Suspicious (The LA Defiance MC #4)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Bea

A Few Hours Later

After spending the evening with Theo and Loki, the three of us enjoyed time together, just like the good old days, and it was nice to finally have everything out in the open. But even better than that, it was great to finally have Theo’s blessing.

It’s all I have wanted for as long as I can remember.

And I have to admit, finally coming clean to Theo has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

Loki’s too.

It’s like this whole new world has opened up to us that never existed before. With so much history, it’s great that we can finally start to mend the wounds that have been burning a gaping hole between us.

Theo tips back another shot of tequila, chuckles, then slams the glass on the bar, turning his head to Navy. “That’s it, Blue. I’m done for the night.”

She grins, tilting her head. “Okay, I’m gonna break. Why the hell have you been calling me Blue all night, Theo?”

I smirk as he shrugs in his semi-drunk state. “Navy… Blue. Makes sense to me. Plus, I think it suits you.”

Loki side-eyes me as Navy tries to fight back her smile. “Well, Theo, I think it suits me, too, and you can drink at my bar any damn time you like.”

He slams his hand down on top of the woodgrain with a chuckle. “I’ll take you up on that, Blue! But for now, I am heading on home. My bed is calling me, and I still need to figure out who the fuck is blackmailing us. It’s back to the grind in the morning.” He reaches into his pocket, yanking out his keys, and instantly, Loki stands, snatching them out of Theo’s fingers.

“It’s a five-hour drive home, brother. You’ve been drinking, and I also hit you pretty hard in the head. How ’bout we get Navy here to make you up a room for the night, and you go home in the morning?”

Theo looks at me to see if that is okay with me. I nod because, honestly, I don’t want him driving anywhere tonight. He shrugs. “Well then, I guess I’m staying. But her name is Blue. End of discussion.” He grins, turning to face Navy with a wink.

A slight flush crosses her cheeks while she lets out a small chuckle. “I’ll get your room ready for you, Theo.”

“Thanks, Blue!” he calls back while she steps out from behind the bar and heads off to make up his room, his eyes observing her the entire way.

My hand snaps out, backhanding him across the chest.

Theo lets out a small groan, turning to face me. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“She’s a club girl, Theo. Leave her alone. Let her do her job without annoying her,” I jab.

“I’m not annoying her. I’m admiring. Am I right, Loki?”

I snap my head to Loki, and he raises his hands in defeat. “Don’t bring me into this.”

Theo chuckles, rolls his shoulders, then starts walking off in the same direction Navy just left. “Hey, where are you going?” I blurt out.

“To see if Blue needs a hand.” He waggles his brows, smirks, then spins and takes off with a pep in his step.

Snorting out a laugh, I shake my head, turning back to face Loki. “Well, he certainly cheered up from the rampaging bull in your den.”

Loki exhales, stands from his stool, and places his hand out for me. “Seeing as he is in a good mood and off doing his thing, I suggest we take full advantage and sneak off while we can.”

Raising my brow, I take his hand and slip off my stool. “Why, Loki, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

He chuckles, leaning in against my ear. “We have thirteen years to make up for, baby. Starting tonight, I’m going to make you come every day and scream my name until your vision blurs.” His voice is low, husky, and full of so much lust my knees instantly tremble.

My breath catches as my eyes meet his, a mischievous smirk crossing his face. Swallowing a lump down my throat, he leans in. I think he’s about to kiss me, but he weaves, bending, and hoists me up over his shoulder. Bursting into a fit of giggles as my head drops down in line with his ass, he takes off for the hall, bounding up the stairs.

He slaps my ass as we reach his door, pushes it open, and leads us in.

Alone at last.

Kicking the door shut behind him, he slides me down his body, the move slow as I come face to face with him. The bruises from the fight linger across his face, but he’s still the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. My hand instinctively slides up, caressing the damage on his cheek, and I reluctantly smile, his hands holding securely around my waist, keeping our bodies tight together. “Did you ever think we would get here… to a place where we could be completely open about how we feel about each other?” I ask.

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Honestly, this still feels like a dream to me, Sparkle.”

Lifting up on my toes, my fingers thread through his long hair, my lips barely touching his, as the energy in the room ignites, illuminating us in that same rush we’ve known our whole lives. “It’s not a dream, Alex. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. Ever again.”

