Take Me (Enslaved #1)

CHAPTER 1

“Have you ever been choked?” Nikolai asks, sliding his hand onto my neck with a featherlight touch that sends a flurry of shivers down my arm.

“No,” I gasp as he positions his fingers on my pulse points.

“Do you know what happens if I press here?”

I shake my head as I pant through parted lips, my pulse pounding against his fingers.

“I can take your breath away in two ways. If I press here, I’ll shut off the oxygen to your brain.” He snaps his fingers. “In a matter of seconds, you’re out.” He moves across my skin until his palm rests in a snug fit around my throat. “But if I press here.” He gives a slight squeeze that tightens at the front of my neck. “I’ll shut off the air that goes into your lungs.”

He tightens further, and his breaths grow heavy as he revels in the power of controlling something as crucial as my ability to breathe. The pressure in my head builds as the blood gathers there, but what is far more frightening is the constriction on my windpipe. I can still breathe almost normally, but the threat is stark and obtrusive.

“It will take a lot longer before you pass out this way.” Caressing my arm with his knuckles, he speaks in a gentle tone. “I’ll get to enjoy your struggle as your strength slowly drains from your body.”

Fear becomes a speedy swoosh in my veins.

I shouldn’t let him do this. I really shouldn’t.

Five days of hot sex is no way near enough to let a man twice my size put me in such a vulnerable position. Especially not one I’ve just met at some Romanian bar and don’t know anything about—except that he’s Russian and loaded, which is a major red flag in itself. But I also shouldn’t have let him tie me down or spank me after four days. But that ship has already sailed.

“Do you trust me?” he asks in his delicious, accented baritone, leaning so close that his hot breath tickles my ear.

His strength is carefully controlled as he presses a little harder, restricting my breath to small gulps of air. And maybe this is why I nod. It’s a minuscule motion against his massive hand, but I mean it. I trust him not to harm me. That measured control feels safe.

“Hmm,” he rumbles, satisfied with my response. “Then maybe I should take it a step further.”

A tiny mewl is my only response before he clamps his other hand over my mouth and pinches my nose between two fingers.

Terror crawls across my skin even as heat spreads through my core.

I inhale hard against his hand, hoping for a crack between his fingers—a tiny opening at the edge. But no such luck. His hand is massive, the seal tight.

I writhe against him to test how helpless I am, and the result is the same. My strength is no match for his. I might be fairly strong for my petite size, but it’s like comparing a rabbit to a lion. He’s over six feet tall with a natural broad build and well-defined muscles.

So I accept defeat and sink into him, seeking his strength to balance out the feeling of being a tiny flower in a field full of trampling feet.

“You don’t have any control.” His voice takes on a dark edge that makes me doubt if I really did read him right—if his control isn’t more dangerous than safe. “If I want to end you right here and now, I’ll just hold on a little longer. There’s nothing you can do about it. Not even with your hands free.”

Doubt swirls in my mind as the need to breathe convulses in my lungs. I groan against his hand in an effort to let him know I’ve had enough. He has read me well enough during the last few days of kinky exploration, always pausing when he hits a limit, so he will this time too.

I hope.

“Go ahead,” he coaxes. “See if I’m right.”

“Mm, mm,” I whimper, trying to shake my head. This is not fun anymore. I really need to breathe.

He releases my throat to stroke my hair. The gesture is gentle and loving, but the hand over my mouth remains. The loss of his grip on my neck should give me a chance to break free, but when I jerk against him, there’s no give.

Panic builds in my oxygen-starved system, and I put in all my strength as I struggle against his strong body and shoot my hands up to yank at his arm.

But it’s still no use. With one single hand, he has me in a vise, and the other hand seems to mock me with the fact as he keeps caressing. Blurry spots form in my vision, and the strength seeps from my limbs, rendering me even more helpless.

All I can think is that I shouldn’t be here. Stupid, stupid me. I fell for a charming businessman, went with him to his hotel, and let him introduce me to a world of kink I’d always dreamed of exploring but never dared to. I put my trust in him because he seemed convincing and in control of his dark urges.

