Tale of the Heart Queen (Artefacts of Ouranos #4)

Chapter 36

C HAPTER 36

LOR

A PHELION —P RESENT D AY

T he next morning, I’m having breakfast with Nadir, Willow, Mael, and Amya in a Sun Palace suite. Gabriel said we are welcome to stay as long as we need. Hearing that we were back in the city, Nerissa also arrived last night. I sit on the edge of the bed with Nadir while the others find chairs around the room.

I feel a certain way about sitting here in this gilded castle, surrounded by guards, while the citizens of Aphelion battle in the streets, but right now, this can’t be our fight. I can’t lose sight of the fact that the Aurora King is up to something nefarious and that the world around us is crumbling .

My magic is back, which means that I must once again confront the Heart Crown.

Tristan knocks on the door and enters with his pack in his hand. He places it on a table in front of the large fireplace, and we all watch him pull out a bundle of fabric and unwrap it, revealing the Crown.

When we made the trek back to Aphelion, Tristan shared that he had it with him. I nearly broke down in relief at discovering it hadn’t landed in Rion’s hands after all.

“I can’t believe you carried it with you,” I say. “What if something had happened to it?”

“We thought you might need it,” Willow answers.

“It was safer with us than here,” Mael adds.

I nod because they’re probably both right.

“Besides,” Tristan adds as he holds it up. “I think it actually led us to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t explain it exactly, other than I kept having a sixth sense of what direction to go. And then . . . we found you. I think it was trying to get back to you.”

The Crown sparkles in the sunlight filtering through the windows. The red jewel is so deep and vibrant that it’s almost hard to look at.

I feel its presence immediately.

It looks different because it is different. I am different.

“It’s awake,” I whisper.

Nadir lays his hand on my knee. “Lor?”

“I can feel it.”

I press my hand to my chest, thinking of the way it called to me in the Heart Castle with that thrumming vibration in my bones. I felt it the whole way back to Aphelion while it sat in Tristan’s pack traveling next to me, but I asked him not to show it to me yet because I wasn’t ready to face the disappointment if it still refused to acknowledge me.

The feeling has shifted, too. It’s brighter and clearer. Much like my magic, it was muted, but now it glows with the full force of its brilliance.

“It’s definitely awake,” I say again, and Tristan gives me a look that tells me he understands what I’m going through. I think he might be the only person in the world who truly does.

“Then you need to talk to it,” he says, holding it out to me.

I place my cup of tea on the side table and wipe my palms on my thighs before I reach out and accept it with both hands. The moment my fingers touch the cool metal, a surge of lightning twitches under my skin.

This is nothing like my connection with the other Artefacts.

This Crown is a part of who I am.

Nadir wraps an arm around my shoulders.

“Take your time,” he says, but I shake my head.

“I . . . don’t want to. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

He gives me a crooked smile. “Then go for it, Heart Queen.”

I inhale a sharp breath, watching the faces around the room.

“We’ll be here to protect you,” Willow says.

“This is probably going to change everything,” I say.

“Probably,” she agrees.

“But you should be used to that by now,” Mael says, and I snort out a laugh .

Then I place the crown on my head and close my eyes.

This time, there is no pause. There is no delay.

Immediately, I’m sucked into a whirling void, my heart leaping into my throat, and then I land, collapsing into a heap on a surface of pure white stone.

This, too, is different. This is no shapeless void spreading into nothing. I’m in a garden bursting with thousands of red roses, and my chest twists.

I am home.

I take in my surroundings for another few seconds before I push up to stand. The sky is a wash of pure blue dotted with fluffy clouds, the sun a perfect yellow sphere. Roses. Roses bloom in every direction as far as I can see. A white stone path interspersed with benches along the sides stretches before me, and my breath catches when I notice a figure standing in the distance.

“Hello?” I ask as the figure approaches. I see it’s a woman with long black hair wearing a sweeping red gown. Her dark eyes burn with emotion, and my heart wedges in my throat as she draws nearer, tears misting my eyes.

