Testing Recipes for Disaster (Emberwood #2)

Chapter 33- Lauren

E very morning, I was surprised to wake up and see what position I’d ended up sleeping in. I rarely had insomnia when Jer slept over, and I realized that I didn’t have a ‘normal’ way that I slept. Today, I had my head on his stomach, and the rest of me star-fished out, my shins and feet hanging off the bed.

This cannot be normal .

I slid off him and righted myself to my pillow like a regular person, but he rolled toward me and tugged me against his chest.

“I kind of liked you there,” he said, his voice thick with sleep.

“My feet were numb,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

“You first.” I rolled my eyes. I had no intention of going back to sleep because now my brain was awake, and I needed to do all the things. “You’re thinking too loud.”

“I have to call and confirm reservations and hunt down some RSVPs for the Stag and Doe party today. I feel motivated now , so I think I should do it now.

“Fine, fine. Go make coffee. I’ll come down and help you make phone calls or whatever in a minute.”

I gave him a long series of kisses down his neck, and he almost didn’t let me out of bed.

This event had been ten times easier to plan than the shower since there were only about twelve of us going, and we’d only had to reserve a table at a cute bar over in Centerville that had a great cover band on the weekends. I’d ordered cute stag and doe pins and stickers for everybody, as well as some very witchy-looking crowns for Sam and Jesse. Jesse inevitably wouldn’t wear his, but I figured he would for a few photos to make Sam happy. Otherwise, it was shaping up to be a low-key event, as requested.

Coffee was made, and I’d already called and left a message for the bar manager to confirm our table. I knew they wouldn’t be open this early, but I felt like my voicemail allowed me to check the task off my list anyway.

“What do you need from me, baby?” Jer asked, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach.

“Find out if Danny is bringing a date and if Hasan and Chase from the rec league are even coming.”

“You got it.”

He shot off a few texts and started making me eggs and toast. I texted Gen. It was weird that she hadn’t gotten back to me about coming.

LAUR: Hey girl! I wanted to double-check that you were going to be able to make it to Sam and Jesse’s party! Lemme know ?.

I was almost done with breakfast before I heard back.

GEN: I’m so sorry, Laur, I meant to text you before. I don’t think I’m going to make it.

LAUR: Boo! I hope everything is okay. I know Sam will miss you.

GEN: Yeah, I’m sad to miss it. We can chat soon.

I sent her six heart emojis for good measure. I knew this had something to do with Penn, but I didn’t want to push her. We were friends, but we weren’t the kind of friends where I could force her to tell me her business like I did with Sam. Yet, anyway.

“Danny is coming solo. Hasan can’t make it, but Chase will be there and is bringing his girlfriend, Annie.”

“You’re amazing. That’s all my tasks completed before nine. Well, as long as the manager calls me back. I could probably conquer the world today, if I wanted.”

“No doubt.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course. I’m an excellent secret keeper,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“I can’t wait for this wedding to be over.”

He barked out a laugh.

“You and me both, baby. And I know you’re pulling way more weight than me right now, so if you need help, please tell me.”

“Are you going to ask for my help with the cake?”

“Not a chance in hell, no.”

“Thought so. We’re good. Once this party is over, I become a helper rather than a planner. The wedding is all Sam and Zin. And Jesse, whatever. He’d show up in joggers and marry her on the baseball diamond if he could.”

“You’re not wrong. Hey, do you want to go to that bar this Friday night? Sam and Jesse already said they probably can’t do happy hour because of engagement photos or something. We could scope it out, listen to the band, whatever.”

“That’s a fantastic idea. Then I’ll know if there’s anything else I need to think of before the party. You’re so smart.”

“I have my moments.”

He kissed me in the way that made me forget about my to-do lists, and I was happy to let him.

MY DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT was scheduled for mid-day on Friday, which meant absolutely nothing could get done beforehand. I sat and wandered my house, thinking about all the things I should be doing with my time and doing none of them. Impossibly, the clock did eventually progress forward, and I left. I’d been going to the same doctor for years, so at least I didn’t have to figure out how to park somewhere new or where I was going. I did have to fill out a couple of forms, so I attempted to focus on that and not worry about what my doctor was going to say.

