Testing Recipes for Disaster (Emberwood #2)

Chapter 36- Jeremy

T hat was not the ideal end to tonight , I thought as I watched Lauren disappear into her townhouse and headed for my apartment.

I was so angry at myself for not having a solution to this situation. The whole thing with that fucking asshole reeked of high school drama repackaged in adult wrapping paper, and my fists clenched around the steering wheel thinking about it.

Before the clusterfuck that was Charlie , I’d been thinking that was probably the best date I’d ever been on. She made me feel like life could be fun, and there didn’t have to be a shoe waiting to drop.

She was in rare form tonight. My chest tightened at the memory of her putting my hands where she wanted them and pulling at the roots of my hair. I’d never had a truly healthy relationship before, and we’d jumped into this one like skydivers who didn’t double check their parachutes and were hoping for the best. But the thing was, it was working .

And that one moment. That one fucking minute had thrown a wrench into everything. I ran my hand over my face, suddenly tired in a way that reached my bones. My phone buzzed as I pulled into my apartment complex.

JESSE: Hey, man. Thanks for tonight. I don’t know what happened, but Sam texted and said you took care of whatever it was and made sure Laur got home.

JEREMY: Of course.

JESSE: Do I need to kill anyone?

JEREMY: I am pretty sure that guy would sooner piss his pants than go near Lauren again, so I think we’re okay.

He responded with a thumbs-up, and I idled in my parking spot for a few minutes, trying to catalog the range of emotions I’d cycled through that night.

JEREMY: Do you have a minute if I stop by?

JESSE: Yeah, of course.

JEREMY: Be there in 10.

Their rental house was nice. I kind of wondered what sort of magic Sam had used to score it until I remembered that it was her aunt’s doing.

That woman is terrifying.

I jogged up to the front door and knocked twice before opening it.

“Kitchen!” Jesse called.

I met him in there and sat my ass on a barstool. He slid a beer to me from across the counter without asking.

“I fucked up, man.”

His eyebrows rose a fraction as he drank from his own bottle. “With?”

“Not with Laur. I...I know it’s weird that I’m dating your sister. I probably should have had that conversation a while ago.”

I glanced at him, hoping he knew I was being genuine because I didn’t have it in me to do a deep dive into that on top of everything else tonight.

“Jer. You’ve been my best friend since Little League. In high school? I wouldn’t have let you step foot near Lauren,” he admitted, earning a laugh from me. “But now? You’re good, man. I hope it all works out.”

I sighed in relief to have that officially out of the way. “Me too.”

“So, what did you fuck up, then?”

I let out the rest of the story from the bar about Delaney and how I’d completely screwed myself out of a job. If anyone got doing a job you were good at but didn’t love? It was Jesse. He had been the one to push me to sign up for school instead of just talking about it when he’d moved back.

“I don’t even think I’m looking for advice. Not really, anyway. I’m so pissed off at that guy. And at myself.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I might have properly punched him. If anything, I think you showed restraint.”

I huffed a laugh. “Thank you for recognizing that I could have done much worse.”

“Anytime.”

We finished our beers and moved on to less loaded conversation, but I did find I felt lighter after getting the situation off my chest. It didn’t fix anything, but I wasn’t carrying it alone. I made him swear he wouldn’t say anything to Sam because I didn’t want Lauren to know and get all in her head like it was her fault I didn’t get the job.

“I’ll do my best, man. You know she, like, knows things though, right?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how you handle that. Your best will have to be good enough.”

He shrugged in apology, and I made my way to the car to finally take myself home. My phone buzzed when I sat down.

SAM: You’re a good apple.

JEREMY: Is this like an inside joke I don’t get?

SAM: No. The opposite of a bad apple. She’s upset but okay. Just wanted you to know. Night, Jer.

JEREMY : Thanks, Sam

The knot of worry sitting in my chest loosened slightly for the first time since I left Lauren at her house. Nothing was solved, but she was okay, and that was what mattered right now. I’d deal with the dissolution of my most promising job prospect tomorrow.

I’D ARRANGED FOR SATURDAY off a while back because I needed to prep everything I could ahead of time for the rehearsal dinner desserts and the wedding cake. However, I had planned on doing that at Lauren’s house. Where all my stuff was. So, instead, I sat and typed out texts and deleted them for a solid forty-five minutes. Finally, I had no choice. I at least had to go pick up my ingredients and pans and bring them back to my apartment to get started.

JEREMY : Hey. I swear I am trying to give you your space...I took today off to get the cake layers done and frozen for the wedding, and I need to at least come and get my stuff. Totally fine if you don’t want me to use your kitchen. I didn’t want to show up unannounced. You know that I miss you already, right?

LAUR : I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fuck up your plans. I’m headed to work in ten, so I won’t even be home. Feel free to work here as long as you want, you know where the key is.

JEREMY : Thanks—I don’t know that I can ever go back to my oven, honestly.

LAUR : I miss you too. I’m not upset with you for anything that happened last night. I’m upset with me, and I need to work it out. Okay?

JEREMY : Okay. But if you decide you want someone to explain to you all the reasons you’re not at fault, please say the word.

LAUR : Noted. Happy baking.

