Swamp Kings 1 (Bayou Bishops #18)

CHAPTER TWO

Phelony’s legs quit working at seeing all the people.

“What’s wrong?” Theodore wondered, their arms stretched between them as he gave her a little tug.

“Biscuits,” she gasped, getting Theodore’s full attention as he turned and aimed his sexy smile right at her. “What a crowd,” she said. “I mean, which is good.” She couldn’t be ruining moods. “I just need to find my grits and my girls.” She tiptoed, trying to see their little hideout. “We have a secret meet and greet planned from the roof of the soap house. Binoculars and everything.”

He put his hand on her shoulder and stepped in front of her, that beautiful face smiling right at her, so much more than curiosity in his soft chocolate eyes.

“Binoculars?”

Her pulse leapt when his humored gaze lowered to her mouth. “For the… th e robot people. Mostly.”

His smile turned into a laugh as he covered her mouth with his, turning her into a melted marshmallow. “Robot people, huh?” he muttered on her mouth. “Maybe I can get you personal introductions. I might know a guy.”

She sucked in a breath at the terrifying idea, and he pulled back, grinning at her. “No?”

“From a distance is plenty,” she thought, getting his hungry mouth and moan again.

“Why are you so fucking edible? I always want to eat you.”

The hot accusation brought a sizzling zing in her blood as she remembered how very good he was at that. Followed by a wave of shame that he’d even dared to! She’d never known the sexual things he did to her. Never even heard of them. He’d found that sexy. He was constantly making her realize how very little she knew about most things. Particularly herself. She’d had an immaculately hideous image carved onto her mind before he got miracled into her life. Every day he shattered this view and everyday she’d build the ugly picture back.

But Lord oh lord, the hope and glory of his words were more terrifying than her pathetic, hopeless existence she’d come to accept.

Dear God, thank you, thank you, thank you for my Bacon miracle. He was the first food she could consume without gaining anything but spotless pleasure and speechless joy. She hoped he kept shattering her to pieces every day. She prayed he never stopped ‘til she saw the beautiful woman he did in he r.

He pulled her off the path and she wondered, “Where we goin’?”

“You’ll see,” he said, tossing another one of those smiles that said there would be a fire coming. But sweat-n-swamp, all his smiles meant that. Every day she pinched herself to make sure it was all real. She just wished her stomach would eventually unknot. It was on constant standby for a fatal punch in the gut. Because he shouldn’t be with her. She shouldn’t be with him. When would the clock strike midnight and everything get returned to the sad, dirty things?

It was wrong to dwell on the negative, she knew that, and tried diligently to change it. Didn’t need to be plantin’ and watering such godawful things.

She watched Theodore’s fine butt in his blue jeans as he led her to a small building just off the main Bishop’s property. Her pulse hammered when he stopped and turned.

His mouth landed on hers with a hot hunger that melted her like a stick of torched butter. Her brain split into a dozen dirty pieces, not all of ‘em the nice kind of dirty. It was especially hard not to think negatively about herself when he put his hands all over her like that. Feeling what she was. It wasn’t the worst thing unless you had a beautiful man feeling you up all over the way he seemed to love doing. He explored every inch of her imperfection with the kind of measures not even she made. There was something wrong with him, finding all her lumps and rolls even remotely acceptable. She refused to label them sexy or hot, not on planet Earth. In fact, if he were her size, she wouldn’t find it sexy at all. She’d told him so. Which he found funny, but it was the swamp sinner’s truth. She’d always wanted to change it, and now she had all the incentives in the world she could ever need. Even if it was painfully slow, she’d get there. She’d done the math even. Being five foot five inches, she could get to a size ten in… realistically, six months’ time if she was diligent. And she was.

“I’m not interested in anything but your health, baby.”

Precious peanut. She loved that she was able to believe that with him. She wasn’t about to be a Negative Noony on the matter, she knew the truth when she saw or heard it and when he spoke to her about those things, it was straight up truth with no seasoning.

“Damn, baby, relax,” he softly begged. He pulled up, staring down at her.

“I’m sorry,” she lamented, breathless. “You tell me to relax, and it makes it worse!”

“You remember what we talked about? ”

She nodded, positively. She remembered all the words he ever said, but… which words was he meaning? “About the… eating healthy?”

He put his forehead on hers with a sigh that put fear in her gut. “Everything is not about food, Phelony.”

She swallowed and nodded. “It is to me,” she barely whispered, honoring the honesty code she’d sworn to. “I’m trying to change it, I really am.”

