Suddenly Fated (Wolves of Riverton #1)

15. Esyn

15. Esyn

“Ari, do you realize that I’ve been here for over two months?” I asked out of the blue one day as we worked together in his office. This had become our regular routine - we had breakfast with Avelin and Jamie, then I had a lesson with Av while Ari and Jamie trained with the other warriors. In the afternoons, Ari worked on pack business while I studied anything to do with wolf history and with fated mates, or went around the grounds taking photos. I still hadn’t been able to make sense of what the Goddess told me, and it drove me batty. What kind of gift had she given me? What on earth could I possibly do to change the course of things for everyone? I didn’t understand it. To make matters worse, the meeting with Alpha Blackwell was in two weeks, and we’d come no closer to discovering who had killed Ari’s father and tried to kill me. Ari and Jamie had men out investigating every angle and lead, but so far they discovered nothing. There was no sign of the man who leapt from the car with me in the back, and no signs of foul play in the kitchen where they prepared the tea.

“I feel as if you’ve been here for about four seconds, and also forever.” Ari answered. I knew exactly what he meant.

I stood and stretched, twisting my head and working the kinks from my neck. “I’m going to go for a walk. It’s a beautiful day out. Do you have time to come with me?”

“Unfortunately no, I have a phone call scheduled with Richard in a few minutes.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed.

“Well, tell him I say hello. I’ll just walk around the grounds right outside for a bit.”

“Make sure that Tim goes with you.”

I sighed. I was used to being alone most of the time, and since I’d met Ari my alone time became nonexistent. I had no desire to be apart from him, but I hated being followed around by guards everywhere I went.

Tim waited in a chair in the hallway and got up to follow behind me as I left the office. I’d just reached the middle of the staircase when an overwhelming nausea hit me. “Oh my goddess. I think I’m going to-” I slapped my hand over my mouth and sprinted down the remaining stairs and into the bathroom. I didn’t even close the stall door behind me as I emptied the contents of my stomach. When there was nothing left, I moaned and wiped my mouth with toilet paper.

A stall farther down the row banged open and footsteps crossed to the sink. I exited the stall to find Luna Elise washing her hands. Her reflection gave me an odd, wide-eyed look.

“Drink any tea lately?” she asked me in a mocking tone.

“No, I’m perfectly fine.”

“That didn’t sound perfectly fine to me. Please tell me that you haven’t brought some peasant illness into our midst.”

I closed my eyes in annoyance, but continued washing my own hands. “No, as I said, I’m fine. I just felt sick out of nowhere. I’m ok now.”

Her head snapped up and over to me. “Esyn. How long have you been with us?” She took my arm in an iron grip. I turned to measure the distance to the door, where Tim waited for me on the other side. Her face was inches from mine, close enough that I could smell her gardenia perfume. The scent made my nausea return with a vengeance. She looked intense and scary.

“Um. I just told Ari a few minutes ago that it's been more than two months. Why?”

“Why indeed. Are you an idiot? You are pregnant.”

The room spun and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “ No. No, I mean, that’s not possible.”

“Isn’t it? She asked, cocking her head to the side and studying me. “My sources tell me that the two of you are disgusting, gallivanting all over the packlands and the manor behaving lewdly. Sickening,” she spat.

“I suppose it’s no ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ I blurted and slapped a hand over my mouth. Elise’s face went pale and then red, not with anger but embarrassment.

“Yes, well. Never mind that. I’d bet my diamonds that you are carrying my son’s cub. Isn’t that wonderful ,” she said in a tone that said it was anything but. “Just what we need in our time of grieving, a mewling bastard cub on our hands.”

She shoved me away from her suddenly and I fell backwards onto the hard tile floor with an “oof.” Tim pushed into the bathroom mere seconds after Elise made her exit.

“Miss! Are you alright? I had no idea she was in the building today or I’d have come to your aid,” he exclaimed as he helped me up.

“No, it’s alright Tim, I’m ok.”

“We need to go back to Alpha’s office right away. We need to tell him about your illness and about his mother.”

“No! No, please, Tim. I’m really ok. I feel perfect now, and Elise didn’t hurt me. We’ll only worry him. I’ll tell him later tonight, I promise. For now, let’s just go on that walk, shall we?” I tried to imbue my voice with authority and confidence. I’m not sure that I pulled it off, but he reluctantly agreed.

