Starstruck (Heartstrings Duet #1)

51. let you walk away

[ 51 ]

LET YOU WALK AWAY

BAXTER

“ASHES AND WINE” BY A FINE FRENZY

Trouble

I don’t hate you, Baxter. That’s the problem. I wish I did. Hating you would make this so much easier.

But I don’t. I never could.

I reread Lennon’s text from the other day yet again as Colt, Levi, and I make our way to the trailer she reserved for us. I hadn’t been expecting her to respond—all the others I’d sent had gone unanswered—so I was pleasantly surprised when she did. As much as I know the words were meant to hurt, they also gave me hope. Hope that I hadn’t had until that point.

Hope that maybe this thing between us can still be fixed.

Which is why I showed up to the benefit concert way earlier than I need to be—I don’t go on until eight thirty p.m., which is just over six hours from now. But I figured showing up early would give me a better shot at getting Lennon to talk to me beforehand. Get her to forgive me. And if not, then hopefully either Isa’s plan or my performance will.

Besides, she gave all the performers VIP passes to the rest of the show, and it feels like it would be a waste not to use it. Even though she won’t talk to me right now, at least I can enjoy my day listening to some great music and knowing I’m helping raise money for a good cause.

When we make it to our trailer, I pull open the door and freeze, stunned by what I see inside.

To my left is a bowl of sour candy, a variety of brands and flavours, with a pack of Marlboro Blacks and a dark-red S.T. Dupont lighter sitting next to it. In the mini fridge is a case of Sprite Zero, twelve bottles of Fiji water, and apple juice boxes.

Just like I put in my rider.

“Sick, a colouring book!” Levi’s grin grows wide as he picks it and the markers up. “Damn, and she got a good one. Lemon’s the best.”

I roll my eyes at his nickname for her, but fuck if he’s not right. She is the best, and her including all the things from my rider just proves that.

He takes a seat on the opposite side of the table, where a record player sits with an original copy of Thorned Roses’ I Dare You album leaning against it. The bowl in front of that is filled to the brim with guitar picks, and a box of condoms is next to that.

Though those won’t be necessary without her.

When I sent her the rider, it wasn’t serious. I did it to get her attention, but being here now, seeing nearly every item on the list laid out in front of me, my heart sinks into my stomach.

It shouldn’t surprise me that even after everything, she made sure my trailer was stocked full of my pre-show routine items. Knowing she did all this for me despite how much pain I’ve caused only adds to how much I love her.

As I make my way through the trailer, I notice the only things from the list that are missing are the towels, the puppies and kittens—rightfully so, considering those were a joke—and the food.

And her.

As soon as I think it, the door swings open, and I spin around to find Lennon frozen in the entryway.

“Shit,” she mutters, her eyes widening slightly before she forces them downward and lets her chestnut-brown hair fall in beachy waves around her to block my view of her face.

She’s wearing an old Thorned Roses T-shirt that fits her like a dress, falling about mid-thigh, with fishnet tights and black Doc Martens. If I had to guess, I’d bet her usual leather jacket is around here somewhere, too, for when it cools down later tonight.

Fuck , it’s so good to see her.

“Sorry,” is all she says as she sets the stack of towels she’s holding on the counter next to the door. Then, before I can say anything, she turns and leaves.

I shove my way past Colt and out the door after her.

“Lennon!” I call out, and her feet stop moving. I approach her hesitantly, expecting her to turn around, but instead she keeps her gaze trained forward, refusing to look at me.

Not that I blame her, but fuck if it doesn’t hurt.

Taking another cautious step closer so I can see her side profile, I ask, “Will you please look at me, Lennon?” Her back is almost touching my front, but I make sure to keep a gap between us so I don’t make her uncomfortable, no matter how much I ache to touch her right now.

She inhales sharply when she notices my proximity, and her eyes fall shut. “No.”

My shoulders drop in resignation, but I don’t move.

“What are you doing here? You’re six hours early,” she asks, her voice breathy.

I sigh. “I wanted to see you. To talk to you.”

“I’m busy.” I barely catch the way her eyes flick down to the clipboard she had hidden under the stack of towels. “Your food will be delivered at seven thirty. Go enjoy the show, Baxter. I have things to do.”

