Succeeding Love

Déjà Vu

I pulled my hand out of his, taking a step back. “Excuse me?!” I felt like a trout, opening and closing my mouth in stunned anger. First, he had an issue with me driving back with Vin, and now he’s trying to prevent me from going to lunch with him. “Where do you get off trying to keep me from spending time with the man I’m seeing? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Now, wait,” he tried to push inside the house, but I stayed firmly in place, blocking him. “Let’s talk about this inside.”

“No! I already told you I’m not comfortable being alone with you right now and there’s no reason for you to come into my house.”

“Our house,” he tried to correct me.

“My house!” I snapped back. “It’s mine, free and clear, after you left it. I’m sorry your relationship with Arlene went south, but quit trying to get in the way of mine.”

“That’s …” He pulled at the hair on top of his head, taking a few frustrated steps back, then coming to face me again. “I’m trying to tell you I want you back, Feighlynn! I mean, damn, I made a fucking mistake! I should have never left you! I realized it the second I did I was making the wrong choice. I should have chosen you!”

A cold, tense silence stretched between us. Again, angry shock made my entire body go rigidly tense. How dare he. After all this time, how dare he try something like this? I sat back and pretended everything was completely okay when he ran off to be with his mistress. I never tried to stop him or guilt him into staying. How dare he think he has any right to stop me from moving on?

“So now that things aren’t working out with your girlfriend, you’re wanting to come back to me? Is that what this is?” I felt the icy venom in my tone. I didn’t care.

“No,” he quickly shook his head, trying to reach out to me again. I jerked away, avoiding his touch. The pain that flashed in his eyes had no effect on me. “No, Fay. That’s not it. I realized my mistake the second I left this house. I knew Arlene wasn’t what I really wanted. I knew it was always you. All I’m asking for now is a second chance.”

“You’re crazy.” He had to be clinically insane to be pulling this stunt right now.

“I might be crazy, but that’s because I’m still in love with you. You’re still my wife.”

“Your wife?!” I scoffed. “We divorced. I am no longer your wife and your mistakes are no longer my concern.”

“Please Fay,” there were tears in his eyes now, but again, it didn’t move me at all. I felt nothing but bitterness for this man. “There has to be something left in you. Some part of you that still loves me.”

“Not a single cell in my body still loves you, Nick. Not one,” I said coldly. “I know I’ve been amicable through the whole divorce. I’ve played nice and I’ve been the one to bend through it all. I tried to make things as easy as possible and remain as civil as possible. But none of those things I did for your sake. Not one. I did those things for the sake of my kids. If you somehow mistook my friendliness and civility as any affection I might have left for you, I’m sorry. All my affection died for you the moment that you confirmed you cheated on me. There’s no way I was ever going to recover from that with you. Now, if you excuse me, I have a date to get to.”

With that, I calmly, but firmly, shut the door on his shocked face, picked up my stuff, and headed for the garage.

As I was pulling away, I saw Nick sitting on the top step of my porch, his head in his hands as his shoulders shook. I felt no remorse. No regret. Nothing but anger for the fickle, cowardly man that once again tried to steal my blooming happiness because of his own selfish agenda.

~

Vin

“Is everything okay?” I whispered in Lynn’s ear.

She smiled up at me, nodding her head. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Lynn was already here waiting by the time me and my new colleagues arrived. She had gotten a table and was just waiting in the front as they set it up, pulling three tables together to accommodate all of us.

I saw her through the glass doors before we came in, and I could tell right away that something was wrong. She was staring down at the ground with none of her adorable quirks showing. She was singing to herself, or talking excitedly to the hostess, or even looking at her phone with that cute look of concentration she gets whenever she was going through emails or texts. She was just staring blankly at the ground, no emotion at all on her beautiful face.

When we walked in, she instantly perked up, acting like her usual self, but I knew her well enough now to notice the tension in her movements and the way her smile seemed forced. I don’t know what changed in the time I left her this morning, but something did, and it is worrying me.

I couldn’t press her here, so I just kept a hand on her thigh as we sat with Milton and Jerry, and five of the other security officers I’ll be working with.

“What are you two lovebirds whispering about over there?” Milton asked, hiding his smile behind his draft beer.

“Mind your business,” I retorted, squeezing Lynn’s thigh one last time before wrapping my arm around the back of her chair.

Lynn just laughed softly, her smile still not fully reaching her eyes and making them crinkle in the corners like they usually do.

“If this dude ever gives you a hard time, Lynn, let me know and I’ll set him straight for you,” Milton snorted.

“Sure you would,” Jerry patted his shoulder, then winked at Lynn. It made her giggle, which I appreciated.

“Y’all are funny,” she said as she leaned into me. “So, you and Vin were in the Army together?”

“We grew up together,” Milton said. “We joined the Army together, but I got out as soon as I could. This mother fucker became a lifer. He was made for the military. Mr. Tried and Trude.”

“Don’t start with that shit again,” I muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed, and maybe nervous. I didn’t know what kind of shit was about to come out of Milton’s mouth.

