Spite Crush (Rock Hard #2)

Chapter Eleven

~Kellen~

“So now we have to keep another one of Kellen’s secrets?” Ford asked coldly. “He’s a God damned basket case and now he’s fucking the hockey player? Fantastic.”

We were sitting in the green room of the arena and Craig had just advised the band on what the party line was going to be regarding my meeting with Zak the night before.

He figured if the press had photos of me there, they probably had pictures of Tim and Ford as well, since they’d come along with me. And he wanted to be sure that we all had the same statement if anyone should ask.

That we were all there to clear the air and call a truce with Zak Dempsey.

“You know, Kellen,” Ford said, glaring at me. “If you’re trying to destroy everything we’ve worked for, why don’t you just come out and say that? Because this is getting exhausting. ”

“You know what’s exhausting?” I shot back, my heart beating so hard and fast in my chest I was having a hard time even catching my breath. “Carrying this whole band on my back in the first place.”

“Okay, let’s just stop,” Craig said, getting to his feet and moving to physically stand between me and the guys.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want Princess Charming to fall into yet another panic attack before yet another show,” Ford snapped .

It was interesting that neither the drummer nor the bassist had bothered to argue about the fact that I was the backbone of the band. Not that they really could have. I write the music and the lyrics for every single song. I compile the albums and I was without a doubt the face of the band. I could do all of this without them, but they’d have nothing without me.

Which was something to think about. Later. When I wasn’t definitely on the verge of the panic attack Ford was accusing me of having .

“Kellen,” Craig said softly. “Why don’t you go down to the locker room and cool off for a few minutes.”

I wasn’t sure if he could see that I was getting agitated, or if he was just used to me melting down, but I appreciated that he was the one to suggest it rather than waiting until I couldn’t hide that I needed it.

As I brushed past him toward the door he murmured something and it wasn’t until I was halfway down the hall toward the locker rooms that it registered.

“Good for you. ”

It was nice to know that someone supported me standing up for myself. Even if it was the man who’d blown up my one-night stand less than twelve hours earlier.

I’d done my best to avoid even thinking about Zak Dempsey for most of the day. Which hadn’t been too difficult, actually, considering I’d spent most of my time getting ready for the show tonight.

But as I made my way down the cool tunnel toward the locker rooms I couldn’t help remembering the first time we’d truly met. When the cocky, arrogant hockey player who’d sniped me in the press, had turned into a completely different man and helped me through a panic attack.

It made me wish that he were with me now. I wasn’t in a full-blown episode, but I knew I’d calm down easier if I could see his face.

“So, this really is just a habit for you,” Zak said when I stepped into the locker room.

He was sitting on a bench, staring at the door, clearly waiting for me .

“What are you doing here?” I shut the door behind myself and leaned against it, gazing at the man who really should have been on his way home to Michigan, not loitering in the arena where anyone could see him.

“It occurred to me,” he said, getting to his feet and reaching out to take my hands in his. “That this morning when your alarm went off, I never actually saw you take your meds.”

“You could have just texted me to remind me,” I told him .

“I could have,” he agreed, stepping closer and moving one hand to squeeze gently at the nape of my neck. “But then I wouldn’t have had an excuse to see you again.”

“So you wanted me to have a panic attack tonight?” I shook my head. “There are easier ways to tell me you want to see me. Like…telling me.”

“I’m telling you now,” he said, leaning forward and capturing my lips in a kiss.

My head was swimming, both from the shock of seeing him there, and from the insane speed with which all of the blood in my body rushed to my groin the moment his mouth touched mine.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I admitted, my hands moving to grip his hips, holding him as if I could stop him from ever leaving.

“I can’t believe you thought I’d skip town without a proper goodbye.” He grinned and I swear to God my knees went weak.

No one should be that hot. It’s just not fair .

“And you think that was proper?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I think that barely scratches the surface of what I want to do to you,” he said, a low growl in his voice. “I’ve spent all day thinking about the fact that I’m supposed to stay away from you. And I’ve made a decision.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“And what have you decided?”

“Fuck that.”

I stared at him, unsure if he meant what I hoped he meant .

“Fuck that,” he repeated with a smirk. “I don’t want to live like this anymore, Kellen.”

“Whoa,” I said, taking a step back from him. “What are you talking about?”

“Relax. I’m not saying I’m ready to come out,” he said, moving to close the distance I’d just put between us. “But I am saying that I don’t want last night to be it for us. I’ve never even tried to have something real with someone before.”

“But you want to try with me?” I clarified .

“I think I do.”

“You think you do,” I repeated. “How flattering.”

“Wow, you’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”

“Easy isn’t my strong suit,” I agreed. “But I’m not being difficult on purpose. I just need you to be very clear with me about what you want.”

“Oh, I can do that,” he said. “I can tell you in great detail all the things I want from you.”