And with that, she walks away.

Fuck.

“BLURRY” BY PUDDLE OF MUDD

“You have some nerve showing your face around here after all that’s happened,” a voice says from behind where I stand in the VIP section watching Julien Averies perform.

Before I even look, I know who it is. When I turn around, Paige glares at me, standing at the same height as her sister with the same chestnut-brown hair. Her arms are crossed over her chest, her hip cocked as the scowl on her face grows. She’s wearing a pair of leather shorts and a T-shirt that matches the one Lennon is wearing.

From the first day I met her, Paige Holbrook—previously Thorne—has intimidated the hell out of me. I’m not the kind of guy to scare easily, but something about Paige tells me she’s all bite and no bark.

Maybe it’s because she’s a criminal defense lawyer. She has a badass reputation, and I’m sure if she wanted to, she could easily dig up some dirt on me to ruin my chances with Lennon entirely.

If I haven’t already done that on my own.

But because of her job, she’s great at reading people. From day one, she’s been weary of me. The rest of Lennon’s family was welcoming when I met them, but Paige always looked at me as if she knew I was keeping something from them. She was right about that, which only makes me fear her more.

“Paige—” I begin, but she cuts me off .

“I knew you were bad news. I tried to tell Lennon, but she refused to hear it. Ever since the accident, I’ve been walking on eggshells around her, afraid that if I say one wrong thing, she’ll snap at me. So I let it go. If only I’d tried a bit harder, maybe I could’ve opened her eyes months ago and made her see how dangerous getting involved with someone like you would be.”

I frown, opening my mouth to defend myself, but she doesn’t give me the chance.

“You broke her heart. My strong, beautiful, independent sister, who has already been through enough in her life, let alone in this past year. She was finally doing better, and now she’s walking around like a lost puppy because she fell for the wrong guy—the guy who decided it would be best if no one in our family knew his brother was responsible for the deaths of our parents.”

I grit my teeth. “I swear I never meant to hurt her…hurt any of you. I can explain.”

She raises her brows. “Oh, can you?” Her tone drips with sarcasm. “I figured you would’ve done that by now if you had any valid excuse for hurting her the way you did. But you haven’t. So would you care to prove me wrong, or are you going to continue being exactly who we all thought you were?”

Holding strong, I exhale and calmly say, “All you need to know right now is that until the trial a few weeks back, I hadn’t spoken to Logan since I was twenty-one. For all intents and purposes, my brother , as you called him, has been dead to me for eleven years.”

She narrows her eyes, rolling her lips together as if she’s trying to decide if I’m telling the truth or not. A moment of silence passes between us, like she’s waiting for me to elaborate more, and when I don’t, her shoulders drop.

If I’m going to tell this story to anyone, it’s going to be to Lennon herself. Not to her sister, her brother, her best friend—not to anyone other than her .

She relents slightly. “I want to believe you. I’ve seen the way Lennon has changed since the accident, how she’s been healing, and I know a lot of that is thanks to you. She was so sad for so long, and rightfully so—we’ve all been struggling. But I was beginning to think she was never going to get better. Until you came around.”

She lets out a sigh, shaking her head. “I want to believe you had her best interest at heart, and I want to believe you aren’t actually the guy we’ve been made to believe you are over the years. But right now, I’m finding it difficult to believe anything you say. Until you come clean about everything, that’s not going to change. And even then, it’ll be up to Lennon to make the decision about whether she forgives you or not.”

“I know.”

She nods, her eyes scanning me. “Do you love her?”

Gritting my teeth, I jerk my head in a nod. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”

She relents even more, taking a step closer as she nods. “Then you need to figure out what’s more important to you—keeping your past with that bastard a secret, or getting her back.”

I shake my head. “There’s nothing to figure out. I’ll do anything to get her back.”

Her lip quirks up. “I hoped you’d say that. So tell her the truth, and then if—and that’s a big if —Lennon chooses to forgive you…Dylan and I will, too. But you have a lot of making up to do first.”

“Understood.”

She tilts her head down, turning her back to me. But before she leaves, she adds, “Hey, Baxter?”

“Yeah?”

“Please prove me wrong.”

I nod. “I plan to.”

Then she walks away.