Tangled with the Tight End (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 20

twenty

NORAH

Two Days Later

I wave at Maddie and shut the kitchen door. Moments later, she navigates the van out of the driveway and disappears down the street. She’s taking the order up to the lodge for me. Again.

You’re a coward.

Fine. I am. I knew I was in trouble the second Gabriel walked in the door holding Gino. His strong arms cradled his son against his chest, and my heart dove to my feet. It didn’t help when Gino noticed me by the tree and smiled. The smile was weak due to his hurting, but it was there none the less.

In that instant, I saw a future with Gabriel and his son. A future where we were together as a couple. Gabriel would give me a cocky grin when he came home, and Gino would jump down from his father’s arms and rush to me. But that future isn’t a possibility.

We want different things and continuing to pretend spending a few days together won’t have an impact on me is something I can no longer lie to myself about.

My cell phone rings. Is it him? My shoulders tighten while my heart thuds in my chest. How can I dread something and be thrilled at the same time? Gabriel was disappointed when I called for an Uber soon after they returned and yesterday, I’d pled a headache to put some distance between us.

I drag my phone out of my back pocket and frown. Eden. I groan and shake my head. When have I ever been disappointed that my best friend was calling? Never.

“Hello?”

“Hey, girl.” Her voice is upbeat as I walk through the kitchen, pointing to a tray of muffins that need to be placed into the oven.

“One second.” I cover the receiver. “I’ll be in my office for a few minutes. Do you mind putting the muffins into the oven?”

“No worries, Boss.” Brooklyn nods as she retrieves the tray and opens the large oven.

It’s hard to believe that all the staff my parents employed stayed on when I took over. And they’re still here. And thanks to the modifications I made to the menu and the expansion at the lodge, I’ve hired an additional five staff to the payroll with Brooklyn being the newest recruit.

Brooklyn graduated from high school last year and is taking a break before figuring her life out. Hell, I don’t have my life figured out either.

“Thank you.” I squeeze her shoulder and maneuver to the office door. My office holds a large wooden desk with a computer on top, a couple of bookcases, and a four-drawer filing cabinet with a plant and a chef figurine nestled beside it. I’ve not had time to decorate the space and make it my own. Maybe I should. It could use some more flare, and I love the little figurine. “Thanks for waiting. I was out in the kitchen.”

“No worries. So, tell me about you and Gabriel.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Heat floods my face. “Okay, that’s not true. When he came over Thanksgiving night to apologize, things got a little heated. A lot heated,” I sigh. “It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Then, he picked me up Friday and took me to the lodge. We had dinner. A private dinner that was nice. But not long after that, Gino got sick, and I came home.” I fall into the chair in a complete non-boss-like motion and sag into the cushions. Life was so much easier when we were kids talking about the boy who sat next to us in class.

“When are you seeing him again?” Angelo jabbers in the background, and my heart pangs again. I’ve never had this strong of a reaction to children before, but once I met Gabriel, my libido and biological clock kicked into overdrive. It’s like my body is chanting–‘marriage and children’, ‘marriage and children’.

Stop. Your body is not in charge. You can make sound decisions and.… I pinch the bridge of my nose. I must make sound decisions before I fall for a man who’s leaving me behind in a few days. Just the thought has a veil of depression lurking around the edges.

“I’m not.” I straighten in the chair, causing it to squeak, and inhale in the faint scent of leather and frosting. Someone should bottle that combination. They’d make a killing.

“What do you mean, you aren’t?”

“I’m not. I told him that I’d see him in a few days, but I’ve decided not to see him again. It’s not a good idea.” This is the right decision, isn’t it? “Being around him makes me want things that are impossible and….” I clear my throat after swallowing over the lump in it. “And that’s not a good idea.”

“You’re right,” she sighs.

My stomach cramps. She agreed? Shit. A large part of me had hoped she’d beg me to see him again because he’s in love with me, and we’d be perfect together. But no, she only confirmed what I already knew. He’s a football player and one-night stands happen for them all the time. Sex with no strings. And apparently, I’m a strings kind of girl.

“It was too good to be true for Marco and me to wish you’d see each other and fall in love. Life doesn’t work that way.” She chuckles halfheartedly. “Despite what we want.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that.”

“Before I get off here, Marco wanted to know if it was okay if he stopped by tomorrow and grilled you about running a business. Gabriel may think he’s joking, but my husband is serious about opening a restaurant. He may not have the business background that Gabriel has, but he’s a quick learner and determined.”

