Tempest of Wrath and Vengeance (Legacy #3)

43. Tessa

43

TESSA

“ I ’ll let her know. Let me know if you can get away for an hour tonight,” Luka was saying, his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder as he cut something at the kitchen counter. “I know that,” he added, before grabbing the phone and tossing it aside.

Tessa didn’t know how he’d managed to make this place not feel like a cave, but it suited him. The decor was similar to his spaces at the Arius holdings. The mattress on the floor with too many pillows and blankets. The leather sofas and large overstuffed chairs.

And all the frames.

So many fucking frames of all sizes.

She was surprised she hadn’t found drawers full of rings in this place.

He even had running water here. It was impressive, and she’d been grateful as the water had rained down on her after all the sex.

The really good sex.

That had been going on for a few days while she’d been hiding from the rest of the world.

The only other person she’d had sex with like that was Theon. It’d been different, but equally intense, and gods. Just thinking about any of it—Luka, Theon, both of them—had her pressing her thighs together.

She looked up to find Luka smirking at her, still chopping whatever he was preparing in the kitchen. She huffed, crossing her arms. For the last few days, she’d hardly worn clothing, slipping on one of Luka’s shirts if needed. When she’d come out of the bathroom this time though, she’d found a set of neatly folded clothes waiting for her. A fitted long-sleeve black top and pants.

Training clothes.

She hadn’t bothered with the socks or boots, and she’d left her hair down to dry around her shoulders.

This whole thing suddenly felt awkward. One would think she’d learned how to navigate this after Theon. It had been awkward with him too. Again, the same, but different, and it was all so fucking confusing. Because she was drawn to Luka in ways she couldn’t explain, but wasn’t she drawn to Theon in the same way, but different?

The same, but different.

None of it made any sense, and trying to figure it all out was driving her mad. Because her visions were showing her one thing, and her feelings were leading her down another path, and what was she supposed to do with any of it?

“Tessa, stop,” came a soft command, and she stilled at his voice.

Her hands were in her wet hair, and at some point she’d started pacing. Her power was flaring too, the bands on her wrists lighting up the space.

“How long are we staying here?” she asked, looking up at a large onyx frame. There was nothing in it. It was like he’d framed a section of the wall.

The sound of the chopping paused for the briefest of moments, but she felt something akin to…disappointment down the bond. Which was odd. She turned to watch him, his attention focused on the ingredients on the counter.

“For a while,” he answered tightly. “I was finally given information. I’ll explain while you eat.”

“Eat what?”

“Food,” he drawled, swiping up a bowl before making his way towards her. He stopped by one of the sofas, while she stayed planted by the wall. Luka sighed, setting down the bowl on an end table. “Out with it.”

“Out with what?” she asked.

“What is causing this spike of uncertainty and confusion down the bond.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tessa.”

The way he said her name told her exactly how much he believed that statement.

“Who were you talking to?” she asked instead.

But he shook his head, crossing his arms. “You already know the answer to that. We’ll talk about it after we sort out whatever this is.”

“What do you want me to say?”

He huffed in annoyance. “I want you to tell me whatever it is you’re thinking about.”

“You can hear my thoughts.”

“Only the ones you want us to,” he countered. “Just say it.”

“I don’t know what to say,” she snapped, sufficiently irritated. “I don’t know what to do in this situation. When I’ve fucked around in the past, I was gone as soon as it was over. It never mattered. Not until?—”

She snapped her mouth shut, pressing her lips into a thin line.

“Not until Theon,” he finished for her.

“Yes. Not until him. And we’re so fucked up ourselves that was a whole other thing to unpack and deal with.”

“Did you? Deal with it?” he prodded.

“What do you think?” she drawled.

“That you use sex as avoidance, and when it was more than that, you didn’t know how to deal with it. When feelings were attached, you couldn’t use your usual avoidance methods,” he answered.

“Fuck off with your introspective bullshit, Luka,” she said. “The only thing I felt for Theon was hate.”

He hummed in response.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Love and hate are equally intense emotions.”

“I do not love him,” she spat.

“But you do feel something more than hate.”

“I—” A sound of frustration clawed up her throat. “I don’t know. I don’t know what any of this is. And how can I feel something for him after what we did? Is it always awkward when feelings are involved?”

