Teach Me How To Fly

21. Annalise

21

ANNALISE

T he road to the sanatorium was the longest I’ve ever been on, and I didn’t know if it felt like that because it really was long, or because I was anxious and nervous about seeing Sylvian for the first time in my life since Lukyan kept me away from that house.

How was I going to react? Was I going to faint like I had when I first stepped in Lydia’s house?

No.

I had to be strong enough to show him that nothing he had done to me made me a weak person. I had to show him that I grew up into a real woman who would have dealt with anything life had for her. And that’s what I was going to do.

The moment we stepped out of the car and the fresh air hit me, I raised my glance up to the enormous building that was towering in front of us.

The old gothic architecture of the building made me feel as if I was trapped in an apocalyptic movie. The tall firs that surrounded it offered a fresh air though which I found a little bit comforting.

Maksen grabbed my hand as I started walking towards the entrance, and the moment we reached the door, we were welcomed by two tall men with faces that looked like they were ready to destroy anyone who stood in their way.

“Name of the visitor and the name of the patient.”

“Annalise Makenova, and the name of the patient is Sylvian Makenova.”

Now that I said his name out loud, I realized it was real. I was going to see the man who destroyed my life, but also the man who made me stronger than I’ve ever been.

“Good,” the other man said, then pinned Maksen with his scrutinizing eyes. “I guess you’re not Annalise Makenova, so I would gladly invite you to wait for her outside.”

Maksen gripped my hand in his, then with a slight movement, he pulled his sleeve up, turned his hand and revealed a tattoo I hadn’t seen on his body until now. Maybe it was there all this time, but I was too shy to look at him whenever he was shirtless.

A black circle caught up in flames, with an M in the middle and the year 1790 under it. Whatever that meant made both of the men step aside and let us enter with our bodyguards too.

I narrowed my eyes, but Maksen took me by my hand and gave me a comforting smile.

“I’ll explain it later,” he whispered.

I nodded, giving him a soft smile.

I supposed the tattoo meant that he was a mafia member, and maybe that he was one of the most fearful assassins out there in the world. But I guessed I just had to wait for his explanation to confirm my thoughts.

We made our way to the reception, where I was welcomed by a nice redhead nurse who seemed to be no more than a few years older than me. She gave me a smile as she stood up from her chair, then she took the agenda from the desk and opened it.

“You must be Annalise Makenova, Sylvian’s niece, right?” she asked as she scrutinized me.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I would like to see your identity card, then I’ll walk you to the room where you’ll have your visit.”

I opened my purse, took out my wallet, and pulled the identity card out of it. I gave it to her, and after she made all the searches she needed, she gave it back to me and I smiled gently.

“Come with me,” she said and pinned Maksen with her eyes as if she was waiting just for me to follow her.

“I would like to supervise the visit. If you know Sylvian, then you must know his past and what he had done, so make sure this is possible,” Maksen explained as he eyed her.

The moment she heard his words, she looked at me, then at him, and nodded, not saying any other word. I knew all the people here knew more about Sylvian than I did, but no one here knew that he molested his little niece when she was just five years old.

Or did they?

We followed the nurse along the hallway illuminated by rectangular led bands that were disposed on the entire length of the ceiling.

The smell here was fresh, with a slight hint of disinfectant solution, which made me realize that I was actually in a hospital for mentally ill people – well, welcome to reality, Annalise, because that’s the definition of a sanatorium.

She stopped in front of a huge metallic door, then looked at us and opened it, making a sign with her hand that we should follow her.

I stepped towards and Maksen followed me. When we entered the room, I saw the big window wall that was separating the room we were in from the room on the other side. And the moment I let my eyes fall on what was on the other side, I felt my heart freezing and my blood turning cold.

He was there.

Waiting for me, with his hands locked with handcuffs and his body tied to the chair.

“Are you okay?” Maksen quickly asked as he put his hands around me.

“Yes,” I mumbled, and I knew damn well that he knew I wasn’t okay at all.

Having him somewhere so close to me wasn’t making me feel exactly how I expected it to. It was more than I could ever imagine, but I had to embrace every feeling that was longing in me now and do what I wanted to do.