It’s been so many years, and I was a child the last time I saw her, but her face lives in my memories and . . .

It’s my mother.

“Lor,” she says, stopping a few feet away with her hands clasped at her waist. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. My fingers and toes have gone numb, and my cheeks are warm. I don’t know how to react.

She takes a step closer and then spreads her arms as tears slip down my cheeks. Before I know what I’m doing, I trip towards her, collapsing against her as her arms wrap firmly around me.

“Mother,” I whisper, my heart tying into knots. “Mother.”

“Lor,” she answers as she rubs the back of my head, and I sob into her shoulder. Inhaling deeply, I’m transported to a small cottage in the woods and the scent of her sweet buns that I loved to help make. And the unmistakable smell of roses. I always wondered why she smelled like that, but now I understand what it meant.

A thousand memories flood back with such clarity that it makes my head hurt. My mother tucking us in at night. Singing us lullabies even though she couldn’t carry a tune. I remember the sunlight reflecting off her dark hair as she hung the sheets to dry in the backyard. The way she’d laugh when my father would chase us around her, nearly upsetting the basket of clean laundry. I remember her soft touch and her soft voice. I remember how she made me feel safe. And loved. Most importantly, she made me feel loved.

But I also remember her face as our father shoved us into that underground cellar when Rion’s army arrived. I remember the necklace she always wore, the red jewel reflecting in the light as she unhooked it from her neck and pressed it into Willow’s hands, making us promise we’d keep it safe. I remember the sounds of her screams as she was taken from our lives.

“Mother,” I gasp as I sob and sob. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, my baby,” she says, stroking the back of my head. “You have no idea how much.”

“How are you here?” I ask, finally pulling away to study her face. I’m taller than her now, and she looks so much like me and my siblings. I remember the freckles that dusted her cheeks and the light brown slivers in her eyes. That tiny mole on her earlobe.

Suddenly, I remember everything.

“I have much to share with you,” she replies. “When you’re ready.”

I scrub my eyes with the back of my hand.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for anything else,” I say.

She gives me a sad smile. “I can understand that.”

She directs me to a bench, and we settle on it. I have so many questions and don’t know where to start.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you more about who you are,” she starts. “I thought I’d have more time, and you were so young. I didn’t want to frighten you. I thought . . .”

She shakes her head. “I thought I’d have more time.”

“How much do you know?” I ask. “About us now?”

“Only some things,” she answers. “Tell me, what happened after we died?”

I take a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to hear? It’s not . . . pretty.”

She clutches a hand to her heart. “My children’s pain will always be mine, too, Lor. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on your brother. It is the lot of a mother to wear her heart outside of herself from the moment her children are born.”

“Okay,” I say, again laying out my truth.

And this time, it is the truth. I give her everything. Every ugly moment and every secret I know. She accepts it all with stoicism, but I see the pain that passes behind her eyes .

She doesn’t ask me to stop. She doesn’t ask for anything but the cold, unvarnished truth.

When I’m done speaking, I feel like I’ve been talking for hours, my throat hoarse and sweat beading on my forehead. She started crying a while ago, quiet tears running down her face.

“I’m so sorry, Lor. I wish . . .”

I take her hand and squeeze it. “No. Let’s not do that. Let’s not make this anyone’s fault but those who caused all of this. I admit I’ve spent time being angry with you for leaving us all in the dark, but I understand it, too. I love you, and I miss you, and I don’t want to spend whatever time we have here debating who was right or wrong. I know that you did your best.”

The words come out in a rush, and the look she gives me nearly breaks my heart. She touches my cheek in the way only a mother can and smiles.

“I knew you would grow up to be someone remarkable, Lor. I knew your heart was always as big as the sea. Even when you seemed intent on making foolish decisions, you’d always find a way to come back from them.”

