Talk About… Rivalry (Rockwood Valley Omegaverse #2)

29. Sidney

Sidney

I watched from the doorway as my mother shoved clothes and belongings into the old, worn suitcase she’d tugged down from the attic. Each item she slammed into the case let out a thud that had me flinching over and over again.

My father didn’t fight or beg, he stood in the hallway watching it much like I did, his face expressionless.

His hands rested in tight fists at his side. It wasn’t the site of an aggressive alpha, but a defeated one.

My heart pounded painfully in my chest, my pulse thundering in my ears making it impossible to hear the words she was throwing at him until I took a few breaths to calm down, just like Mama Whitaker taught me.

“I never wanted this life, you did. This town is too small, these walls too faded, and you’re too fucking cold.” The last word was screamed, her voice high pitched and rasping as it echoed off the walls.

It was like the entire world had gone quiet and she was center stage, giving us the performance of a lifetime.

One I knew I’d never forget.

“Mom, please,” I managed to choke out.

When she looked at me there was no softening gaze of a mother that loved her child, instead her lips curled into a sneer.

“You look just like him, Sidney. I can’t do this.”

With that she slammed the lid closed, securing the buckles on the outside before grabbing it off the bed. She wavered for a second under the weight of it, but no one made a move to help her.

My mother wasn’t a large omega, she was petite, maybe a little too thin.

Even though I was watching this through the eyes of me as a child, my brain recognized so much more than I had back then.

“This is just a dream,” I said out loud.

Yet, every emotion was real. The pain cracking open my chest stole my breath. The hurt at the words she hurled at me, the self-hatred that was embedding into my bones, it all was too much. It settled in me, intent on torturing me for the rest of my life.

There was no goodbye, no fanfare. She simply walked down the stairs and slammed the door behind her.

Then she was gone. The sound of her tires turning on the gravel deafening in the night.

“Go to bed, Sidney.”

I went to open my mouth to argue like I always did in this dream, but stopped cold when the scene shifted. My father was gone and replaced by my pack.

Taylor, Bennett, Leo, and Maverick all stared down at me, their faces mirroring the same hatred mother showed me.

“We found a scent match, Sidney.”

“No,” I breathed out, shaking my head and backing down the hallway, refusing to believe it or let those words sink in.

They promised me that I was theirs. That they wouldn’t leave me.

This couldn’t be happening.

“No,” I repeated again, my voice growing louder as I shouted it over and over again, screaming until it drowned out the ugly words they were saying to me.

I jolted awake in my bed, sweat making my oversized shirt cling to me.

The room was so dark that I had to give myself a second to acclimate before I swung my legs out of bed and stood. My hands searched in the darkness for the glass of water by my bed and I drank it all in one go.

Only, it didn’t settle me. I was too keyed up after a dream like that. It was an old nightmare, one that I’d relived time and time again since the day she left.

Now, it had changed.

I’d finally let someone in.

Not just anyone, but a pack. One that could tear me apart until there was nothing left of my heart.

Nausea churned in my stomach as I snatched my phone from the nightstand and stumbled out of the room and down the stairs.

The house was quiet, everyone else asleep still.

Somehow I managed to fight my way to the front porch, closing the door softly so I didn’t wake them before sinking down into the cushioned chairs.

It was dark out here, peaceful. The sound of crickets usually calmed me.

Not tonight.

My first instinct was to call Avery but I knew damn well what time it was.

Then again, she’d mentioned the babies were keeping her up.

It was worth a shot

Sidney: Are you awake?

If she didn’t answer, everything would still be fine. I’d fight through this on my own.

Right now I really fucking needed my best friend.

My phone rang a second later, Avery’s face filling the screen. When I answered I was relieved to see the light on in the room, piles of baby clothes stacked around her.

“What are you doing?” I questioned as she tossed some of the onesies aside.

She shrugged. “Sleep is a little harder when I’m this uncomfortable, so I’m sorting through their clothes for like the seventeenth time. Honestly, it’s pathetic at this point.”

I chuckled. The normalcy of the conversation and the sound of her voice were bringing me back down from the panic.

She eyed me. “Ready to tell me why you’re awake?” she questioned.

“That dream… I had it again,” I admitted.

Her face dropped and I was so glad that there was never pity in her expression. Like usual, she just looked upset on my behalf.

“The one with your mom leaving?”

“It changed,” I admitted. The words were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t get them out.

I shouldn’t have worried. In true Avery fashion… she already knew.

“Does this have to do with the rumors floating around today? I hear you’ve got yourself a pack. Ready to tell your bestie why you’re keeping secrets?”

My eyes burned with tears, a few of them falling free as I started telling her first about wanting Taylor, which she clearly already knew, then about Leo and Bennett, finishing with the one night stand.