I strolled through the grass surrounding the community building. Despite the weather, the evergreen trees and shrubs were trimmed perfectly, the lawn manicured, and large pots spilled over with cold hardy plants. I smiled to myself as I thought of my Dad. He took so much pride in his work, and I felt so proud of him, and of both of my parents. I loved them so much, and they were both so supportive of my choices. What would they think about a grandchild? Could I be half as good a parent as they were?

My thoughts went to Luna Elise and her accusation, and I felt my anxiety rise again. Is it possible? Could I really be? I did some mental math and realized that I hadn’t had a period since before the holiday gala. I’d felt tired often, but chalked it up to the chaos that was the last two months of our lives.

“Oh my goddess.”

“Oh my goddess!” Avelin shrieked. Are you sure?”

“Shhh! No, of course I’m not sure! I can’t base anything off of what Elise says!”

We sat in the back garden of the manor, as far away as we could get and not be overheard. Our guards, Tim and Andrew, chatted on the steps of the porch where they had a view of the entire area. “And keep your voice down, Tim already suspects that something is up.”

“Oh no , the last thing we need is a baby announcement from Tim. ” Avelin giggled, but I didn’t find it amusing.

“A baby, Avelin. How can I have a baby now? We’ve only been together for two months! You’re still married to the man. Someone is trying to kill me, Ari’s father just died, and we have the whole thing with your father-”

“It’s going to be fine, Esyn. Ari will be over the moon. We’ll get this business with my father cleared up and I’ll divorce his behind faster than you can howl.” She took my hand in hers. “I’m serious. You’ll be fine. I’ll be here for you, Jamie will be here for you, heck, even Harris will be here for you. Ari will be happy. You’ll see. In the meantime,” Avelin stood, pulling me up with her, “let’s get you to the doctor.”

“Now?”

“Yes now. Let’s get this cub confirmed before you worry yourself silly.”

The doctor smiled at Avelin and I. “Congratulations, you’re definitely pregnant. I’d say about two months along.” I’d known, but hearing it said right out like that shocked me. Holy shit.

“And does everything look ok? Healthy?”

“Perfectly. You have a healthy cub that should be here in about four months’ time. Would you like to know the sex of the cub?”

“Wait, you know that already?” I asked, amazed.

“Of course. It’s going to be a-”

“Stop!” I shouted. Avelin and the doctor both jumped. “Sorry. Please don’t tell me. I’d like to keep it a surprise.” He bowed his head and folded his hands.

“Whatever you wish.”

After receiving some instructions about my health in the next few months, Avelin and I left the office and walked to the car. Brett opened the door and we got in, followed by Tim and Andrew. We couldn’t speak of it during the ride home, and my nerves were frazzled. I felt happy, but also very afraid. Ari and Av hadn’t legally separated yet. What would Elise think of this? Judging by her earlier comments, I expected her to be even more angry and disapproving. Would Ari be happy, or was it too soon in our relationship, especially considering the stress we were all under? The minute we entered the house, I touched Avelin on the shoulder. “Av, I don’t think that now is the time to tell Ari this news. I want to wait until after the meeting with Alpha Blackwell,” I whispered to her.

“Oh, but Esyn! I can’t keep this secret for that long, I’ll die! At least let me tell Jamie?”

“No, please no. Just say nothing for right now. For me. Please? I want all of the chaos to be cleared from our lives before I tell him. I just think it would be better.”

Avelin released a huge sigh, but agreed to keep the secret. She went upstairs to her office to make some calls. I headed straight for the bedroom, exhausted and ready for a nap.

“Tim, I’m going to rest for a bit before dinner. Please take a break, I’ll be in my room until Ari gets home.”

I closed the bedroom door and leaned my forehead against it.

“So it’s true then.”

I whipped around, shocked to see Luna Elise standing in our room. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to confirm that my suspicions are correct, but the news got to me before you did. I suppose you are proud of yourself. You’ve wrecked a marriage, broken apart a family, and now you’re having a bastard with my married son.”

“Luna Elise! You’ve gone too far.” Pent up anger from weeks of staying quiet came bursting out. “Your son and I are fated by the Goddess. He doesn’t love Avelin that way and he never will. They aren’t going to be together and I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. You’re just going to have to get used to it.” I yelled at her, but she smiled at me, and that smile was absolutely terrifying.

“That’s what you think.”

