Sudden Awakenings (The Other Paths Collection)

Chapter 40

As Elizabeth grew stronger with each passing day, Darcy continually thanked God for sparing her. The doctor was immensely pleased with her recovery.

“It is unlike anything I have seen before,” he said. “For a woman so close to death’s door to recover, with almost no trace that she was ever ill, it is utterly astounding!”

Within a few weeks, Elizabeth was up and walking, and by the time a month was complete, the doctor decided she was well enough to travel. She still coughed from time to time, and fatigued sooner than usual after physical exertion, which suggested she might have some lasting effects in her heart or lungs, but it was clear she was out of danger.

As soon as she was well enough, Darcy told Elizabeth about Georgiana’s narrow escape from Wickham.

“The poor dear! If I had known his ulterior motives, I never would have entertained him at Pemberley or allowed Georgiana to be in his company.”

“Nor would I have,” Darcy agreed. “As much as I knew of his character, I wanted to believe he had changed; that he had truly turned over a new leaf.”

“The knowledge that she is his sister should have kept him from attempting what he did,” Elizabeth added. “Why did you not tell me? ”

“I was ashamed of what my father had done. If this incident had not occurred, I likely would have taken the secret to my grave.”

Elizabeth nodded her understanding.

Once Elizabeth was out of danger, Darcy wrote to the bishop over Kympton’s diocese. With the vicar’s testimony added to his own, it was an easy thing to have Wickham removed from his position as the rector of Kympton. The magistrate in the Culpepper’s village issued Wickham a hefty fine for his crimes, and since he could not pay it, he was transported to Australia to serve out his sentence.

Darcy could think of no better person to replace him than Mr. Kirby, who was happy to accept the position, and promised to do far better serving the parish than his predecessor.

Authorities searched for Mrs. Younge, but she was never found nor heard from again. They pursued her as far as Wales, where the horse she had stolen was recovered near the river, leading them to speculate that she might have drowned trying to cross it, or that she disguised herself and changed identities once she reached a village on the other side. They searched far and wide for a woman of her description, or any stranger to those parts. The only report they came across was of an old beggar woman whom nobody had seen before, going by the name of Mrs. Olde, who bought passage on a ship to America and sailed from Bristol.

S

Elizabeth’s body had recovered, but her spirit remained dampened. Darcy’s words repeated over and over in her mind. I do not love her, nor have I ever loved her, and I never will!

She wondered whether he would try to seek an annulment. She had heard they were difficult to obtain, and usually came with a great deal of scandal .

Likely too much scandal for him to attempt it.

Still, the thought plagued her heart that perhaps he would be better off without her. She had, after all, forced him into this marriage.

Suppose I were to simply leave him and return to my parents, as Viscount Fitzwiliam’s wife has done? Darcy could simply tell everyone I was visiting them.

But it would raise questions if she did not return, she realized.

No, I would not subject him to further scandal by my actions . We shall continue as we are, strangers living in the same household.

Even with Parker sharing her room again, it felt empty, not having Darcy there. She had become accustomed to his presence, of seeing his face when she awoke. When they returned home, she would ask Georgiana to share her room, she decided. It was not the same, but at least she was family.

Family.

Yes, they were a family now, regardless of the state between her and Darcy.

I would lose that if I returned to Longbourn.

I would not give up having Georgiana as one of my sisters, even if it means enduring the pain of continuing on as we are now.

S

Darcy was not oblivious to Elizabeth’s mood. She remained listless, somber, often lost in her own thoughts. When he asked if something was the matter, she dismissed it, but he could tell she was troubled.

It was the third day of their journey to Pemberley, and they were nearing Matlock Bath .

“Let us take a visit to the Saint Elizabeth’s Well,” he suggested. “Georgiana did not accompany us the last time, and we can see how our souvenirs have progressed.”

Georgiana was in agreement, as she had not seen the well since she was young.

