Texas Temptation (Making a Family #1)

Chapter Ten

“Oh, no, dear, that can’t be,” Amelia said, looking over Jordan’s shoulder at the eight by ten wedding photograph filling the page.

“That’s Cade’s cousin Sam. Samuel Houston Everett. He just got married a year ago to the sweetest girl, Sara Anne Pembroke. They live in Austin. They haven’t even started a family yet. And his hair is brown, not blond. Didn’t you say Caleb’s father was blond?”

“His hair’s darker and he has a mustache now, but it’s him. He told me he was Cade Cullen Everett.”

Jordan was sure of it. The same sexy arrogance shone in the picture. The way he held his head, the eyes that were exactly like Caleb’s. It was the man she’d known as Cade Cullen Everett five years ago on the sand at South Beach.

A cousin of Cade’s. Of course, who better to know about Cade Cullen Everett and the ranch than a family member who had known him all his life? But why had he used Cade’s name instead of his own?

“Oh dear. I don’t know what Cade’ll say,” Amelia said.

Jordan studied the picture, expecting to feel something. But there was nothing. No hurt, no pain, no regrets. Any feelings she’d once held for this man had faded over the years.

She loved Cade totally and completely. Staring at this face, she felt as if she only knew him slightly, from another world. He had no place in her life, in Caleb’s life. She was free of any spell he’d once held.

She looked up at Amelia.

“Don’t tell him anything. He doesn’t need to know.”

“Oh, but he does, dear. Otherwise we’d invite Sam to the wedding and imagine how awkward that would be,” Amelia said, definitely worried.

Grimly, Jordan nodded. Awkward didn’t begin to describe it. How could she marry into the family unless Cade knew the truth? Would it wreck his relationship with his cousin?

What of their own relationship? How would he feel knowing she’d once loved his cousin?

Jordan knew Amelia had already told Cade by the way he stared at Caleb during dinner. And by the curt responses to any overtures on her part.

Even Amelia seemed subdued.

Rosita eyed them curiously as she served the meal. But nothing was said in front of Caleb.

Jordan felt as if they had already set a pattern for evenings. She’d put Caleb to bed, then wander down to Cade’s study where they’d spend time together. Amelia usually left right before Caleb went to bed, so the rest of the evening belonged to her and Cade.

They could discuss the situation, decide what they’d do. Her heart beating fast, she headed for the study.

Tonight, she heard him talking as she approached the door. It was almost closed, but hadn’t latched. Did he have a visitor?

“…then let me hypothesize. You died your hair blond, took off for Florida on spring break when your mother and I thought you were studying to complete your course work with a passing grade. You used my name so no one would find out. What did you do, hock something to come up with the money?”

There was a silence. Jordan could almost feel the waves of frustration and anger. She pressed closer, knowing she shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but unable to resist. Cade was talking to his cousin.

“Water under the bridge, huh? Did you never think there would be consequences for your actions?”

Another moment of silence. She wished she could hear the other person. Did he have regrets? Had it only been a careless fling for him? Would he want to know his son?

“Blast it, Sammy. I’ve bailed you out of trouble a dozen times since your father died. You drove your mother to distraction with your antics, always expecting someone else to pull your irons from the fire. I thought you’d turned around that last time. What of the promises you made to her? To me?”

Another silence. Jordan’s heart pounded. She closed her eyes, wishing with all her heart that she’d never seen the picture, that she’d never said the fateful words aloud, or that Amelia hadn’t returned at that very moment.

“Yeah, well old son, one of those wild oats is in my house right now. Along with his mother. Remember her? Jordan Carhart? Pretty blond with a figure that makes a man drool?”

Jordan hardly heard the compliment. Why had Cade called his cousin?

Shouldn’t he have discussed things with her first? They could have decided together how to handle the situation.

Though she supposed a short-term solution wasn’t possible. There were years of family events ahead of them. They needed to decide how to handle them all.

“While you were graduating from the university through the strings your mother and I pulled, Jordan was giving up hope of college and scrambling around to take care of your son. That counts for nothing. Her aunt died. So it was just Jordan and Caleb—and all the problems of being a single parent with no education to speak of.”

Jordan’s heart raced. She shouldn’t be listening. But she couldn’t tear herself away.

“I don’t know what I want you to do, but I’m so mad I could spit nails. When are you going to take responsibility for your life, for your choices, and for your mistakes? I’m tired of bailing you out of scrapes.”

Cade's hard voice sent shivers up Jordan’s back. She hoped he never got that angry with her.

She caught her breath as the pain hit her. Was that what he was doing? Bailing her out? Providing a place for her because…because why? For Caleb? In memory of Vicki?

Not because he loved her. He hadn’t once told her so.

