Spicy Sapphic Christmas

21. Bea

TWENTY-ONE

bea

Bea’s heart hammered a little too hard as she opened her eyes and failed to recognize the clean uncracked ceiling above her. Memories floated back in slowly, and the smile spread like molasses over her lips. Thick and slow. Bunny had brought her home.

No, she definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Or her shitty little apartment either.

Now that she knew where she was, Bea’s body felt more rested than it had in months. More months than she cared to admit. She had slept so soundly after last night’s activities. The soft bed beneath her didn’t make it such a hard wake-up either. Though actually getting out of the bed might prove another hurdle. Especially with the weight of Bunny’s arm stretched over her stomach.

How had she missed that earlier? Smiling, Bea shifted a little closer to Bunny’s heat that radiated from beside her.

Beneath the crisp linen, the scent of arousal washed over her. She burrowed herself a little deeper into the warmth and the scent memory. The soft material brushed along her naked skin, and idly she wondered where her clothes might be. She hardly remembered taking them off. Then she remembered she hadn’t been the one throwing them across the room. Bunny had been ravenous, and Bea had been more than willing to comply.

“Didn’t you get enough wiggling around last night?” Bunny’s husky, sleep-riddled voice was half muffled as her breath brushed across Bea’s shoulder.

The hint of frustration at the wake-up was underscored by the hint of a challenge. A challenge that sent Bea’s body into high gear. Bea would have been more than happy to take Bunny up on that challenge immediately if her bladder wasn’t screaming at her.

“Hold that thought.” It turned out to be quite easy to get out of the bed once the hope of a replay of last night’s events was on the cards.

Washing her hands and looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror made Bea pause for a moment, even as her body ached to be touched again. No, not just touched, touched by Bunny. Damn it, she looked happy, genuinely happy. Something hard rested behind her ribs, and she rubbed at her chest.

“How long am I supposed to be holding onto this thought?” Bunny’s voice called through the bathroom door.

Bea smiled and nodded. Orgasms had a tendency to make her look happy, she reasoned as she stepped back into Bunny’s bedroom from the attached bathroom.

A master bathroom.

Bea had been excited when she’d found an apartment she could afford without sharing with Jo, even though it was a studio and everyone could see everything at once. Bunny was living in luxury already. Bea smiled seeing Bunny stretched out on the bed, covers now kicked off, lying in disarray on the floor at the foot of the bed.

“So what thought was I holding on to?” Bunny yawned behind one hand while the other beckoned Bea toward her.

Bea moved slowly, enjoying the sudden stillness in Bunny’s chest, as she held her breath and watched Bea’s swaying hips draw closer.

“I believe the thought had something to do with wiggling.”

“Wiggling?” Bunny gave a cocky grin as she lifted up on her elbows to see more of Bea as she stepped up to Bunny’s side of the bed.

Bunny lay back, one hand behind her head while the fingers of the other reached out and brushed against Bea’s naked hip. The touch was firm but soft, just the way Bea liked it, making her suck in a breath, quickly checking in with her body.

She wanted it, that wasn’t the issue, but she hadn’t had so many orgasms in one night in a very long time. Perhaps ever. And checking in was never a bad idea as things usually went. Her body was good. Her mind however was another thing, and now wasn’t the time to worry about that.

“Oh yes.” Bea crawled onto the bed on her knees, shuffling to straddle Bunny’s hips. “It was definitely about wiggling.”

“And you think this is how it’s going to play out this morning?” Bunny’s hips rose, causing Bea to let out a small squeal that filled the luxurious room with laughter.

She stilled and blinked down at Bunny. Bunny’s eyes met her own, and she blinked back. Did she realize how very strange that noise had sounded, even to Bea’s own ears?

Bea shook her head and her thoughts. There was only one thing she would think about right now.

And that was wiggling.

“You mean…” Bea slowly moved in a circle over Bunny’s crotch. Bea was already wet, or maybe still wet from last night, which was more likely earlier this morning. Either way the feeling sent a bolt of electricity through her body, a flood of new arousal rushing through her. “…this isn’t the kind of wiggling you’d like me to do?”

“Hmmm.” Bunny’s growl was paired with gripping Bea’s hips and pulling her down hard.

“Is that a yes to the wiggling?” Bea laughed.

“Mm-hmm.” Bunny’s voice remained husky as her breath grew louder and faster.