Suddenly, a beefy arm snaked its way around me, and another shoved a foul tasting cloth into my mouth. I screamed around it and tried to struggle, but the man that held me was too strong. Another strange shifter came out of the bathroom, where I guessed they’d been hiding, and began to tape my arms and legs together with strong tape. I writhed and whipped my head around to no avail. I reached inward with my mind, ready to shift into my wolf.

“Give her the injection,” I heard Elise command them. A needle pricked the skin of my shoulder and I tried to fight it, but everything went fuzzy, then black.

I woke up in a tiny, cramped room with no windows. A single lightbulb shone overhead, and the mattress on the cot beneath me felt hard and lumpy. My arms were still bound behind me, but my legs were free and the gag was gone. Suddenly nauseous, I sat up clumsily and the room spun. I looked around frantically and spied a bucket in the corner by the foot of the bed. I reached it just in time, my knees banging into the concrete floor as I vomited. I couldn’t hold my hair back since my wrists were taped.

Footsteps approached the door, and I heard a key in the lock as I threw up over and over, tears streaming unchecked from my eyes.

“I’m so glad that I only went through that once,” Luna Elise said behind me. “I did my duty and never had to endure such disgusting effects again, and I no longer had to put up with William touching me.” She shivered in revulsion as I squinted up at her through a curtain of my hair from my position on the floor.

“A duty? Is that all Ari is to you?” I croaked. “A chore to get through and then ignore?”

“Ignore him? I didn’t ignore him. In fact, he was my only reason to stay. I made sure to raise him properly. To instruct him in behavior, manners, demeanor, authority. I taught him everything that his ridiculous father could not. Just as Avelin will. She will be the best Luna this pack has ever seen, the perfect match for Michael in every way. And your bastard will have a name. He will be a Belisarius. Strong and sure of himself, just like his parents. Avelin will be a better mother than you’d ever dream of being.”

Elise’s eyes practically glowed with an odd light. Fear gripped me as the reality of my situation began to sink in.

Ari! Ari, help me! I heard no answer.

“I see that look on your face. Don’t even try it. He can’t hear you in here.” She grinned. I’d never seen her smile so wide, and it terrified me to my very soul. How did she know about our mind reading?

“He’ll realize I’m gone soon, and he will find me. When he does, you’ll be sorry for this.”

“He won’t find you. You’ll be right under his nose and he’ll never realize it. He is clever, I taught him to be. Having me followed and watching my every move? Smart. But he doesn’t know this room exists. You are in my room, or rather, behind it. The only people who know of this room are myself and my personal maid, and she wouldn’t tell a soul. It’s reinforced with lead, so your mind trick antics won’t work,” she cackled.

“Why the fuck do you have a lead lined room in the back of your own?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Miss Stone, language. My Grandson can hear you! I won’t have him learning dirty words before he even enters this world. Avelin and Michael have been married for two years. In two years, they never had a cub of their own. I planned to get them one no matter what it took. You just came along at the right time and made things more convenient. Lead,” she said gleefully, “blocks cell phone frequencies, and incidentally, mind frequencies as well.” This woman was actually insane.

“Let me get this straight. You plan to keep me in this room until I give birth, and then pass my baby off as Avelin’s? What makes you think they’d go along with that?”

“They’ll go along with it because there will be no other option. You’ll be gone, Michael will be oh so brokenhearted, and they’ll find comfort in each other and in this gift that I’ll give them.”

Another set of footsteps approached the door and a knock sounded. My heart sped up, but it was a servant with a tray of food. She backed into the room, and when she turned around, I drew in a surprised breath. It was Rose, one of the sisters who’d been fired by Alpha Willam for stealing. She shot me a knowing look.

“Karma is a beautiful thing, isn’t it, Miss Stone?” Elise said.

“Rose is your personal maid?” I asked.

“She is now. We get along famously, don’t we Rose?”

“Yes, Luna Elise. Of course.”

“Now, stand up.” She nodded to the servant, and Rose yanked me up from the floor by my bound arms. I yelped in pain as I struggled to stand. Luna Elise pulled a gold handled letter opener out of her pocket. It looked sharp, and for a second I expected her to try to slit my throat, but she merely cut through the bindings on my wrists.

“There’s your dinner. You will receive two meals daily and a jug of water. The bucket is for your private needs and there is a change of clothes in the drawer.” She gestured to the bedside table where the tray of food sat next to a plastic water pitcher. “Keep your mouth shut and quiet. There are other pregnant shifters, and if you become a problem, you’ll be eliminated. Understood?”