And now I’m going to pay the ultimate price.

Tears trickle down my cheeks as the realization settles into my mind. But my pussy is happy and wet, having had the time of its life. If it could voice an opinion, it would say it was all worth it.

But it’s not. Nothing is worth dying in the arms of a psychopath.

I jerk as the last energy drains from my body and darkness slithers along the edges of my mind. The only life left within me is the stuttering in my lungs as they are still trying to access precious oxygen.

“Hmm,” he hums as he wraps an arm around my waist to steady my weight. “I love seeing you on the brink of consciousness. And I’d love to see you lose it too.” He presses a sweet kiss to the top of my head, and I twitch in one last feeble attempt at escape as the darkness closes in. But just before it can claim me, he releases my mouth. “But I want to hear your screams again.”

The oxygen is an assault on my lungs as I suck in a huge gulp of air. It stings my deprived tissues and sets my blood swooshing through my veins to carry new vitality through my system.

The shock wrenches a sob from my throat, and suddenly, I’m shaking all over, heaving to access air for a whole different reason. I hug my arms around myself in a poor attempt to soothe the shaken feeling rattling in my body.

Nikolai turns me around in his arms and cradles me against him, offering the comfort I badly need. But I don’t want him. He’s the one who caused this distress.

“No. Let me go.” I try to pull away, but he won’t let me.

“Shh,” he simply soothes, curving a gentle hand around the back of my head.

“Let me go!” I cry over and over. My words blend with uncontrollable sobs as I bang my fists against his chest. “I hate you, you sick bastard. I fucking hate you!”

Moving two fingers between my legs, he slides into my wetness and thrusts straight into my pussy. “I don’t think you do.”

“Ah!” I cry, bucking against him.

He pumps in and out with punishing force, and I’m mortified to hear the slick sound coming from between my thighs. I’m even more horrified to hear the moans blending into the mix of sounds coming up my throat.

But my brain has no capacity to linger on the wrongness of it all. The pain and the desire crashing inside me take up all room and render rational thought impossible.

“Noo,” I protest, yet I cling to his thick arms and burrow my head against his naked chest as I keep crying and moaning. Because he’s the only source of comfort—the only stability I can find in this chaos. And the only one who can deliver me from this raging need that suddenly has my entire body teetering on the edge.

Grabbing me by the arms, he throws me onto the bed. He slides down beside me, wrapping me up in his arms as he sinks his massive length into me. “I’ve got you,” he reassures, stroking my hair out of my face and pressing kisses to my tear-stained cheeks as he fucks me. “Let go and let me take control over you, just like I did your breath. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

God, his words melt away my last resistance. They’re full of the same promise that made me fall for him in the first place. The promise of safety amidst the storm.

So I release what little control I have left and come apart in his arms. I shudder through the rolling currents of my orgasm, curling my toes and arching my back even as the tears keep falling.

“Good girl,” he whispers against my hair. His fingers dig into my hips as he jerks against me, his movements stuttering as he finds his own release. “Such. A good. Fucking. Girl.”

***

“Are you okay?” Nikolai asks, tucking his white shirt into his pants, when I come out of the bathroom.

I stop in the middle of the enormous hotel suite and wrap the towel tighter around myself. “I think so,” I say tentatively. Nikolai spent an hour holding me after he fucked me, but remnants of the panicked fear he instilled within me still linger, making me feel frazzled and fragile.

“Come here.” He sits on the bed and pats the spot beside him.

I tiptoe across the space and gingerly sink onto the white sheets.

Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he presses his lips to my hair. “I’m sorry I scared you, but I’m also not sorry. I needed to test your boundaries before we part ways. I’ve been with too many women who say they’re into kinky shit, pleasure and pain and all that, only to run away screaming when I step beyond playful sadism. I couldn’t wait a month or two to find out. Not with my busy schedule.”