“Tried and Trude?” Lynn looked curiously up at me.

“Tried and Trude the prude,” Milton started snorting, laughing.

“You’re a prude, huh?” Lynn smiled, and this time it reached her eyes, making my heart beat rapidly at how breathtaking she looked. “I never would have pegged you as a prude.”

“Oh, ho, ho,” Milton snickered loudly. “So his junk does still work?”

“Shut the fuck up!” I threw my napkin across the table at him.

Lynn was full on laughing now, lighting up the entire restaurant. Gawd, she looks the prettiest when she’s laughing.

“Look at you,” Milton scoffed. “I’m glad Trude finally found a woman that can make him smile like that.”

Fuck, I probably looked like a fool just now, staring at her like I was. I couldn’t help it.

Lynn blushed, looking at me from the corner of her eyes with a shy little smile. I don’t care if I look like a fool anymore. How could I not be infatuated with a woman like her?

Milton asked Lynn questions about her work, getting to know her more while I talked to Jerry and the officers I would work closest with. I still had my arm around Lynn, and she was still leaning into me, but it felt so natural that we easily carried on our separate conversations.

“Jeez, I swear you look so familiar,” Lynn said to Milton at some point. “The more we talk, the more I get this sense of déjà vu.”

Milton’s smile faltered for a second before he pasted it back on. “We might have met a few times in the past. At city events and such.”

Lynn quirked her head to the side, tilting it adorably as she thought deeply for a few seconds. And then it was like something just dawned on her.

“Oh,” she whispered. “Huh.”

Her eyes quickly flashed to me before looking away, and then she put back on that forced smile.

“Small world,” she whispered.

“Not too small.” Milton seemed apologetic somehow. “Kevin is a good guy. I’m happy for you both.”

She nodded, looking much like she did when we first showed up. Her smile wasn’t reaching her eyes again.

I was curious about what they were talking about now. It was clear they had met before, but judging by the mood, I knew not to bring it up in front of others or ask questions. Luckily, Milton was already giving me that look, saying he would fill me in on everything after this.

When everyone finished eating, Milton and I battled it out for the tab. He won, saying he would just take it out of my first paycheck.

“I guess I’ll see you later,” Lynn said to me as she stood from her chair, getting her purse from the back of it and putting it over her shoulder.

“Let me walk you to your car.” I rested my hand on her back. I then looked at Milton. “I’ll be right back.”

He nodded, already knowing I wanted to talk to him before heading back to work.

Lynn thanked Milton, then said bye to everyone else before I escorted her outside.

“Where are you parked?” I asked as she fished her keys from her purse.

“Right there,” she pushed the button on the remote, unlocking her SUV parked on the street a few spaces from the front of the restaurant. “Thanks for lunch. I had fun.” She wrapped her arms around my waist, giving me a quick hug.

I held her in place before she could pull away from me. I waited for her to stare up at me with a curious expression before I again asked, “Is everything okay?”

Her smile fell a little, then she bit her bottom lip. “Was I acting weird? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I squeezed her waist. “I’m just concerned, babe. You weren’t your normal happy self.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, resting her chin on my chest as she stared up at me. She looked like she was debating on telling me something, her mouth opening and closing every few seconds. Then she finally told me what had happened. “Nick showed up at my house right as I was leaving. He just…. He just really got under my skin.”

“How?” I asked flatly, trying not to show my irritation, but I knew it was leaking through. I wasn’t irritated with her, just with her ex, that seems to show up every time we have plans together. It’s starting to really piss me off.

“I can tell you about it later. I told him off pretty good before shutting the door in his face, so hopefully it won’t happen again.”

That small explanation did nothing to quell my irritation, but I didn’t want to press her if she wasn’t ready to tell me.

“Can you text me when you’re ready to walk Kevin tonight? You can tell me then?”

She bit her lip and nodded. There was worry on her face, and all I wanted to do was kiss it away until she was giggling again. Then I wanted to go find her ex and put him six feet under.

I settled on kissing her, deeply but quickly, since the others were filtering out of the restaurant now.

“I’ll see you later.” I kissed her one last time before closing her door.

I stood on the sidewalk and waved back at her as she drove away. I had so many thoughts running through my head, many of them murderous. This need to protect Lynn from anything that could hurt her or make her unhappy was rising in me. I just wanted to deal with her issues and make them go away. Her having kids with this bastard was the only thing stopping me from landing my fist in his face the next time I saw him.

“You got a good one.” Milton stood beside me.

The others were already walking back towards the courthouse, talking among themselves and paying Milton and me no mind. It was just us after they crossed the street.

“I know I do,” I murmured. “So, how do you two know each other?”

He tensed a bit, and I felt I already knew the answer before he said it.

“Her ex-husband and I work together quite a bit.”

I nodded, since he was just confirming what I already assumed.

“He is still crazy about her. You know that, right?” Milton confirmed the other thing I had already picked up on.

“Oh, I figured. He lost her, though. That woman is mine.”