s grin made Jo’s stomach tighten. All right, it was a considerable distance lower than her stomach. “I’ve got it.”

Jo gulped and swallowed audibly when Piper used two fingers to scoop up the first and then the second splat of whipped mousse.

Putting both fingers in her mouth, Piper looked up to see Jo staring. Her eyes widened, and she pulled her fingers out quickly.

“Sorry, I’m a slob. But can’t waste the mousse. It’s the best part.” Piper’s cheeks pinked as her words filled Jo’s home. Jo laughed, and Piper shook her head, laughing along. “You’re a bad influence.”

“I know. I know.”

For a while, they sipped their drinks and ate their donuts in a silence Jo had never known before. It wasn’t awkward or tense. It just was.

“So, do you?”

“What?” Jo looked up at Piper’s question. Had she missed something? Had the silence only been in her head?

“Mandy.” Piper smiled, but it wasn’t the same infectious smile Jo had gotten to know. “Do you want to get back together with Mandy?”

“No.” The word came too quickly, and Jo groaned. “I don’t know. She’s not wrong. We weren’t just good together. We were amazing together.”

“Maybe that’s the first thing you need to work out.” Piper’s sad smile still rested on her face, and Jo wanted to have her Piper back. The one who understood her more than anyone else had before.

But she wasn’t Jo’s Piper. And honestly, Jo didn’t know if she wanted her to be. Even if she did have a chance with her, which of course she didn’t because she was Piper, of the freaking Bunny and Piper. The Piper.

Jo blew out a heavy breath.

If Bea found out about the texts, she would go insane. She hadn’t liked Mandy even before she had hurt Jo.

“Want to watch something with me while I pretend I’m not having a slight meltdown over here?” Jo looked up at Piper.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”

Friends , right. The word lodged itself in Jo’s throat.

“I don’t have many friends,” Jo confessed as easily as she had with everything else that had come up in discussion with Piper.

Sure, they had made out, but Jo was just confusing a friendship for something more. She needed to have a serious conversation with her libido, because this kind of reaction wasn’t the one she should be having over a friend wrapping her lips around the neck of a non-alcoholic beer bottle and taking a deep drink of the amber liquid inside.

“Thanks for coming over.” Jo’s voice came out raspier than she would have liked.

“You’re welcome.” Piper looked up, her regular smile back in place.

“Now, what crap can we watch and mock?”

Piper laughed and wrapped those lips around that bottle again.

Yep, Jo definitely needed to give her libido a stern talking to. Thank God Piper had brought non-alcoholic beer.