Tangled Weeds (The Road to Rocktoberfest 2024)

Twenty-Five

Devon

T he last night had gone as well as the other three, and with every night we played we collected more followers from the previous show. This was the last morning I’d wake up with Johnny snuggled in next to me, and I hated how much I knew I’d miss it.

“What time do you leave?” I asked him. We’d gotten back to the room late last night after doing more than one encore and once we were here all we wanted to do was be together. But last night was different. The thoughts of him leaning over me with his eyes locked on mine while he moved slowly in me made my heart clench. We’d made love. Every night we’d come back to the room we’d had frantic sex and maybe fucked a few more times before morning, but not last night. Last night was filled with lots of kisses, sweet words of affection, and slow and sweet lovemaking, and I wasn’t sure how to react to it this morning.

He nuzzled in closer like he’d done the past few mornings and took a deep breath before he spoke. “We fly out this afternoon, how about you guys?”

“The bus is leaving at noon. That way everyone gets to sleep in, and we can get to Reno and settled into wherever we’re staying. I still need to talk to Vance about you going, but I know he won’t mind. And if we need to get a hotel room, I’ll do that before you get there.”

“When do you want me to there?” Johnny asked. I knew he would be looking for a drummer and they’d be practicing perfecting their new positions in the band.

“Now?” I said and we both laughed. “Let me get there and I’ll call to let you know where we’re staying. We play on Friday at Rocktoberfest, so I’m sure they’ll want to practice before then. There may be a few things scheduled for the week that I don’t know about, but it’s only a few days until then and I know everyone will need a day or two to relax before playing. I’ll know more after tonight.” I hated to sound so vague, but so far Vance hadn’t given us any specific schedule of what we had going on, and I didn’t want to tell Johnny anything until I knew for sure.

“I’ll plan to meet you on Wednesday for sure, if you want me there on Tuesday just let me know,” he said, and I was amazed that this guy, who was so focused on his career, had any interest in spending more time with a loser like me.

“If you get busy, I don’t want you to change any plans. We can always meet up after I get back to Sacramento. We’ll be going to Seattle after Rocktoberfest and then we’ll be in Sacramento after that.”

“I don’t want to wait that long,” he murmured.

“I’m glad,” I finally admitted, and we ended up fucking again, because apparently if we were together naked there was only ever going to be one outcome. When we couldn’t justify staying in bed another second, Johnny went to his barely used room and took a shower while I did the same. We knew if we showered together neither of us would be packed and ready to go in time for when I needed to be on the bus.

A text message came thought and I glanced at my phone just as I’d put the last of my crap into my suitcase.

Johnny: Hey, it’s me. There are a few things I wanted to say that I couldn’t say to your face.

Devon : Are you okay?

Johnny: Everything is great. It’s just—

I watched as the bubbles indicating he was typing started—stopped—and restarted several times and I worried if he was telling me he’d changed his mind about meeting me in Reno, or maybe he had already left and was letting me down easy. A thousand thoughts rushed through my mind and none of them were good.

Johnny: Devon I’m afraid I might have stronger feelings for you than just a friend. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that and being the coward I am, I didn’t want to see the look on your face if you didn’t feel the same way. So here I am laying my heart on the line and hoping you feel the same way I do because I know I’d hate myself if I didn’t tell you how amazing the past few days have been because of you.

Johnny: It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but I wanted to be honest with you and tell you before we leave. I’m not willing to hide how I feel about you.

I swallowed hard as I read and for a split second I considered lying and saying I didn’t get his message. But that was the old me. The one that would shirk every responsibility and never admit any guilt or wrongdoing. “I’m not that person anymore,” I said to myself before answering his text.

Devon: I feel the same way, and I’m so happy you were brave enough to say it. I kept trying to ignore the feelings you bring out in me, but I don’t want to ignore it anymore. I definitely don’t just like you.

I knew it was just on the verge of saying more, but I was twenty-three and had never said those words that were on the tip of my tongue to anyone other than my family, and I didn’t want to say it to anyone if I didn’t actually feel it. But feeling it with Johnny was so fucking easy.

Johnny: I really can’t wait to see you again.

Devon: I’m not gone yet. Ready to go downstairs? ??

The more time we spent together the more I noticed we were both very good at changing the subject when we didn’t really want to speak about it more. And between us there were a few things neither of us wanted to speak too much about, and one of the biggest things was feelings. A knock at the door startled me and after one last look around, I joined him in the hallway as we walked together to the elevator for the last time.