That was one crisis dealt with. At least partially. The next one was going to hurt a lot more. I sat down at my computer and willed the words to come to me that would make this any easier.

Delaney,

Thank you so much for the opportunity to interview and go over my portfolio. I want to apologize for the incident you witnessed at Prime last night. While I do not believe that moment to be a representation of my character, I understand that my actions speak louder than my words.

Thank you again for your time. I wish you all the best in finding the right person for your shop.

Sincerely,

Jeremy Ash

That was that.

GETTING INTO THE RHYTHM of baking did help calm me down. I also took advantage of Lauren’s stereo and played my music loud enough that I could feel the bass in my teeth. I worked for several hours, cleaned, got what I needed to into the freezer, and locked her house back up. I thought about staying until she got home, hoping we could talk, but she’d been clear about what she wanted. So, I left.

In total, I’d had too many cups of coffee and a protein bar that day, and I felt that choice in my stomach. I stopped in town to get something quick from the café, scarfing down a sandwich without even tasting it. I glanced over at Books and Broomsticks on the way back to my car. I remembered how helpful Sam had been the last time I was feeling lost, and I found myself wandering over there before I even made the decision. The bell chimed, and the scent of lavender and rosemary washed over me.

“Mr. Ash, what a pleasant surprise.”

I looked over to see Sam’s Aunt Zinnia shelving books, her long silver hair tied back in a loose braid.

“Hey, Ms. Crawford. I was getting some food and thought I’d see if Sam was around.”

“Ah, she is meeting with her photographer today, so she won’t be in until late this afternoon. Anything I can help you with?”

Zinnia was one of those people who could see right through you. She didn’t make me uncomfortable—she was very warm, and I’d never seen her be judgmental. She knew too much.

“Oh, no, I’m good. Was just saying hi. I was going to tell her I got the cakes done and frozen today, so I’m right on schedule.”

“That’s wonderful. I’ll pass along the message. Are you sure you wouldn’t like a reading? On the house, of course. You’ve done such a lovely job with everything for the wedding.”

“Oh! No, that’s okay, I’m—” I tried to finish the sentence, but the words wouldn’t quite come out.

She smiled at me and went to sit at one of the small tables off to the side of the store’s displays. I sat down across from her, feeling like I was awaiting my fate. A well-worn deck of tarot cards flew through her fingers.

“Do you have a question, or shall we see what comes up?”

“Um, no questions in particular,” I lied.

She gave me a smile that said she knew very well that wasn’t the truth.

Lying to a psychic is a bold move .

“Samantha told me about reading for you the other day, how strong your grandfather’s spirit was.”

“Did she? It was kind of a mind-blowing moment, to be honest. I... well, I miss him.”

“He misses you. He’s quieter today than she described. I think he got out a lot of what he wanted to say last time. But he still wants me to tell you he’s here. And to tuck in your shirt.”

I barked out a laugh at that. He complained about my clothes constantly when he was alive.

She started laying down cards on the table.

“Your work situation feels stuck right now, and I can see your frustration. Though, you’re hiding it well from most everyone else. Is that your intention?”

“I... yeah, I guess it is. I don’t mean to hide it like, deceptively. It’s just my own issue.”

“That much is clear, yes. Know that you don’t need to. It’s not benefiting you to keep it to yourself, and if anything, it’s slowing down the process of you getting unstuck. Regardless, things will shift soon.”

I blew out a breath. She was calling me out on a pretty serious scale. It was terrifying.

“That’s good. That would be very helpful.”

“I’m going to describe an image that your people are showing me, and you can take from it what you want or see if it makes sense.”

I nodded.

“They’re showing me you holding on to a rope and being led along a path, but you don’t know where it’s going. You’re following it because you think you should or you feel like it's the only way.

“What you can do is plant your feet and yank that rope toward you and see exactly what it is that’s been pulling you along for all this time. When the rope is gone, you’ll see all the paths before you, and you can choose freely. They want me to be clear that this isn’t only about work. This is about all the big, beautiful, scary things in your life.” She looked at me pointedly and, therefore, didn’t need to add the words like Lauren or like your family at the end of her explanation.

I swallowed hard. “That makes a lot of sense, yes. Um, do my people have any advice on how to do that? With the rope?”

“Certainly. Examine what you’ve lost. Often in life, we are driven far more by the fear of losing than the promise of gaining. And I say examine because it’s not about wallowing in past hurts. It’s about observing how they occurred, how you’ve changed, and overcome. You’ve already dealt with those. You don’t need to let them keep calling the shots, so to speak.”

“So, really fun things to think about. Lots of heartwarming memories.”

She shot me an apologetic smile.

“Thank you, so much. This was... eye opening.”

“Anytime. I mean that.”

I stood and pushed in the chair, both reluctant to leave and poised to run out of the shop at the same time.

“Oh, and Mr. Ash?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Sometimes, what seems like an ending is only an intermission. Have a good rest of your day, dear.”

“You too, Ms. Crawford.”

I shuffled out of the shop and back to my car. I supposed it was too much to ask that she tell me everything was going to be fine and there was nothing I needed to do that was in any way difficult or sad.

Probably.