Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

15. you burn me

[ 15 ]

YOU BURN ME

BAXTER

“DISINTEGRATION” BY JIMMY EAT WORLD

“ I fucked Lennon Thorne.”

Levi spits out his drink as Colt whips his head up, glaring at me.

“I beg your fucking pardon?” Levi retorts, wiping his hand over his mouth. “When was this?”

I grit my teeth. “After the trial in January.”

“Whoa, wait,” Levi starts, his eyes wide as he holds his hands out. “You mean to tell us that the Lennon Thorne, as in the youngest daughter of Thorned fucking Roses , your biggest fucking inspirations, is your mystery girl?”

I flinch. She was.

All the guys have known these past few months was that I had an incredible night with a woman who remained unnamed. Levi has tried to pry it out of me on more than one occasion, but I stood my ground, refusing to spill. Until a few days ago, I never expected to see her again, so I didn’t think it would matter. It’s not the first time I’ve kept a woman’s name private, and it probably won’t be the last.

But running into her the other day reminded me of just how much she affected me. She’s been stuck in my mind since that day back in January and even more so since I chased her out of Jeremy’s office. I want more of her, and I don’t plan on giving up until I get it.

My molars grind together as I nod. “That’d be the one. Though it’s not much of a mystery anymore.”

“Damn,” Levi exclaims. “No wonder your creative juices have been flowing lately. I bet she fucks as good as she looks.”

I huff a laugh. She’s so damn beautiful—I don’t think it’s possible for anyone, not even me, to fuck that well. But fuck if I don’t want a repeat to remind me how good sex with her is.

“Just about,” I murmur, lighting a cigarette and holding it up to my lips.

I knew as soon as she called me Lover Boy in the bar that day that she was different. Most women throw themselves at me, and as much as I love the attention, not having hers from the get-go only made me want to get it more. She challenged me.

And I love a good challenge.

That night, that woman, was unlike any of the nights or women before. She cast some kind of spell on me, and I can’t shake it.

I can’t shake her. Seeing her a few days ago only reconfirmed that, no matter how mean she may have been.

“Isn’t she almost ten years younger than you?” Colt asks, pulling my attention back to the conversation at hand.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. “Seven. But yes.”

“So, you’re like a male cougar,” Levi jokes with a grin. “Or wait, would you be a sugar daddy?”

I furrow my brows, giving Levi a what the fuck? look as Colt smacks him upside the head.

“You’re such a dumbass,” Colt tells him before turning back to me. “So, she’s who half your album is about? She’s why you’ve been so distracted the past few months?”

I blow smoke out as I bob my head. “You could say that.”

Colt hums pensively, leaning back as he takes a drag of his own cigarette.

I meet his eyes as he looks at me, brows raised. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “That just explains why you only agreed to do a duet with Isabella.”

My brows furrow. “What are you talking about?”

Colt scoffs. “She knows the Thornes.”

“And?”

“And you were hoping she’d get you back in touch with Lennon.”

I grit my teeth, hating how transparent I’ve become over all this. I’ve known my feelings toward Lennon aren’t normal for me, but considering Colt’s never been one to get up in my business, so his interest in this is a massive red flag.

“So, did it work?”

“No.” I shake my head, putting my smoke out in the ashtray beside me. “But I did see her the other day.”

“You did? Where?”

I swallow, my knee bouncing. “Revolution.”

Both guys stare back at me, confused looks on their faces. There’s no doubt in my mind the way they look right now resembles how I looked when she walked into Jeremy’s office.

Neither of them say anything though, so I add, “She works there.”

Levi barks a laugh as a small smirk grows on Colt’s face. The fact that he’s smiling at all goes to show how fucked up this whole situation really is.

“She didn’t tell you?” Levi asks, still laughing.

“Nope.” I cross my arms over my chest. “I found out when she walked into Jeremy’s office after he asked me to headline the benefit concert.”

“The one for MADD in August? ”

“That’s the one. It’s hers .”

“No way.” Levi snorts, his laugh growing harder. “This is too good. Are you doing it?”

I shake my head. “She doesn’t want me involved. Basically told me to go fuck myself when I offered.”

“Damn. I knew I liked that girl.”

I shoot Levi a look, my brows furrowed. He holds up his hands in defense, his smirk growing.

“So, that’s it then?” Colt inquires.

“For now,” I say with a shrug. “I told her she’d change her mind. I’m banking on the fact that she won’t be able to find anyone bigger than me to do it, and she’ll have no choice.”

Colt rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that’s just what you want. For her to be forced into choosing you.”

“Whatever. She doesn’t have to like me to fuck me again.”

Levi nods with a grin from the corner of the room he’s in as Colt narrows his eyes.

“Does she know?” Colt asks hesitantly, not elaborating. He doesn’t need to though. I know what he’s asking.

I ball my fists as I shake my head. “No.”

Colt lets out a low whistle as Levi’s brows raise.

“You gonna tell her?”

Gritting my teeth, I glance at the ground as I shrug and avoid answering altogether. I catch Colt shaking his head and rolling his eyes as Levi lets out a light chuckle, always easily amused.

I haven’t given much thought to whether or not I should share what I know about the man responsible for killing her parents. As much as I want to see her again, I get the sense she’ll do whatever she can to stay away from me.

Besides, what good would it do now anyway? I’d all but forgotten about him until that day in the courtroom, and I don’t see much point in sharing that version of my life when she doesn’t even want this version of me in hers.

So until she comes crawling back, begging me to either fuck her again or be part of the concert—or with any luck, both —that secret is staying locked away in the vault.

Exactly where it belongs.