Taste of Commitment (Whisky and Risky #2)

19. Taylor

Taylor

I pull my fourth spade card from the deck, discard a Queen of Hearts, and look around the common room. Ryder, Liv, Mr. and Mrs. Browning, Christina—the mom from Italy, and one of her sons are all huddled around the coffee table as we play a game of twenty-five.

“Aw, yes! That's what I needed. Thank you, Tay.” Ryder snatches the card from the pile at the center of the table blowing a kiss in my direction. Liv rolls her eyes, getting defeated but I laugh him off.

“Come on now, Ryder. Give me what I need,” Christina’s thick Italian accent calls out.

Ryder looks over his cards methodically before laying down a two of clubs, and Christina swipes it with a smile. Everyone oohs and ahhs, wondering what it means for the game. The chatter in the room continues but my head goes silent when Knox enters through the front door. His dark eyes find mine, and we stay locked in with each other. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had been waiting for him all throughout dinner again tonight, especially since I thought it best to try and put some distance between us. After he surprised me with that horse ride, I surprised myself by feeling something other than physical attraction. I thought we could benefit from a little time apart. But one night in a hot tub later and that obviously didn’t happen. I find myself now more confused than ever.

Knox dips his head in hello before moving to sit in the chair behind me. The heat from his legs engulfs my entire body from behind until he spreads them so they rest on either side of me.

“Your move, Isla,” Ryder taunts his mom. She sits on the couch across from me, bundled in a black long-sleeve shirt and black pants with—what I’m assuming is a homemade—knitted cardigan over top. She studies her cards with an intensity that seems so unlike her but I find myself smiling anyway. There's a dense weight in my chest and my neck heats as I battle the overwhelming feeling of family in this room and my interest in the man behind me. The more time I spend with these people, the more I enjoy them. And worse than that, worse than anything, I find myself hoping they feel the same about me. It’s starting to feel like too much.

I go still when Knox’s hands rest on my shoulders. “What do you got, love?”

“I uh—” I clear my throat, looking around as Knox’s hands slide up and down my shoulders. Everyone is either too focused on their cards or focused on trying to read—or ridicule—the other players. Either way, no one notices the way my body erupts in flames under his touch and whispered words. I pick up a card from the deck pulling up my fifth spade. “Twenty-five,” I whisper as I lay my hand down.

“Son of a—” Ryder slams his fist down on the table.

“No, I was so close!” Christina whines.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Alan smirks and Knox’s grip on my shoulder tightens. “You sure this was your first time, darling?” he asks, pointing a finger at me.

“Beginners luck?” I shrug with my hands up.

Isla goes to get another bottle of wine while everyone continues laughing and enjoying themselves.

“Taylor just won her first game of twenty-five. You should get her some of the poitín, Ma!” Ryder calls out.

I drop my head back on my shoulders looking back at Knox. “What’s that?”

“It’s a bad headache in the morning.”

I grimace. “Well, thank you for the offer but I think I’m going to retire on a high and head on up.”

I can feel the heads turn in my direction but I ignore them as I make my way to the stairs. As soon as my feet reach the second step, Knox’s hand catches my elbow.

“Taylor—” I pause on the step, turning slowly to face him. “Everything alright?”

I have unfamiliar feelings for you and I more than enjoy your family. Even worse, I want you and them to reciprocate those feelings. ‘Okay’ somehow doesn’t feel like the correct word for how I feel but I offer him a tight smile and nod my head.

“Big day tomorrow, I’m just ready to get some sleep.”

He studies my face, and I don’t dare try to swallow under his scrutiny. Finally, he dips his chin and leans in, placing a gentle kiss on my temple. My eyes flutter closed and my heartbeat matches. It’s a fairly modest gesture, especially compared to where we ended up the other night, but something about it has my stomach flipping and my mind wandering.

“Good night, Nova.”

I stand, frozen, watching his oversized figure until he rounds the corner back to the living room and I exhale the breath I had been holding in and head up to my little corner room.

I drop my head back as I lean against my bedroom door, taking a moment. I’m startled by the vibration from my back pocket against the wooden door. I pull my phone out and smile at the picture on the screen.

“Jo-Bro,” I answer by way of greeting.

