Stranded for Christmas with my Boss (Forbidden Billionaire Boss Daddies)

18. Jensen

Chapter eighteen

Jensen

T he next morning, despite getting less sleep than usual, I show up at work early, a strong urge filling my chest.

Thanks to my racing mind last night, I couldn’t fall asleep, getting far too swept up in complicated thoughts with no clear answers.

What am I going to do about my deepening bond with Alyssa? How can I put my full focus on the app update as Christmas creeps closer and closer? And finally…what the hell are my parents up to?

It’s a question that I ask myself often. Even after they neglected Holly and me in favor of their raging emotions and vicious heartbreak, they are still my parents. I still wonder about them, curious about their lives now that Holly and I are gone.

Due to last night’s conversation with Alyssa, I can’t get that thought out of my mind.

I stare at the empty search engine on my computer screen, my fingertips drumming against the surface of my desk. That tug of curiosity doesn’t relent, prodding my brain with insistence. Have my parents changed?

There is only one way to find out.

I go to Facebook and type in my mother’s name first, knowing that she’ll be more active and will share more posts than my father. I would be surprised if he even has a Facebook account in the first place.

My mother pops up at the top of the search results, my breath hitching at the tiny preview of her profile picture that shows her, another man, and three young kids. Disbelief coils around my heart, tension gripping my chest. I click on her profile, bringing up pictures and posts about how much she loves her husband and kids. Their kids.

She has a whole new family.

A dry, humorless laugh puffs out of me as I search for my father, finding an account that’s shared by him and his new wife. She’s pregnant with a baby boy on the way.

After destroying their first family, they finally split apart and started new, happy families without even bothering to check on their first set of kids. Deep down, I had a feeling this was the case. Of course, they would better themselves after Holly and I left the house.

Now, I know for certain. They truly never cared about us. They were too swept up in their own emotions, their own relationship, and their own troubles.

I close out my browser and lean back in my chair, shaking my head. That’s why I haven’t checked up on them in years. I knew I wouldn’t like what I saw.

In the midst of my disappointment and frustration, I find myself wishing Alyssa was here in my office with me. Now, that is a curveball. My relationship with my parents is one of my most vulnerable spots, my Achilles’ heel.

Yet, I exposed it to her last night, and the biggest shock is that I don’t regret it. In fact, it was a relief to tell her. To shift some of the hidden weight off my shoulders. I feel lighter today, even after what I just discovered.

A faint but steadily building glow blooms in the dark depths of my chest. I breathe in deeply, rubbing my hand over the front of my dark blue suit jacket. It’s a sensation that I’m not familiar with.

Hell, it makes me nervous, but there is a part of me that welcomes it. It doesn’t feel like something bad, but can’t that be said about a lot of things that are actually not good for you?

My thoughts trail off for longer than I realized because a light knock on my door frame rouses me abruptly.

“Jensen?”

I raise my eyes, spotting Alyssa in the doorway with a curious look on my face. I’m doing way too much damn thinking this early in the morning. “Yeah? Everything okay?”

Her mouth curls up a little at the sides as she strides closer to my desk, her hair falling in waves over the shoulders of her long-sleeved, red dress. Well, doesn’t she look like a present ready to be unwrapped? “Everything is good. I just wanted to remind you that the company meeting is starting soon. Everyone will be gathered in the main lounge.”

Oh, right. I’m hosting a company-wide meeting to boost everyone’s morale for the remainder of December. We’re coming up on the wire soon, and as Christmas festivities heighten, our determination to get finished in time for the holidays peaks as well. We must get done before Christmas.

“How is your door?” I ask her as I stand from my desk, slowly roaming around the side of it to get closer to her.

My mind drifts to last night, painting a picture with strokes of ecstasy, honesty, and vulnerability. It was a night I wouldn’t soon forget.

I wonder…does she feel the same way?

Alyssa joins her hands in front of her and nods. “It’s great. Thank you again.”

“Anytime.”

Something sparks in her eyes, the air between us growing a degree warmer. We both clearly remember what started in her kitchen and ended in her bedroom. A heated kiss. A joining of bodies. Skin against skin.

She knows what’s on my mind, and I know what’s on hers.

What I don’t know is how she feels about last night. As much as I want to regret our intimate moments, I can’t find it within myself to wish they never happened. Plus, if I went back in time, I would still succumb to every little desire I have for her.

When have I truly been able to resist them? And what the hell do I do about that?

What we have sizzling between us is going to explode at some point, and I don’t expect the aftermath to be pretty.

After a few moments of tension, Alyssa merely smiles and crooks her finger, motioning for me to follow her out of my office.

A light smirk crosses my face, but I adjust my tie and trail her, putting my mind back on business. There isn’t much free time to sit around and tease each other when the first of January looms just around the corner. Given how close she is to her parents, I suspect that she would rather spend time with them than with me at the office.

She would probably be great company on Christmas. She seems like the type who embraces all the little traditions: baking cookies, decorating the tree, playing Santa, and handing out gifts.