“Shut up,” she gasped. “A one-night stand? That is definitely not like you. I’m so proud!”

Then she froze and I watched understanding dawn in her eyes.

“Wait, why did it bother you that Maverick went on a date, Sidney?” she accused.

There’s a hint of hurt in her voice. She should be angry at this point but she was ready to hear it and I had to tell her. I wanted to.

“I’ve been in love with Maverick for years, Avery. I’ve tried to not let it happen. I know that my scent is gone, but he wants me, too. He promised that he wanted to be my mate.”

She was hanging on to every word as I continued, wrapping up the entire story in my haste to get it all out.

“Honestly, Mama and I were taking bets on when you two would get your heads out of your asses and tell each other that you caught feelings.”

“No, you didn’t,” I gasped, my jaw-dropping. “Am I just the most oblivious omega in the world?”

“Yes, yes, you are.” She laughed, tossing more clothes aside as she focused back on me. “Look, you’ve always been family, Sidney. This isn’t going to be any different. If you make Maverick happy and he makes you happy, then what more can I ask for? Hell, it might do him some good to smile more.”

“You’re not mad really?” I questioned.

“I’m a little hurt that you took this long to tell me,” she admitted. “I know that I was gone for a long time and things were weird with us for a while, but I love you. I just want what’s best for you. Don’t shut me out.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just keep going. Because now I’m just confused. All of this sounds like a good thing, not a bad thing. Why are you freaking out?”

“It would be a good thing if I wasn’t so damned terrified all the time.”

She nodded in understanding. “Because of the scent.”

Then I launched into the whole story of my appointment at the Omega Network Clinic and everything that had happened there, including the fact that I might be coming into my own scent.

“I swear, Avery, I scented one of them for a second and now it’s just this psycho waiting game until it finally hits. My doctor thinks if we solidify the bond, and they’re my mates, it will fix everything. I think it’s too much to risk. They could lose a chance at an actual match if we’re wrong.”

“So, even though they told you they want you, they’ve agreed to go through this heat with you, and even want to bite you because they all want you as their omega, you’re still afraid they’re going to walk away.”

“There will always be a possibility that they bite me and nothing changes. That I’m not theirs. That they’ll be stuck with me… or worse, they’ll want to break the bond.”

She winced. Every omega knew how bad it was if an alpha broke the bond. It was painful on both ends and unless they forged new bonds, there was always that connection under the surface.

For me, I’d be tied in a half bond while they moved on, knowing damn well that I wouldn’t get the chance again.

“Sidney, please tell me you’re not going to sabotage this,” Avery begged. “You deserve to be happy. They’ve told you how they feel and you scented one of them. You know this is right.”

“Scent compatibility and scent matching are two different things. Just because we smell nice to each other doesn’t mean we’re scent matches.”

She let out a breath as if she was trying to find all the patience in the world to deal with my bullshit.

“You know what. My best friend is not this scared. She’s not a coward and she sure as hell doesn’t run from her problems.” Her voice was fierce, like she was willing to fight with me for my own good.

“No, your best friend locks them away and pretends they’re not a thing.”

She snorted before we both let out a laugh. It sounded strained at first before we were both crying from laughing so hard.

“Oh my god, I think I just peed,” she groaned.

That only made us laugh harder, with her occasional gasps for us to stop, but it was too late.

“Give me a second,” she said. Muting the phone call and letting the video rest on the ceiling so that was all I could see for a few minutes.

I regained my composure while she was gone. Honestly, this was exactly what I needed. My best friend helped ground me and wasn’t afraid to call me on my shit.

She was right. They wanted me and were willing to fight for our pack.

Taylor had made it very clear that he was with me. Bennett and Taylor were safe bets since they were mates, too.

Maverick and I had danced around each other for years and I had never known him to tell a lie in his entire life, not even to spare anyone’s feelings. He just wasn’t the type.

That meant I could trust him.

Leo had made it clear at his lounge the other day how he felt about me. He demanded that I tell him that I was his and I wanted that more than anything.

He’d taken me by surprise, shown me how much he wanted to know about me. He cared about me and liked what he saw in me.

Yet, that voice in my head told me this was all an illusion. A fleeting pack that I could never really quite grasp.

Fuck, I really had to get it together.

When Avery’s face popped back on the screen, her eyes narrowed.

“Sidney Vance, don’t you fucking dare,” she growled. “This pack is meant for you and it’s okay to accept them. Don’t run.”

“I’m not going to,” I promised her. The lie was bitter on my tongue but I forced confidence in my voice.

It was the first time that I lied to my best friend. I knew that with the echoes of that dream, the sound of their voices telling me they were leaving, that there was no way I could stay.