Part of me gets him. Once this week is over, it will be a while before we can see each other again. I’m going hiking in the Carpathian Mountains for two weeks, and when I get back, he will have left the country and will have a full month of back-to-back meetings and various business engagements to attend to in different parts of the world. So who knows when we’ll get to see each other again? I’ve considered cutting another week off my hiking trip—maybe skipping it altogether—to get more time with him, but when I told him that idea last night, he immediately shot it down, promising he’d make sure we’d see each other again soon.

“You couldn’t have waited two more days at least?” I chance a glance up at him and meet a grave expression.

“I couldn’t. I need time with you after such brutality—to make sure you’re okay and to handle any drops.”

“I’m okay,” I say.

Nikolai grabs my chin, forcing me to stare into the blazing intensity of his gaze. “You’re not.”

I flit my eyes up and down, suddenly feeling uncertain. And scared. Is he going to cast me aside now because I didn’t pass the test and can’t handle his dark brand of dominance?

Sure, it was more than intense. It was terrifying, really. But God, the thrill. The thought of never getting to experience such a high again—to be without his expert touch—makes it hard to breathe.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations.” I push off the bed and hurry toward my pile of clothes in the fancy armchair. I knew this man was way out of my league from the start. I knew it would end with me getting hurt.

He’s behind me in an instant, tossing away the jeans I was holding and snatching me by the back of my neck.

The air leaves me with a thud as he shoves me up against the wall, and God help me, I can’t stop myself from arching back into him. I’m so goddamn helpless with this man in every sense of the word; I can’t even control my body.

And he’s too observant to let any small reaction slip past him.

Locking his free hand onto my hip, he holds me in the alluring position and presses the hard bulge in his pants against my ass.

“I’m not done with you,” he sneers into my ear. “The things I’m gonna do to you...” he trails off, leaving the dark promise hanging.

“I thought I couldn’t handle you,” I retort with reckless irritation.

He lets out a low chuckle—a sinister one that has icy chills skating down my skin, shuddering in my bones. “You can’t. But you’re the first woman who’s even gotten close, so now you have to.”

He tightens his grip around my neck with a strength that makes me yelp. Again, I think how reckless I am. I should have left when I had the chance. Before he takes it a step further. And one more. Until he decides he wants to snuff out my breath for good.

I’ve seen the darkness in his eyes. At first, I thought it was a mere reflection of the primal nature of his sexual energy, but now I think it runs much deeper.

Still, I can’t keep from moaning when he shoves a finger between my legs, flicking it over my clit and stirring crazy arousal within seconds.

“You’re mine now,” he whispers into my ear. “You’d better get used to that idea. Because there’s no backing out.”

His words light up the alarm bells in my head anew. I flatten my hands on the wall and try to push back, maybe flee this hotel room altogether and never look back. But once again, he has me trapped with a single hand. So I try something else.

“I’m scared,” I confess, feeling utterly vulnerable as the words leave my mouth.

Leaning close, he brushes his fingers along my cheek, his voice softening to accompany the gentleness. “I know. It’s so fucking beautiful. The way you tremble beneath my touch even as you arch for more.” He releases my neck to slide both arms around me, pressing me into his warm body as he whispers. “You’re perfect.”

No man has ever scared me so much, and no man has ever made me feel so safe. The combination is like a drug, clouding my mind and sending a thrilling rush through my veins.

I lean back into him, throwing all good judgment out the window as I bare myself to him. “I’m scared you’re going to hurt me.”

He turns me around and leans down to press his lips to mine in an intimate kiss that has our tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. It all comes naturally. I’ve never had such an effortless, wonderful kiss.

“I am going to hurt you,” he says bluntly as he breaks the kiss and slips his hand into my auburn hair, grabbing it close to the roots as if to prove his point. “But I’m always gonna put you back together like I did after I took your breath. Can you trust that?”

“I don’t know.” I search his eyes for some kind of reassurance. And I do find it. But I also find as many reasons not to trust him. “I want to, but...”

He relieves me of the burden of explaining. “Don’t worry. It’ll come. For now, just let me prove it to you again.” He presses down on my shoulders. “Get on your knees and take out my cock.”

I land on the floor with a thud and scramble to open his belt and zipper. His cock springs free, long and hard.

