Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

33. only human

[ 33 ]

ONLY HUMAN

LENNON

“HALO” BY HALEY JAMES SCOTT

“ C oncert is coming up fast, eh?” my brother asks from where he stands at the barbeque.

I’m seated next to Emma at the patio set on their back deck, watching my niece and nephew in the pool while he grills us dinner.

“Sure is,” I respond over a wine cooler. “Six weeks to go. It’s crazy how fast time has flown by.”

It’s even crazier that there are only six weeks left of this arrangement with Baxter. An arrangement that, other than Paige hearing Isa’s slip in my office a few months back, my siblings still know nothing about. She never brought it up, and I’m hoping that, with any luck, it’ll end before she does.

“How are things coming along?” Emma asks.

I nod, a smile filling my face. “Good. Really good. Most of the vendors have been booked, and I approved most of the merch, so things are really coming together nicely.”

“That’s fantastic, Lens,” she replies, taking a sip of sparkling water. They just found out they’re pregnant with their third child, and I couldn’t be happier for the two of them.

“No more drama with the artists?” Dylan takes the seat across from me.

I shake my head. “Not since Lilia Love cancelled, but at least she had a valid reason—her father is having surgery that weekend. SON!C is the only one who screwed me over, and I haven’t heard a peep from them since.”

“And Baxter James?” Dylan inquires, a knowing look on his face. Paige must have said something to him. “From everything I’ve seen about the guy in the media, I would’ve thought there’d be some drama with him.”

My shoulders fall as he finishes, relieved that his comment wasn’t referring to me and Baxter. “He’s been great, actually.”

“Who’s been great?” Paige pipes up, walking through the sliding glass door carrying a salad bowl, Trevor in tow with their drinks.

“Baxter James.” Emma shoots Paige a smirk, as if they all know something I don’t.

Paige’s eyes widen. “Oh, are we finally talking about that?”

“Talking about what?” I ask, acting like I have no idea what’s going on. I have a strong feeling they know about us, but I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth on the off chance that they’re referring to something else.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know, Lens. It’s unbecoming.”

My brows furrow. “Well, hello to you too, sis. But what the hell are you talking about?”

“Auntie Wenny said a bad wod!” comes screeching from the pool before my four-year-old nephew Isaac runs over to me, soaking everything in his path.

I can’t help the laugh that falls from my lips as he plants his wet hands on my cheeks, his bright-green eyes that match his mom’s meeting mine. “Dat’s a bad wod, Wenny.”

“I’m sorry, bug,” I reply, rolling my lips together to fight a smile. “I’ll put a quarter in the jar. Promise.” I boop him on the nose as a smile fills his face again. With a nod, he runs and jumps back into the pool.

I shake my head with a smile before looking back to my siblings and in-laws, who all stare at me with concern written on their faces. My brows pull together as I say, “Elaborate, please.”

Paige sighs. “That comment Isa made in your office back in May. I know there’s something going on between you two.”

“Wait…what?” Dylan asks, his brows furrowed. “You and Baxter James ?”

“Nora, Isaac, time to wash up for dinner!” Emma interrupts, clearly wanting to get my niece and nephew away from where she knows the conversation is going. She dries them off quickly before ushering them inside.

Trevor excuses himself as well, understanding this conversation should be between the three of us.

Once they’re gone, Dylan turns back to me with anger written clear on his face and whisper-yells, “What the fuck , Lennon?”

I flinch slightly. My brother rarely swears.

“I’ve been waiting for you to say something to bring it up again.” Paige crosses one leg over the other. “So, are you finally going to tell us the truth?”

I roll my eyes. “You guys don’t need to know everything about me.”

Paige’s brows pull together. “We’re your siblings, Lennon. We just want what’s best for you.”

“Yeah, and Baxter’s not it, right?”

“He’s not a good guy, Lens. We’ve all seen the news. He’s the world’s most notorious rock star for a reason.”

My jaw falls open, anger coursing through my bloodstream. “You don’t even know him.”

“How long has this been going on?” Dylan asks, a bite in his tone.

I shrug. “A while.”

“What’s a while ?” Paige returns .

I roll my lips together. They’ve already figured it out, so there’s really no point in lying anymore. “The first time was the day of the trial. Back in January.”

Paige’s jaw falls open while Dylan’s tenses.

“Nearly seven months? And we’re just finding this out now ?!”

I shake my head. “The first time was in January. I didn’t see him again until March, and then after SON!C bailed, he was the only suitable person available at the label to headline the concert. We’ve grown…closer…since he agreed to that.”

Dylan scoffs. “So, you’ve been fucking Baxter James since April, and we had no idea.”

I nod slightly. “You could say that.”

“God, Lennon.” Paige shakes her head. “I hope you’ve been to the doctor.”

My brows pull together. “He’s clean, and we use condoms. Besides, we’re exclusive.”

My brother barks a laugh. “Baxter James exclusive? I find that hard to believe. I swear to God, I’ll kill him.”

With a head shake, Paige adds, “What would Mom and Dad say?”

That question boils my blood. “First thing’s first—all Mom and Dad have ever wanted for any of us is happiness. Right now, I am happy, which is something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be again after they died. And that’s the second thing—it doesn’t really matter what they’d say because they aren’t here . Which really fucking sucks, and I’ll never fully move on from that. But they don’t get an opinion on my life anymore, and frankly, neither do either of you. We’re just having fun, and he’s actually been really good for me.”

Their jaws drop.

“How could an infamous asshole be good for you? And why the hell haven’t you told us about him before now if he is?” Paige shouts.

“Because I knew you’d react like this !” I wave my arms out in front of me. “I love you both, but I knew you wouldn’t approve. You’ve already been worried about me for months, and I knew if I told you I was friends with benefits with Baxter James, you’d only worry more. You’d think I was spiralling. And I’m tired of feeling like I can’t live my own life. I’m tired of feeling suffocated and judged for everything I do.”

Their faces fall, but I continue. “Baxter has been good for me. He broke down my walls and forced me to let someone in. He’s let me in, too. I know more about him than the majority of the world, including the two of you. He’s made me realize I’m not alone in all that I’ve been feeling. He’s been incredibly helpful and supportive with the concert. And he helped me fall in love with music again.”

I sigh, preparing to tell them the other secret I’ve been keeping from them for months. “Up until a month ago, I hadn’t written since the accident. I hadn’t even touched an instrument. Bax helped me get it back.”

Dylan looks at me confused. “You haven’t been writing?”

I shake my head, fidgeting with my hands.

“Lennon…I’m sorry.” Paige glances at Dylan before looking back to me. “We didn’t know you felt this way.”

I lift my shoulders. “I didn’t want you to.”

“You have changed these past few months. I thought it was just time healing.”

“Maybe time has helped some, but so has Baxter. And I’m sorry if you guys don’t approve, but I’m capable of making my own decisions.”

“We know you are, Lens.” Paige sighs in resignation. “I guess this was just the last thing we saw coming.”

“Trust me when I say that I didn’t see it coming either,” I mutter just loud enough for them to hear.

And it’s the truth. I didn’t see any of it coming.

Falling in love with him included.

“Anyway…can we eat now?”