Succeeding Love

Empty Words

Vin

I watched on, leaning on the hood of my car as Lynn guided her drunk ass ex to the front door of his building. She wouldn’t let me help, giving me a nasty fucking look when I tried.

Thankfully, the doorman seemed to catch sight of her and rushed to open the door before she had to figure out the door code to get in. The doorman opened the door and helped drag Nick through it right as Preston came rushing from the elevator.

“Fucking pathetic,” I sneered, feeling the need to punch someone more than ever.

If it wasn’t for that look Lynn gave me when she told me to stay the fuck out of it, I wouldn’t have so easily let her go upstairs to that bastard’s apartment on her own.

Preston looked disgusted with his dad, and I felt a little better knowing he wouldn’t let the bastard disrespect his mother more than he already had. Then this sinking feeling made my heart drop to my gut.

Nick wasn’t the one Lynn was pissed at right now. It was me.

My stomach still twists imagining that expression on Lynn’s face when she had reached her limit.

“You knocked your lady to the ground, Mr. Trude. Pull yourself together,” Ivan had hissed at me after yanking me back from that fucker. I thought Ivan was exaggerating, saying whatever to calm the situation. In the red haze that fell over me, hearing that the prick had followed her to the bathroom and forced himself on her, I wasn’t really paying much attention to anything else. All I could see was his drunk, arrogant face as the urge to punch it in came over me.

Ten different kinds of regrets and guilt ate away at me while waiting outside for Lynn to come back down. There was a war waging inside of me. The part of me that wants to bust in the condo building and drag my girlfriend out of there before her ex forces himself on her again is barely being kept in check because I know that would only piss her off more.

Preston was there, too. I have no trust in that asswipe ex of hers, but I did trust Preston.

After what felt like forever, Lynn emerged with her kids on her heels. As she walked, I noticed a tear in the side seam of her dress. My eyes narrowed, wondering how her dress got torn. Only the worst scenarios came to mind. All of which didn’t help my anger.

Preston gave me a stiff look, then hurried off to his father’s car, probably to park it in the parking garage. Jessie had a bag on her shoulder, and Lynn had a gym bag in her hands. The kids must be going back home instead of staying there with their drunk father.

When Lynn dropped the bag on the curb, ten feet away from me. She didn’t even acknowledge me standing there staring at her. Jessie looked uncomfortable, and maybe even sad. She smiled tightly at me, then hugged her backpack more on her shoulder.

“You can drop your bag in the car,” I told her, wanting to break the silent tension.

Jessie looked at her mom, then Lynn shook her head. “She’s riding with Preston,” Lynn said, still not looking at me. “She can hold her backpack until he comes out.”

Fuck, she was even more pissed than I imagined.

“Lynn, I-”

“Not now,” she cut me off. “We’ll talk on the way back.”

She finally looked at me, but it wasn’t an expression that I wanted to see. Her eyes were tense, almost cold. She was always so fun-loving and vibrant. This expression on her face was making me panic on the inside.

I wanted to do something, anything, to break this tension between us, but I had a genuine fear of pushing her too far.

I sat awkwardly on my hood, pleading with Lynn with my eyes. She was back to not looking at me, just staring blankly towards the parking garage with a vacant look in her eyes.

When Preston’s mustang pulled out of the garage, my heart hammered in my chest. This talk Lynn and I were about to have alone. I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to have it. I didn’t know what she was so angry about.

Well, I had a clue, but I think I was fucking justified in getting as pissed as I did. She’s standing out in the cold with a torn dress, dragging her kids back home late at night because her ex-husband is an idiot.

“Are you going to be okay, mom?” Preston asked as he got out to help Jessie toss her bags in the trunk. He gave me a look out of the corner of his eyes.

Lynn just smiled tightly, kissing her daughter’s cheek before Jessie slipped into the car.

“Drive carefully, sweetie,” she waved to Preston.

He gave me one last look before sighing and getting in his car to drive away.

Lynn stood on the curb, watching his car take off, not speaking or moving until he was all the way down the street. Then she finally looked at me again.