Leaving the carriage and servants at the livery, they hiked the short distance down to the well. Elizabeth leaned on Georgiana’s arm for support. Darcy wished she had chosen to lean on him; she increasingly kept her distance from him, ever since her recovery.

“It is as beautiful as I remember!” Georgiana exclaimed as they entered the shallow cavern where the water dripped down. The sound of droplets echoed off the walls of the cavern, dripping down onto the items left behind.

Elizabeth looked for her glove but she could not find it.

Darcy noticed her search. “Ah, here are our gloves,” he pointed out the pair of gloves where he had laid them with the fingers intertwined.

The leather was completely covered over with minerals, permanently encasing the gloves and giving them the appearance of stone. Carefully, so as not to break off the minerals, Elizabeth lifted the souvenir to examine it. It was a work of art, a combination of nature and design. She handed it to Georgiana, who wished to gain a closer look as well.

“Now our hands will forever be entwined, just as our lives are,” Darcy said. He took one of Elizabeth’s hands in his own, and gave her a warm smile, wishing she might glimpse the love in his heart, searching her face for some indication that she shared his feelings.

God has spared her life. It is enough to have her with me. I must be content.

But such thoughts could not quell the desperate ache within him .

S

A strange sensation filled Elizabeth’s heart as she looked into Darcy’s eyes and saw the warmth there. She pulled her hand away from his, confused by her own response to his tenderness.

“Thank you for this,” she said, indicating the sculpture he had fashioned with their gloves. “It will be a treasured reminder of our visits to this well.”

She recalled that the well was said to have healing properties. She yearned for healing, both in body and soul. Near one end of the mouth of the cave, there was a shallow pool where some of the water that dripped down collected. A statue of Saint Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, was erected next to it. Visitors to the well knelt here to pray to God for healing, and to ask Saint Elizabeth to intercede on their behalf. Elizabeth knelt too, and dipped her fingers in the water briefly, before saying her own prayer to her Heavenly Father, thanking him for sparing her from death, and asking him to heal her. Then she returned to the others.

The way back to the carriage was more difficult, climbing uphill. She accepted Darcy’s offer of his arm to assist her, which seemed to please him, although she could not fathom why. Surely he was used to offering a lady his arm for support by now.

“Do you think your prayer will be answered?” Georgiana asked after they were settled into the coach once more.

“I hope so,” Elizabeth said. “The doctor told me that he felt the country air would be good for my lungs. Perhaps my cough may even disappear.”

“There is something I still do not understand. Why did Aunt Catherine want to poison you? Her motive seems entirely unclear. I cannot see why she would hate you so much as to wish you dead.”

“I do not understand it either.” Elizabeth shook her head .

Darcy spoke up. “She wanted to clear the way for me to marry her daughter. She believed that if I were widowed, she could convince me to let Anne take your place. A divorce would be too messy, cause too much scandal for the family. So she tried to let death part us.”

“And nearly succeeded.” Elizabeth shuddered.

“Losing you would not have made me turn to Anne, however. I told her, quite clearly, that I did not love Anne, and that I never would.”

A shock of realization coursed through Elizabeth’s heart. The words were not about her– they were about Anne! Of course, it all made sense. She had been a fool not to realize it before.

Just as suddenly, she recognized that she had been entirely mistaken. Darcy did not hold her in apathy; he never had. The idea that she had somehow forced him into this marriage was a lie. He had entered it with eyes wide open, for her sake, and not merely to save her reputation. He wanted to be joined to her, to build a life with her, and to walk hand in hand throughout all their days. That was the meaning of the souvenir he had fashioned from their intertwined gloves.

And then it was as if her heart was suddenly awakened and she saw him, all of him, not the man who she had thought him to be, but the one who had walked with her throughout everything, and she realized it was not merely lust that she felt for him.

It was love. Pure, unadulterated love.