“Absolutely.” I smile and rise from the chair. Wallowing time is over. “Tell him to come by anytime. I’ll be here all day.”

“What time do you go up to the lodge? Hey, shouldn’t you be on the way by now?”

I trudge to the door. “Yes, but I’m putting distance between us. I know it’s ridiculous to avoid him because he’s not obsessed with me. I probably wouldn’t even see him, but being that close, I would’ve been thinking about him.” Like you aren’t thinking about him now, and every second since you left his suite Friday night.

“Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

I twist the knob. “Do you honestly think that’s likely to happen?”

“No.” Her voice is devoid of positivity and fills me with dread. “I guess not.”

For the next hour, I ignore my thoughts and focus on baking. Baking has always filled a void inside of me. The void that was seeking validation from other people. Being an only child sucked. There was no one to go with to school events. There was no one to argue with about who got favored treatment from Mom and Dad. There was no one else to blame when I ate the last of the chocolate chip cookies or returned the empty carton of milk to the refrigerator.

I’ve always yearned to fit in and never felt like I belonged. Thank God for Eden. She sought me out on the first day of kindergarten, and we’ve been inseparable since. Well, until she met Marco, and he became her person.

Is that what’s wrong? I’m desperate for someone to put me first? Someone to replace my best friend?

Lord, I roll my eyes and pop open the oven, pulling out a tray of perfectly golden-crowned muffins. I’m not that pathetic. I refuse to be.

When my phone rings, I ignore it until it rings through a full cycle and begins to ring again. The butterflies in my belly flutter when I glance at the screen. This time, it is Gabriel.

“Hello?”

“Are you feeling better?” His deep baritone voice causes the hairs on my arms to rise to attention. “I hope you didn’t get anything from Gino. I’ve been worried all night that you caught something from him, and it wasn’t teething.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” I lean my hip against the island.

“I’m glad.” His voice goes even lower and my core instantly heats. What power does this man hold over me? I’ve never been this impacted by someone. Not even my other holiday fling.

Holiday fling. The mere thought of those words has the butterflies scattering into hiding.

“How’s Gino?” I cross one arm over my chest and prop the elbow of my other arm on it. “And your parents?”

“Gino is fantastic. He bounced right back, and my parents headed off on their cruise with no signs of sickness.”

“That’s good.” I should’ve never lied to him. “And you?”

“Physically, I’m fine, but emotionally, not so good.”

“Is something wrong? Are you worried about your physical tomorrow?” I don’t want him to leave, but that’s selfish. This is his career, his future, and I’d be an idiot to wish he was hurt more than he’d let on.

“No, like I said, physically, I’m fine. I anticipate a return-to-work date. What’s wrong is that I miss you. I came down earlier, but you weren’t making the delivery to the lodge. I’m fairly sure the woman thought I was a stalker.”

“You came down to see me?” I shove off the counter and pace the floor.

Is it wrong to avoid him? What if he falls just as hard for me as I do him, and we live happily ever after? What if you fall head over heels in love with him, and he never looks back?

“Yes. I know you said you wanted distance, but I want to see you tonight before I go. We don’t have much time to be together, and I feel like the clock is ticking.”

I swallow hard over the lump in my throat. We have an expiration date, and that’s not changing at all for him. Sadness weighs heavy on my shoulders, dragging me down like a wet blanket has been thrown over me.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel, I should’ve never agreed to see you while you were here. It was unfair to both of us. I think it is better if we don’t see each other again.”

“That’s….” he pauses as if he’s holding his tongue, and says, “Fine. If that’s what you want.” His voice is filled with granite, and the phone clicks in my ear.

Fuck. Tears sting my eyes as I march to my office and shut the door. It’s what had to be done, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I lean with my back against the wall. Someday, I’ll find a man who makes me feel like Gabriel did but who doesn’t consider me a hook-up on his way to finding the woman he falls in love with.

I shove off of the wall. If he ever falls in love. Maybe he’s too set in his ways for that. Maybe he’s still hung up on his ex. Maybe he didn’t want to say she broke his heart by cheating. I swipe a tear off my cheek with the back of my hand.

Maybe when they see each other for the divorce, they’ll realize they both made mistakes and stay together. Or decide that Gino is more important than their wants and needs. Somehow, none of that makes me feel any better.