Spicy Sapphic Christmas

30. Bea

THIRTY

bea

“You know, I don’t really think that you fit the right category to be singing at the IBT Club.”

Bea jerked with a start and spun around, finding Bunny leaning against the doorway of the dressing room with a cocky smirk on her lips that was so damn sexy.

“What?”

“Your tits are not small, my friend,” Bunny said, her lips quirking up into a smile. “That’s my form of a compliment.”

“Uh… thanks?” Bea clenched her jaw and turned back to the mirror to futz with her makeup a little more. She’d already done her warm-up and was just waiting for the green light to head out onto the stage. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you.” Bunny stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

“To yell at me again?” Bea pursed her lips and glared at Bunny through the mirror. She wasn’t going to just stand there and be berated again.

“No.” Bunny sighed heavily, keeping her distance and shoving her hands in the pockets of her loose jeans. “To apologize, actually.”

“Apologize?” Bea spun around, her lipstick in her hand. She stared wide-eyed, taking in Bunny’s form. Her shoulders were drawn, her gaze downcast, and her cheeks sullen. Wow. Bunny really was going to apologize, wasn’t she?

“I don’t even have the words to describe how awful my behavior’s been lately.”

“Try.” Bea pushed. She wanted a proper apology. She wanted something that was meaningful and was going to make a difference.

Bunny raised her gaze, her lips parted slightly, and she shook her head. “I’ve been an asshole, a jerk, a buffoon, off my rocker, short-fused, and unable to listen to anyone but my own damn fear.”

Bea plopped her butt onto the edge of the counter as the weight of everything hit her at once. Bunny really did mean this. Those weren’t just words that she was saying, but they were actually meaningful words that carried a weight she wasn’t sure what to do with.

“I’m afraid of a lot of things, Bea, and I let my fear get in the way of our working relationship.”

So not their personal one? Bea paused on that, unsure if she was ready to say anything or if Bunny needed to continue to explain.

“I pushed you away at every turn, and I didn’t give you the credit you deserve. I clawed for control of the concert because I saw it slipping from my fingers faster than I could breathe.” Bunny rolled up on her toes and then landed heavily on her heels. “And I was wrong.”

“Explain.” Bea crossed her arms. She wasn’t going to give Bunny a break on this one. She deserved the hell that she was about to put herself through.

“That I was wrong?” Bunny squinted. “Well, I was wrong.”

“Yeah, but how?” Bea clenched her jaw tightly.

“In a lot of ways.” Bunny stayed put.

She didn’t move closer to Bea, which Bea was grateful for, but at the same time, she wanted something other than this stiff person standing in front of her like she was reading from a script.

“I was wrong to not collaborate. I was wrong to yell at you, so many times over. I was wrong to flip out and not trust. You were right. The world is changing. I can’t look at Jo and Piper and the blowup that is their insane fake engagement—I hope you know it’s fake, right?” At Bea’s nod, Bunny continued, “I can’t look at that and not see the positive that’s coming from it.”

“And the negative?”

“Fuck them,” Bunny spat the words out harshly. “They don’t deserve my time and effort and thoughts.”

Bea pursed her lips, cocking her head to the side. “This is a sudden change from you.”

Bunny shrugged, rolling up on her toes again. Was she nervous being here? Was she worried about what Bea’s response would be?

“I think it’s been a long time coming, and I can’t deny Piper’s happiness.”

“But the engagement is fake. The proposal was a sham.” Bea shook her head. “So what happiness are you talking about?”

Bunny’s lips quirked up slightly. “I don’t think it’s as fake as they want us to believe or as they might want to believe.”

Bea hummed lightly, but she didn’t give Bunny any other indication that she agreed. She gripped onto the edge of the counter and raised her eyebrows. “Why are you here? Really and truly.”

“To apologize. That’s it.” Bunny put her hands out to her sides, palms up. “I promise.”

“What’s your angle? Want me to come back?”

“I think everyone wants that,” Bunny replied. “But I’m not going to try and convince you one way or another. That has to be a decision you make on your own. But you’re welcome to join us again if you want to.”

“I think I’ll pass on that one.” Bea stood up and turned around, looking in the mirror again. She double checked her makeup and hair, even though she knew it was already perfect. She wasn’t someone who was ever unprepared.

“Like I said, it’s your choice. I wouldn’t exactly want to work with me again either. And I’m sorry that I made that experience such an awful one for you.”

Bea turned at that, flicking her gaze from Bunny’s eyes to her lips and back again. She hadn’t expected the apology to continue.