As she looked to him across the carriage and saw the smile there, tears formed in her eyes, and feelings threatened to burst from her chest. With Georgiana sitting right there beside her, it was all she could do to keep her thoughts and emotions to herself.

S

It was afternoon when they drove across the bridge leading into Pemberley’s grounds.

Home. We are home.

Elizabeth now truly felt that this was her home, and not merely the place where she was living. She had stopped thinking of Longbourn as her home some time ago. More than that, home was wherever Darcy was, whether they were at Pemberley, or in London, or any corner of the world.

The meadow nestled between the lake and the woods was in full bloom for summer, with brilliant wildflowers in shades of pink, blue and yellow. When she first arrived at Pemberley, this meadow had been dormant, the grasses dying out as the season shifted towards winter, and when she last saw it, it had just taken on the green grasses of spring. This was the first time she had seen it covered in flowers, and yet, somehow, the scene felt familiar to her. Perhaps she had seen it in a dream.

Mrs. Reynolds had a dinner of cold meats and sandwiches ready for them when they arrived. After they ate, Georgiana announced her wish to retire, as she was exhausted from their travels. Elizabeth knew she ought to be tired as well, but her heart was too full.

“I wish to walk through the meadow before it grows dark. Will you accompany me?” she asked Darcy. He nodded.

She fetched her bonnet and they set off. This time, he did not have to offer his arm to her before she linked hers with his. They passed through the rose gardens, which now displayed brilliant blooms in every shade of red, yellow and pink, and down the gravel pathway leading to the bridge across the lake. And then they entered the meadow, and Elizabeth found herself surrounded by the beautiful wildflowers, aglow with color as the sun gradually set behind the trees of the woods beyond them .

“I never paid much attention to this field before,” she said. “It was outfitted for winter when I arrived, so I did not realize how beautifully it would be arrayed at this time of year.”

“It is quite splendid. My mother loved to come to this meadow also, while she was alive,” Darcy said.

Elizabeth felt a lump form in her throat. She knew it was time to speak what was in her heart. Her aunt had warned her not to delay telling her feelings to the one she loved, lest she miss her opportunity.

She drew a deep breath. “Now that my recovery is nearly complete, I no longer wish for Parker to remain in my chambers.”

Darcy looked at her with alarm. “I know we are home once more, but I should hate to think that you might have an episode and end up wandering the woods again.”

“Will you stay with me, then?”

His eyes searched her face, trying to discern her thoughts. She smiled at him reassuringly.

“If that is your wish,” he murmured softly.

“The gloves,” Elizabeth said. “I know now, why you intertwined them. I thought, for so long, that you only married me out of obligation, for the sake of honor.”

“My honor did demand it, yes, but that was not my only reason,” he said. “I knew you did not want to marry me, but I hoped, in time, you might come to respect me, even if you could never care for me.”

“I do respect you,” she said quickly. “I did not, at first, I admit it, but I have come to see that you are good and honorable, and kind, and…I do care for you, Fitzwilliam,” Elizabeth answered, her eyes shining once more. “In fact I, I…I love you,” she said almost breathlessly.

Darcy’s voice grew hoarse. “Can it be? Do you truly love me?” He took her hands in his, his eyes full of wonder.

Elizabeth nodded, a smile forming on her lips .

Without hesitation, Darcy's lips met Elizabeth's in a kiss that was at once tender and passionate. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling a surge of emotion. The world seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the moment.

His lips felt warm and soft against hers, his scent giving off the fragrant notes of his orange and sandalwood cologne and blended with the perfume of the wildflowers surrounding them. His arms clasped tightly around her waist, as if he wished never to let her go from that moment on.

They kissed again and again, drinking deeply in the love that they had found. These kisses far outpaced those of her dreams, and were more real even than those she had given him in her unconscious frenzy. A true expression of the love they shared.

When finally, they came up for air, Darcy said, “I have longed to tell you, from the very beginning, how much I ardently love and admire you.”

“From the very beginning?” she teased. “I seem to recall you would not deign to dance with me at the Meryton Assembly.”

