Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

19. head in the clouds

[ 19 ]

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

BAXTER

“SWEATER WEATHER” BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

“ S he changed her mind,” I say nonchalantly to Colt and Levi, strumming the guitar in my lap.

We’re sitting in my studio, fucking around with some songs and finishing up the demos before we head to the studio to start mixing it in a few days. I figure now is as good a time as any to fill them in on the new developments with Lennon from the other day.

Colt quirks a brow from across the room, holding a guitar of his own. “Is that so?”

Levi looks up from the drumset he keeps in my home recording studio. “Wait, what are we talking about?”

Colt shoots him a glance and simply says, “Lennon.”

Levi’s eyes widen as he looks to me, understanding dawning on him. “What happened?”

I explain that Jeremy called me a few days ago to let me know Lennon wanted to meet with me. He told me I could swing by the following day to talk to her, and I agreed. But after we hung up, I spent hours pacing my living room wondering what she could want.

When I finally had enough of the wondering, I decided to go for a drive to clear my head and ended up outside Revolution. I had no expectations that she’d still be there at eight o’clock at night, but something in my gut was telling me to at least go see. And damn, am I happy I did. Both because she finally caved on including me in the concert and because she agreed to keep sleeping with me for who knows how long.

It was a win-win situation. For me, anyway.

I’m not sure if she felt the same.

But all that matters now is that I’m in. Part of me had known what Jeremy was calling for, but I was still trying to not get my hopes up. I knew how badly Lennon didn’t want me involved in the concert, so I also know her asking had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her not being able to find anyone more suitable than me. Colt had joked a few weeks back about me wanting her to be forced into choosing me, and as much as knowing she was sucks, I can’t help but revel in the fact that I got my way.

Nevertheless, despite how little interest I’ve had in doing benefit concerts in the past, I do plan on helping her in any way I can over these next few months. I know how important this is to her, and I know how much she thinks I’m going to somehow screw it up, so I’m making it my mission to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

I want to convince her that, save for her parents themselves, I’m the best person she could’ve chosen to headline.

“Damn,” Levi huffs. “So, we’re performing at the concert then?”

“We are.” I nod. “And you can expect to be seeing a lot more of her around, because I also convinced her to be friends with benefits with me.”

Both my best friends freeze, their mouths hanging open. They definitely didn’t see that part coming.

“I’m sorry.” Levi frowns. “I must not have heard you right. What do you mean you’ve agreed to be friends with benefits with Lennon?”

I just shrug, a smirk playing on my face.

“Does that mean only one pussy from now on?”

I huff a laugh, shaking my head as Colt rolls his eyes. “Not always. But in my case, yes.”

“Dude. Who are you and what have you done with Baxter James?”

“Trust me. If you fucked her, you’d get it.”

Levi’s look of shock morphs into his signature stupid grin. “So…you’ll share, right?”

I whip my head up, anger twisting my features. “Fuck no.”

The guys and I have shared women in the past, but Lennon will not be one of them. That doesn’t seem like her style, and she’s definitely not the kind of girl you let go of once you have her.

She’s mine. At least for as long as we’re friends with benefits.

Though I haven’t even seen her since then. She refused to give me her number that night, and I’ve been too busy getting the album finalized to go down there and bother her. But our deadline to have the album ready for mixing is tomorrow, so as soon as we’re done here, I’ll be doing just that. If she won’t talk to me, showing up at her office will be my way of reminding her I exist.

Levi raises a brow. “Wow, this girl’s really got you whipped, eh?”

I roll my eyes. “Fuck that noise. I’m not whipped. I’m just helping out a great girl who’s going through a tough time and needs a hand.”

“A tough time because of you-know-who,” Colt chimes in. “I’m guessing whatever you said to convince her to include you didn’t include how you know Logan.”

I shake my head, grinding my teeth. “I have no plans to. That part of my life is in the past, and that’s where I want it to stay. ”

“She should know.”

I glare at him, hoping my gaze conveys how serious I am when I demand, “Drop it.”

He shakes his head. “Just…why her?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve never shown an interest in even seeing a woman again, let alone agreeing to be friends with benefits with one. So, of all the women in the world, why Lennon?”

Brows pulled together, I ponder his question. The truth is, I have no idea what it is about Lennon that makes her so special—all I know is that she is . Maybe part of me sees myself in her. I mean, she did lose her parents the same way I lost my mom, so it would only make sense. And I do think it has to do with the fact that I feel somewhat responsible for what happened—that just isn’t something I’m ready to admit yet.

So I shrug. “There’s just something about her.”

Levi huffs a laugh, giving me a high five as Colt levels me with a stare. He’s always been the most observant of the three of us, and considering he’s one of the few who know about what happened after my mom’s death, I’m sure he can see right through me.

Clenching his jaw, he shakes his head, but thankfully, he lets it go.

I know I’m going to have to tell Lennon the truth eventually, especially if we actually want to be friends and not just benefits . But it’s not something I can just casually bring up, and I still don’t know if it’s even something I should.

It’s not like it really matters—it’s in the past; telling her now will only cause more pain. And though I’m sure it’ll happen someday, hurting Lennon is the last thing I ever want to do.