“And I did make it a bad experience, somewhat on purpose, and somewhat unconsciously. I didn’t want to work with you.” Bunny’s hands were back in her pockets, her fingers fisted tightly to form balls. “I didn’t want anyone to be able to see through the facade that we were trying to project, and I was worried that if you and I sang together on a stage—just you and me, to be clear—that the entire world would be able to see.”

“See what?” Bea furrowed her brow in confusion.

“That I’m a lesbian.”

Bea wanted to applaud Bunny for saying that word out loud. It might not be her first time, but it felt damn monumental for sure. Her breath caught in her throat, and Bunny’s lips pulled upward into a slight smile. The first one that she’d given all night.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Why are you so scared of it?”

Bunny sighed heavily. “It’s more than just my career, and I’ve never even told Piper this. Though she might have guessed it at some point.” Bunny looked around the room, as if searching for someone who was going to burst in and interrupt them. “My mom was gay, and her parents were not happy about it. She jumped into a marriage with a man to get out of their house and got pregnant with me. When I was two, my sperm donor threw my mom into a wall and shattered her face. We escaped and moved here. My mom never dated anyone else after that, but there was always this shroud of fear surrounding my life. Not just from being gay but from my sperm donor and my grandparents, and whether or not they would take me away from her.”

“Bunny…” Bea’s heart clenched with only a small amount of the pain that Bunny must feel.

“My mom died when I was nineteen. I’m pretty sure she just waited until I was adult enough to survive on my own And I had Piper and her family too. They saved me so much during those early years. And then there was Claire.”

“Who’s Claire?”

“Piper’s sister-in-law, and the woman I thought I would never get over.” Bunny frowned. “I fucked that up too. If it wasn’t for Piper, then I wouldn’t be here today.”

“So let me get this straight, you’re afraid of being out because you’re scared your past will get dredged up?” Bea tried to follow the thread that Bunny was weaving.

“Not quite.” Bunny stepped closer, her voice softening. “For a long time I was afraid my grandparents would come find me and try to dupe me into caring about them. Then I was afraid of facing the hate that my mom faced. But I can’t quite pinpoint exactly what I’m afraid of now.” Bunny stopped right in front of Bea, looking deeply into her eyes. “Other than I’m afraid I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.”

The knock on the door was swift. “Bea, you’re up!”

“Right. I’ll be there in a minute.” Bea glanced over Bunny’s shoulder at the young man who had no clue how tense the conversation in the room was.

“You should go,” Bunny said as she started to move away.

Bea snagged Bunny’s arm, holding her in place. She held her breath for a second before listing forward as if they were going to kiss. Pulling back was hard, but she had to remind herself of all the drama that Bunny had caused in the last few weeks. It was reprehensible. “Thank you for explaining, and apologizing. I appreciate it.”

“What are we going to do about Piper and Jo?”

“Nothing,” Bea answered. “We’re going to do nothing.”

Bunny winced. “Don’t you think we should help—”

“No. I think they need to learn to live without us barging in on their lives.” Bea’s heart thrummed as her gaze dropped to Bunny’s lips again. “Are you staying for the show?”

“Might as well. Had to pay twenty-bucks to get in here.” Bunny wrinkled her nose and broke Bea’s hold on her wrist, finally stepping away and ending the physical connection. “Besides, I hear they have a hot lesbian headliner tonight, and I thought I’d see if she’s my type or not.”

“And what’s your type?” Bea had no clue why she was asking that question. She should have quit while she was ahead. She should have told Bunny to walk out and not stay, leave for the night and forget they’d ever had this conversation. That would be the best way to protect her heart.

Bunny put her hand on the doorknob and tossed a look over her shoulder, one that was nothing but pure desire. “Icy, with big beautiful tits.”

Bea laughed as Bunny walked out.

With only seconds before she had to get on stage, Bea left the room, and as many of the emotions as she could, behind her. The lights were bright as she moved onto the wooden stage. Her setup was simple because she’d been such a last-minute addition to the night. She picked up the microphone, welcomed the crowd, and started in on the first song.

Blocking the memory of her and Bunny in that small room together was next to impossible. Bea had almost kissed her. Worse than that, she had wanted to kiss Bunny more than once. She’d wanted to seal the apology with an embrace, truly let Bunny know that she was forgiven for all the awful things she had said and done.

But she wasn’t ready to walk back into that snake pit.