“Annie Oakley baby, what’s good?” I smile at the nickname and the familiarity and comfort that comes from hearing his voice. When I found a friend in Jonas no one believed we could keep things platonic. I don’t blame them, he’s handsome as hell, but I wasn’t looking for anything and neither was he. “You there?”

“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “Yeah, I’m here. How are you?”

“Good. Except I have to go to another fundraiser this weekend and I don’t have a date. Any chance you want to come home early?”

“Since when have you ever brought a date to one of those things? You always say ‘Go in alone, have your pick who to bone.’ ”

“Maybe I’m maturing.” I laugh, pushing myself off the door frame and flopping down on my unmade bed. “Okay, that’s a lie, I’m probably not. I’m just bored of cruising for chicks by myself these days.”

“Cruising for chicks? What are you, eighty?”

“Enough about me. How’s Ireland?”

“It’s—”

“Hot?” he interrupts me.

“No… it’s actually pretty chilly most of the time.”

“Sweltering?”

“Dude, are you okay?” I ask, confused.

“Scorching, fiery, ripped?” I close my eyes as understanding dawns on me.

“She told you?!” I yell into the phone before getting up and putting it on speaker.

Jonas’s answering laugh has me rolling my eyes. “Technically, no, she was talking to Miles about it in his office and I overheard.”

“Unbelievable.”

“So, tell me about him.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“There’s always something to tell with you.” I can hear the smile in his voice as I move to the bathroom. “Is he hot?”

Hot sounds like an insult compared to what he is.

“No. He’s a short old man.”

“Liar.” Thank god we’re not on FaceTime with the way my lips are betraying me right now. “Why are you being so defensive if it’s supposedly nothing?”

“I’m not defensive Jonas, there just really isn’t anything to say. I'm here for two more weeks, it’s not like a relationship could even go anywhere.” Silence greets me on the other line and I pull the phone back, making sure we didn’t get disconnected. “Hello?”

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

“You like him.”

“What?” I rip the shower curtain back roughly.

“I never said anything about a relationship, Blondie.” I scold my phone as if he can see because I hate that I let that word slip from my mouth.

“I didn’t mean relationship relationship. I just meant—relationship. You know.” I wave a hand around me before turning the water on.

“So, you friend-zoned him like you did me?”

“You and I friend-zoned each other,” I retort .

“Keep telling yourself that, babe.” I ignore him, dropping a shower bomb that I picked up at the market to the far corner of the tub. “Hey, can you take a picture of him? I want to see what this guy has that I don’t.”

“You're so annoying.” I shake my head. “I have to go, my shower is ready.”

“Okay, but wait, did you know that it’s okay if you… stay with me here because this is kind of crazy, but it is okay if you like the guy.”

Like him. Like the way he doesn’t laugh when I make up excuses and instead studies my face, searching for the truth. Like the way I said I wanted to ride a horse so he got me one. Like the way my mask unconsciously slips around him. Like the way he’s constantly finding a way to spend time with me. And like the way that he’s the first person I’ve ever shared hidden parts of myself with.

I stand against the vanity, arms crossed with my leg bouncing beneath me. “What if…” I trail off, chewing my bottom lip.

“Blondie?” His voice is soft and I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the tears back in.

“What if I like him too much?” I hear my own voice crack and I turn around, my reflection in the mirror blurring behind a wall of unshed tears.

“Then isn’t he the luckiest son of a bitch?” I laugh and the movement breaks the damn of tears, but I bat them away before they can slide halfway down my face. “Give it a try, babe. Be brave.”

Be brave. “Easy for you to say. What if it doesn’t work out? What if some magical turn of the universe happens and I actually have real feelings for him? What if it all goes to shit?” I drop my head back on my shoulders, shocked that I spoke that fear out loud .

“Listen, I can’t tell you if it will or won’t work out. But what I can tell you, is if you think you’ve found someone worthy of dropping that iron armor for, I think it’s worth the risk.”

I blame the steam-filled room for having a difficult time getting air into my lungs. I squeeze my eyes shut once more before settling my breath and wiping away the last of my tears. “You know what, I’m probably jumping the gun here anyway. He knows I’m leaving. He's likely not even thinking past tomorrow anyway.”

“Taylor Grace Nova, I can promise you, he’s thinking about it.”