“That,” he said, grabbing hold of her jaw, staring at her mouth. “You’re thinking I’m counting sins that only exist in your head and when I reach a certain number, I’m done and leaving. I’m not that man,” he swore, back to kissing her, delicately now. “I’m the man that stays ‘til you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and then I stay some more. And cook all your favorite dishes. And feed them to you. Eat them off your pussy,” he murmured, tracing her lips with his tongue as a demonstration. Dear heaven and the holiest things.

God, thank you for my miracle man. Please help me think straight.

The urge to grab hold of his pretty face and show him what he meant to her didn’t get shoved aside. His hungry surprise put her on a roller coaster as she fulfilled that reckless fantasy, lowering to her knees and bringing his gasps and moans. Mercy, she could live on her knees with his beautiful cock in her mouth. Consuming his body was like divine food. She could have all she wanted and not gain a single ounce.

“Phelony,” he whispered, holding her head in his large hands.

He was so gentle. Until he took control. And oh, how she loved when he did. She moaned just right, letting him know it’s what she wanted most of all. And he was very good at reading all her secret sounds and looks, his lust becoming all knowing, his own moans telling her just how well he knew it. And loved it.

“You’re being my fucking good girl?” He grunted when she forced the head harder against her throat in answer, her nails raking his hot, hard, abs. “Your sexy mouth looks delicious wrapping my dick. I see what you like, baby. How you like it. And how you want it.” She moaned harder when he grabbed her perfect bun of curls in his fist and pulled so hard, his breaths hot. “You try to do everything alone, but I think you need somebody making you do things right,” he whispered on thick breaths. “You wanna play that game with me, baby? You want me to make you be a good girl and punish you when you’re fucking bad?”

She gave her moans and nods, closing her jaw just enough to rake his silky, hard cock, loving how he reacted when she did. It always turned him up three more notches then sent him over the edge .

“Mmm, fuck ,” he seethed, pulling her hair harder as he fucked her mouth so fast now. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” he ground out around sexy groans. She was horny out of her head now, drinking him down while knowing what was sure to come after. Her, always her.

He pulled her up and put her back against the shed, yanking at her blue jean button, his tongue in her mouth, licking with those hungry for more groans.

She helped get them to her knees and he stroked her folds, holding her jaw while he got back to his nasty kissing. He blasted a groan in her mouth, feeling her pussy. “Look how fucking drenched you are.”

She cried out around his tongue as he shoved two fingers in, his thumb pressing into her clit. Her closed legs made it feel so different, the restriction not at all hated as he fucked her pussy with a punishing jab.

“That’s what you needed?”

“Yes!” she cried, his groans threatening, promising worse things, things she always fantasized about.

“Succulent pussy,” he grit.

Her dirty secret man was there, playing. He lurked behind all his hot, sexy sounds. She tried again to become whatever might draw him out all the way—pathetic, helpless, desperate, begging. He seemed to like all those things, and she turned it up to one hundred, feeling his breath get ragged, his mouth more demanding. And those thrusts, lord have mercy, he was being so very rough now. So perfect. She wanted him to go wild on her, to know what that would feel like. But there was always something holding him back. She wished she knew what so she could smash it to smithereens.

“Oh! Theo!” she cried, getting his crushing mouth on hers, eating the orgasm from her breaths as he groaned and fingered her to heavenly pieces.

“Damn, that’s what I’m talking about,” he breathed, nibbling her gasping mouth. “You need these five fucking times a day.”

“Five,” she marveled, the word flying out between breaths as he grinned right on her astonished mouth.

“Six, if you prefer even numbers.”

****

“Are you sure this is going to hold us all up?” Phelony whispered, crawling her way to the edge of the roof where a line of women lay sprawled and waiting with binoculars.

“This thing has withstood all the hurricanes,” Juliette assured.

“Hurry and park your fine ass, I think I hear them swamp dragons coming,” Tegan whispered .

“They’ll be coming from the back,” Mah-Mah reminded.

“Where’s my damn list of names?” Beth squealed.

“Right here,” Maggie giggled.

“Crap, I thought I dropped it.”

“I got a copy if you did,” Mah-Mah said.

“How many robot people are there again?” Phelony wondered, getting a round of giggles.

“Five,” Beth said.

“And they all have wives?” Cherie asked.

“The one called Quantum is the King,” Beth said. “He has a wife.”

“A nun,” Mah-Mah helped. “Isla. And those other three ones have wives.”

“The triplets,” Maggie said, excited.

“The terror triplets,” Beth added.

“Terror?” Phelony worried. “Why terror?”

“Probably cause they’re terrifying!” Tegan imagined.

“Bishop said it’s because they’re from the mind of one of the other people coming.” Beth flipped her pages around. “There’s a man named Kult who had split personalities and Quantum removed them from his mind and put them into their own bodies.”

The gasps were unanimous.