“Are you ready to go in there?”

“Yes. I am. Can anyone hear what I’ll be saying to him?”

The nurse turned to me and tilted her head in disappointment.

“No one can do that, but you and him. If he tries to do something or if you want to end the visit earlier, you’ll raise your right hand and someone will come to take you out. Don’t worry, you’ll be monitored all the time, there’s nothing he could do to you.”

I smiled at her and turned to Maksen, whose face was already drowned in feelings of anguish, anger, and worry. As I put my hands on his face, I offered him a comforting smile that only made him furrow his brows more.

“I’m not okay with this, Anna.”

“I know, but little me needs to do this. You’ll watch it the entire time, so it's just as if you’re there with me.”

He pinned me with his eyes, and the next moment, the only thing I could feel was his lips pressed on mine in a slow, steady kiss. I felt it as if he was trying to convince me not to go in there, but he knew very well that I wasn’t going to do that.

Instead, I took a deep breath in and turned to the nurse who was already waiting for me. She took out some keys from her pocket, then moved her feet to the metallic door and opened it, giving me enough space to walk into the room.

I glanced at Maksen for the last time before I entered the room, and I saw how he pulled a sharp knife out of his pocket. I gulped because I wasn’t sure how he managed to bring a lethal weapon in this building, but considering the way those men from the entrance looked at him once they saw his tattoo, I guessed it wasn’t so hard to believe.

Even though I noticed a flinch of fear creeping into his eyes, I felt safe. I knew he would’ve done anything to protect me, no matter what stood in his way. But it was the first time in my life when I saw fear on his face, and I didn’t like the feeling of it.

My legs were trembling and my heart seemed to stop beating as soon as I stepped over the threshold. Once the nurse closed the door behind me, I knew there was nothing else I could do but to look at the man in front of me and face him.

The memories of my childhood flew over me, and Sylvian’s face became more and more connected to everything I remembered. He was older now, with his gray hair carefully put into place, his black and white beard growing on his cheeks, and his eyes darker than I remembered them.

“Hello, Sylvian,” I said as I got closer to him.

With every step I took, I felt my knees turning into marmalade, ready to let me fall on the ground at each moment. But as soon as I reached the chair on the other side of the table that was separating me and Sylvian, I sat on it and felt much better that I didn’t have to support my body anymore.

“I had several dreams of seeing you again, Annalisa.”

Annalisa.

Fuck. No.

Every hair on my body reacted when I heard what he called me. He always used to call me Annalisa, and he was the only one who did it.

He deserved to die in hell — no, death was too simple a punishment. He needed to rot somewhere dark, where everything he did to me would be done to him.

“Don’t stay so quiet, my darling. Tell me why you came here. Does your itty-bitty father know you’re here?” he snarled with a gravelly tone of voice that made me quiver as I tried to look him in the eyes. His once powerful voice now was a mere whisper, barely audible even in this empty room we were in.

I was sitting in front of the man who destroyed me, who once held power over a child who did nothing wrong to anyone. But his appearance gave me comfort because I knew he was broken too now.

There was an air of neglect around him considering how long and messy his black beard was. He still had those piercing eyes that scared me when I was little, but now they were sunken and lifeless, framed by dark purple circles.

Yet, he still terrified me.

“No,” I said as I moved a bit on the chair, starting to play with my fingers in my lap out of nervousness. “He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t need to.”

“Oh, I see that you’ve become a strong woman then,” he quickly replied, clearly mocking me, judging by his expression.

He seemed to think that I was the same stupid, silly girl he used to do as he pleased with.

“I guess it’s been hard to be locked in for so much time, right?”

How did he know about this?

I didn’t mention a thing about being kept in the house all these years, nor did I tell him that my father kept me away from living my life. Did someone keep him updated on what I was doing?

“I haven’t been locked anywhere,” I briefly lied, trying to believe myself so he wouldn’t notice it. “You must be affected by the pills you’re taking here.”

He smiled, and my body trembled with fear as if I waited for him to tell me to count to six.

Fuck. No. Control yourself, Annalise.

“I don’t need pills to know the truth, Annalisa. Remember, I’ve been on this earth for much longer than you, so I know better.”

