Stick Play (Boston Bucks #4)

16. Ash

16

Ash

I drop down, sit on the hard tiled floor, and dip my hand into the warm, soapy water. I study the gorgeous curves of Gina’s face as her body relaxes. She takes a sip of wine, and puts it on the edge of the tub, to take my hand in hers. Our fingers automatically weave together, soft and rough joining as one. A new kind of tightness weaves its way around my chest, as I bring her hand to my lips for a soft kiss.

“You’re wondering what my dad was talking about, right?” I finally ask, breaking the quiet surrounding us.

She nods, her eyes narrowing as she studies me. “Yes, but if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I was just curious.”

The fact is, Gina was forthright and honest with me when I asked about Zoe’s father. I can’t deny that her openness, the trust she put in me with that disclosure meant something, and while I don’t talk about what happened with Liza, because it was nothing but bullshit. People judge anyway. Yet, something deep inside me lets me know, I won’t get that reaction from Gina.

“Last year, I was dating a woman who wanted to be famous.” Gina sits up a little straighter, her eyes meeting mine, fully interested and invested in what I have to say as I begin to open up. I snort out an uncomfortable laugh. “She was all over social media, posting numerous times a day, and I guess she thought that dating a hockey player was a great way to get attention. That’s why she latched onto me.”

“I’m sorry, Ash. It’s not fun to be used like that.”

“Oh, it gets better…or rather worse.” I pause for a second. “I liked her in the beginning. She came off sweet and kind, and well…she wasn’t at all who I thought she was.”

A garbled sound crawls out of her throat. “I know all about that.”

“Yeah, I know you do. Funny thing is, Dad could see right through her. I’m not sure how. Maybe that comes with age, or having experienced his own kind of betrayal.”

She nods in understanding. “Look at us, more alike than we ever thought and yes, betrayal does make you leery, and not quite as trusting.” I nod and groan as I shift on the floor. She crooks her finger. “Why don’t you get in here with me. There’s room.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, if you don’t want?—”

“I never said that,” I blurt out quickly and it brings a smile to her face. “But this bath was about you relaxing. You’ve had a busy day.”

“So did you and trust me, I’ll be more relaxed if I’m snuggled against you.” Since my body is tight, like it always is when I think about Liza, I decide it’s a good idea. And of course, it’s always a great idea to get naked with Gina. I stand, tug off my clothes and climb in behind her. She shifts forward to make room, and after I’m settled I pull her against me. As she nestles in, I run my hands through the water to create small waves. “Do you want to tell me more?” she asks.

I exhale and my body starts to relax. “I actually want to tell you everything.”

She glances at me, a small smile curving her beautiful lips that I really want to kiss. “I’m listening.”

“Like I said, at first, things with Liza were great. She was always taking pictures of us and I didn’t mind. It was the new stages of a relationship and lots of endorphins and I wanted her to be successful at her job.”

“Honeymoon stage. I get that. I also get that you wanted her to be successful. That makes you a good partner.”

“But she wasn’t getting the followers she wanted, and everyone seemed more interested in me, and what I was doing, than her.” She goes quiet and puts her hands on my thighs and gives a little squeeze. “Wait, do you know about any of this?” The truth is, she might already know the horrid details. It’s not talked about by the guys or the WAGs, they all know the truth, but the media frenzy around it was crazy at the time and it still comes up in interviews, which is why Coach told me to keep my head down and on the straight and narrow.

“No, not at all. I rarely go on social media. I only ever do pictures and updates on my café page.”

She takes my hands. “I want to hear the truth from you.” Her faith in me astounds me, especially after everything she’s been through. I can’t even begin to describe how that makes me feel.

I lay my head back and lightly run my fingers over her stomach. “When Liza wasn’t getting the comments and attention she needed, and her fans made it more about me, she turned on me.”

Her hands tighten around mine. “What did she do?”

“She used her audience to spread lies about me. She said I was abusive, a drunk driver, and that I was banging multiple ‘young’ girls at once.” I hold her gaze, gauging her reaction. What I see is hurt and sorrow, not fear or belief. It prompts me to continue. “People love drama, Gina. God, they fucking love to get the dirt on people, especially people in the public eye, like hockey players. Those posts started getting her the attention she needed. At first, I didn’t even know she was saying horrible things about me. It was done behind my back. We were still seeing each other. It was Brighton who told me.”

“Brighton knew the truth.”

It’s a statement, not a question and it speaks volumes. Gina believes me, too. “Then the news channels started following me around, asking questions, and making me look pretty damn bad in the public’s eyes.”

“That must have been horrible, Ash. No one has said anything to me. I’m not sure I would have believed it anyway.”

“We don’t talk about it, and they all believe me, and take my side. If they didn’t, if someone in the group thought I did those horrible things, I’m sure they would have whispered warning words or something to you.”

“Maybe not.” She widens her legs and as I glance at her beautiful body, my cock twitches against her back. “No one knows what’s going on between us.”

“Right.” I resist the urge to ask exactly what is going on between us. Friends with benefits is one thing, but I’ve never spilled my guts to anyone outside my teammates before.

We remain quiet for a long time, just enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. I run my fingers over her body and soft moans escape her lips. “Ash, is this why I’ve not seen you out with anyone?”