Darcy laughed. “Very well, I admit to being a proud fool that evening! But it was not long after that I began to see the sparkle in your eyes and the humor in your wit. I cannot fix on the hour or the moment that I fell in love with you. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.”

Elizabeth leaned her head against his arm as they turned to walk back towards the house. “So then you were already in love with me, when I wandered into your room at Netherfield?” she asked.

“Admittedly, yes. A lesser man than I would have taken advantage of you. Here you were, looking so beautiful with your hair down, and in your nightgown.” His words caused her to blush deeper. “And then you came into my chamber and laid down on my bed. It was all I could do to keep my wits about me. I know it is wrong, but I am not sorry that you came to my room that night. I do not think you would have accepted my addresses otherwise.”

Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to laugh. “No, I do not think I would have! I was utterly convinced you were the proudest, most disagreeable man of my acquaintance!”

“I was proud! I judged you before meeting you properly, all because Caroline Bingley warned me that your family were a greedy, grasping bunch.”

“And so they are! But we had met before, do you remember? On the Longbourn Road? When you were lost and looking for the way to Netherfield?”

“Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten! You, an impertinent miss, refused to give me your name. And yet, you knew mine! How infuriated I was, and at the same time, curious to know more of you. Had Miss Bingley not warned me off, I might have asked you to dance at the assembly.” There was a gleam in his eye.

“I tried hard to catch your notice. I even employed Mr. Bingley to entreat you,” she reminded him.

“I recall. It was that action which spurred me to reject his petition in your hearing. How I regretted it afterwards!”

As the laughter between them died down, the look in their eyes turned once more to passion, and they fell again into each other’s embrace, their kisses deeper and more full of desire even than before.

“Fitzwilliam,” she murmured into his ear, “I was a fool not to realize your love for me before now.”

“If anyone is the fool, it is I,” he began, but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.

“We are both fools, perhaps,” she said. “But I, more than you. I feel as though I was lost in a dream all these months, unable to see the reality before me. But now, I have fully awakened. I hope you can forgive me for not loving you sooner. ”

“Dearest, loveliest, Elizabeth! There is nothing to forgive. Let us think of the past only as it gives us pleasure, and look to the future with all of the promise it holds.”

Elizabeth nodded, before returning to his embrace. The sun had fully set before the lovers returned to the house, with smiles on their faces, and not one servant dared ask where they had been for so long a time.

S

The sunlight filtering through the curtains woke Elizabeth the next morning. Rolling over, she saw the man beside her, and her heart flooded with love and happiness.

For some time, she simply watched his breathing. Then she drew closer and pressed her lips to his. His eyes popped open and he responded to her kisses, wrapping his arms around her waist as he did so.

“You are awake this time, are you not?” He asked teasingly. “This is not one of your dream-induced frenzies?”

Elizabeth giggled. “I am wide awake, I assure you.” Her stomach growled loudly. “And hungry too, it would seem.” She turned to exit the bed, but his arm caught hers.

“Stay,” he murmured. Elizabeth complied, nestling herself in the crook of his arm, her head leaning upon his chest. He pressed a kiss to her hair. “Would that we were always this happy!”

“We shall be as happy or as miserable as we choose to be, so from now on, let us choose to be happy.”

“You are right,” he said, stroking her back gently with the arm that was wrapped around her. “No matter what circumstances may come our way, we shall always have each other.”

“And Georgiana,” she added .

“Yes, and Georgiana.”

“And, Lord willing, our little ones.”

“Little ones? Is there something you wish to tell me?” He teased her.

She giggled again. “No, it is far too early for that. It was only last night–” another snort burst from her lips.

“Yes, I am aware,” he chuckled. “However, is it too soon to hope that you might be willing to try for a child?”

She shook her head, rising up and leaning over him once more. “Not too soon at all,” she whispered, before bringing her lips to his in another passionate kiss.