Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

35. moment of truth

[ 35 ]

MOMENT OF TRUTH

BAXTER

“SOLDIER” BY GAVIN DEGRAW

“ B ax.” Lennon’s voice is strangled as she says my name, followed by a stuttered apology for leaving me a message in the middle of the night.

My heart crawls further up my throat with each croak of her voice. She’s crying. Why though, she doesn’t say, and that worries me even more.

There’s a brief pause, my knee bouncing as I listen to the message she left me. I knew her calling at quarter-to-four in the morning wasn’t for a good reason, but hearing the nerves in her voice as she cries splits my heart in two. I hate myself even more for leaving my phone on silent overnight as the words, “I-I need y-you,” come out in one breath.

It’s with that phrase that I’m on my feet and moving before I can even think twice. Everything I should be thinking about disappears from my mind, Lennon becoming my one and only focus.

I call her back as I pull on my black combat boots, but she doesn’t pick up. My mind runs rampant about everything that could be wrong as I try her again.

Still nothing.

So I rush out the door of my hotel room in Cleveland, shrugging on my leather jacket as I do. The door slams shut, and I dial Kevin’s number as I head toward the elevator.

“Whoa, Bax, where’s the fire?” Levi calls from behind me, but I don’t look back.

The elevator doors open, and I turn around, pushing the button for the lobby before looking up at my two best friends, who watch me with confused looks on their faces.

“Lennon,” is all I say as the elevator doors close.

It takes its sweet-ass time going down, but I finally make it to the lobby. I rush outside, phone pressed to my ear as I push my way through the paparazzi, approaching the car that stays waiting for me.

I get inside, the driver looking at me, silently asking where I’m headed. “The airport,” I bark at the same time that Kevin answers the phone.

“Why are you going to the airport?” Kevin asks. “It’s not even ten a.m. Why are you up? What’s going on? ” His tone is worried, clearly catching the bite in mine and sensing that something’s wrong.

“It’s Lennon.”

A sigh falls from Kevin’s lips. “Baxter, you have a show tonight.”

“I need to see her,” I grit out, my frustration growing. “Is my plane ready?”

He’s silent for a moment. “It will be by the time you arrive.” I can almost hear his brows furrow on the other end. “But make it quick. Bring her back with you if you must. You only have seven hours before you need to be at the stadium. It’s your first show here—you need to be back for it.”

A growl works its way up my throat. “Fine. ”

I hang up the phone.

The flight from Cleveland to Toronto is barely an hour, so it’s not even noon by the time I make it to Lennon’s apartment building. That gives me just over three hours before I have to be back at the airport to make it to Cleveland Browns Stadium for soundcheck at five.

I don’t even know if she’s here, since I still haven’t heard back from her, but I figured it’s the first place I should check. I approach the front door where her doorman, Kenny, awaits. He smirks when he sees me coming, pulling the door open for me.

“Good morning, Mr. James,” he says with a kind smile.

“Morning, Kenny,” I rasp, walking through the door. “Is she in?”

With his nod, my shoulders fall. At least she’s safe, even if she’s hurting. He buzzes me through the next set of doors, and I continue up to Lennon’s apartment on the eighth floor.

The elevator dings, letting me know I’ve reached her floor. I hurry down the hall until I come to a stop outside her door—number eight-zero-eight. I grit my teeth and bring my knuckles up, knocking firmly.

“One sec,” I hear from the other side. I grit my teeth as I listen for her footsteps.

A moment later, the door swings open, a sharp intake of breath escaping her. “Baxter?”

I take a step forward, wrapping my arms around her. She does the same to me, gripping my jacket like it’s her lifeline. We stay like that for a moment, just holding onto each other like we’ve spent four years apart rather than four weeks.

When she pulls away slightly, she looks me up and down as if to make sure I’m really here before she meets my eyes. “Y-you’re here. You came?”

I swallow roughly, my eyes holding on hers. “You called.”