Instead of anger, she looked extremely tired. Her eyes were swimming, and her frown was deep. It broke some part of me to see her so despondent. So exhausted and empty.

“Let’s go,” she murmured after a long stare, then moved to walk past me to the passenger door.

By the time I pushed myself off the hood, she already had the door open and was getting in. I was the one that opened doors for her. She had always waited for me to do it ever since the first week of us dating.

I don’t know why, but it made me feel even worse. It felt like she didn’t need me. That I had let her down.

I hesitated before getting in, not knowing what was about to go down. Not knowing what she wanted to talk about had my anxiety going haywire.

Every sound in the car seemed extremely loud through the tense silence that stretched between us. The clicking of the blinker, the humming of the engine, the hiss of the air conditioner. All the noises I usually never notice, but now I’m focusing on each one to distract myself from the loud silence.

Lynn sat staring out the window for so long, she was like a statue. Not moving. I kept checking to see if she was even breathing. It wasn’t until the last time I checked I saw a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Baby,” I whispered, unable to keep quiet any longer.

When I placed my hand on her leg, she squeezed her eyes shut, sending more tears to glide down her face.

“Damn it,” I groaned, checking my mirrors before parking off the side of the street.

I leaned over to her, grabbing her face in my hands as I tried to get her to open her eyes. She tried to twist away, but I wouldn’t let her.

“Baby, look at me.”

“No,” her rough whisper was so low, but so fucking loud. “I can’t.”

My heart cinched seeing her lip quiver the way it did. I wanted to stop it with a kiss. I wanted to kiss away all her tears and all her sadness.

How the hell did tonight get so fucked up? Why the hell did I agree to go to that fucking charity event knowing her asshole ex might be there?

“Please, talk to me, Lynn. Please.” I gave in to one urge and kissed a tear from her cheek, only to feel a spasm of pain when she turned her face away.

“I can’t Vin. I can’t, right now.”

“You can’t what?” I asked, as my heart continued to sink. “Lynn, please.”

“I can’t look at you right now,” she put a dagger through my heart. “I can’t.”

“Why?” My voice dropped as I begged. “Because I almost punched him. Baby, he deserved it.”

“That’s not it! He deserved more than that! But that’s not it,” she shook her head, trying to escape my hands. Finally, her tear-filled eyes looked at me, piercing my soul. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is?” I felt empty. What should I do?

She shook her head again. “You really don’t know why I’m upset? Really?”

“I really don’t,” I wanted to yell. “Was it because I wanted to punch the fucker? Lynn, he followed you into the fucking bathroom. He forced himself on you. Look at your fucking dress,” I grabbed the ripped seam, gripping it angrily in my fist.

That cold look returned to her eyes. “He didn’t do that to my dress.”

My brows dipped in confusion.

“It ripped when I fell. When I was trying to stop you from punching the father of my kids.”

“ You knocked your lady friend to the ground, Mr. Trude. Pull yourself together.” Ivan’s statement returned to me as guilt choked me, making it hard to breathe.

She shook her head again, staring down at the rip in her seam. “Tonight was the first time since we started dating that I didn’t feel I could... I could rely on you, Vin. I don’t know how to wrap my mind around that yet.”

The knife in my chest twisted even more.

Lynn jerked her head out of my hands, and this time I let her, dropping my hands from her face. As fear and shame washed over me, I stared with wide eyes at her tear-stained face. She was still so painfully beautiful. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to fix this. I always wanted to fix everything for her. Tonight, she had to fix everything herself.

Damn it, and all I did was make everything worse. She came to get me. She was asking for my help, but I let my temper take over. Damn it.

“Please, just take me to my house,” she twisted her body to stare out the window again. “I think our emotions are still too high to talk tonight. You should go home too.”

There was a tremor in her voice. If my heart wasn’t already torn from my chest, it would have broken right then.

She asked me to take her to her house. Not home, like we had called it earlier, but her house. She was putting a line down that wasn’t there before.

“You’re my home,” I murmured to myself, trying to hold on to that sentiment from earlier. They felt like empty words now…..