“You’ve really got a thing about fucking in locker rooms, huh?” I teased him. Glad that for a moment he was distracted from whatever situationship bomb he seemed on the verge of dropping.

“Until last night, it’s the only place I’ve ever fucked,” he admitted. “Is that a turn off for you?”

I grabbed his hand and pressed his palm flat against my erection. Somehow, this seemed safer than talking. “Does it feel like it bothers me?” He squeezed gently, making me groan as my head fell back against a locker, the loud bang echoing through the otherwise quiet room. “Don’t you worry you’ll get caught?”

“There’s usually no one left in the building when I meet up with someone.” He leaned forward and dragged his tongue up the side of my throat. “No one to come looking for me.”

“Well, there are a fuck ton of people here tonight,” I reminded him. “Including my band and manager, who know exactly where I am.”

“But not who you’re with,” he added, his breath warm against my ear as he moved to nip at my earlobe. “Or what I’m doing to you.”

“What are you doing to me?”

Surely he wasn’t actually considering having sex down here. Not with thousands of fans pouring into the arena, with security and press and my band wandering the building.

“Distracting you,” he murmured. His tongue traced the edge of my ear. “Craving you.”

This actually wasn’t a great idea. None of it was. He shouldn’t have been there. And we certainly shouldn’t have been together. Our careers were too important to risk everything for…weren’t they?

I wanted to ask him. Wanted to remind him what was at stake here. But one of his hands was sliding up and down my erection, and the other was pulling at the neck of my t-shirt as his gaze drifted down to my chest. And the closeness of his body to mine was making my already scrambled brain start to fry at the edges. It was too much. No one could resist this. No one could be expected to ask a man to stop when he was looking at you with that much hunger in his gaze.

“I want to come all over these fucking tats,” he whispered as he ran a finger over my collarbone.

“You can.” The words were out of my mouth with no thought behind them. In that moment, I might have agreed to just about anything for him. So long as he continued to look at me the way that he was. “I’ll wear it on stage tonight and no one will ever know but us.”

“Take off your fucking shirt,” he insisted, as his fingers gripped the hem and he wrenched it over my head himself. “On the ground.”

I knelt before him, opening his jeans and swallowing his tip between my lips before either one of us had a chance to reconsider the risk of discovery. Knowing that any moment someone could come looking for me, could find us here, was way more of a turn on than I’d ever imagined.

My own erection strained against my fly, but I knew that I wouldn’t be the one getting release tonight. And that was fine. Every time my balls ached I’d remember kneeling on the filthy locker room floor in front of Zak Dempsey, taking his cock exactly how he wanted me to.

We both moved swiftly, his hips slamming forward as my head bobbed to meet his thrusts, over and over and over again until my throat loosened and he forced his way deeper.

“I’m sorry,” he hissed, his palm cupping my jaw, tilting my face upward to meet his gaze and almost causing me to choke on his tip in my throat. “I can’t make it last. ”

He pulled himself free of my mouth and sprayed his release across my chest, his breath hitching with a small grunt as he clearly held back the scream of pleasure he wanted to give me, the scream that I’d earned but wouldn’t be receiving from him tonight.

I smoothed my palm over my chest, spreading his cum across my tattoos before lifting my hand to my mouth and licking my fingers clean, my gaze never leaving Zak’s .

“That’s so fucking hot,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m about to get hard again.”

“Well don’t do that,” I insisted. I got to my feet and grabbed my shirt, dragging it over my head as Zak tucked himself back into his jeans. “I’ve got to get back upstairs before someone comes looking for me.”

“Where are you going next?” Zak asked. “After tonight?”

“Next week we have a show in Miami on Friday, then Orlando on Saturday and then the tour is finally over.” I didn’t bother to keep the relief out of my tone. I loved playing shows for our fans, but I hated being on the road. It was a frustrating dichotomy.

“We’re headed to Vegas, and if things go well, we’ll have a few days break before the playoffs start,” he said. “I’d really like to see you somewhere in there if we can make it work.”

It was absolutely pathetic the way my heart jumped in my chest at his words. I might not have any idea what we were doing, but I knew I wanted to keep doing whatever it was .

“I’d like that, too,” I admitted.

“Kellen!” Craig’s voice drifted through the tunnel.

“Get out of here,” I told Zak, shoving him gently toward the exit. “I’ll call you.”

“You’d better.” He crushed me against his chest and kissed me quickly before releasing me again.

I didn’t know what he wanted from me. Didn’t know what I wanted, either. And I definitely didn’t know what the hell we were doing .

In fact, the only thing I knew for certain in that moment was that Zak Dempsey had literally just came and went. And it was the hottest thing I’d ever experienced in my life.

I headed back up to meet Craig, to rejoin the band and to take the stage. Happier than I’d been in a long, long time…with a surprisingly itchy chest.