Her eyes widen slightly before she tears her gaze from mine, a pink tinge working its way to her cheeks. “I’m sorr?—”

“ Don’t ,” I grit out, interrupting her. “Don’t apologize, Lennon. Not to me. Not for anything.”

A sad smile fills her face as I press my lips to her forehead. Pulling back, I let my eyes roam her body, taking a moment to examine the woman I haven’t seen in nearly a month—the woman who has filled every space in my mind in that time.

She’s dressed in a light-blue silk pajama top and matching shorts that leave very little to the imagination, the same ones she was wearing when I came by on the anniversary of the accident, and I feel myself growing hard as I take her in. Her eyes are slightly red and her face is puffy from crying, but she’s even more beautiful than my mind remembered.

“Are you okay? Why didn’t you answer when I called you back?”

“You called me back?” Her brows pull together.

My expression mirrors hers as I say, “Of course, I did. I was worried about you.”

She shakes her head, her face falling. “My phone must’ve died…I’m sorry. But I’m fine,” she stammers, tears beginning to well in her eyes again. “It was just a bad dream. I shouldn’t have called in the first place.”

“Lennon,” I rasp, my voice pulling her attention back to me. “I’m glad you called.”

“But…the show.”

I press my forehead against hers, her hands coming up to grip my wrists. “Fuck the show, Lenny girl. You’re more important.”

A blush rises in her cheeks as my eyes stray to her lips. It takes everything in me to restrain from pressing my mouth against hers.

“Bax…” Her tongue darts out over her lips as she glances down at mine. She clears her throat before she continues, her voice sc ratchy. “You should kiss me now.”

A low growl falls from me at her words. My hands roam her body, pulling her flush against me as my mouth hovers inches from hers.

“What about the rules?” I rasp.

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Fuck the rules,” she whispers, her words mimicking mine from seconds ago.

“About fucking time,” I growl, slamming my mouth to hers.

She whimpers as I sweep my tongue over her lip, begging for entry. Tilting her head back slightly, she opens her mouth for me. Her arms come up around my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair.

“Get a room,” someone murmurs in the hall behind us.

I’d forgotten we were still standing in her doorway, too wrapped up in her to care. She giggles against my lips as I wrap an arm around her, pushing her back into her apartment, not breaking the kiss. I kick the door shut behind me before grabbing Lennon by the legs and lifting her.

I’ve been here enough times now to know my way around, even with my eyes shut. Keeping my mouth glued to hers, I head toward the kitchen island, setting her atop it. Her legs wrap around me as I wedge myself between them, my fingers gripping her hips.

Our tongues tangle together, our breaths becoming frantic and choppy and one .

I don’t know how I’ve managed to go this long without kissing her again.

“Lennon,” I groan, sucking her bottom lip between my teeth before pulling back to meet her eyes. The hazel pools swirling with lust consume me entirely. “Come back with me.”

“Bax…” she pants, her chest rising and falling as she tries to catch her breath. “I can’t.”

My face falls. I knew she wouldn’t agree, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Her fingers play with the hair at my nape as she continues. “I would if I could, but I have to work this week. It’s too close to the concert, and I still have a lot to do.”

I nod. “I know. I understand.” I press my lips to her forehead. “You’re coming next weekend, though. For my last show.”

“Is that a good idea? We agreed not to be seen together in public. People are going to talk.”

“So let them. I want you there.” I tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Please come, Lenny girl. Come to one show of mine before the benefit concert in a few weeks. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Her face falls slightly, and I instantly want to punch myself for even bringing it up. Because the mention of the concert is just another reminder that our arrangement is coming to an end soon.

She steels her expression, looking up at me with a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Okay. Yes. I’ll come.”

I grin at her, pressing another gentle kiss against her lips, as a realization stabs me in the chest.

Colt was right. I’m in love with Lennon. And if I don’t figure out a way to tell her soon, I’m going to lose her.

For good.