“Yeah.” She turns sympathetic eyes on me, and falls silent, like she’s waiting for me to say more. “I’m not good with relationships. My relationship with Liza really opened my eyes to how I was living my life and who I was dating. It turns out everyone wanted something from me.”

“I was wondering what you meant when you told your dad he knew where you stood on relationships. I understand now, and I understand being scared to try again, because betrayal really hurts. But there could be a woman out there for you. I don’t think all women go after hockey players because they want something. Look at Melanie, Brighton, Josie, and Maeve. All amazing, strong women.”

I go quiet, and she leaves me with my thoughts for a moment. After a while, I explain, “I don’t know what I did to make my mom leave. Do you have those thoughts too?”

She turns in the tub and faces me. “I do, but after having a child of my own, I learned it was her, not me. I love Zoe with all my heart and keeping her safe, protected and loved is the most important thing in my life. Nothing would ever make me leave her. Mom had problems. I guess yours did too.” Her hands cup my face. “You can’t blame yourself, Ash. Honestly, I can’t understand how Lucian didn’t want anything to do with Zoe. He had two kids, sure. But to simply discard the third one, it's cruel.”

“It is cruel.” Maybe she’s right about all this. Maybe it had more to do about my mother than it had to do with me. “I had Dad,” I murmur, and even to my own ears, I can hear the love and fondness in my voice.

“You’re a great man, Ash.”

My heart swells as a new kind of lightness comes over me. “He did good, huh?”

“He did good. You did good too.”

I splash the water. “Jesus, now I’m going to have to give him the family he wants.”

“No, you can’t have a family to please your dad.” She pokes my chest. “You have a family because it’s what you want.”

Is that what I want? Do I want a family of my own? Am I too much of a chicken shit to open myself up again?

She turns back around, picks up her wine and lays against me. A soft sigh escapes her lips. “Gina.”

“Hmm.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Meaning?”

“You said you understand being scared because betrayal really hurts. What about you? You seem to be in the same position.”

“It’s different for me. I have a child. I have to be careful she doesn’t get attached and then discarded.” I digest her words, and for some reason they gut me a little. “Also, I’m a ready-made family, and finding a guy who wants that…won’t be so easy.” A small laugh that holds no humor escapes her throat. “I mean, who wants to hang out with someone who does old lady mother things,” she adds, calling on Callie’s cruel words.

“Jesus, you’re not that much older than her, and if what we’ve been doing is old lady things…” I slide my hand over her stomach and reach up to cup one of her breasts. “Then bring it on.”

She moans as I lightly brush my thumb over her nipple, but I don’t want to start anything with her tonight. No wait, that’s not true, I’m desperate to put my cock in her, but she’s had a long day and needs a good night’s sleep.

I kiss the top of her head, breathing in the sweet scent of her shampoo, and when the water begins to get cool, I shift, lifting her from my body. She sits up, and I push to my feet, pulling her up with me.

“Come on. It’s getting chilly, and I don’t want you getting sick. One sick person in the house is enough.”

She laughs at my joke. “First, you can’t get sick from cool water, and second, the sick person in the house is faking it.” She smiles up at me. “It’s nice how he cares so much about you, Ash, and really, he only wants what’s best.”

He thinks Gina is best for you, dude.

I grab a towel and wrap it around her. Dad was right about one thing, though. He did warn me about Liza. He saw things I didn’t see. Maybe it’s because of his experiences with Mom leaving. I don’t know, but he saw the signs, and I didn’t listen. I’m certainly not going to listen to him this time either. Gina’s not interested in more. She just told me that, when she said it was different for her because she had a child.

“Stay put,” I order in a soft voice as she hugs the towel to herself. I grab another and quickly dry off and when I’m done, I pick her clear off her tired feet, and carry her to my bed. I set her down for a second, and pull the covers back. “Don’t move.”

“My, you’re awfully bossy tonight.”

I hurry back to the bathroom and grab my old jersey. Back in the bedroom, I step up to her and pull it over her head. She finds the arm holes and once it’s on her, I step back and my heart beats a little faster.

“I like you in my clothes,” I explain when her brows raise. “If you ever come to a game, you could wear it.”

“Aren’t there enough girls at the game wearing your number, Mountain?”

“None of them look as good in it as you do.” She crawls into bed and I double check the lock on the door. I don’t need any little ones catching us sleeping together, and I’ll set my alarm early to take her back to her own bed.

I slip in beside her and pull her to me. She snuggles against me, her back to my chest and I drape one arm over her body. She laces her fingers with mine, and I really fucking hope she can’t feel how hard my heart is pounding.

“Come to Thursday’s game?”

“I don’t have a sitter, remember. Margo is with her family.”

“Bring Zoe. She’d love it. I’m sure Camryn and Tate will be there.”

“But what if…” She nibbles her lip as she crinkles her nose. “We don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea.”

“No, we don’t. I don’t want that either,” I agree, not bothering to explain that Coach would kill me.

“With Zoe…it’s. just…I don’t want her to think…”

“It doesn’t have to be anything more than taking your daughter to a game to see her manny play hockey, Gina.”

She chuckles at that, and my gut tightens, because yeah, maybe I want it to be more than that.

Fuck.