Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

40. light up

[ 40 ]

LIGHT UP

LENNON

One Month Until the Concert

“COLLIDE” BY HOWIE DAY

“ S o…I think I’m in love with Baxter,” I announce quietly across the shelf holding various vinyl albums at Underground Espresso, the combined record store and coffee shop down the street from Revolution.

It’s been three days since Baxter and I returned from New York State, where his final show was. Three days spent drowning in each other, knowing in a few short weeks, this will all be over. Three days of me trying to push my feelings away before finally resigning myself to the fact that I am in love with him.

And I have no idea what to do about that little discovery.

“About damn time.” Isa huffs a laugh, rounding the shelf to come stand beside me. “What made you finally realize?”

“I, uh…” I roll my lips together. “I had a nightmare a few weeks back, before his tour ended. First one in a while. I think hashing things out with Dyl and Paige brought up too much and…anyway, I left him a voicemail at four in the morning, and a few hours later, he was knocking on my apartment door. ”

“Hold the fucking phone,” Isa hisses as she leans forward, her eyes wide. “ He showed up at your door ?”

I nod.

She shakes her head in disbelief. “Mid-tour. He just…left, and came to see you?”

I nod again.

“Oh, my god.” Isa’s jaw falls open.

“I know.”

“He’s in love with you, too.”

My brows furrow. “No…no he’s not. There’s no way. Baxter doesn’t do love. He told me so himself.”

Isa rolls her eyes. “Lenny, think about it. Actions speak louder than words, and everything that man has done in the past few months suggests serious feelings have developed.”

I ponder her words, thinking about everything that’s happened.

How Baxter opened up to me about his mom the first night we met, even though I was nothing more than a stranger in a bar. How he broke his own rules for me that same night. How he chased me when I left Jeremy’s office the first day we saw each other again. The way he practically jumped at the chance to be a part of the benefit, despite it being something he wouldn’t usually do. The way he was the one who brought up the idea of being friends with benefits, and how he admitted he doesn’t want to stay away from me.

How every day since then, he’s done nothing to make me believe he isn’t interested in me and everything to show me he is. He drives me places because he knows I don’t like to. He remembered my coffee order without me having to tell him. He came to check on me on the six-month anniversary of the accident simply because he was worried about me. He’s teaching me to play guitar. He had roses delivered to my office.

He flew from Cleveland to Toronto on the day of a show simply because I’d called him.

He was ready to knock Nathan out simply because he was touching me.

He worshipped my body and told me I’m his, over and over and over again.

Holy shit .

“Told you,” she remarks with a smirk.

I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the fact of the matter is, she’s right.

I’ve been so dead set on believing Baxter would never fall for anyone, least of all someone like me, simply because in all his thirty-one years, he’s never been seen with a woman more than once.

But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for him to change…does it?

He already has in so many ways. He changed his rules for me the night we met when I was a total stranger. He changed his rules by agreeing to be friends with benefits. Who’s to say he hasn’t changed his mind about falling in love?

“Lenny…are you okay? You look a little pale.” Isa grasps my arm, pulling my attention back to her.

I nod slowly. “I—Yes. I’m fine. I just… What do I do now?”

“You tell him.”

She says the words as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

I shake my head. “I can’t do that. What if you’re wrong about his feelings for me?”

Isa rears back as if I’ve insulted her. “Lennon Amelia Thorne. When have I ever been wrong?!”

I huff a laugh and roll my eyes. “There’s a first time for everything,” I say with a shrug, taking a sip of the iced vanilla oat latte in my hand.

Isa lightly smacks me on the arm, her jaw falling open in betrayal. “Take that back right now.”

I chuckle as we continue making our way through the aisles. Neither of us says anything for a moment as we browse, but when I come across an old vinyl of my parents’ I Dare You album, my mind flashes to the rider Baxter gave me. The whole reason I’m here is to find this album for him, but a watery smile fills my face as I stare at the cover art—the same photo I have framed in my office of the two of them onstage, staring into each other’s eyes while singing into the same mic.

Isa comes up behind me, rubbing a hand down my back. “You’ve gotta tell him, Lenny. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“Not yet, okay?” I sigh, swiping a tear away quickly. “After the concert I will. I don’t want to risk cutting our time together short if, by chance, you are mistaken.”

I’ve told myself we could never be more than what we are now because anything else forces me to admit how I feel about him to him. And that’s terrifying. He could reject me, or tell me he doesn’t feel the same way, so I’ve been avoiding my feelings at every corner. But it’s become glaringly obvious that no matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, I’ve fallen in love with Baxter. The best I can do now is tell him such and hope to God he tells me he loves me back.