Bea leaned forward and took one of Bunny’s already hard nipples in her mouth. Alternating between biting and sucking, Bea maintained a steady rhythm of her hips against Bunny’s.

“Bea.” It wasn’t a demand but a plea, and only then did Bea give in to Bunny’s grip. She told herself it wasn’t the begging in Bunny’s voice, but her own need for release.

She didn’t believe the lie.

“Oh fuck.” Bea panted as she pushed herself back up, hands gripping onto Bunny’s, which continued to dig into her hips.

“Lift up.” The demand in Bunny’s voice was back, but this time that wasn’t what bothered Bea.

“What?” Bea couldn’t have heard that right. She needed more friction against Bunny, not less.

“Just a little.” Bunny laughed as she slid a hand out from beneath Bea’s grip.

“Oh,” Bea said, the word breathy with understanding as soon as Bunny’s fingers brushed against her stomach. She lifted up, letting her knees take her weight as Bunny’s hand slipped between them.

“I want to be inside you.” Bunny struggled to form the sentence.

“Yes,” Bea answered immediately.

Bunny pushed two fingers inside with little resistance. But the sensation pulled a groan out of Bea, and she eased herself back down until the heel of Bunny’s palm was against her clit.

“How about that wiggling now, Bea?” Bunny’s voice was filled with all the right kinds of mischievous intentions.

Bunny and Bea locked eyes. Bunny’s shit-eating grin grew with each groan and pant she pulled from Bea. Her hips pushed up in unison with movement of her palm. The extra pressure pushed Bunny’s fingers deeper, pulling pleasure from places Bea didn’t even know existed.

Bea’s legs shuddered against Bunny’s hips, sweat beading down her back as she rocked harder and harder against Bunny’s fingers.

“Come for me,” Bunny demanded, and Bea couldn’t fathom arguing as her body tensed and that delicious coil unfurled inside of her.

With a scream of curses and guttural grunts, Bea’s orgasm washed over her. After another moment of tight muscles, she uncoiled and collapsed on top of Bunny. Panting heavily on Bunny’s chest and trying to catch her breath, Bea closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of Bunny’s sweat and their combined arousal. While Bunny’s fingers were still inside her, Bunny’s other hand caressed Bea’s hip, running over the side of her body in a gentle lover’s touch.

No. This wasn’t love. This couldn’t be love. This was Bunny. A brilliant fuck, but no. She couldn’t have actual feelings for her. Could she? What a ridiculous notion.

“Are you good?” Bea asked once the power of speech returned and to distract her from her terrifying train of thought.

“Oh, I’m always good watching a woman come apart when I fuck her.”

“Oh.” Bea slapped herself for having even let that previous thought enter her mind. She’d been right—this wasn’t love. It couldn’t ever be that. “But would you like more?”

“I’m good.” Bunny gently eased her hand out from between the two of them.

Bea rolled over and stared back up at the uncracked ceiling. She’d never been more grateful for her ability to keep her thoughts inside her head, even after mind-blowing sex.

Without any other words, Bunny pulled the sheet up from the end of the bed and laid it over her own and Bea’s hips, keeping their breasts open to the cool air. It danced over Bea’s overheated skin and sent goosebumps across her skin.

“I had a chat with Jo the other day.” Bunny interrupted the awkward silence, surprising Bea.

“What about?” Bea’s hackles rose instantly. She bit back any more words and tried to push aside instinctual worries about Jo. She knew she had to stop being the protective big sister, but she’d never really managed that. Even if they were only eleven months apart, she took her role as big sister seriously.

“She hasn’t talked to you about it?” Bunny shifted, looking at Bea directly.

“No.” Bea pulled the sheet over her chest as she turned on to her side, using one elbow to prop her head up.

“No big deal.” Bunny shrugged.

“Is it about Mandy?” Bea’s panic grew.

“No.” Bunny’s eyebrows pulled together as she turned her head to look at Bea again, sincerity in every line in her face. Despite being unbalanced, Bea eased a little just knowing Mandy wasn’t causing drama yet.

“So what did you two talk about?” Bea asked and the idea that she deserved an explanation rubbed something raw and uncomfortable inside of her. If it were business stuff, of course she had a right to know. But why hadn’t she been involved to begin with?

But this was Jo, of course she had a right to know. The small voice in the back of her head telling her she knew that wasn’t where her demand had originated was easy enough to ignore, for now.

“I’ve decided to change the lyrics to Baby, It’s Cold Outside, so it can be explicitly queer, like you suggested.”