Her face screwed up at the thought. If that was the case, she didn’t understand why people enjoyed sex when it wasn’t cut and dry and without feeling.

A sigh came from Luka as he closed the distance between them. Her arms dropped to her sides when he took her face in his hands, bending down to brush a kiss to her brow. “It is only awkward because you do not know how to accept that someone cares for you simply because you exist.”

“Everyone wants something, Luka. Don’t be na?ve,” she scoffed. “This is Devram.”

“Answer this then: did you only fuck me to avoid something?”

She lurched back. “What? No!”

“Did you just use me for your own pleasure?”

“No.”

“Then…you want something from me?” he asked, and she saw his lips twitch as he fought his smirk.

“No,” she snapped.

“No?” he repeated, leaning in to brush his lips along the shell of her ear. “But you just said everyone wants something, so you must want something from me. If it’s not avoidance or pleasure, then…”

He trailed off, moving lower and kissing below her ear.

“And what about Theon?” she blurted. “You suddenly do not care that he thinks I am his? That I hate the male you are sworn to guard? That he and I were always meant to destroy one another?”

Luka pulled back, just far enough to look into her eyes. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he brushed another kiss to her lips before he said, “I won’t deny it will take time to navigate everything, but this is new for all of us. Nothing says it needs to be decided and figured out today.”

“Right. So when you were speaking to him a few minutes ago, the two of you just avoided the topic?”

“For now,” he agreed.

“You know why that is, right?”

Luka arched a brow, waiting for her to go on.

“Because this is awkward .”

Then she was squealing as Luka scooped her up and deposited her on the sofa before sinking down beside her.

“Was that necessary?” she demanded.

“Yes,” he answered. “That conversation was going around in circles. We needed to break the cycle, and you need to eat.”

He grabbed the bowl from the end table, placing it in her lap. She looked down to find yogurt with berries, granola, and honey.

Her nose wrinkled. “Did Theon send this?”

“He may have let me know there were supplies gathered. I Traveled and grabbed them while you were in the shower,” Luka answered.

She stirred the yogurt. It actually sounded really good, and she was starving.

“Did you eat?” she asked.

He nodded. “I waited to make yours until I heard the shower shut off.”

Taking a bite, she said, “What did Theon want?”

All the lightheartedness drained from him. “Tell me again what happened by the river.”

That fucking river.

She was never going there again.

In between bites of yogurt, she told him everything that had happened. The argument with Rordan in the morning. The Augury and the Hunters. Cressida and Mother Cordelia. Auryon dying. She’d already told him all this, the two of them trying to piece things together with limited information while waiting for word from Theon.

She glanced over to where the bow still sat on the dining table, dark and ominous in the space, and fell silent as she finished speaking. Luka hadn’t stopped touching her the entire time. Toying with her hair. Brushing his fingers along her arm, her leg. Listening to her and watching her eat. She only managed a few bites in between words.

“We couldn’t get to you because an emergency Tribunal meeting was called,” Luka said. “With everything that’s happened since, and with what you just told me, it just confirms it was all a setup.”

“For what?” she asked in confusion. “And what has happened?”

“We’re not entirely sure. Theon was summoned to another Tribunal meeting in a few days to discuss the crisis in Arius Kingdom, particularly Dark Haven.”

Tessa swallowed thickly, suddenly not hungry. When she said nothing to that, Luka went on.

“Dark Haven had to be evacuated, but we lost hundreds,” he said solemnly. “Males, females, children. It didn’t matter. They all had Arius blood.”

“Because that’s what they were created for,” she whispered. “To hunt down Arius descendants.”

Auryon had told her. She’d warned her not to summon them inside the boundaries of Arius Kingdom, but she had panicked. She was under attack, and they were severely outnumbered. She’d had no choice. Almost as if?—

“It was planned,” she said suddenly, her gaze snapping to Luka.

“Explain, baby girl,” he encouraged, as if he’d expected her to be the one to figure this out.

But her brow furrowed at his words. “Why did you stop calling me little one?”

He blinked at the odd question, twirling her hair around a finger again. “Little one was what I called you when I needed to remind myself you weren’t mine. Or that’s what it was supposed to do. It was a code only I understood. It worked for a little while, but by the end…” He trailed off, then sighed. “When I realized it wasn’t working anymore, I stopped using it, I guess.”

She nodded, mulling that over. “I still don’t know what this is.”