She couldn’t put herself into the line of fire again, and Bunny really had to prove that she’d changed. It needed to be far more than lip service for Bea to want to be in the same room with her longer than a few minutes.

The third song started when she finally found Bunny on the floor. She had a bottle of beer between her fingers and a smirk on her lips. Fuck, Bea wanted to wipe that smirk from her face again. Bunny moved closer to the stage, sliding through the throng of people so that Bea could more easily see her face in the edges of the stage lights.

Someone gasped.

By the time Bea finished the third song on her setlist, the crowd was cheering. But they weren’t screaming for her, they were chanting Bunny’s name. Bunny worked hard to ignore them, drinking her beer and not turning around to face the crowd.

There was no way she was going to be able to ignore the fact that Bunny was here, because the crowd simply wouldn’t let her. Bea locked her eyes on Bunny’s face, speaking into the microphone. “I see we have a VIP in the house tonight.”

Bunny scowled, and a sick sense of amusement ran through Bea’s chest into the pit of her stomach. Payback was a bitch, and Bea was going to have some fun while she had the power in the room. She could make Bunny do pretty much anything right now, couldn’t she?

“Bunny, from the band Bunny and Piper, is here for the show, you all. Give her a huge round of applause.” Bea laughed while shaking her head. “Most of you know that my baby sister and Piper have gotten closer in the last month. So Bunny and I are trying to get to know each other better, since we’ll be in each other’s lives for the next while.”

The people went wild, having Bea finally acknowledge Bunny’s presence.

“Why don’t you get me a beer, love, and then you can come up here with me,” Bea said the words straight into the microphone as she stared at Bunny, wanting to see exactly what her reaction was going to be.

Bunny’s shoulders tightened sharply, and another thrill ran through Bea. This was a small crowd, but even she knew one person could take things and run wildly with the information. The fake engagement had shown that enough, so Bea left her comment purposely vague, to allow for whatever might happen in the future. No matter what, with as much press that had gone out about the engagement, they were going to have to issue a statement about what was going on. Bunny didn’t have to move as another beer was set into her hand by a waiter.

Bea’s lips bowed gently as she beckoned Bunny on the stage with a wave of her fingers. “Oh, perfect, love. Why don’t you come up here and give it to me?”

Bunny scowled, but she did as she was told, climbing onto the stage to stand next to Bea. As Bunny handed the drink over, she whispered into Bea’s ear, “I hope you have a damn good plan for this.”

“Sometimes the best plan is no plan at all.” Bea winked as she took the beer and a slow sip, completely entranced with the way Bunny’s eyes trailed all over her, following the line of her neck as she tilted her head back, the swipe of her tongue across her lips as she chased the drops of beer. “Ready?”

“For what exactly?”

Bea didn’t answer. She turned back to the crowd. “What you might not know is that our two bands have been in some intense rehearsals for a Christmas event coming up for the Holbrook Foundation. You’ll get to see Bunny, Piper, and Jo there if you want to support a fantastic cause of helping single mothers. The concert is on Christmas Eve, and you can buy tickets online.”

“Bea…” Bunny muttered loud enough for Bea to hear.

Again, Bea ignored her. “Can we get another microphone up here? Because I think you all want to hear Bunny at her finest. Unrehearsed and on the spot. I’ll tell you that it was a pleasure to find out she is as human as the rest of us.”

“Devilish woman.” Bunny chugged the rest of her beer and waved to the waiter for another one. When the microphone was handed to her, she held it up to her lips. “What are we singing, Bea?”

“We?” The thrill that had only been slight became a wave that knocked her over.

“Bea and I did some tinkering with a quite popular Christmas song, and I think we might be able to manage it, just the two of us.” Bunny turned to the band and bowed to them. “Not that I don’t think you all can keep up, but this song was made for voices.”

“What are you doing?” Bea said, moving the microphone away from her lips.

“What do you say? Sing a duet with me?” Bunny held out her hand.

Bea paused, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the anger and fear to pull up and rear its ugly head again, but it didn’t. Sliding her fingers into Bunny’s hand, she laced them together.

“Give me a G, would you?” Bea said.

The guitarist plucked the note. Bea shook her head, not taking her eyes from Bunny’s. She was going all in on this one. Humming slightly, she waited for Bunny to join her in matching the note and nodding.

Here we go, Bea thought. She smiled and turned back toward the audience, leaving her hand firmly in Bunny’s. The words fell off her tongue, floating through the air and the crowd. They hit her hard, and she squeezed Bunny’s hand tightly.

“I really can’t stay…”