“Really?” Bea pushed herself up to sitting with more energy and excitement than she had thought possible just moments ago.

“Yeah.” Bunny’s lips pulled up to one side in that sexy, cocky smile Bea loved. But something in her eyes pulled Bea’s excitement down and the cynic within her rose.

“Why do I get the feeling there’s something else in there?” Bea asked as she sat, feeling more exposed with the sheet pressed over her chest than she had been sleeping naked and wrapped up around Bunny all evening.

“I think you and Piper will be better suited to sing the song,” Bunny stated simply as though telling Bea it was cold outside, in the middle of winter.

“What?” A twist of nausea in Bea’s stomach caught her off guard. “But our voices work amazingly together.”

“Look.” Bunny sat up, not bothering to cover her own perfect curves with the sheet or blanket. “Your voices will work just as well together, and you’re both better suited to the message of the song.”

“The message ?” Bea’s body coiled with an entirely different tension than it had only moments earlier. The way Bunny had spat out that word had carried a weight of disgust with it.

Yep, staying over had definitely been the wrong idea, despite the morning orgasm.

“Piper’s been bugging me to come out for years, but I haven’t wanted to. Now she can get what she wants, and I don’t have to be involved.” Bunny raked her fingers through her hair, snagging on the tangles that she gave a half-hearted attempt to release before giving up.

“No one should ever need permission to come out. Jesus, Bunny. Besides, you’re involved with the entire show, whether we do the duet or not.” Bea’s chest heated with frustration and anger.

A hard silence filled the room, no longer awkward but angry.

“What are we doing?” Bea’s voice still carried a hard edge, but she had managed to pull it back from screaming. Just.

“Having fun while we work together on this event.” Bunny shrugged.

“Of course.” Bea scoffed. “I didn’t realize you were such a coward. That you’re so scared that singing with me in front of an audience would somehow out you to the entire fucking world.”

“This isn’t a relationship, Bea. It’s called fucking for a reason.” Bunny’s cheeks reddened as they hollowed in anger. Bea had seen this look on her before, and she knew exactly where they were headed.

“Not all relationships mean marriage, kids, and a house with a dog.” Bea rolled her eyes, trying to keep her disappointment at a tenable level. “If you bothered to see things from anyone’s point of view but your own, you might even notice things like friendship.”

“Look, singing with Piper will get you just as much publicity as singing with me. We’re bandmates, so our name recognition works together. So you don’t need to get all bent out of shape over this.”

“Bent out of shape?” Bea laughed, the sound cold and hard as it bounced around the room.

She looked closer at the room around her. It had seemed so luxurious to her last night. A sign of having made it, a sign of things she could strive for, things she was on the right path to achieve. But now she saw it for what it really was. All the bland colors and the lifelessness seeped into every area.

There were no personal touches, no personality in the white fluffy bed. She even turned to the headboard as though expecting to see all the notches Bunny had carved into it from all of her fuck-’em-and-leave-’em conquests. But of course not. The headboard was smooth and clean, with no hints of the women she hid as neatly as she hid herself.

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize you’re just a closeted coward.” Bea ran her hand through her tangled locks and shook her head. “If you think for one second that I am doing any of this for the publicity of riding on your or Piper’s coat tails, you know me even less than I thought.”

Bea forced herself out of the bed, leaving the sheet, the scent, and the memories behind.

Bunny’s gaze roamed over her body. Bea felt the look graze her with each movement she made. She cringed internally as she searched the floor for her clothes, pulling them roughly over her sensitive skin. With effort, she managed to refrain from hissing aloud when her shirt brushed over her still erect nipples.

“If this is more than worrying about what publicity your little band’s going to get, why’re you getting so upset about it?” Bunny asked from the bed.

For a moment, words she knew she couldn’t say dared to touch her tongue.

Because I’m drawn to you like no one I’ve ever known before.

Because you being a closeted coward is the thing stopping me from letting you in.

Because the last thing I want is to be in love with someone like you.

“Good question, Bunny.” Bea opened the door and took another look around the room. What the hell was she doing? “Why am I so upset?”

She didn’t bother closing the bedroom door behind her. Let Bunny watch her walk away. Let Bunny figure out why she was so ticked off in the moment. While the temptation to slam the front door reared its head, the pounding of her blood in her ears was already too loud for her to handle. Bea shut the door and closed her eyes.

Why did being free from that feel so shitty?