“Neither do I, but we don’t have to figure it out alone, right?”

She nodded again, stirring her yogurt just to have something to do with her hands. Clearing her throat, she said, “Anyway, Rordan was angry with me. Told me I was taking too long to fulfill my purpose, and I needed to start showing some effort. He told me I needed to prove I still understood my purpose, so I went to Arius Kingdom. I went to see Lange and Corbin while I tried to figure out what to do.”

“What did he want you to do?” Luka asked.

“Kill a prominent Arius Legacy. To prove myself to the cause, but I…”

“You couldn’t do it,” he breathed, and Tessa looked up to find him staring intently at her.

She braced herself, knowing this wasn’t going to be the answer he wanted. “I would have done it,” she said. “I still will do it, but I want it to be on my terms. When I’m ready. Not his.”

It was Luka’s turn to remain silent, so she went on. This was…nice. Sharing information. Working things out together. Not learning things when someone else deemed it necessary. Maybe her loyalty was wavering.

“But Cressida is aiding Rordan,” she said. “Valter was leading the Augury; Cressida was obviously a part of that. She’s been reporting movements back to Rordan for decades. It’s the only explanation. When I was attacked by Night Children, when Roan was injured, she had set that all up.”

“Theon did mention she had seemed upset by all of that,” Luka said, rubbing at his jaw. “Dex is working against you then?”

“Dexter has been working against me from the beginning,” she said derisively. “It has always been one big long game for them and Rordan.”

“Them?”

“Rordan. Dex. Oralia. I’m unsure about Brecken, but he is still one of the light guardians,” she replied.

“A light guardian? You said that phrase before.”

She nodded, scooping up another bite. “Xan said they are basically the counterpart to you.”

It took her a moment to realize Luka had gone so still she could swear he wasn’t breathing.

“What?” she asked in confusion.

“What did you just say?”

“I said that light guardians are your counterparts. Arius and Sargon created Guardians. Achaz got mad and created light guardians in answer,” she explained.

“And who told you that?”

His tone was too calm. Too dark. Too deadly.

And in that moment, she felt the blood drain from her face.

Oh, gods.

The bowl slipped from her hands to the floor, yogurt and berries spilling onto the rug.

“Luka, I?—”

Her hair was still wound around one of his thick fingers, and she could feel him vibrating with fury. “Who. The fuck. Told you that, Tessa.”

She swallowed, the yogurt threatening to come back up. “Just let me explain?—”

“Say it!” he yelled, and she flinched back, her hair slipping from his hold.

“Xan,” she whispered. And to make sure there was no doubt, she added, “Your father told me.”

Luka pushed to his feet, and she scrambled after him, keeping her distance as his eyes shifted and his wings tore free. She could see him trembling from where she stood, and she was certain he was fighting a full shift.

“Let me explain,” she tried again.

He’d never looked at her the way he did in that moment. His lip curled back, baring his teeth, as he snarled. “Explain it to me, Tessa. Explain to me how you’ve spoken to my godsdamn father and didn’t say a fucking word to me. Where is he?”

She swallowed again. “I discovered him by accident.”

“Where is he?” he growled again.

Tessa took a few more steps away from him before she said, “In Faven. In the cells beneath the palace.”

“When?”

“When what?” she asked, only because she didn’t want to answer the wrong question and make him more upset.

“When did you— How did you say it? Accidentally discover him?”

“Luka, please—” But she snapped her mouth shut at the look he sent her.

What is happening over there? Theon demanded down the bond, and she couldn’t blame him. Luka’s emotions were all over the place. She couldn’t separate the fury from the hurt from the wrath of the betrayal. But in all of that, she knew the adoration he’d looked at her with just moments ago was no longer there.

“You are not speaking to him right now,” Luka said, stalking towards her. “You are speaking to me.”

She moved back with each step forward he took. At one point, her feet tangled in the rug, but he never stretched out a hand to catch her or help her. When her back hit a wall, there was nowhere else for her to go.

“When?” he growled.

She exhaled through her nose, her eyes falling closed. She knew this answer was going to ruin everything, and it was entirely her own fault.

“No,” he growled. “Look me in the eye when you tell me how you’ve played me this entire fucking time.”

She took another deep breath, trying to swallow down her tears, but they spilled over, tracking down her face. “Days after I left Theon.”