“They can do that?” Tully marveled.

“Apparently,” Gracie said. “Ruckus said they’re demons of nightmares.”

“What does that mean?” Maggie worried.

“That they come to the minds of people who suffer certain kinds of trauma.”

Gracie’s elaboration brought on a stunned silence.

“What kind of trauma?” Tegan quietly pressed.

“He said the kind a human can’t survive without divine assistance.”

“But, you said demons,” Claire’s quiet voice barely carried.

“He said good or bad, both are divine.”

“Why would bad devils wanna help him?” Maggie wondered.

“Oh, they don’t,” Gracie said. “He said they want to take over the vessel and fulfill its wicked lusts which the vessel is already full of. Due to the trauma,” she said, sounding half sure now.

“You’re telling me they’re demons with their own bodies?” Cat cried quietly.

“And wives!? ” Mia added, down the line.

“Nun wives!” Tegan tacked on.

“Maybe they keep their devils in line,” Mah-Mah thought.

“Maybe,” Beth said. “Their programming does that too. They’re all made to obey their directive. Protect their wives and the innocent. ”

Tegan busted out in snickers. “If that is for real , it just beats all ! Demons being forced to do good. Must chap their asses.”

“What if they malfunction?” Sophia wondered, the alarm not missed.

“They aren’t supposed to be able to,” Beth said.

“You sound as sure as a gator in a gunfight,” Mah-Mah muttered.

“Bishop has his concerns,” Beth admitted lowly.

“You said there’s five robots,” Maggie reminded.

“Right,” Beth said, looking over the sheet. “Kaphas!”

“Ohhh, these names, ” Phelony marveled.

“What’s his story?” Tegan urged.

“That one’s a tangled-up mess. From what I understand, he was part of a man who had five literal men living in him.”

“What the hell, ” Mah-Mah cried with a single laugh of disbelief.

“I know,” Beth seemed to agree. “But given there are actual robots able to mate with human women makes anything seem plausible. He’s with a nun named Celeste. Before he had a body, they put him in a suit of armor.”

“A suit of armor!” Tully balked for all of them. “What on earth for?”

“To punish him for lying about Butterfly being pregnant!” Beth said.

“And why on earth he do that?” Tegan asked, confused.

“I don’t know that one, but I definitely intend to find out.”

“We need to find us a source, ” Juliette muttered. “One that knows all and will tell all.”

“Agreed,” Beth said.

“Maybe the Quantum Queen,” Maggie said. “Oh, I want to touch all of them.”

“Yesssss, girl,” Tegan drawled, eagerly. “I’ll bring your paper and pencils.”

“Maybe I can… touch them.”

All eyes turned to Shank’s pretty Sophie.

“Hell to the yeah,” Juliette approved before looking at Beth. “And maybe you can just ask any one of them real nicely with your Wonder Words.”

Beth’s laugh shot out before her breath sucked in. “I forgot about the baby!”

“Tell us girl,” Tegan hurried.

“I mentioned the Handy one lied.”

“The who one?” Juliette asked.

“Kaphas,” she corrected. “He was Handy before he got his new body.”

“Mercy, I’ma need me a valium,” Mah-Mah cried, getting a round of laughs.

“So Kaphas had a baby?” Cherie pressed.

“No, Butterfly. ”

“But I thought that was—”

“After she found out she wasn’t pregnant after all, Kaphas found a baby in the trash at an abortion clinic and brought it home to her.”

Gasps and awwwws filled the air while Phelony wondered what in the world they were doing at such a place.

“Guess what they named him,” Beth said, with wide eyes.

“What?” they all demanded at her grin.

“Garbagio.”

That brought a blast of pure shock from every mouth.

“You lie,” Juliette said, getting Beth’s adamant head shake.

“The one called Kult named him that.”

“The one that had the demons,” Cat remembered.

“But Butterfly calls him Bagio.”

Another round of awwwws.

“That’s a hell of a lot better,” Tegan said, seeming to holster her fighting words for now.

The Swamp Dragons made a turn in the swamp that brought deafening roars to the air around them.

“Woohoooo!” Juliette yelled. “Been a while since we heard that many at once!”

“Sounds like an army of angels riding in on thunder! ” Mah-Mah yelled as the racket grew.

They were all standing now, each one holding on to the other while Phelony kept her ass planted on the roof. She wasn’t about to risk her life and die right when she had everything to live for.

She spotted a pair of binoculars and snatched them. She lay on the roof, searching for her baby in the crowd of people all facing the dock behind the big house now. He was probably in the party of men headed to retrieve them. Lord have mercy, this was really happening. Robots and nuns coming to their swamps . Pinch me and call me a pickled pepper.