Jer sounded so reassuring when he told me I wasn’t lazy or losing my mind, but what if the professional disagreed and told me to, like, get my shit together.

Well, she can tell you how then, because you’ve been trying forever.

He’d helped me make a list of bullet points last night of the things I’d told him, plus some more I added that I thought might not be typical for everyone. Now that I was here, though, some of the things on the list felt silly.

Who forgets to eat? That’s dumb.

But it was also true. I sighed and resigned myself to whatever this woman was going to say. I turned in the papers and waited.

When all was said and done, I wondered what, exactly, had just happened. I’d been doing a fair amount of reading about people’s experiences getting diagnosed as adults with ADHD and how annoying the whole process could be. Honestly, a lot of those people’s doctors sounded like gaslighting assholes, and I didn’t think mine was, but I was still prepared for the worst. It wasn’t the worst, though. I walked out of that office feeling like my entire life made fucking sense.

She had been so nice about everything. I showed her my list, and she read through it a few times before nodding at me and agreeing that we needed to go through the rating scales together and try to help me get some control back in my life. I could have cried.

You did cry. A little .

I left with a prescription to try and some articles and book recommendations to read before my follow-up appointment next month. She assured me I could listen to the audiobook when I admitted that sitting and reading an entire book was unlikely. She encouraged me to also find a therapist, and I wondered if it would be an issue for me to go to Jesse’s. He seemed to like her so much, but I didn’t know if that was against doctor’s ethics to see siblings or something. I would ask.

I wondered if I could still do a cartwheel while I was on the way back to my car, because that’s how relieved I was that maybe I was on the verge of containing the chaos that was my life.

LAUR: I have the best news.

JEREMY: Oh yeah?

LAUR: I officially have the ADHD.

JEREMY : Oh! The appointment went well, then? I’m so happy you’re happy, baby.

LAUR: I’ll tell you more tonight. But yes. Thank you for making me go.

JEREMY : Anytime. See you in a bit.

I stopped short once I put my car in drive, realizing that my first instinct had been to text Jer, not Sam, not Jesse, not even my mom. He had so quickly become my first-to-call person when something happened, good or bad, and that was terrifying and exciting all wrapped into one tight little ball. So motivated was I by the outcome of that appointment that I drove straight to the pharmacy to drop off the script without waiting two weeks while it sat in my car.

THE BAR WAS SUPER CUTE . Sam and I had been to scope it out, but that had been on a weeknight, and the crowd wasn’t the same.

“We would be derelict in our duties if we did not try at least four appetizers, right? So, we know what to recommend for everyone?” I reasoned.

“Obviously. I assume anything that deals with bread and cheese?”

“You know me so well.”

I flipped my hair, which I’d curled into loose waves. He disappeared to the bar, and I sipped at my vodka soda. All the worry I had about getting bored with Jer was fading into memory at this point. He was a magnet, tugging me into his force-field anytime he was close.

“Hey, guess what?” he asked upon his return.

“Tell me. I can’t wait.”

He chuckled.

“The bartender here, Caleb, is a guy I used to hang out with. Okay, we used to party together, but he’s a good guy, honestly, and he’s working during the party next weekend. So, I asked him if he could make some sort of signature shot called a Stag and fruity drink called a Doe for when we’re here. He was totally down.”

“Oh, that’s a fantastic idea! You’re brilliant.”

I grabbed the font of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss me briefly.

“I’ve had my fair share of good ideas. Recently, anyway.” He smirked down at me, and I melted a little.

After another couple drinks and testing every carb-plus-cheese offering, I was certain this was the happiest I’d ever been. Every time Jeremy’s jeans brushed against my bare leg, or he rested his hand on the back of my neck or played with my fingers was enough to drive me insane. Happily, blissfully, insane. About this time, the best, and only, local cover band started to set up on the small, raised platform in the corner of the bar, and employees were moving tables to make room enough for people to dance once they were tipsy enough. I was already tipsy enough.