A low growl escapes from his chest, making my clit throb as he pushes me back against the wall with a thud, his strong hands gripping my hips while his luminous green eyes bore into mine. “You’re mine now, Bea. My Old Lady. I’ll get the patch made up. You’ll fucking wear it, and you’re moving your ass back to LA to be with me. We’re doing this right, this time. Understand?” His attitude is forceful, possessive, but the undertone is laced with lust and a glimmer of hope.

Smirking, I bring my fingers to the hair tie in his hair and pull it loose. His blond locks fall freely around his broad shoulders while he continues to stare at me. Then, with both hands gliding through his hair, I grip it tight, pulling his head back and exposing his neck to me. He growls again as I lean forward, pressing my lips to the smooth skin just below his beard.

Kiss.

“You’re asking if I want to be your Old Lady?” I murmur, my lips trailing up and down his neck.

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

He groans again, rocking his obviously hard cock against me. “There’s no asking, Bea. You just are. I’m not letting you slip away again.”

Kiss.

Glancing up through my lashes, I continue to kiss his neck, his breathing quickening as I move lower down his chest, my hands moving to his belt buckle to begin undoing it. “Then I guess I’m moving back to LA,” I whisper, dropping to my knees in front of him.

His head snaps down as I go to reach for his zipper, but he shocks me by dropping to his knees to meet me on the floor. My eyes widen as the brightest smile lights his face, and he reaches out, cupping my cheek. “You fucking mean it?” The desperation in his eyes is clear.

I nod with a bright smile. “I was always yours, Alex. And now I’m your Old Lady, Loki. I know we still have a lot to talk about, but I’m in this with you. All I feel is you.”

He inhales sharply like that is the best thing I could have ever said to him in this moment, and then he slowly eases forward, his lips pressing to mine. The second our lips touch, we are a tangle of hands, eager to be as close as possible.

So much time lost.

So much time to make up for.

I slide my hands under his club cut, working it off his shoulders, then gently set in on the end of the bed. He groans, pulling back and breaking the kiss long enough to tug my tank over my head. Then his mouth is back on mine, consuming me like he can’t get enough. We are lost in each other, determined to strip each other of the clothing that prevents us from getting closer.

It’s not until the thud of his boots hitting the floor that I come up for air, our breaths heavy as we stare at each other. Loki reaches up, cupping my cheek and gliding his thumb along my jaw. The moment is intimate, more than just a quickie like we had in his den. Something passes between us, and I know I’m home.

I’ve missed this.

Needed this.

And the love reflected back at me in his gaze, I feel deeply.

Loki leans in, his hand sliding to the back of my head as he guides me to the floor. He settles over me and rests his weight on his forearms. I can’t help but wiggle my hips, wrapping my legs around his waist, eager for the promise of him filling me.

“Shh… Sparkle. Let me love you. I don’t want rushed. I want to remember every inch of your body,” he says, kissing along my jaw and down my neck, nipping and sucking as he makes his way to my breasts, where he takes his time.

I thread my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, and he chuckles at my impatience. He pulls my taut nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before placing an open-mouth kiss on my breast. “Alex…” I trail off, unsure of what I need. Each caress of his tongue and mouth brings an onslaught of sensations I am not prepared for.

As if he doesn’t hear me, he moves to my other breast, his fingers tracing over my sides and down my hips before making their way back up. I arch into his touch, seeking more, needing to be closer to him.

Releasing my breast, he makes his way down, placing open-mouth kisses along my belly, hips, and thighs. Everywhere but where I desperately need him. My legs fall open, encouraging him to touch me, and he releases a low groan of appreciation.

Shifting lower, he slides his hands under and lifts me, his hands squeezing my ass. Then without a word, he licks slowly from my entrance to my clit, where he lightly sucks, making me moan. His hold shifts, and suddenly, his thumbs are teasing at my entrance while he sucks and licks my clit, sending me into sensory overload.

The familiar ache builds in my lower belly, seeking the release only he can give me, but then he pulls back, leaving me a whimpering mess. “I-I—”

Loki cuts off my plea, “I got you, Sparkle. I need to feel you clench around me and watch as you come undone for me.” He moves up my body, this time sliding his forearms under my shoulders, his hands under my neck and head, giving me a cushion from the hard floor.