And now, he had yet to mention to his cousin their upcoming wedding. Instead, he was demanding his cousin take responsibility—to relieve him of the need?

Was she living a lie?

No wonder she couldn’t believe Cade loved her. He didn’t, and she’d known it deep inside.

Jordan turned and almost stumbled. She froze, afraid Cade had heard her. He mustn’t know she overheard his conversation. He must never suspect.

Quietly she made her way back upstairs, to her room. Closing the door softly behind her, she leaned against it, feeling old and tired and so dispirited she couldn’t even begin to imagine her future.

Maybe there’d been a reason the ring hadn’t been ready today. It was never to be hers.

Maybe there’d been a reason Cade had told no one. Had he hoped something would turn up so his impetuous proposal would become moot?

Did he expect Sam to sweep in and take her and Caleb off with him? She was sure his wife would have something to say to that.

Everything was a mess. Slowly, she crossed the room and eased down on the bed. Too distraught for tears, she gazed dried-eyed off into the darkness, wondering what was the best thing to do.

She and Caleb couldn’t stay, not now. Knowing Cade didn’t really love her, didn’t really want to marry her, awkward didn’t begin to describe how she felt.

They’d have to return to Florida. The sooner the better. Before any further plans were made or any further action taken for a wedding that would never take place.

In the morning. They’d leave in the morning.

Sometime later, Cade knocked softly on her door. Jordan didn’t move. Even if he opened the door, he’d see the room was dark and assume she was asleep. After a moment, she heard him move away.

Goodbye , she silently called after him. Goodbye, my love .

Jordan slept fitfully during the night. When dawn lightened the sky, she rose, and went to shower and change. Sleeping in her clothes had been uncomfortable, but she’d hardly noticed.

Once dressed in fresh clothes, she quietly set about packing. She’d done this before, only this time there’d be no man standing in the doorway asking her to stay.

She almost cringed, remembering how happy she’d been when he’d asked her to marry him.

Why hadn’t she realized at the time it was the third choice? He’d first offered her a job, then a chance at schooling. She still didn’t understand why he felt he had to marry her, but she wished she’d gone with her instincts at the time that, as a proposal, it had fallen a little short of perfection.

She’d noticed when buying the rings. But she’d wanted it too much to pay attention to obvious signs. Just as she had five years ago when Aunt Maggie warned her to be careful. She was too trusting and too impetuous. Maybe this time she’d learn that lesson.

Her car was parked in the back. When she heard Caleb moving around, she went to get him dressed and then sent him down to see about breakfast. Rosita loved pampering him. Let him have one last meal before they departed. Once he scampered down the stairs, she quickly packed his things.

She wrote a brief note and left it in the study, where Cade would see it. She assured him she would repay the cost of the surgery and thanked him for all he’d done for them both.

Taking both suitcases to the car, she put them in the trunk, fairly certain no one had seen her.

She joined Caleb for breakfast, complimenting Rosita on her cooking, and thanking her for all she’d done for them.

“My pleasure. If things don’t go the way you want, you must tell me. A woman takes more interest in how her own house is run than a man, I think. You’ll be in charge. I do hope you will keep me on.”

Jordan nodded, knowing there would never be a change. Even if Rosita didn’t run things perfectly, Jordan wouldn’t be here to notice.

“You run this home, Rosita. Nothing will ever change that,” Jordan said, knowing how true it was.

After breakfast, Jordan took Caleb outside.

“We need to have a talk, Caleb. And we need to drive in our car,” she said.

“Okay.”

Jordan had to get his car seat from Cade’s sedan, and she almost held her breath lest someone see her and ask what she was doing, but the ranch was quiet. The cowboys were out on the range, and Cade and Penny were in the office on the other side of the house. Amelia rarely came over to the big house until closer to lunchtime.

Jordan would miss her. She regretted not being able to tell her goodbye. But she dare not risk it. She’d write and make sure Caleb sent a picture or something.

As they drove down the driveway, Jordan did all she could to keep her feelings numb. Turning her back on the man she loved was the hardest thing she had ever done. But she couldn’t live where love didn’t bloom.

By the time they stopped for the night, Jordan’s stoicism had broken. Once a cranky, confused and unhappy Caleb was asleep, she took a shower and cried until the water ran cold. Slipping into her nightshirt, she climbed into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

She hated leaving, but hated the thought of living with Cade when he didn’t love her even more. Had he been bailing her out as he obviously was used to doing with his cousin? She refused to be a burden.

The next morning, she felt groggy and cranky herself. Her eyes were swollen from her crying and her energy level flagging. But her determination never wavered.