I nodded. What the hell could I say to that? I remained stuck in here, locked in a closet of a room with no way out. I suddenly felt claustrophobic and began to panic. As soon as the women left I tried the door handle, finding it locked. I pulled and twisted the knob but it didn’t budge. I frantically searched the room, checking the drawer and the tray, finding nothing but plastic utensils, a t-shirt and leggings, and cobwebs under the bed. There was a soft but thin blanket on the bed and no pillow. I couldn’t find anything to use as a weapon, nothing to unlock the door, not even anything to entertain myself. The room smelled like vomit from the bucket. I began to sob.

“Ari, please. Please find me.”

I fell asleep face down on the hard mattress, my tears soaking the blanket.

I woke up again sometime later with no way to tell if it was day or night. Someone removed the tray but the water pitcher remained. I felt fuzzy headed and sick. I grabbed the pitcher and sipped from it, as there was no cup. I had to go to the bathroom in the worst way, but really didn’t want to have to go in the bucket. I paced as much as I could in the small room. Three steps, turn, four steps, turn, four steps, three steps, back to the bed. Over and over I rounded the floor until I couldn’t stand it anymore, and finally lifted my skirt, squatting over the bucket. At least someone cleaned it while I slept.

“How the hell did I sleep through someone coming in here to take the tray and empty the bucket?” I said aloud to the room. I eyeballed the pitcher and remembered taking a few big sips last night, grimacing at the metallic taste of the water. Had Luna Elise drugged it? I let out a sound that was half sob, half laugh. I couldn’t drink another sip of that water. I would die of dehydration before the baby came.

I placed my hands on the slight protrusion of my stomach. I’d attributed it to the luxurious meals that we ate in the manor house. Tears leaked from my eyes. “I will do everything I can to protect you,” I promised my unborn child.

I changed into the t-shirt and leggings just to feel more fresh. I folded the dress I’d been wearing and placed it on the end of the bed. Would they bring me more clothes? I didn’t know, so I couldn't risk throwing the dress on the dirty concrete floor. I sat on the bed with my legs folded, hands on my knees, and tried to meditate. Part of me hoped that I could summon the Goddess to help me, or find a way to reach Ari, or even astral project myself right out of here. Alas, none of those things happened. I sighed.

Rose banged into the room, startling me. “Here’s your breakfast.” She dropped the tray unceremoniously onto the table with a splat. “You’re not getting anything else until tonight. Here,” she said, dropping a stack of gossip magazines onto my lap. I raised my eyebrows at her, certain that this wasn’t Elise sanctioned reading material.

“Hide them under the mattress.” She murmured the words, cutting her eyes toward the door. Well well, look who cared after all.

Suddenly ravenous, I snatched up the tray. There was a banana, half of a plain bagel with no toppings or butter, and a tiny carton of milk, just like the ones they used to give us in school. It looked like the leftovers of someone else’s breakfast. I ate the bagel, saving the banana for later since Rose said I wouldn’t be getting any lunch. The milk carton was still sealed and showed no signs of tampering, so even though it was warm, I drank it greedily.

I stuffed the magazines under the mattress, but kept one out. I flipped through it and read every word, every ad, studied every picture. I began to feel nauseated again, but took deep breaths and concentrated hard on not vomiting. I didn’t want to smell it all day, and I didn’t want to lose crucial calories that the baby needed. The feeling passed and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I spent hours reciting every bit of information that Avelin ever taught me about geography, Alpha names, Luna names, Beta names…I recited the names of their children, their allies, their enemies. I shocked myself at how much I remembered. “Avelin, you would be proud of me” I said aloud, then shook my head at sitting here talking to myself.

I did lunges. I marched in place. I ate my banana. I’d never had to endure this kind of boredom before. If it was like this after just one day, what would it be like for four more months? The thought scared the shit out of me, so I stuffed it away for later. Rose brought my dinner tray and a clean bucket. I tried to engage her in conversation just to keep her in the room, but it seemed she’d decided not to show me any more kindness.

This went on for days. I kept time by the arrival of my meal trays, which never contained enough food to stop my stomach from growling. I never saw Luna Elise after the first time. I went through all of the magazines three times, then started ripping them up, making folded origami like shapes out of the pages. Finally I just sat staring at the wall. I stayed hungry and thirsty and nauseous. I felt like I slowly lost my mind.