With a shift of his hips, the head of his cock slides through my wet folds and rests at my entrance. Then, agonizingly slow, he presses into me, his adoring gaze firmly meeting mine. He groans when our hips meet, his forehead resting against me a moment before his lips touch mine in a kiss that has my toes curling.

He pulls back, setting an unhurried pace, and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. It’s still not enough, and I wrap my legs around his hips, drawing him closer, deeper.

It was only ever like this with him.

The feelings he pulls from me.

The clarity of this moment hits home, and my heart warms.

We never have to hide again.

The thought has me pulling him even closer, our bodies rocking and sliding together.

I arch into him, and he pulls back, breaking the kiss. Our heavy panting echoes around the room, mixed with our moans of pleasure. He grinds into me, and my pussy clenches around him, my orgasm building.

He leans down, nipping and sucking at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. My body trembles, and heat flushes over my skin, causing sweat to trickle down my temple while my breathing catches in my throat. He thrusts deeper, my back arching to meet him as the rush of adrenaline surges through me like a tidal wave, and I come undone around him, my thighs trembling and my hips jerking in a stuttering motion.

“Oh, God… Alex,” I whimper, lazily dragging my fingers down his back, and he groans, his hips jolting as deep groans vibrate through his chest while I feel him explode inside me.

“Bea, I lov—” His breath catches before his moans take hold, and he seeks my lips, kissing me hard, deeply, passionately, saying everything words can’t—haven’t for so long.

But I don’t even care.

As long as we are here.

In this moment.

Together.

Eventually, though, he slowly pulls back, then carefully rolls us, bringing me off the hard floor and lying on top of him. I can’t stop kissing along his neck and chest before shifting to cuddle into his side.

We’re naked, on the floor, and struggling to breathe from kissing.

But fuck!

There is nowhere else I would rather be right now.

Loki

Panting heavily, still coming down from our mutual highs while we lay on the floor of our bedroom, I feel drawn to let out a small chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

Bea turns her head, looking at me with her brow raised, the cutest smirk on her face. “Did you, Loki, the grumpiest of grumps, just chuckle?”

Letting out a full laugh this time, I pull her naked, sticky body to me and simply hold her. “Yeah, Sparkle. I chuckled.”

Her smile only grows wider as she presses her soft lips to my chest. “I like seeing you happy. Though, I am curious as to what has you laughing after we just had some of the best sex we’ve ever had?”

My fingers glide through her damp hair, and I shift my gaze to meet her eyes. “We’re free. Finally. I never thought we’d get here.”

Sighing, I stretch up, reaching for the comforter on the bed beside us, and yank it down to pull over our naked bodies. Then, I grab a pillow and slide it under my head, moving Bea to rest in the nook of my shoulder.

It’s time I told her everything.

We’ve been needing to have this talk, and now seems like the right time.

“To be honest, when everything went down all those years ago, I wasn’t even sure I would make it to see if we could get to this point,” I tell her honestly.

Her head snaps up, her brows furrow, shock clearly etched deep into her features as she stares at me. “Alex… what the hell does that mean?”

Exhaling, I figure if she’s going to be my Old Lady, I need to be open with her. So, I clear my throat. “I think we all know the circumstances around Jason’s death sent me into a downward spiral I couldn’t pull myself out of. I know my emotional state back then is why I lost you.”

Her eyes flood with tears as she bites hard on her bottom lip. “I should have been more supportive. I was young, and the pressures from home were intense. It killed me to leave you, Alex. I didn’t want to, but I felt like you didn’t want me there.”

Smiling with little enthusiasm, I hold her tighter. “I know. That’s my fault. I should have asked for help. I really fucking needed it. And then you left, and it got real, real bad for me, Bea.”

Her breath hitches, and a tear rolls down her face. “What are you saying?” she whispers quietly, her voice shaky like she almost doesn’t want to know.

Bringing my hand up, I gently cup her face to ease the pain I am about to inflict on her.

But she needs to know.

My heart hammers in my chest at the hazy memory, but I exhale and prepare to tell her. “About a year after you left, you were doing well at college, and Theo was leaping ahead in his internship while I was wasting away in my bedroom, still trying to cope with all that loss. Jason, Theo… you. Mom and Dad were supportive and had me going to therapy, but nothing was helping. I felt lonely and a waste of space to society.”

Bea’s fingers gently rub up and down my chest, her eyes glistening with tears. “I had no idea you were that bad… I’m so sorry.”