She pushed on eastward, despite Caleb’s demands to return to the ranch. She tried over and over to explain to him they had to return home, but he was inconsolable. He wanted to see Cade, to see Amelia, to play with the dogs and pet the horses. To learn to ride and get his own pony. And learn to become a cowboy.

Through Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama she drove, trying to ignore her son’s tearful pleas, and the demands of her own heart.

Maybe she should have stayed. Even half a loaf was better than nothing, wasn’t it? Even if Cade didn’t love her, she loved him. Would that have been enough?

Another night of tears and Jordan was ready to do anything to get Caleb to stop urging her to do what she wanted to do more than anything. Finally, she bribed him. If he’d stop talking about the ranch and the people who lived there and stopped pressuring her to return, she’d get him a puppy when they reached home.

It worked like a charm. Too bad she couldn’t find the same solace in the thought of a new family member.

Then, as if programmed to add to her frustration and unhappiness, the car broke down just after reaching the Florida state line. Another day waiting for a part, and Jordan was ready to tear her hair. All she wanted was the sanctuary of her home.

On the sixth day, they reached South Beach. Jordan was exhausted. An afternoon thundershower forced them to close the windows. Since the car didn’t have working air-conditioning, she was growing hotter and damp with perspiration and humidity. The drive had been a strain. She wanted a shower, and a quick dinner, then bed. Tomorrow was soon enough to sort through things and make plans.

Tears threatened again when she thought of plans she’d made with Cade. But she resolutely put that behind her.

She’d call Julie first thing. Her friend would help. And once she was back at work, engulfed in normal routine things, she’d quickly forget about Cade Everett and the promise he’d once held.

She pulled into her designated parking place and stopped. Once again, they’d have to get out in the rain. She still didn’t have an umbrella. No matter. This time, they could change once they got inside.

She’d get the bags later. Right now, she just wanted the sanctuary of their apartment.

When she and Caleb quickly rounded the side of the building to reach the front door without becoming totally soaked, he suddenly pulled away, running ahead of her, splashing through puddles, yelling.

“It’s Cade. He’s come to get us.”

Jordan stopped, staring. The rain poured down, wetting her shirt, her hair, her bare legs beneath her shorts. But she couldn’t move.

It was Cade.

He rose from the top step and reached down to swing Caleb up and hug him.

“Howdy, partner. You doing okay?” he asked, his eyes immediately moving to find Jordan.

She slowly walked forward. What in the world was he doing here? Her heart pounded. She felt light-headed. Cade, here.

She wanted to run into his arms and have him hold her forever.

But caution prevailed. She’d made her decision. Nothing had changed.

“We missed you, Cade. But Mommy’s getting me a puppy, one that can come in the house. Can he come to your house? I want him to sleep on my bed with me, but she said no, he had to stay on the floor. But he can come inside, can’t he?”

Caleb was talking almost as much as Amelia did.

Cade said, “We’ll see.”

He leaned over to put Caleb down, his eyes capturing Jordan’s as he walked toward her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, afraid to believe her eyes.

“First things first,” he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard.

She didn’t know whether to feel chastised or cherished when he ended the kiss. She knew she felt totally bemused with the rain pouring down, the thunder rumbling in the distance, and her heart racing.

“Did you have car trouble?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said with a sigh.

“I’ve been here two days. I thought I gave you enough time to get home if you didn’t have car trouble, but I thought you had to have been held up by something. I worry about you in that car.”

“We’re fine. Why are you here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re here.”

“I left you a note.”

“Don’t you think I deserve more than a brief note? We’re getting married, Jordan. Surely you can do better than that.”

The rain bounced off the pavement. The scent of wet asphalt filled her senses.

“We’re getting wet,” she said, wishing he was right—that they were still getting married. She watched him warily.

“So invite me inside.”

It was the least she could do. Hadn’t he taken her in when she knocked on his door in the rain? It wasn’t quite déjà vu. He wasn’t sick. She hoped he didn’t plan to stay beyond the time it’d take her to explain. She hoped she could do so without making a total idiot of herself blubbering about love and devotion and obligations and all.

As soon as they entered her apartment, she knew it had been a mistake. Cade seemed to take up all the space. She glanced around. The place was neat, if a bit musty, being closed up for so long. But it was nothing to compare with the lavish Everett ranch home.

“Go change into dry clothes,” she instructed Caleb.

He ran into his room. She just hoped he’d pick out something that was suitable, and not a bathing suit with a sweater.

Turning, she brushed back her dripping hair.

“You should go change, too,” Cade suggested.

“I’m fine.”

“You’ll get chilled if you stay wet. I’m not going anywhere.”

It almost sounded ominous.

“What about you?” she said, stalling.

“I doubt you have anything here that will fit me. I’ll be fine. Time enough to change when I return to the motel.”