“Take it in your mouth,” he demands, wrapping my long hair around his hand in a firm grip that has pins and needles prickling at the back of my head.

I grab the base and dart my tongue across the tip.

“In your mouth,” he scolds, and before I can obey, he pulls my head forward, filling my mouth with his massive size and hitting the back of my throat.

My stomach contracts, and I cough and sputter around him as I try to subdue the urge to gag.

He tuts. “No one’s taught you how to take a cock in your throat?”

I shake my head around the thick intrusion.

“Then we’ll have to do it the hard way. I don’t have the time to teach you.” He draws back enough to tip my head up. “Too bad for you.” He swipes his thumb across my chin to catch a drop of spit. Then he digs both hands into my hair and holds me in place as he shoves forward. He keeps advancing, all the way to the back of my throat, even as I gag and gasp around him. “More fun for me,” he adds with a satisfied grunt.

I clutch his thighs as spit drips from my mouth and water trickles from my eyes.

Scoffing, he says, “You are aware it’s only halfway in, right? Before we’re done here, your lips will be around the base. And I’ll be deep inside your throat.”

Panic flares in my mind at the thought. Shoving at his thighs, I moan and groan my protest, unable to form any sensical words around his length. But just like before, I’m helpless. I’m stuck here, at the mercy of this powerful stranger—stuck between my fear and lust.

“Oh yes, you’re taking all of me. Relax your throat,” he urges, reaching down to caress the front of my neck.

I let out a garbled sound in protest as I dig my nails into his thighs.

“I don’t mind if you vomit around my cock, but I’m not so sure you’d like it, so I suggest you do as I say.” He keeps stroking up and down, coaxing me to relax, even as he holds my hair with burning strength.

His unwavering power works its way into me, tugging at some strange place I never knew existed. He makes it sound so easy. Just obey and let him take care of the rest. It’s so simple.

So I give in to his capable hands, relax my throat, and notice how the urge to gag eases.

“That’s it,” he praises on a long, languid breath. “Keep it like that. Steady breaths.” He moves his hips, ever so slowly, pressing his cock forward. “Take a deep breath.”

He pauses, and the air stutters past my lips as I inhale. There’s just enough room around his cock to let it slip past, into my lungs, and when he moves another increment, the hole is fully blocked. I try to breathe again, but no air comes in, no air goes out.

Digging my hands into his thighs anew, I feel myself hovering on the precipice, about to crash into a new burst of panic.

Reading my reaction with startling precision, like he’s done every other time he’s pushed me, he says, “Don’t worry, you have enough air to last a little longer. Just focus on relaxing your throat.”

I close my eyes and direct my focus toward my neck. My muscles are tense again, and I imagine a warm flow of energy seeping through them and washing away the strain. It takes a couple of moments, but I manage, and pride swells inside me at his appraisal.

“Good girl. Keep going like that. Just forget about your breath. I’ll let you have more air when needed. No asphyxiation this time. I promise.”

His words send a current of heat coursing through me, making it easier to keep my muscles relaxed as he pushes a little farther. He repeats a few times, pushing on, then giving me a moment to adjust before advancing again. I’m so focused on taking his length that I barely notice the need for air twitch in my lungs. When he pulls out, I automatically drag in a large gulp.

Relief courses through me as I realize he kept his promise, and I crane my neck to look up at him with a smile tugging at my lips.

“You’re doing so well.” He slides his thumb across the edge of my mouth to catch a drop of spit. “But you still have a little ways to go.”

He prods the thick head against my lips, and I eagerly open up, welcoming the salty taste of his precum. I’ve never cared much for blowjobs, but having Nikolai’s cock in my mouth is as rewarding as it’s scary—and the latter only drives the heated lust that seems to have become a constant hum since I met him.

As if reading my thoughts, he says, “Touch your fingers between your legs to see if my cunt is wet.”

I make a garbled sound as he hits the back of my mouth, and I go still for a second as I work to subdue my gag reflex. Once I have it under control, I slip my fingers between my folds and go rigid once more as I feel the dripping slickness. I knew I was kinky, but I could have never imagined this much.