I look at her with a sadness in my eyes and she sends me a small smile.

“Okay, Lenny.” Her head tilts toward the album in my hand. “Find what you were looking for?”

The smile on my face grows. “Yeah. I did.”

We browse for a while longer before I catch sight of bleach-blonde curls near the back of the store. Recognizing them immediately, I head in that direction, Isa following behind me.

“Sadie?” I ask as I approach.

She spins around to face me with a smile, and so does the guy she’s with, who just so happens to be Colt.

“Oh, hey Colt,” I greet.

“Lennon.” He nods slightly, his signature brooding look changing as he glances at Isa. His eyes darken, and his jaw works as he scans her body, though I can’t tell if it’s out of attraction or hatred .

“Hi, Lennon,” Sadie says with a smile, her bright-blue eyes shining even in the dimly-lit store.

I grin back at her. “This is my best friend, Isabella Cordova,” I say as if they both don’t already know who she is.

Sadie’s eyes light up as she looks to Isa, clearly starstruck by the fact that she’s in the same room as her.

I smile to myself. I plan to ask Sadie if she’ll fill the extra time at the concert now that Lilia’s cancelled, and she’ll be performing right before Isa if she agrees.

Colt grinds his teeth as he grits out, “We’ve met.”

Isa rolls her eyes. Sadie and I stand there, confused looks crossing our faces as the tension between my best friend and her brother grows.

“You have?” I ask. I’d remember her telling me about that.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Turning to Sadie, Isa smiles and holds her hand out. “It’s nice to meet you, Sadie. I’ve heard great things.”

Sadie takes it cautiously, a blush working its way into her cheeks. “Nice to meet you, too, Isabella. I’m a huge fan.”

“Oh, please. Call me Isa.”

Sadie’s lips quirk as she pulls her hand away. “What are you guys doing here?”

I hold the album up. “Had to get this for Baxter. What about you?”

She looks up at her brother, whose eyes still haven’t left Isa. There’s definitely something going on between them, but I can’t tell what. I make a mental note to ask her about it when we leave.

“Just browsing,” Sadie states, looking back at me with a confused look. Clearly, she’s sensing the same thing as me. Steeling her expression, she adds, “I know I told you a few days ago, but I’m really excited for the concert.”

“I’m really happy to hear that. I am, too.” I smile. “Actually, speaking of the concert, I have something I want to talk to you about.”

That phrase finally pulls Colt’s attention from Isa. I’m sure Baxter’s already told him about my plan to ask Sadie to extend her set.

“It’s nothing bad, promise. But would you mind coming by my office on Friday around nine thirty so we can talk about it there?”

“Oh, um…” Sadie’s cheeks flush pink again as she looks to Colt. With a slight tilt of his head, she turns back to me and says, “Sure. I’d be happy to.”

I get the sense she’s not used to trusting people, hence why she looks to Colt for approval. And maybe it’s because of his unnaturally cold exterior and walls even higher than mine, but it fills me with warmth to know he seems to believe I’m trustworthy.

I grin. “Great. Well, I need to be getting back, but it was great running into you both. I’ll see you Friday.”

Sadie nods. “Okay, bye. See you then.”

Colt grunts his response as I grab Isa by the arm and drag her toward the cash register.

After I pay for the album, we make our way out of the store and into the hot July sun. Isa’s pace as we begin our walk back to Revolution is faster than usual, so I grasp her hand to slow her down.

“Isa, wait.” Now that we’re out of earshot, I hiss, “What the fuck was that ?!”

“IF TODAY WAS YOUR LAST DAY” BY NICKELBACK

A few days later, I head into my office with Baxter, Colt, and Levi trailing closely behind. Baxter immediately takes the seat across from me at my desk while the other two make themselves comfortable on my couch, Colt with his arms crossed over his chest and Levi with his signature goofy grin spread across his face .

After Lilia Love cancelled, I thought long and hard about which new sign’s set to extend. The concert is only a month out now, so I knew I needed to make a decision soon. After getting to spend some time with Sadie last week at Baxter’s concert, I decided I wanted to offer the extra time to her. That’s what today is about—I’m meeting with her to see if she’s comfortable going on right before Isa.

After I met her at Baxter’s show, I told him I decided on her, and he was super supportive of it. I get the sense that Sadie basically has three big brothers, not just one. He insisted I let them all join in, and at first I was hesitant because I don’t want to overwhelm her, but I finally agreed when he told me that Colt would want to be here for Sadie much like he wants to be here for me.