He was intimidating, but I didn’t want to show him that he was successfully manipulating me and turning me into that vulnerable girl he was taking advantage of. I had to show him that nothing he had done to me made me what he wanted me to become. He was just gaslighting me and playing the “I’m older, I know better, and you should respect me” card, and I wasn’t buying any of it.

Now, I was the woman no one could ever destroy again.

“I’m not here for your predicaments, Sylvian,” I quickly said, putting my elbows on the edge of the table. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and you have to give me the correct answers.”

His smile disappeared, and I was convinced that if it wasn’t for him being tied up on the chair, he would’ve put his hands on the table to get closer to me. I saw the little movement of his feet when he heard what I said, but he couldn’t do more than that considering how well he was tied there.

“And why would I do that?”

“I’ll offer you something in exchange for your answers.”

He kept the silence a few more moments, and then he let his lips curve up into a smile.

“You are too old now to give me what I’d want from you,” he said, licking his lips as he looked at me up and down.

I knew he was portraying me small in his mind now, and that made my stomach twist with a strong need of wanting to puke. I wanted to burst out in painful cries, to shout in his face everything I couldn’t when I was little, yet I managed to refrain myself and be content with just gulping the lump that got stuck in my throat.

This was the moment I was either going to convince him or make him not want to cooperate with me.

“Think about anything you want and I’ll give it to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at me and licked his lips, then he let out of his mouth a penetrating laugh that made me uncomfortable.

I was scared of what he was going to tell me, but I had to accept it. I needed answers, and if I was sure about a thing, it was that a bad person always told the harsh, painful truth to you just to hurt you even more.

“Freedom. I want freedom,” he said with his honeyed tone of voice.

I saw that answer coming from him.

I looked him in the eyes as I was analyzing the entire situation, and I knew how hard it was going to be for me to get him out of the sanatorium. Little Annalise freaked out at the thought of that, but the woman I was now didn’t.

I was scared that if he got out of the sanatorium, he would’ve done to other children the same things he did to me and that wasn’t an option. He wasn’t going to get out of here, but he didn’t have to know that.

He was going to rot here.

“Deal,” I lied freely, confident in my words to make him believe me.

“What guarantee do I have that you’ll get me out of here?”

That was what I wanted him to ask me because that was the beginning of my well put stage play.

“I have nothing left in my life. I have no one I could call family, everyone around me lied to me, and I sincerely don’t care if I step out of this room and die. I just want to know the truth, that’s all I have left, and for that, I’ll give you your freedom.”

He raised his eyebrows as if he had been defeated by me, and then he smiled and glanced at me attentively. He bought it, I thought and my lips would’ve curled now if it weren’t for me trying to hide that thought.

“Shoot your questions then, little niece. I have a lot to talk to you about.”

I felt shivers going through my whole body upon hearing his words, and I knew very well that coming here would be the biggest challenge of my life.

My body was still trembling as I tried to speak normally, without revealing how terrified I truly was.

“Tell me how I ended up in this family. Where are my parents, why was I adopted, tell me everything you know about that.”

“Firstly, all we know about your parents was that they were addicts, living on the streets, and you were taken by a nurse when you were born,” he explained, not breaking eye contact for a second. “Kira, your mother, couldn’t get pregnant, so she and Lukyan decided to adopt a child, and they saw you. That’s your story.”

“And Katya?”

“Kira and Lukyan tried to have another baby after adopting you because they still wanted a child of their own, and that’s how Katya came. But too badly Kira died giving birth to her because she had lots of complications.”

All the times my father – Lukyan, I corrected myself – told me that I was a copy of my mother, he was lying to me because the only one who could’ve been that was Katya.

She was their real daughter, not me. I felt bad hearing that Kira died while giving birth to Katya, and somehow, I felt bad that I even got to meet Kira myself even though I was only one year old. The only one who should’ve met her was Katya, and the only one who should’ve had all this protection from Lukyan was Katya, his biological daughter. Nothing made any sense in my head right now.

“Good. Next question.”

“Let me guess, it will be connected to Maksen, right?”