“Show me,” Nikolai orders.

Blood seeps into my face, and I shake my head around his cock.

“Show me!” With a hand on the back of my head, he shoves himself into my throat, making me jerk and stutter from the suddenness. My stomach convulses as my gag reflex threatens to activate. I shoot my hand up, hoping it will make him pull out.

Nikolai grabs my wrist tight and draws back a smidgen, just enough to allow me a crack of air, and I’m so focused on breathing slowly and relaxing my muscles that I barely hear him tut. It’s only when he speaks that I notice the mockery.

“You really are a horny little girl. Already slick and ready to take my cock again. It’s a shame I want to use your mouth.” He pulls out and locks his fingers around my jaw as he leans down to taunt me right in my face. “Such a horny little bitch like you shouldn’t go wanting. I’ll make sure you’ll get all the cock your filthy pussy desires.”

With a suddenness that has me reeling, he straightens and shoves straight back into my mouth. One long steady thrust until he’s halfway down my throat.

“I can’t wait to see what a good little sex toy you’ll become.”

I can’t think, I can’t move, I can’t see. His violent dominance has wiped out everything except the need to obey, and his words barely even register as I put all my focus into taking his length as he works his way inside.

It takes a couple of tries and several pauses for air, but finally, I’m able to take his full length. He sinks in place, rooted to the hilt, deep in my throat. My mind is mush, and I’ve lost control over my body. My hips keep grinding in hungry circles as my pussy drips onto the floor, drool spills in strings from my mouth, and my head lulls in Nikolai’s commanding grip.

“You’ll become such a good little whore, taking whatever cock I give you. Both mine and whatever men I whore you out to. You’ll be such a horny little slut that you won’t be able to think about anything else.” Nikolai strokes his knuckles along my cheek, and I aim my blurry eyes up at him to find his expression firm with a dark promise that looks terrifyingly sincere. But I know the words are only meant to degrade and drive my lust, so I just moan my agreement, barely knowing what he’s saying anyway.

It’s only when he pulls out and starts masturbating in front of my face that some of the fog clears up. Surprised, I blink up at him and down at his moving hand. I thought he’d come in my mouth, but he clearly has other intentions, and his cock isn’t even aimed at my head, but at the floor.

“Spread your legs,” he demands.

I obey, and disappointment bears down on me as I realize he’s going to come on the floor between my legs. It seems almost cruel after everything he just put me through, preparing my throat to take him. It’s like I’m not worthy of him, and emotions well up inside me as I stare from my parted legs to his pumping hand and up at his emotionless face.

Nikolai tightens his grip on my hair when I try to look away from his cock. “Watch it!”

I press my lips together as I try to rein in an acute sense of defeat, but a tear slips from my eyes anyway. It only seems to drive his lust. He lets out a groan and picks up speed, and his grip on my hair becomes so hard that I yelp as he shoots his cum onto the floor. Right between my legs. A cruel statement.

“Did you really think you deserved to taste my orgasm?” He yanks my hair back, forcing me to face his cruel expression. It’s like seeing an entirely different man than the one who held me tenderly only a little while ago. I feel dirty and wrong, sitting here at the foot of a stranger and letting him degrade me like this. I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’m about to break into tears, but Nikolai breaks me from the hurt with a sharp command. “Lick it up.”

My eyes go wide. “Wh—what?”

He sinks to his haunches in front of me, still holding my hair, and speaks in a frighteningly low tone that weighs the words down with his Russian accent. “I said. Lick. It. Up.”

He shoves my head into the pool of cum, and I dart my tongue out to lap it up. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I feel warped and depraved, but his command has blotted out what little ability to think was left in my mind. So I keep licking like a mindless beast as he smears my head around in the pool of our juices.

“Such a good little bitch.” His words are as full of taunt as praise, and the combination drives me deeper into the base state where I’m nothing but his to use. It’s as harrowing as it’s freeing, and I keep whimpering and sniffling even as my body thrums with desire.

When he finally lets me sit up on my knees again, I just stare at him, unable to care about the sticky mess on my face and my runny nose.