Levi…well, we agreed he’d want to come because he goes everywhere they do. Plus he’d hate to miss out on a chance to flirt with Sadie and me.

I don’t know why I’ve been so nervous about this meeting since we set it up earlier this week, but despite the confidence I felt while asking her, I’ve been constantly worried that she won’t say yes. Baxter keeps reminding me that a) she will, and b) if she doesn’t, I have six other new signs I can ask instead, and I know he’s right. But that hasn’t really done anything to calm my nerves.

Seeing as I’ve only met Sadie twice, I worry she may think it’s weird I’m asking her first. But something tells me that Sadie and I could be good friends. She’s pretty much the exact opposite of me in every way, with her bright features and shy but bubbly personality—a stark contrast to my dark hair and eyes and my outgoing yet moody self. But I think that’s what draws me to her. She helped me out when I needed it the night of Baxter’s concert, and that was enough for me.

Something tells me Sadie could use a friend, too, even if just for a little while. I know from the guys that she’s planning on moving back to Nashville after the benefit—much to Colt’s chagrin—but that’s not going to stop me from making her feel welcome around here until she goes.

At exactly half past nine, there’s a slight knock on the door, so I stand and round my desk to open it for her.

“Sadie!” I exclaim, pulling her in for a hug. I figure killing her with kindness is the best way to go about this.

“H-hi, Lennon,” she stutters as she makes her way into the room, glancing at the guys. Her shoulders visibly drop in relief when she sees Colt, which in turn makes me feel relieved, too.

“Hi, Sadie Bear,” Colt says as he stands to pull Sadie in for a hug, too.

Her cheeks tinge with pink as she replies, “Hi, Colty,” with an eye roll. “Hey, guys,” she adds, greeting Baxter and Levi.

“Sadie.” Baxter nods from his seat in front of my desk, keeping his face neutral in typical Baxter fashion. Levi flashes her his classic boyish grin paired with a wink that would make every other girl’s panties wet, but Sadie just shakes her head and laughs.

“Hey, little Wat—shit, I mean Armstrong. Never gonna get used to you two having different last names,” he teases.

“My last name has been Armstrong the entire time you’ve known me, dumbass,” she chuckles. “But hey, Levi.”

Colt takes his seat next to Levi again, and I shoot Baxter a look that tells him to move. He pouts momentarily before getting up and joining his friends at the side of the room, and Sadie takes his seat.

“So…what’s up?” she asks, a nervous lilt in her tone.

I lean forward, placing my arms on the glass top of my desk. “Well, I wanted to ask you how you would feel about me extending your set by thirty minutes so you can go on later in the day…right before Isa. We have some time to fill, and I know this is your first big show, so I can totally ask one of the other new signs instead, but I wanted to ask you first.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “W-why me?”

I smile. “Well, all the established performers are already slotted for forty-five to sixty minutes, so I’d rather use the extra time to boost some of the newer signs—and Jeremy would rather I do that, too. I’m asking you first, because a) I’m trying to make sure I have a good mix of genres spread throughout the day, and you’re one of only two country artists I have, and b) you’re good, Sadie. Like, really good. Your EP has been doing great since its release a month ago, and your next album is going to blow up. Having you go on right before the two biggest performers of the night will make sure of that. Plus, this is my show and Jeremy gave me free reign to do what I want, and you’re my friend, so I want to help you shine.”

She shoots me a watery smile as her shoulders fall. I can tell she’s terrified, and I don’t blame her at all. Performing at the end of the day would be a big deal for any of the new signs, because it makes them one of the last acts people see and usually results in a bigger crowd. And it’s a big shift from the lunchtime slot I originally scheduled her for.

But I know she can do this. So I reach across the desk, placing my hand on hers, and tell her just that.

“I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. I would be, too. It’s normal, I’m almost certain everyone is scared for their first big show?—”

Baxter clears his throat from across the room, interrupting me. We glance over, finding his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrow raised, as if to say really? Everyone?

I shake my head, looking back to Sadie, and a laugh bubbles out of her. “Okay, almost everyone, present company excluded, clearly. But still. If you really don’t want to, just say the word, but you can do this, Sade. It will be good for you, and you’ll be amazing.”

She takes a moment to mull it over, probably trying to find a way to believe the words I’m saying to her—just like I would be. But then she looks at me with a small smile and nods. “Okay. Yes. I’ll do it.”