Stuck in Paradise with You

Chapter 20

20

LUKE

Something is happening to me. Either I have a tummy bug, or my jellyfish sting – which, for the record, did freaking kill and has left whip marks across my thigh and torso – has caused lasting damage to my internal organs, or I’ve suddenly developed seasickness after years of sailing. Or something far worse has my stomach twisting and flipping and turning.

We’re all back on Charithonia, having been dropped to the beach by the tenders, making our way up to the main terrace back at Chateau Hettich, and though I’m talking to Toby, who is perched on my shoulders as I climb the steps up the rock face, I can’t help replaying Joe’s words to me back on the boat.

I’ve seen fewer fireworks on New Year’s Eve than you and Carrie set off when you’re together.

She sure does bring out a hot-headed version of me. In fact, I can’t wait until she’s gone later and I can resume my peaceful existence.

I’m just fine without Carrie in my life.

Totally fine.

I’ve been fine for seven years.

But since Joe asked the question – ‘Are you fighting over the past, the present or your future?’ – I don’t know, it’s just sort of stuck with me.

It isn’t the future. It can’t be the future. There is no future for Carrie and me. She made sure there never could be; that’s what wrecked me so much. She’s part of a past box that was neatly compartmentalized from my present.

Except now she’s here because of flipping Eric’s stomach flu and the box is open. Its contents are spilling all over my present.

And like Joe said through a mouthful of banana bread, ‘Regardless of which it is, you owe it to yourself to find out.’

He’s right, I think.

But I don’t know if I have the courage it would take to delve into the depths of the box.

We reach the top of the stairs and there’s a shift in the jovial mood of the adults among us.

Henry hands Carrie her heavy bag, which he’s carried up for her, and he flashes her the kind of smile a guy would brandish in the middle of a sorority full of chicks on spring break.

You’re just a kid , I want to scream. An extremely buff kid.

But actually, he isn’t much different in age to Carrie when I fell for her. Damn it. The sooner she leaves, the better, if not only to spare me wanting to put superglue on Henry’s seat the next time we have dinner together.

Jenny cuts through my spiteful thoughts. ‘We’ll wait for confirmation from the pilot, then Henry and I will come and get you to take you by boat to Tortola.’

Carrie thanks them both. She starts thanking everyone for making her feel welcome – avoiding looking at me, I’m sure – and damn it, even the dogs look sad.

She wasn’t supposed to be here! I want to scream.

But I don’t. Instead, I subtly shift away from the group and as soon as I’m through the archway of the terrace and onto the main pathway through the resort, I pick up my walking pace, heading directly for the sanctity of my pod.

I want her to go.

I’ve wanted nothing more than for her to exit my life as swiftly as she was pulled back into it for the last three days.

But now that she’s going… I can’t bring myself to say goodbye.