“Do you want to dance?” I asked after the band introduced themselves.

“With you? Always.”

It was possible that literal hearts and stars were going to come out of my eyes at any moment. With that, I slid off my stool and steadied myself with the table when my balance checked in my heels.

I tugged Jeremy’s hand toward the dance floor, my heart stuttering when he readjusted and threaded his long fingers through mine.

“You sure you’re good to stay upright on those stilts?”

His words were teasing, but his voice was lower and a bit more gravelly than normal, letting me know he might be having the same internal battle as me when it came to keeping my thoughts appropriate. Instead of letting either of us get caught up in that conundrum, I grasped his other hand and pulled, forcing our bodies flush and looking up at his hazel eyes, watching them darken.

“Nope. So, make sure I don’t fall.”

I unhooked our fingers, but placed his hands exactly where I wanted them on my lower back, and I traced purposeful circles on the back of his neck, tangling my hands in his hair. The band switched to an acoustic song from one of my favorite 90s bands, and I took that as a sign from the universe that we were exactly where we were supposed to be. Sam and her trust your intuition sermons were rubbing off on me, and Jimmy Eat World had me in my feelings.

“You are going to get us in trouble,” he murmured next to my ear while simultaneously sliding his hands down and pulling me impossibly closer, his fingers squeezing my ass through my dress.

“That’s the general plan,” I whispered back.

For whatever reason, even though we’d been together for a little while, this date, after officially declaring ourselves as something real, had the atmosphere feeling heavy over us. The barely contained groan he let out had electricity buzzing over my skin that had nothing to do with the vodka.

His lips traveled lightly against my jaw and brushed across my lips. I stopped breathing, trying not to launch myself at him. He pressed his mouth to mine, his lips soft and warm, before he pulled back only slightly, causing me to lean in to chase that feeling. He let out a low chuckle that I felt in my core, and then he was back, demanding entrance with his tongue, slanting his mouth over mine, and deepening the kiss. My brain was fuzzy already, but when he tugged my bottom lip between his teeth and bit playfully, I snapped back into the moment and tangled my hands in his hair with more intensity. I only vaguely registered the fact that we were still at least swaying, giving the impression that we were dancing and not making out in front of a bar full of people.

Jeremy’s thumb ghosted over my cheekbone before he gripped my neck under my curls and pulled back, making sure I was looking him in the eye.

“Do you wanna get out of—”

“Hey Lauren,” a less-than-friendly voice interrupted and cut through the haze that had gathered around us. I blinked several times and focused on the intruder to our moment.

Fuck .

Standing in front of us was a guy I’d gone on four or five dates with from a neighboring town not quite a year ago.

Shit. This town.

The bar we were at was in Centerville. I rarely ventured out of my bubble of Emberwood, and I forgot to be on the lookout for anyone I might know. He was a personal banker I’d met when I physically went into a bank branch to deal with a lost debit card.

“Charlie,” I nearly whispered, still not recovered from that kiss. “Hi.”

Please, please go away.

“How are you doing?” I continued.

He had light brown hair, brown eyes, and an easy smile, and I’d liked him. Until I didn’t. He’d made a comment about how I’d have to tone down my very vibrant home décor if a man ever lived with me.

Immediate pass.

But no, I hadn’t been a grown-up about it, and I’d stopped returning his messages.

“So, is this why you stopped answering texts?” gesturing to Jer, “or is he a one-time thing? I wasn’t sure if you spread your legs for anyone or if I should count myself as special even though you couldn’t be bothered to—”

“Charlie,” I ground out.

He looked at me expectantly.

“Back the fuck off, guy.”

Jer had dropped my hands and was now in front of me, blocking me from Charlie with his towering frame.

“Hey, man, I’m doing you a favor. She’ll fuck you over, and I wouldn’t want you to think she was more than a mediocre lay.”

I choked on the breath I could barely take in, thankful I couldn’t see Jer’s face as I ran to our table, grabbed my bag, and got the hell out of that bar before my tears left the corners of my eyes.