I can’t help the tears that continue to fall. They come in coursing, endless waves, channeling every moment that I’ve missed this woman with every piece of my heart. She wraps me in her arms as I cry and cry, giving everything to my mother, who couldn’t be there to comfort me through the years. They wash away a darkened slice of my soul that I thought was broken forever, her love and her touch healing over scabbed wounds scratched deep under the surface.

It is a cleansing. A rebirth. But I already know I won’t be allowed to keep her forever .

As I cry, she cries too, and after a while, we finally pull away again.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, and my mother shakes her head.

“I come on behalf of the first Heart Queen of the Second Age, Amara.”

“You do? Why? Where have you been?”

“She thought it might be better to hear it all from me,” she says. “And I’ve been with your father.”

“Is he here too?” I ask, hope flaring in my chest, but she shakes her head.

“Alas, it could only be us. A former Primary and her future.”

“Oh,” I say, trying not to let that disappoint me too much. My mother is here, and that’s more than I ever dreamed possible.

“Where is he? Where have you been?”

“We were granted passage into the Evanescence upon our deaths,” my mother says. “The Artefacts agreed that while I never ascended, they would still afford us that honor.”

I remember what Cedar and Elswyth said when we were in The Woodlands, realizing this explains why they never found our parents’ bodies. Though Tristan and I fantasized for a brief second that they might be alive, the truth is actually comforting, because they deserved this as their resting place.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because of you, my girl,” she says. “While my destiny as the Heart Queen was never meant to be, it lives on in you.”

“That’s kind of what Coral told me.”

She nods. “The magic lives inside you. ”

“But if I don’t ascend or have a child of my own, then it will be lost forever,” I say, repeating what Coral told me. “Then Heart will die.”

My mother nods. “That is the message Amara sends as well.”

“I can’t bring a child into this. Besides, I don’t think we have that much time.”

“I think you may be right,” my mother says.

“What did you mean that it might be better hearing it from you?”

Her lips press together.

“I’ve been sent not only to offer some clarity about past events but also to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Zerra knows the Empyrium seek a replacement.”

My mother’s gaze slides to me, the expression on her face clear.

“And she knows it’s me,” I say, finally confirming what Nadir and I already suspected.

“She has sought to kill you,” my mother says. “And she will stop at nothing to do so.”

I rub my face. “Yeah, I was kind of getting that from the fireballs falling from the sky.”

My mother smiles. “I’ve missed that dry sarcasm.”

I laugh. “I don’t think you enjoyed it much when I was twelve.”

She laughs too. “Being your mother wasn’t always easy, but I knew that ferocious spirit would do you well in the end.”

“So what do I do about her? ”

“You will need to . . .”

“Kill her before she kills me?” I ask, and my mother nods.

“Can’t the Empyrium just take care of her?”

“It may be some time before they return,” she says. “They do not experience the days and weeks the same way you do on the surface. And by then . . .”

I mimic slicing a knife across my throat.

“So how do I kill her? Please don’t say the arks.”

“The arks,” my mother replies immediately, and I groan.

“Well, the good news is that I kind of stole most of them.”

My mother exhales a surprised laugh and shakes her head. “For some reason, I’m not surprised to hear that.”

My answering smile is rueful.

My mother inhales. “Most?”

“I don’t have the ark of Heart. It’s with the Aurora King.”

My mother winces. “You’ll need it, Lor. And you’ll need each respective ruler to destroy their ark. Only the king or queen, or possibly their Primary, will have the strength to destroy it. If they are unbonded, they may still require the help of their Primary.”

I drop my head into my hands.

“Oh, sure. No big deal. We’ll just invite them all to a tea party and ask really nicely.”

My mother rubs my back, her touch soothing. “I’m sorry that you must be the one to shoulder this burden. None of this was your fault.”