“Such a dirty little girl.” He tuts and swipes a thumb through the mess on my face. “Come here, my sweet Lisichka ,” he says, calling me the Russian diminutive for fox as he pulls me into his arms, and I mold my body into his like I was made to be there. A peace unlike anything I’ve ever felt settles over me as he strokes my hair and holds me like I’m the most precious thing in the world.

***

Two days later, Nikolai has his driver take us to the train station to send me off to the Carpathian Mountains and let me enjoy the vacation I had planned.

The sun is setting beyond the tracks as we walk hand in hand toward the far end of the platform to get a little privacy while we wait for my train.

A twisty, wistful sort of feeling tightens my stomach and mixes with the butterflies that have been flapping constantly for a week. I clasp Nikolai’s big hand in an effort to alleviate the queasiness.

“You’re awfully quiet.” He sets my backpack and a plastic bag with some mysterious contents on the concrete ground and presses a reassuring hand to my arm. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this quiet since I met you.” He makes this amused lift of his eyebrows. “Not even when I was inside you.”

My cheeks heat. I’m a bit of a screamer. At least with Nikolai. My throat is still raw from all the staggering orgasms he’s given me.

I give him a careful smile. “I was quiet when you took my breath.”

His amusement fades and gives way to something dark and threatening. Lifting his fingers to my neck, he grazes the hollow at my windpipe and watches my throat bob as I gulp. “ That made you very quiet.”

I tip my head back a little, baring the vulnerable spot to this stranger. I know it’s reckless, but I trust him. If he wanted to harm me, he had plenty of chances.

“I’ll do that again.” He moves his eyes back to mine, leveling me with a serious expression. “But there are a few things you need to learn first.”

“Like what?”

His nostrils flare with something feral that sends a surge of fear through me. It’s the same sensation I’ve felt over and over again through the last week, but instead of letting it fester in my chest, I let it roll on to gather in heated throbs between my legs.

“You’ll see. All in good time.”

I sigh. I don’t want to see ‘in good time.’ I want it all right now.

“Come here.” With an arm around my waist, he pulls me into him and wraps me in a tight hug.

This time, my sigh is peaceful. As quickly as he can set my pulse pounding with fear, he can make it settle into a tranquil rhythm. I fold my arms between us and soak up the feeling of his strong, wide chest and inhale his rich, earthy scent that makes me think of pine trees and wet moss. One of my favorite scents in the world.

He holds me close, creating a safe nest for me in his warm embrace. Curling up against him, becoming all small and vulnerable, has been the most natural thing in the world since the first time he took me in his arms. It’s part of the dynamic that has crackled between us from the first moment our eyes locked at the bar where we met. He’s the masculine pole to my femininity. He takes control and I give it up.

I can’t believe it’s only been a week. He might still be a stranger in most ways, but he feels familiar and safe as I press myself into him—like I’ve known him for months. It’s crazy how quickly I’ve grown attached to this man. Scary, really. But it also feels right. Like he’s strong enough to carry the responsibility of the uncertainty —strong enough to carry my burdens.

And maybe most of all, it’s easy to trust him because I know I’m not the only one who senses that something big is happening here. He feels it too. He said it himself, and so does his every touch, kiss, and heated look.

He wants me as much as I want him.

And maybe that’s why I’m bold enough to say the words, “I don’t want to go hiking.”

“Shh.” He draws back to curve a hand around my cheek, and I lean into his touch as I fall captive to his attentive gaze. “You’ll see me again soon . I promise.”

He says it with a startling sincerity that makes me want to go even less. Usually, I’m not overly outspoken, but this man does things to me no one before has—including throwing my propriety out the window.

“Can’t I come with you?” I blurt, only feeling a twinge of embarrassment at my bluntness.

He moves his thumb back and forth over my cheekbone. “No.”

God, his rejection hurts a little. Biting my lip, I look away, then back at him. “When will I see you again?”

His lips tip up in a gentle smile as his eyes warm with affection. “Before you know it.”

