CHAPTER TWELVE
EMMETT
Izzy sat on the sofa with her feet in my lap, all flush-cheeked and full of life. She’d stumbled into my home and ripped my hermit-y life asunder. I’d thrown myself in the snow and flopped around like a fool. Just to see her smile.
What had she done to me?
‘That feels so good,’she moaned as I pressed my fingers deep into the arch of her foot.
‘You should have better boots for winter,’I chided, smiling as she rolled her eyes and took another sip of cocoa.
‘I didn’t expect to be out in the woods with snow up to my butt. I wore comfy sneakers for driving.’
We sat listening to the crackle of the logs and Chunk’s gentle snoring for a while, the easy quiet like a huge weighted blanket over me.
After drinking the last dregs of cocoa, Izzy tipped her sweet face toward me.
‘Why did you choose to live so far out of the city?’
I sighed and continued rubbing at her feet. She was too young to need to worry about the draining reality of life.
‘I did the whole rat race thing and almost drove myself into an early grave. Needed a change of pace.’It was half of the truth.
She rested her chin against her hand, laying them both against the back couch cushion. ‘Do you get lonely?’
I’d hardened myself too much to feel much of anything.
‘Not really. I have Chunk. What about you? You’re at college but living like a saint to appease your dad. What’s that about?’
Izzy’s lips pursed. ‘I want him to be proud of me. It’s the only thing he’s ever been proud of me for.’
‘For being a virgin? That’s a weird overstep. Is it a religious thing? Do you need to wait for marriage?’
Izzy’s cheeks flushed.‘I don’t know. I just know he wants me to be good .’
‘Your value isn’tdeterminedby your sexual status. If you want to be chaste, it’s one thing, but to do so to please your father… Don’t you ever want to join in the whole collegeexperience?’
‘You canexperiencecollege without sleeping your way around it.’Izzy withdrew her foot from my lap and tucked her knees to her chest.
‘Of course you can. From the way you’ve reacted since you've been here, you appear eager toexperiencethe more sexual side of life.’
‘I had to eat…’
My eyebrows rose in response to her answer. It had gone far beyond the need to eat.
‘You came all over my face last night and asked for more today. I hardly think you can protest to wanting it.’
A flicker of rage filled her face.
‘I didn’t want any of this . You made me.’
Beneath the rage, there was doubt. Denial. It wasn’t me she was mad at. It was herself.
‘I didn’t, Izzy. I may not have turned your offering down, but you suggested the sexual stuff. You pursued it.’
Izzy stood, her chest rising in anger.
‘Do you think I’d choose you? That I would want you to be the man I first gave myself to? You’re a creepy old man.’
I’d been in enough heated exchanges to know when it washumiliationand self-loathing driving an exchange. While her words hurt, it wasn’t about me. Guilt made her lash out with vicious little claws.
‘Gonna go clean up for dinner,’I said, rising with a sigh.
‘Can’t help yourself, can you? Don’t like the idea of having forced yourself on someone half your age?’Oof. She’d moved to spitting venom.
‘Keep telling yourself that,sweetheart. Bet you’ll still be begging for my fingers in the middle of the night. Not long until you need to go back topretendingto be a good girl, right?’
She let out an angry screech.
‘I’d rather be there than here. It’s like being holed up with a big hairy yeti. Heck, that would be better. He might want to stick his gross dick in me, but at least he’d have a Christmas tree. Not you. No . I’ve landed in the only snow-covered cabin that screams joy and fun doesn't exist . It’s like Scrooge and the Grinch had a baby and it made you.’
I closed the bathroom door behind me and leaned back against it, closing my eyes and taking a breath.
Fuckin’ women.