“It’s kind of what I expect at this point.” I push out a breath from my mouth. “What if I just ascended before the Empyrium took me? Could I save Heart? ”

My mother shakes her head, apology in her eyes. “You would still require an heir to pass the magic on to before they took you. You’d simply be delaying the inevitable. Plus, Zerra is an integral part of the ascension process, and it would make you vulnerable to her, giving her a chance to strike.”

I scrub my hands over my face. There are roadblocks in every direction I turn.

“There is one more thing,” my mother says, hesitating.

“Oh gods, what else?”

“It’s not a bad thing. At least, I don’t think it is.”

I arch an eyebrow.

“Queen Amara is rather certain that for you to have the strength to destroy the ark of Heart, you must be bonded, as you do not have a Primary yet.”

“Right,” I nod. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“The magic of Heart has always been the strongest, and as magic is channeled into virulence, it grows stronger to the point that the ark of Heart is nearly indestructible.” She spreads her hands in a helpless gesture. “What I can offer you is the knowledge that you will be vulnerable to Zerra’s sight when you’re near an Artefact unless you’re shielded by a large quantity of virulence to counteract it.”

That explains how Zerra saw us in the village and why she stopped attacking when Nadir and I moved away from Tristan and the Crown. And also why she could see me when I carried only the ark of Alluvion—it wasn’t enough to hide me. I think about the Aurora Keep, made entirely of virulence. Was Herric trying to hide from her?

“Interacting with the surface also weakens her,” my mother adds. “In fact, it’s extremely difficult for her to do so, especially now. So it may be some time before she can act again, which is why you must move swiftly.”

I groan and lean back, staring at the sky, wondering how everything got so royally fucked-up. Then I look at my mother, who watches me carefully.

“What if she succeeds?” I ask.

“Then the land will continue to react, growing worse and worse unless the Empyrium return to choose another. She is becoming too weak.”

“And we have no idea when they’ll be back,” I say, and my mother takes my hand and squeezes it. “Is there any way to avoid becoming Zerra when they do return? I don’t want this. If I manage to destroy the arks, then I want to go home.”

My mother shakes her head, her lips pressing together. “Amara confirms it must be a king, a queen, or a Primary. Only they will have the strength to act as the conduit for the Artefacts. But only you can save Heart, which is why she sent me.”

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I consider that. If it must be a ruler or a Primary, that leaves only a handful of people in Ouranos for the job. And I can’t ask anyone else to shoulder this burden for me. I can’t even tell anyone this. If Tristan or Nadir knew, they might try to take it on themselves to save me, and I could never live with that.

“So the Artefacts want me to somehow do both?” I ask. “Satisfy the Empyrium and save Heart?”

My mother grimaces. “Or find another way.”

“But you can’t tell me what that might be?”

She shakes her head slowly. “I’m sorry. ”

I bark out a wry laugh and then drop my head in my hands before I look up.

“Can’t I just stay here with you forever?”

She gives me a soft smile. “While I would like that very much, I don’t think it’s possible.” She takes my hand. “Besides, your brother and sister need you.”

“I wish they could see you too.”

“So do I,” she says with such sadness that my heart twists.

“Tristan is a Primary,” I say. “Of The Woodlands.”

“So perhaps I’ll see him someday.”

I open my mouth to tell her that I don’t want to leave.

“And your mate,” my mother says. “He needs you too.”

“I need him,” I say. “But I might lose him.”

My mother takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’m so happy you found someone who loves you so much, Lor. You deserve happiness in your life, and you will find a way through this. I believe in you, and I love you. I wish I could do more to help, but no matter how dark it gets before the end, never forget how much you were loved.”

She lays her other hand against my cheek, and I press mine over it, savoring the warmth of her touch. My eyes close as I cry, clinging to her. A moment later, her hand disappears, and when I open them, she’s gone.

I’m back in the Sun Palace with everyone staring at me. I blink, wiping away tears with the back of my hand.

“What happened?” Tristan asks. “Are you okay?”

I exhale a long, shuddering breath.

“I don’t know . . . I saw our mother.”