She brought him a towel and then went to her room to put on dry clothes. She was nervous, no denying that. Why had Cade come? She thought she’d explained everything in her note.

He looked so good. She wanted to fling herself into his arms and let him hold her. But she couldn’t do that again. She must never forget that.

Reasonably dry, she returned to the living room. Cade had taken off his shirt and hung it in the doorway to the kitchen. It was too damp to dry quickly, but he was probably warmer with it off.

She definitely was, unable to stop staring at his broad chest.

He held out a rumpled sheet of paper. It was her note.

She looked at him.

“I thought it explained everything.”

“Now that you know who Caleb’s father is, are you hoping for some kind of reconciliation?” he asked.

Jordan was dumbfounded.

“Of course not.”

How could he ever imagine such a thing? Hadn’t she told him more than a hundred times over the last week she was in Texas how much she loved him?

And hadn’t he been silent every time? She should have listened to that.

“Then you changed your mind about getting married.”

She nodded.

“Why?”

“I said in the note.”

“That it would be better for us to go our separate ways? Better how?”

“I’m very grateful for what you’ve done for Caleb,” she began, but he interrupted.

“Grateful be damned. I don’t want your gratitude. I never did.”

“But I don’t think you wanted my love either, did you? Wasn’t I just an obligation you felt saddled with?”

“No.” Cade sounded firm.

“I’ve had a lot of miles to think through. Do you remember asking me to marry you?”

“Of course.”

“I was third choice.”

“What?” he said in disbelief.

“It was third choice. First you offered to send me to college, then find me a job. When I didn’t take either of those, you came up with marriage.”

“I didn’t want you to leave.”

“And I don’t want to live with and compete with a ghost.”

That would end the discussion. He couldn’t come back against that.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at her, a frown marring his features.

“I still don’t know why you asked me to marry you, but you don’t love me. You love Marissa. You always will. I didn’t want to be second best.”

He crossed the room in three steps and took her in his arms.

“You are not now nor ever will be second best. Marissa is dead. Yes, I loved her. A part of me will always love her, I expect. Don’t you still love your aunt even though she’s dead? But I’m not in love with a dead woman. I’ve known that for a while, ever since you came into my life. Didn’t you say life moves on? It does. I’ve been given another chance at the golden ring. Another chance to love a woman who means everything to me, to build a new family, starting with Caleb, but hopefully continuing with more kids of our own. Sadly, Marissa is gone. You’re alive, vibrant and enchant me beyond belief. When you left—” he hesitated a long moment, gazing into her eyes. “I knew what it would be like if you never came back. I couldn’t deal with it, Jordan. I need you. I want you. You’re a part of me.”

“You have never once said you loved me,” she said simply, almost afraid to believe what he was saying.

The facts spoke for themselves. She’d trusted a man long ago and been let down. She wasn’t sure she was up to it again.

He looked away, as if in pain, releasing her arms and crossing his own across his chest. Then he faced her again, his eyes wary.

“Sorry about that. I regret it. I didn’t know.”

“Know what?”

“I didn’t know how much I loved you until you left. It was worse than Marissa’s dying. At least her death was an accident. Nothing either of us could prevent. And it was over and done with. But your leaving—suddenly I realized what my life would be like without you in it. No bright-eyed optimism, no wide-eyed wonder, no laughter, no loving. It was a pretty bleak picture, let me tell you. And there wasn’t the clean break as with death. You’re still alive and so am I. All I could do was plot how to get you back. This time, fate wouldn’t win. You and I belong together, Jordan. I love you with a love so strong I can’t imagine going on if you don’t marry me. If you don’t spend the rest of our lives with me, I don’t know what to do. I can’t live in this world and know you are also in it and not with me. Come back. Give me another chance, and I won’t blow it this time. I’ll tell you every day how much I love you.”

Jordan’s heart began a heavy beating. Her hopes rose sky high. Tentatively, she reached out a hand and rested it on his cool skin.

“You really love me?”

“Oh, darling, yes, I love you. More than anything.”

He leaned down and kissed her.

His skin heated, warming her. His muscles bunched and moved as he pulled her closer for a deeper kiss. Her own blood heated, chasing the last of the rain’s chill away.

Caleb came into the room and stopped when he saw his mother and Cade kissing. Cade heard him and slowly ended the kiss, looking over at the small boy.

“Why are you kissing Mommy?” Caleb asked.

Cade held out a hand and Caleb came over. Scooping the boy up, Cade held him in one arm, his other firmly around Jordan.

“It’s what mommies and daddies do,” he said.

“Are you my daddy now?” Caleb asked.

“I’m not your biological father, Caleb,” Cade said. “But from now on, as long as you live, I’m your Dad.”