He reared back as if she’d hit him with a bolt of her power. And the look on his face? Gods, it shattered her. The pieces she’d been trying to hold together slipped through her fingers. She thought Theon had broken her? This realm? No, she had destroyed herself because there was no coming back from this. She knew it in her bones.

“I have been… This whole time?” he demanded, and she wasn’t quite sure what he was asking.

She thought he was going to start pacing. He’d taken a few steps, but then he whirled, lunging for her again. She didn’t struggle in the slightest when his large hand wrapped around her throat.

She wished he would squeeze.

She wished he would summon his flames and burn her. It would hurt less than watching him learn all of this. Than watching the consequences of her own actions.

Wild.

Reckless.

Uncontrollable.

That was what she had been.

“For weeks I have been in the same place as my father . Who I have thought was dead for nearly twenty-five years,” he yelled, his breath hot on her face. “For twenty-five years, I have thought I was alone. The last of my kind. I have been trying to— You said nothing. Fucking nothing!”

“I’m sorry,” she rasped.

He was still holding her in place by the throat, but he suddenly yanked his hand back as though she had burned him .

“No, you’re not,” he spat. “You have had so many opportunities to bring this up. The first day I came to you. Any of the days you’ve slept beside me. Any of the times we were training. When I found out I had a fucking brother. Any godsdamn time, Tessa!”

She didn’t move. Not because she thought he would hurt her. He wouldn’t physically harm her. Deep down she knew that, but she’d never feared physical punishment. It was being shoved into a small, dark place. Into a cupboard or a wine cellar.

Being thrown into the dark.

Sure, she could make her own light, but that didn’t eclipse the loneliness.

She didn’t dare breathe because she was terrified that the slightest movement would remind him she was still here, and that he would make her leave the only place she’d ever felt wanted.

Accepted.

Loved.

The only place that had almost felt like home.

“Instead, you used me,” he snarled, and she didn’t deny it.

She had done that. So determined to have her vengeance, she’d become everything she’d hated about Devram. It was the only way to survive in a realm full of villains. You had to become one.

“Are you going to say anything?” he bellowed.

But what was there to say to this?

His palms landed on either side of her head, flat against the wall as he bent to peer into her face. “Tell me, Tessa. Look me in the face and tell me how you fucking used me. All this time you’ve sneered about me only being here because Theon sent me, when you’ve been using me. Using Theon. Probably using my own godsdamn father.”

“You can’t mean that!” she gasped, finally finding her voice.

“You said yourself everyone wants something, right?” he sneered. “Did you get what you wanted from me?”

“I did not ask you to stay!” she cried. “Not right away. You did that, Luka Mors. Not me.”

He scoffed, the sound so full of derision it made her flinch again. “Well? Did you get what you wanted from me then?”

“It was never like that,” she pleaded. “Not with you. Not in the end. I still have a purpose, and he is still an ally of Arius, not Achaz. I couldn’t free him, and he…”

“He what?” Luka barked.

“He knows my father. My mother. He knows so much,” she said, nearly in a whisper. “He was a link to something I was desperate for. He kept me company when no one wanted me.”

Something that could only be described as a dragon’s growl ripped from him, his palms slamming into the wall again. “If you would ever fucking listen to any of us—me, Theon, Axel—you would know that isn’t true. Theon has wanted you from the beginning. Not to use you. He’s wanted you . It’s all he’s ever wanted. I had to give you a pet name to remind myself not to want you. We’ve loved you far longer than even we realize.”

She shook her head, the tears streaming now. “None of you know how to love.”

“Or maybe you just don’t know how to let yourself be loved.”

He pushed off the wall when she didn’t respond to that. Turning his back to her, he said, “You wanted to be a monster? Congratulations, Tessa. You succeeded.”

He was moving towards a passage she hadn’t been down, walking away from her.

“Wait!” she cried, taking a single step. “Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Go home, Tessa,” he snarled. “You never wanted to be here anyway.”

“I don’t have a home,” she said, the words nearly a sob.

“It sure as fuck isn’t here.”

She stumbled, her back hitting the wall as something tugged at her naval. A pull she’d only felt with Luka, but it was how she knew what it was.

She didn’t look back as she stepped through a rip in the air and Traveled from Luka’s cave.

He didn’t want her anyway.

In the end, she had become her own villain.