Stuck in Paradise with You

Chapter 28

28

CARRIE

It’s been a day already, and when we get back to Joe’s island, we still have work to do. Yet I can’t say it’s been entirely unenjoyable. Jenny is great company, Joe is bizarre in a truly warm-spirited way – in fact, everyone I’ve spoken with today has been bubbly, unexpectedly light and happy, and they’ve made the day fly.

More than anything – though I despise myself for even admitting it – I’ve enjoyed moments with Joe. Like flashbacks into the past, the way we used to laugh and joke together, torment each other. I’ve found myself wanting to be around him.

I know it isn’t him now that I’m interested in. It can’t be. Too much hurt and pain have passed between us. But the old him, the old us , before everything imploded, God , I’m pining after him.

We pull into Leverick Bay and the water is much calmer here than I was expecting. From Joe’s relay of Henry’s call, I was anticipating a tsunami or something. Don’t get me wrong, it’s choppy enough to test my constitution, but it’s not horrific here in the bay.

Our group has left the truck and waved goodbye to Roy’s father-in-law, whose sentimental moment with Roy amounted to a stoic pat on the back and telling him, ‘I’ll see you for dominoes and a rum when the fat lady passes.’

We’ve increased our numbers by one mom and an adorable baby and we’re all standing around, making small talk, waiting for the other truck to arrive. The docked boats look different to when we turned up this morning and I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I think it’s more lines between the boats and the dock, the boats and the boats. Everything seems more secure.

Though it defies belief, with my sweaty clothes sticking to me, the wind picking up and the thick cloud cover, I’m actually cold in the Caribbean.

‘Are you okay?’ Luke asks, coming to my side, so close as he speaks, his chest is grazing my shoulder.

For an insane nanosecond, I want to tell him I’m cold, to ask him to fold me into his arms and warm me up, the way I would have when we slipped beneath the cold covers in his apartment at night. The way I used to.

Instead, I nod, but the way his deep brown eyes penetrate me is as much of an embrace as if I had asked for him to hold me.

For the first time today, I’m grateful when my cellphone starts to ring in my pocket. Taking it out, more of me rubs against Luke and I try hard to ignore the sparks my body remembers, that my mind wants to forget.

‘You should get that,’ Luke tells me, glancing at my screen. ‘You’ve been ignoring calls all day and we might lose signal tomorrow. Who knows for how long. Things out here don’t repair quickly and Charithonia won’t be a priority for the local handymen.’

I lick my dry lips, swallow against my dry throat and I think I manage a stiff nod before accepting my boss’s call.

‘Rachel, hi.’ Holding the phone to my ear, I move away from the group, holding my hand over the handset to shield from the noise of the wind. ‘How are you?’

‘How am I , Carrie? How am I? How are you ?’

Rachel is usually calm and composed, not fazed by much in my experience, so to hear the frantic tone of her voice instantly puts me on edge.

‘Rachel, I’m fine, I promise. I’m sorry I haven’t been very responsive on emails and answering calls; I’ve been helping with storm preparations all day and?—’

‘Carrie, I don’t give two hoots about your emails. I can deal with those from here. I care about you .’

‘You do?’ Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. A category five hurricane is sort of bad. Understatement of the century. And I am her employee. Yet I am surprised, because work is work. I’ve never been asked how I am and the person actually mean the question in the office. All I’ve done is fight to be heard, to set my story straight. This is new.

‘Of course I do.’ I feel like she’s pacing. I don’t know why, I just get the sense she’s walking lines up and down her very plush corner office. ‘I feel like this is all my fault, Carrie. I’m so sorry, I should never have sent you there.’

‘Rachel, this is my job ; I’m pleased you sent me here.’ For some reason, my eyes flick across to Luke and I find him already looking at me. ‘You weren’t to know about the storm and you weren’t to know I’d get stuck here. In any event, Joe’s assured me everything is going to be fine and I genuinely believe him. He has a safe bunker, which I think is probably more like a kidnap hideaway, but I’m told it’s a concrete basement that’s half the size of a house and done out like a bachelor dungeon. I won’t be alone.’

Rachel’s sigh is so loud, I hear it above the island’s breeze. ‘Let’s talk when you get back to New York. I need to explain a few things. But for now, Joe is looking after you, right?’

‘One hundred percent. He’s great.’

‘And… and Luke? How are things with him? Is he looking out for you?’

I feel a frown crease the skin between my eyes and glance back across to Luke, who is now in conversation with Roy. He has been looking out for me, actually, more than I would have expected, given how much we rile each other up and the fact he walked away from any want to enter into a relationship where we would care for each other once upon a time. But as I’m thinking that, I’m also wondering why Rachel is asking.

Of course, he’s the CFO of the Hettich group. She asked about Joe. I’m reading something into something that doesn’t exist.