I can’t help my disappointed tone. “Okay.” I’d really like a specific answer. I don’t do well with these kinds of uncertainties. Especially not with something this important.

“I look forward to it.” He leans down to press his lips to my forehead, then takes the plastic bag he brought and retrieves something red and fluffy that he hands to me. “This is for you—to remember me when you feel lonely.”

A huge smile spreads across my face as I take the red fox teddy and look into the cutest golden-rimmed eyes. I take one of the fluffy ears between my fingers and swipe the inside as I remember how he touched the little fox pendant on my bracelet the first night we met.

It had only been five minutes since he slipped onto the bar stool beside me when he reached for the silver fox. “Is this your favorite animal?” he asked, and I clearly recall the flurry of shivers shuddering up my arm as his fingers brushed my skin. The whole world dissipated as he twirled a lock of my hair and said, “ A pretty little Lisichka. ”

He told me it’s the Russian diminutive for fox, and he’s been calling me that ever since.

Licking my lips, I snap out of the memory.

“You remembered?” I say, gazing up at him with wide, vulnerable eyes.

Hands folded behind his back, he watches me like he can read every flicker of emotion in my features. “Of course I did.”

I search his face, thinking I see something hidden in there. Something that goes beyond normal affection—a possessive hunger that shouldn’t be possible after only seven days.

But his face remains impassive, and I have not known him long enough to tell if this is a normal or extraordinary expression for him.

Maybe I’m just hoping.

But when the train rolls in and he leans down to press his lips to mine, the kiss holds the same intensity I thought I saw somewhere deep in the stoic lines of his face. And not just the kiss. His entire body.

Seizing my lower arms, he shoves them onto my back, forcing me into strict compliance as he angles his head to deepen the kiss.

“Mine,” he whispers, his hands tightening with the force of his words.

I pant as I stare up at him, and my feet shuffle on the concrete as my balance wavers.

But I don’t need my balance. I’m trapped in Nikolai’s grip, and he keeps me steady.

So I sag against him, my hips lifting to his as I lean into his grip.

“Your body already knows.” He lifts his chin, his nostrils flaring with primal dominance. “Soon, your mind will too.”

I can’t speak; I can’t think. At this very moment, I truly am his. Mind and body. I want to stay like this forever—trapped by his eyes, his hands, his unrelenting will. Consumed so fully that I forget about myself. But all too soon, he leans down for a final kiss and releases me.

“See you soon, my sweet Lisichka. ”

The world staggers beneath me, and I stare straight ahead with unfocused eyes as he picks up my bag and holds a strap out for me. When I lift my arm, I realize I’m still holding onto the teddy. I shift it from hand to hand as I push my arms through the straps, then hug it tight against my chest as I approach the train with precarious steps.

Grabbing the handrail, I set my foot on the first step and turn to look back.

Nikolai gives me a firm nod that seems to say everything I need to hear—the gentle promise to see me again, the dark anticipation of all the things he’ll do to me, and the possessiveness that thrills me as much as it scares me.

It takes me a while to recover from the heady effect of Nikolai as I settle in the train seat.

I’m slow and confused when the conductor comes to see my ticket, and he gives me a stern look as I fumble through several pockets in my bag before finding the little piece of paper.

“Can I see some ID?” the chubby man with a mustache and thick accent says.

“ID?” I frown at him. Well, that’s a new one. But I fish out my driver’s license anyway and hand it to him.

“ Julie Thomsen?” he says like it’s a question.

“That’s me.”

Without further comment or question, he hands it back to me. And then he’s gone again.

Strange man.

I lean my head back against the seat and turn my attention to the setting sun outside the windows. The city is already thinning out, giving way to large, open fields. Soon, it will be mountains and trees. The peaceful quiet of untouched nature.

It will do me good to get out there. A couple of weeks to clear my mind and let the butterflies settle. Even impatient as I am, I don’t want to rush into anything. This will give me time to see things from a different perspective—look for any red flags my smitten eyes are unable to see.

No need to hurry. Nikolai will still be there when I get back. I open my eyes and look down at the teddy. There’s no doubt that he will.