Stables (Black Gulch Ranch #2)

34. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Char

It’s hard not to have a hollow feeling knowing that some of my horse babies are gone forever.

I knew there was a chance of it, but hearing Blue put it into words crushed me.

When we make our way back to Dixon’s cabin, his muscular arm drapes my shoulders while he carries Paisley.

His touch is comforting, but it doesn’t quite fix the pain of losing them.

Knowing I have bills coming up doesn’t help.

I don’t even know how to begin that conversation with Dixon. Admitting to him how deep the debt hole is seems worse than opening up my feelings.

When I bite my lip, the nick on it reminds me of earlier.

Funny, when Matt caused a scab, every time I felt it I’d get a sense of dread.

Now, the memory of Dixon groaning over me floods my limbs with heat.

I’ll worry about the money tomorrow.

For tonight, I just want to lose myself in him.

“Come on, Paisley Anne. It’s time to get your night time diaper on.” I pat the blanket on the floor where I’ve set the bag.

At least she isn’t arguing with me.

She lies quietly watching until her tiny forehead wrinkles when I stand her up. “Owwie, Mommy?” Holding out one finger, she points at my lip.

This time, it’s different.

“It was an accident.” I catch a glimpse of Dixon’s gaze over the top of his phone. Smiling, I pull her close and feather her chubby cheeks with kisses.

Once she’s sufficiently giggling, I let her go to race across the floor to where Dixon lounges on the couch.

We tag teamed the shower, so he’s sitting there all scrubbed and sexy with no shirt on.

And zipperless in his gray sweats.

He almost makes me forget about my poor animals and looming financial responsibilities.

“Daddy, uppie?” Paisley poises with her arms raised.

“She’s just completely lost the ‘Dixon’ part.” He lifts her to snuggle between him and the arm so she can watch him. “I could get used to it.”

A pang of guilt gnaws at me as I curl against his other side. “Dix, we need to talk.” My stomach rolls in dread.

But I owe him this conversation.

He flips a cartoon onto his cell and hands the small screen to Paisley.

“Thank you.” She squirms onto the floor and flops onto her belly to watch.

Dixon turns, sliding me onto his lap. “I have a feeling I need to keep a grip on you for this one. You aren’t running off, are you?” His thumb runs over my bottom lip with a pinch of worry in his eyes.

“I still feel like shit about this.”

By the time his mouth touches my forehead, I’m struggling not to cry.

“No, it has nothing to do with that.” Waving my hand, I don’t want him to think the wrong thing. “It’s about what Blue said, and how I’m never getting my stock back.”

I take a deep shuddering breath. “I needed them to pay my bills.” God, this sucks so hard.

“I was wondering if you could help me take a few of my horses down to the sale?”

His mustache twists and his mahogany eyes narrow. “Hmm. No.”

The shock that runs through me makes me jerk, but his fingers tighten on me.

“You don’t understand.” I’m struggling to stay calm as tears threaten to fall. “My mortgage is expensive, and I need to fill the oil tank for winter, and—”

“No, you don’t understand, Char. I’m not letting you sell the one thing in this world you care about, and are fucking good at. As long as I have a pulse in my body, I’m going to take care of you.” He tucks my head beneath his jaw, nestling me into his clean hairy chest. “Both of you.”

A strand tickles my nose, but the weight of what he said keeps me from scratching.

“I, um, I don’t know what to say.”

“I do,” he murmurs against my hair.

“What is it? That it’s okay to mooch off of you? Is that really how you want this?” I had to work so damn hard to survive Matt doing it to me.

The last thing in the world I want is someone to feel strapped down by me.

“Char,” he growls, his fingers wrapping around my chin to pull me to look at him. “Say those words. ‘I. Do.’ That’s all I want.”

I blink up at his intense stare.

His gaze burns over me. “And, you’re going to have to pick one of the other two houses to sell. We don’t need three. But it’s your choice. We can stay here where I know you’re safe, where we can raise a family, and you can have as many horses as you want.”

My mind goes empty. I can’t even comprehend what he’s saying until the true meaning slowly absorbs.

Is he for real?

“Dix, I—” Do I want this too?

A man who will protect me? Provide for me? And make me come so hard I forget my own name?

I watch his head tilt and his heavy-lidded eyes focus on my mouth. “—do.”

With a twitch at the corner of his mustache, he crashes his lips against mine. In bruising passion, he pushes his tongue between my teeth to own me.

Claim me.

Love me.

He kisses me so hard, we both taste the metallic tang of blood.

Loosing a low curse under his breath, he pulls back to wipe the newly opened wound.

But I don’t want him to.

“Daisy,” I whisper the safeword, fighting the smile that threatens to creep my cheek up.

His brows knit and he squints one amber eye as his hands relax their grip on me. “Char, what do you want me to stop?”

“Feeling bad for loving me.” I shift in his arms so I’m straddling the thick bulge at his waist. “I like it that you want me so much that you lose yourself.” Threading my fingers through his damp hair, I weave them together behind his neck so my nose is level with his. “You’re always in control. But knowing that the one time you’re not is when you’re completely focused on me…it’s, well, I like it.” I don’t know how else to phrase it.

His palms circle my waist, pressing me against his barely contained cock. “I don’t like hurting you.”

“Dixon.” I feather a kiss on the tip of his nose. “You can choke me.” Another light touch of my lips to his left eyelid. “Spank me.” Yet another kiss to the right. “Bite me.” I nibble on the lobe of his ear. “Pull my hair.” I feel his fingers move up, knotting in my drying curls. “Even tie me up. None of that bothers me. It’ll only hurt when you stop loving me.”

“Never,” he groans before tugging my head back to ravage my exposed throat. When his teeth pinch the tender skin, it’s as if he’s plucking a taut cord that runs the length of my body, making me shiver as the jolts run through me.

“I’m just gonna have to build a new soundproof wing onto this house so our kids won’t hear you scream.” His hot palms work under my shirt, kneading my breasts before finding both of my peaked nipples in a pinch.

I try, and fail, to stifle my squeal before it escapes.

“Mommy?” Paisley shifts to look at me from the floor. “Okay?” The lilt of panic tinges her question.

“Yes, baby girl. I’m fine.” I turn back to Dixon with a smile. “I’m wonderful.”