C HAPTER 72
T he dogs slow to a stop, and I slide off Morana’s back, falling onto the snow to press my forehead to the cool surface. My mind spins, struggling to comprehend the scale of what we just experienced. For several long seconds, I spiral into the tumbling void of my thoughts, trying to arrange the pieces back into place.
When I feel like I can breathe again, I drag myself over to Nadir and throw myself on top of him, thinking of the look on his face when his father tossed me the ark and that last moment before the Aurora King was lost to us forever. I spent so many years plotting his death, imagining the day I’d get my revenge. But now that he’s gone, I don’t feel the relief I expected. I just feel hollow.
“Are you okay?” I ask, framing his face with my hands. Nadir spent even longer than I did seeking retribution against Rion, and I wonder if he also feels this same yawning emptiness.
“He’s gone,” Nadir says as if he’s testing the words for their truth. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
He blinks and meets my gaze.
“It’s okay to feel conflicted right now,” I say. “He was still your father, no matter what happened.”
He shakes his head. “He helped us in the end,” he says, his brow furrowing. “Why did he do that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe . . . he found a sliver of something redeemable in his heart.”
His hands come to my waist, squeezing it.
“He said he was sorry,” Nadir says, his tone edged with disbelief. “Do you think he meant that?”
I consider his question. I doubt Rion was sorry about the things he did to me and my family, but I’m finally okay with that. Not because I forgive him, but because it’s time to let this go. He’s gone, and he can never hurt us again.
Nadir got the apology he deserved, which is more important in the end.
“I think he did,” I say. “Maybe he finally understood everything he missed when he abandoned you and your mother. Maybe even the worst of us can still find redemption when faced with the final seconds of our mortality.”
“It still doesn’t excuse anything he did,” Nadir says, sweeping a piece of my hair back. “Everything he did to you.”
“Of course it doesn’t, but it’s over now.”
He runs a hand down his face and sighs.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“Why couldn’t he have tried to become that person sooner? We could have tried to forgive each other. Maybe none of this would have happened.”
“Often those moments come only when it’s too late. But it did come. Maybe you can take comfort in that.”
He wraps his arms around me and buries his face into the curve of my throat as we cling to one another on the windswept mountaintop.
“Did you see that woman he was talking to?” he asks, and I nod.
“Do you know who she was?”
He shakes his head. “I wondered if she was the woman he was in love with. The one he was trying to make jealous when he met my mother.”
“Maybe she had something to do with it?”
He gives me a bemused look. “Maybe.”
The wind gusts, tossing our hair as it knifes through our ripped clothing. Finally, I roll off him, and we sit up. Scanning our surroundings, I have no idea where we’ve ended up. We didn’t exit the same path we entered. I wonder if the others are still looking for us below. We need to find them.
But first there is something I must do.
I pull the ark out of Nadir’s pocket, holding it up. The stone catches the light, sparkling in the night. There’s so much power and heartache contained in this object, but I have no choice.
“I have to destroy it,” I say, tears filling my eyes. “But I don’t want to leave you.”
He rubs my cheek with his thumb, sweeping away a tear. “I don’t know what to say,” he replies. “I hate this.”
“She’ll try to kill me again. And we can’t ever let Herric get his hands on it. You heard what he said: the weaker she gets, the closer he is to the surface.”
He reaches towards me, and I take his hand, clutching it to my chest as I sob.
We didn’t find another way to stop this. In my heart, I hoped, but a part of me knew I’d end up here.
“Lor.” His voice is so soft that it feels on the edge of cracking apart into a million pieces. “I . . .” He trails off because what is there left to say?
I let go of his hand, and clutching the ark, I stand and walk a few paces away to lay it in the snow. I wonder if Tyr has also completed this task. Soon enough, I’ll find out.
Then I back up. I can barely breathe.
I turn to Nadir and throw my arms around him as I cry harder than I ever have in my life. These last few months have been nothing but ups and downs. Heartbreak and joy. The highest highs and the lowest lows. I lost everything only to find everything , and now . . . I might lose it all for good.
“I love you,” I gasp. “No matter what happens once that thing is gone, I love you. No matter where we end up, never forget that.”
“I know,” he says. “I love you too. In this life and the next one. Wherever you go, I’ll find you. No matter what it takes. This can’t be the end.”
“I’m going to miss you so much.” I’m sobbing so hard that my throat and my chest ache. I feel like my insides are spilling out and spreading across the snow in a crimson puddle of loss.
He doesn’t have to say anything else as we cling to one another. He kisses me deeply, and I kiss him back as we pour every shred of love and heartbreak into our embrace. I can’t believe this is the choice I’m being forced to make.
Finally, I pull away, hiccupping on a sob.
“Hold my hand,” I say, and he nods as our fingers weave together. “Don’t let go.”
I try to stop thinking about it. I have no choice. It’s me or Herric. I’ve bought myself a bit of time, but he’ll be back soon enough.
Magic surges to my fingertips as I open my hand and aim it towards the ark. It absorbs my lightning as I filter in a stream of magic so powerful it becomes a thick red beam.
It glows, and I feel the power that lives inside of it. My magic flows into the ark, more and more of it, and then I start to feel it crumbling. Hairline fissures shining from within spread along its surface.
A figure appears, and I knew Zerra would come. She flickers above the ark, but she’s different now. Covered in cracks that snake over her skin. I swallow hard as she stares at me. But there is no rage left in her eyes, only defeat. I wonder what she’s thinking. Does she also regret the things she did?
We watch one another as her head droops to one side and her shoulders curve. In her gaze I see the understanding that she knows her time is over. Neither of us wanted this.
My magic filters into the ark, and then Zerra starts to crumble into dust—first her head, then her shoulders, then her torso and legs. Slowly, she puffs apart, sparkling silver particles being carried off by the wind. Finally, the ark shatters, pieces of glowing virulence skidding across the snow .
A moment later, the sky fills with white lightning. It glows so brightly that I have to shield my eyes. Nadir clings to me as it flashes, crackling and popping across the horizon.
“She’s dying,” I say as we watch the light turn to every color of the rainbow, cycling through reds and blues and purples and greens and all the colors. I can’t help but mourn the woman Zerra was before her life as a god twisted her into the thing she became.
When the sky returns to normal, darkness settles over us as the wind blows gently, whistling off the distant peaks.
“It’s done,” I whisper. “It’s over.”
The quiet is so loud that my ears ring. I wait, wondering what comes next as I look at Nadir. We both search around us and I’m not exactly sure what I’m waiting for, but I was expecting something to happen.
“What now?” I whisper, and Nadir shakes his head.
Suddenly, the world melts away, and we’re both falling.
A moment later we land on hard marble somewhere with warm light beaming in through high windows. I look up, my breath stalling in my chest.
We’re back in the Evanescence.
The Empyrium stands in the middle of the room, flickering with its many faces, their hands folded in front of them, watching us.
“Welcome back, Lor,” they say. “Thank you.”