The person who radiates Christmas spirit.

I haven’t ever really been around someone like that, but I can’t think of anyone else who would light up the holidays like her.

Once I enter the large lounge area where there is plenty of standing room and a few sofas and chairs to sit in, I make my way to the back where everyone can see me. I give my employees polite nods as I weave through all of them packed inside the room, noticing some sluggishness from a decent amount of them.

Now that we’re approaching the homestretch, burnout is becoming an issue. I understand their tiredness. I’m staying behind at the office most nights to wrap up work or to get a head start on the next day’s workload. We’re in this tough period together.

But we’re getting so damn close to the finish line. We just have to dig in.

“Good morning, everyone,” I say, projecting my voice so that everyone can hear me, even if they’re out in the hallway.

A chorus of responses echoes throughout the room.

My eyes sweep over them, glancing over the faces of department managers to assistants. Rank doesn’t matter at times like these. We’re all busting our asses, and we all started out at the bottom.

“First off, I want to thank all of you for your hard work. I see every single one of you putting your all into your jobs,” I tell them, my eyes eventually seeking out Alyssa through the crowd as she stands near Josh, the CMO.

Given the enormous amount of marketing work that Josh’s department has had to do lately, I sent Alyssa to help out with a few tasks every other day just to lessen some of the load. Plus, she has a knack for marketing and promotion work, so it benefits everyone. Josh has been more than happy to have her help out.

“We’re approaching our last week of work before Christmas break. As I’ve told you before, I want everyone to have a few days off for the holidays, but that means we need everything ready to go by the end of the day on the twenty-third,” I remind everyone, seeing a few nods. The department heads and I have been very clear when it comes to the schedule and what we need to get done by what day. “This last week has to count. This is the biggest update to Soul Flames yet, so we’re making company history. You’re making company history.”

Alyssa smiles at me, giving me a subtle nod.

Just that look makes my heart rate kick up a notch. The corner of my mouth turns up a little, but I keep going through my speech, having to tear my eyes away from her. “When the update drops smoothly, everyone will be generously rewarded. This coming year will be the best one yet. We just have to keep working together and moving forward.”

My speech energizes the room—one last push before we reach the finish line. We’ve come too far to stop now.

Promotions. Pay raises. More vacation days.

If they’re happy, the company thrives, which makes me happy. It’s a circle.

“Let’s get to work,” I say as I place my hands on my waist.

A ripple of agreement passes through the crowd before people start pouring out of the lounge room to get back to work. I exhale slowly, my shoulders loosening up a little. Hopefully, we can get through the last work week in one piece.

I speak with a few people on their way out, my eyes straying to Alyssa as she finishes talking to Josh. When my last conversation with the head of HR ends, I turn in her direction, eager to ask her how she thinks the meeting went. I saw more liveliness out in the crowd after my speech, so I can only hope at least some people feel more motivated than before.

However, Austin steps in front of my line of sight as he approaches me, making Alyssa freeze before leaving the room. We’ve both agreed to be distant toward each other in front of Austin, even if that sucks. He’s my best friend. I should be open with him, but he can’t know that we’ve been defying him.

“Can I talk to you real quick?” Austin asks me as he steps closer to me, glancing behind him to make sure everyone has cleared out for the most part.

A sense of wariness looms over me as I detect stark seriousness in his tone, but I put on a casual grin and nod. “What’s on your mind, Austin?”

Austin rubs his stubbled jaw, hesitating for a few seconds before speaking. “You kept looking at her.”

Oh, come on.

“Who?”

Austin gives me a sharp look. “Don’t play stupid with me, Jay. Alyssa! You were eyeing her during your speech.”

“Because she was toward the front. I was eyeing everyone,” I tell him with a faint scoff, refusing to roll over and give in this time. I have to stand my ground and lie to his face, even if it makes me sick to my stomach. “It’s polite to look at people when you’re talking to them.”

Austin doesn’t look all that convinced as he sighs. “So, nothing is going on between you two anymore?”

“Come on, man. Barely anything was going on before. We just had sex once or twice,” I reply, hating the words seeping out of my mouth. It’s not just sex, but he can’t know that her hooks are buried twice as deep as that. “Can we drop this? I’m focused on the app update. Are you?”

Austin’s jaw tenses, but he nods. “Yeah, I am. Forget I brought it up.”

My eyes narrow a degree as they follow him all the way out of the room until I’m all alone. I let out a sharp exhale, tension crackling beneath my shoulders once more. I can’t deal with his overly watchful eye on top of the confusion I already feel about Alyssa.

On top of the January update.

Holy shit. How high up are all of my plates stacked at this point?

And I have to buy Christmas presents!

I pinch the bridge of my nose as a tired sigh drifts from me. I should really focus on the time-sensitive things first, but no matter how hard I try, Alyssa keeps breaking into my mind. She consumes my thoughts, her allure twining around my heart and pulling tight.

There is no escape from the magnetic pull between us unless I sever everything else between us completely. But after all we’ve been through together, can I really do that?