Unless Joe has told her about Luke and me, but why would he? And she’s never, not in all the time I’ve been at the firm, mentioned that she’d heard anything on the grapevine, though it’s possible.

‘Ah, yeah, he’s keeping an eye on things, too, I guess.’

‘Carrie, stay safe, okay? We’re going to talk properly in a couple of days. If there’s anything I can do for you…’

‘Maybe just keep an eye on my inbox, please, Rachel. I’m going to set an automatic reply for my emails but if the phonelines go down here, then?—’

‘I’m not referring to work, Carrie. I’m asking as a friend, not your boss.’

Huh .

‘That’s—’ A friend? At work? Who’s my boss? Well, today is full of lots of unintended consequences; what’s one more? ‘Thank you. Maybe that catch up should be over a glass of wine.’

‘I can’t think of any better way to hear all about it.’

When I head back to the group, the second truck is arriving with the others.

‘Everything okay?’ Luke asks.

I can feel confusion in my expression that morphs into something much more contented when his arm kisses my shoulder.

‘Yeah, actually. More than okay.’

I was wrong. The water isn’t reasonably calm. It’s rough as hell.

As soon as Henry navigates us out of the bay, the waves become fierce, rocking Monique into me and me into Joe, like we’re dominoes.

The sound alone is like the ocean is angry with us for being here. Despite the number of bodies onboard and Henry’s experience driving, each rise over water brings the boat crashing down the other side.

Luke and Roy have flanked Henry at the steering wheel and I can make out above the sound of the water and the engine that they’re helping him navigate the treacherous path back to Charithonia.

I hear them without looking because my hands are glued to the bench seat either side of my hips; my knuckles must be white, my grip is so tight, and I’m immensely grateful for the life vest Luke made me wear, though I’d looked to the sky when he gave me what felt like an order.

Make sure Joe and Luke look after you , Rachel told me on the phone. Her words are the main reason I didn’t have some sarcastic retort to Luke.

My hair and body are saturated with sea spray and from wild sloshes of water coming across the bow and over the sides of the boat. I’m wearing shades, not because it’s sunny – it isn’t, the sky is dark and threatening – but to try to keep the salt water from hitting my eyes directly.

Through the fogged and wet lenses, my attention is fixed on Lola, Roy’s sister, and her newborn baby. I’m terrified for them, so I can’t imagine how Lola is feeling. She’s sitting on the opposite side of the boat, directly across from me, and I’m mentally figuring out how to safely take the steps between us to sit with her and help her, somehow. Help cradle the baby. Help pin down Lola to the seat.

With the next wave, Lola is lifted into the air an inch or two and she lets out a short scream. I don’t have time to think about the how, I just rise from my seat and try to step forward. But I stumble, the boat thrashing around in the water, and I fall back into my spot. Thankfully, Dave – big Dave, the security guy – side shuffles closer to Lola, and though it doesn’t stop her from crying, it must make her feel safer that he wraps an arm around her and tucks her and her baby into his big frame. Just the sight of it has made me feel better.

I’m so busy watching Lola, I don’t notice that Joe has switched places with Luke, not until Luke is sitting next to me and sliding his arm around my waist. Just like Dave did for Lola, Luke tugs me against him and as I reposition myself to see his face, I find wide brown eyes piercing mine, so intense and full of concern that even the unruly sea seems to still for a moment.

Where Luke’s body holds mine, there’s an undeniable connection that’s way beyond physical. A chemical reaction. A fusion by which the sum of our parts is vastly more than just him and me. He brings his hand to my sodden cheek, rubbing away soaked hair from my skin with his thumb.

‘Don’t try that again, do you hear me?’

I swallow deeply because, despite how sopping wet every part of my body is, my throat is parched.

There is no impending storm, no rough seas, no background noise. Just us . Luke and me, caught in a moment I don’t want to get out of, even if it scares me more than any of those other things.

Because there is something in his hold, in his demand and his urgency, in the way he looks at me, that’s reminiscent of the way he used to look at me. The way he could make me feel like nothing and no one else in the world mattered.

I want it back. In these still seconds, I want us back, I want him back.

I want it all so much, it physically hurts beneath my ribcage.

I don’t think I can breathe as I watch his Adam’s apple move when he swallows, his chest rise and fall where he should be wearing a life vest, the way he doesn’t let go of my face but his gaze falls to my lips.

And I think… kiss me, Luke. Kiss me .

The next wave lifts the boat into the air and crashes us down, turning us sideways from where we started. It throws Luke’s hand from my face to my body and he holds me down into my seat.

‘We’re nearly back,’ he reassures me. ‘You’re doing great.’

‘I’m not a novice,’ I tell him, forcing a tight turn of my lips. ‘I’ve been on a sunset sail before, I’ve been on a glass-bottomed boat, even a boat club on the Hudson. This is a walk in the park.’

But when he full blown beams at me and tugs my head under his chin, I do feel happier, lighter, less afraid.