He was diabolical, but also very intelligent, and this did not surprise me at all. Evil people possessed extraordinary charisma, intuition, and intelligence, and he had all of these. Maybe he knew exactly what I was going to ask him, but he was just waiting for me to speak my mind.

“Yes. What have you done to him?”

“Things. Many things I guess you wouldn’t want to hear,” he bursted, letting out a broken laugh.

I could feel my body giving in soon, but this time, it was seized by an uncontrollable rage hearing that Maksen could have gone through the same things as me. I felt the urge to punch Sylvian in the face. I felt as if that was the right thing to do so I could protect Maksen in a way or another.

“Did you make him count as well?”

My question made him smile, and that didn’t surprise me either, because he seemed like he enjoyed talking about the horrors he did.

“You should ask him what he had been doing while he was locked in the basement because I wouldn’t know,” he replied briefly. “I was too preoccupied with teaching you to count.”

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists upon hearing his words. He was truly proud of what he had done to a child, and he wasn’t even going to pretend not to be for fuck’s sake.

He wasn’t going to get out of here, and I had to think of something to avoid doing it because I couldn’t have lived my life the same knowing he was free.

“So you didn’t do anything else to him? I told you that I want the truth.”

“I wouldn’t have ever put a finger of mine on a servant’s child,” he replied, almost disgusted at the thought.

I froze. I completely froze.

“Servant’s child?”

He laughed, licking his lips in a way that almost made me puke. “Oh, you have no idea who he is, do you?”

“Who is he?”

“Maksen is Olivia’s son, my darling. She had an affair with your father’s biggest enemy when they hosted a party at your house back in the day, and that’s how your dearest friend came to Earth.”

I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything.

I was stuck, trying to realize the weight of the words he told me, and somehow, I wanted to get up from the chair, leave, and hide in Maksen’s arms until everything returned to normal.

I wanted everything to be a dream. A bad dream that I would wake up from soon, but I knew it couldn’t be possible because it was my new reality.

Maksen was Olivia’s son, the woman who took care of us when we were children. Why didn’t she raise him? What was actually happening?

“This was just a little detail for you to add to the entire story of your real life. The new real life that everyone has hidden from you.”

I pinned him with my eyes, trying so hard to find anything in his gaze, but there was nothing. It was a void, where madness was dancing with his demons and not with the answers I needed to find. I wanted to know what was going on in his mind, to understand what made him be like this.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

I wanted to be done with this. I couldn’t take it anymore. I fucking couldn’t. It was too much for me.

“Why did you do it?”

A strange light crept onto his face as if he truly realized what I was referring to.

“To get revenge on your father. You were his first child, even if you weren’t his by blood,” he answered, pinning me with his eyes in a way he hadn’t before. “I destroyed you because I knew that was how I was going to end him too.”

“Goodbye, Sylvian.”

I stood up from the chair and tried to keep in the tears that were getting ready to roll down my cheeks. I looked him in the eyes, and I hugged little Annalise inside of my mind, telling her that this man wasn’t going to do us any harm anymore.

She was safe now because I knew the truth, and with the truth on my side, I wouldn’t ever lose.

“Leaving so soon?” he said as I turned my back on him to leave the room.

“Yes. I got all the answers I needed.”

“I haven’t,” he replied, pinning me with his eyes and offering me a mischievous grin.

I looked at him, trying to understand what he meant by what he said, but as soon as he smiled at me, I knew something was coming.

“You promised me something, Annalisa,”

I smirked hearing his words. Now was my time to make him suffer. “How could you put your trust in me and think for a second that I would get you out of here?”

This time, his lips curved into a grin that sent shivers down my spine. He scared me to the bone.

“Because I know that your fear of me is greater than your ability to deceive me. If you fail to fulfill your promise, I’ll have another reason to escape this place, only to haunt you down, and when I return, Annalisa, you’ll need to learn how to count beyond six.”

I gulped, and the only thing I knew at that moment was how fast I turned on my heel and raised my right hand to have the door opened for me. The nurse opened it, and when I got past the threshold, I felt the warmth of Maksen’s arms, holding me tight, closer to his heart.

“I want to go home. Now.”

And he sighed deeply, placing a kiss on my forehead. I had to take control of my own life, even if that meant risking it too.