Grimacing, I shake my head. “It gets worse, Bea… I got low. I didn’t know my place in the world without Jason and you beside me. It got to the point where I figured, what was the point?” I hold out my forearms to her and point to the two tattoos of Norse writing covering the scars on my wrists. Her watering eyes meet mine, and a clear understanding of what I’m saying ripples through her as her fingers slide out, running over my scars. Her body shudders, her bottom lip trembling with her emotion. “How close was it?” she whispers.

My muscles sink, and I swallow hard. “I was in the hospital for a week. They had to give me a blood transfusion to get my levels back up…” I pause for a moment, trying to keep my balance. “From there, I went into a psychiatric facility for a while. A long while. Until my doctors thought I was ready to come back out into the world.”

Her eyes widen, a terrified expression crossing her features as she moves to sit. Her breathing quickens as I face her. “Alex… you should have called me. I would have come straight back home.”

My eyes drop from hers. “I gave up on everything, on everyone, Bea. I didn’t want to drag you down with me. Not when you were off in San Jose living a great life.”

She reaches out, grabbing my hands and forcing me to snap my eyes up to hers. “It wasn’t a great life, Alex . I was miserable. Sure, I had Theo and a group of friends, but the only thing I was excited about was receiving an email from you. To think I could have lost you…” She bursts into a full river of tears, and I reach out, grab her, and pull her to me tightly.

“I’m okay, baby. I got onto a regime of antidepressants, which I still take now to keep my head straight, and being a part of the club has helped. Belonging to something and having a band of brothers to support me has been the lifeline I didn’t know I needed.”

She sniffles, glancing up at me, the regret clearly visible in her eyes. “I am so glad you found a home here. And that it’s my home now too. But I wish I stood up to my parents back then. That they didn’t pressure me to head off to San Jose to be with Theo. I should have been better for you. I should have been the girlfriend I wanted to be. And shouldn’t have left you when you needed me the most. I will never forgive myself for that, Alex.”

Bringing my hand up to her cheek, I caress her face. “Everything happens for a reason. I believe that now. You had to leave for San Jose to learn everything you could to start your app. If you didn’t go, you would never have created something that helps so many people.”

Her shoulders slump, reaching for my hands, turning them over. “If I didn’t leave, this wouldn’t have happened,” she states, her thumbs grazing over my tattoos, covering my scars again.

Weakly smiling, I shrug. “The thing is, Bea, these Norse words written across my scars, do you know what they say?” I ask. She shakes her head, and I continue, “On my left wrist, it says ‘Stay.’ On my right, it says ‘Strong,’ and it’s written in the language of Loki from Norse mythology. Not to be confused with Loki from Marvel.”

She smiles. “No, of course not. We wouldn’t want to get those confused,” she teases.

Grinning, I peer over her shoulder to the same picture of Jason I have in my den of when we were kids, dressed up at Halloween. He was Loki— from Marvel, in this case —and I was Freddy Krueger. She follows my line of sight, a small smile crossing her lips. “Jason is the reason your road name is Loki, isn’t it?” she asks, turning back to face me.

Nodding, a genuine smile lights my face. “Yeah. It’s to honor him, and these tattoos are to remind me to ‘stay strong’ every single day and fight for the life he didn’t get to have.”

Another tear slowly slides down her face. “I wasn’t there for you after Jason. I wasn’t there when you went through your own hell. I am sooo … fucking… sorry.”

“We sure did fuck this up, didn’t we?”

Bea stops just before her lips touch mine. “Maybe… but I think we’re getting this new part right, don’t you?”

I slide my hand up into the back of her hair, gripping tightly, and pull her lips to mine, kissing her much more passionately this time.

She is my everything.

She always has been.

And always will be.

Only now, she’s my Old Lady.

She is officially mine, and I will do everything in my power to be the type of man she deserves.

This time, we’re going to make it.

I don’t expect that all my problems will be fixed overnight with Bea here. But I do know it’s going to make my life a hell of a lot better.

And I can’t wait to start our lives together.

Even if it is thirteen years later than I had planned.

First thing in the morning, I’m going to take Bea for a ride back to where it all began for us. Even though it will be hard going home, the memories there might not seem as daunting now.

All I know is, with Bea by my side, I might be able to face the demons haunting me about Jason—and I also know, my mother is going to get one hell of a kick out of seeing Bea wearing my property patch!