Thawed Out (Merry Everything #4)

Chapter 16

16

“ S o what’s the plan for Cassie’s birthday?”

Shit. Cassie’s birthday.

Fuck .

Kiren glanced up at Flynn and mouthed Cassie’s birthday . “Oh. Flynn and I were just discussing that, Mom. Let me get back to you, okay?”

Flynn opened his phone and started scrolling.

“Maybe Friday night?” Mom suggested.

“I have to tutor.”

“Saturday afternoon then.” Mom shot back quickly. “We could go to that bouncy place she likes.”

“No, that won’t work. Flynn has a shift on Saturday.”

“Oh.”

He hated when she did that. “Oh?”

“Well, you’re both just very busy, is all. And it’s her fifth birthday.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes for Flynn. “I know which birthday it is, Mom. Can I call you back, please?”

“Why are you tutoring?”

“I…love it,” he lied. “You know me, I want to help kids succeed.”

There was a long pause. “And Flynn just loves to work shifts again all of a sudden?”

He needed to get her off the phone. “Mom. Let me call you back with the plan. Please.”

“Okay, but soon. I want to order her a fancy cake.”

Heaven forbid they might want to do the cake. “Soon. Okay? Love you. Bye.” He hung up and flopped back on the couch. “Crap.”

“Right on. I can stay awake on Sunday afternoon, maybe?” Flynn winked over at him, dark circles under his eyes. “What should we get her?”

“Sunday afternoon.” He scrolled through his calendar. “No tutoring. Flynn. Flynn . How did we forget this?”

He knew what she wanted. She wanted a puppy. But how would they manage that with their crazy schedules? Maybe a stuffed puppy?

“I only know what day it is because if you don’t get up to be at school, I don’t have to go to the office, just the hospital.”

“We’re terrible people.” He was kidding, mostly. “She wants a puppy but—” He frowned at Flynn.

“This summer. We’ll talk about it this summer. We’re not in a puppy space. How about a robot dog?”

“Can we afford a robot dog?” The word robot sounded expensive. “Maybe a plushie one with a little doghouse or something.”

“There’s a soft one with a remote control that barks and stuff. It’s twenty-five, I think. She’ll love it.” Flynn frowned. “Do I need to make food or anything?”

“That sounds perfect. Mom wants—she suggested —that we have her party at the bouncy place. So we can just do pizza.”

“Cool.” Flynn blinked at him. “They’re going to bitch and say we suck as parents, aren’t they?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “Mom made some comments about me tutoring and you working. I don’t know what she was insinuating. Maybe she does think we suck.”

“Maybe we do. I don’t know. We’re doing the best we can with what we have.” Flynn shook his head, growling a little bit.

“We are.” He slid over to Flynn and “This is our family, so it doesn’t matter what they think.” He wasn’t sure he entirely believed that, but he needed to right now. “This is about us.”

“You know it. Still, I feel like the world’s worst dad. Poor little forgotten girl.” Flynn winked at him, obviously trying to play.

He went along, because given everything they were doing, it was forgivable. It was far from too late. “The good news is she doesn’t know, and Mom just thinks we’re idiots, so this will be our little secret.”

“Fair enough. I’m sure as shit not going to tell.”

Kiren chuckled. “Are you okay with Mom ordering a cake? I can tell her no.”

“I think that’s amazing. Tell her thank you very much. I’ll get my mom to bring birthday plates or something.”

“Perfect. I’m going to make a reservation today. Can you talk to some parents tomorrow at drop-off and invite them?” One birthday party coming up.

“Sure. I’ll talk to Nan and…what is Kaylei’s mom’s name? The blonde with the big…personality.”

He cracked up. Her personality had to be at least a double-D cup. “Donna. Her daughter doesn’t miss anything.”

“Donna. Right. She’s a sweetheart and a half. She’ll definitely show up.” Flynn leaned his head back.

“She is and she will.” He put a hand on Flynn’s chest and studied him for a second. “Want some Tylenol?”

“I probably ought to.” Flynn lifted his hand, kissed it in the center of his palm. “Fuck, I’m tired.”

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and hauled his ass off the couch to get Flynn some Tylenol and a glass of water. He bent to kiss that tired head of wild hair first, though. “Be right back.”

“You don’t have to, love. You’ve got to be friggin’ exhausted.” Flynn’s eyes were closed, lips parted as he began to snore.

He smiled and shook his head. “Mmhmm. And you’re asleep, babe.” He went to the kitchen and got himself a beer. The kids were in bed, Flynn was out—for the moment anyway—his grading was all done so, he had some time to himself.

He opened his beer and sat at the breakfast bar. Time to himself. What should he do?

What did normal people do with their free time? He’d watch TV, but he didn’t even know what was on TV right now. Everyone seemed to be binging something. He was lucky to get ten minutes of a cooking show or a rerun of Friends .

He could read a book, but that was a slippery slope. He’d be asleep too in five minutes.

He pulled out his phone and tried to doom-scroll, eyes drooping enough he had to keep blinking to keep them open.

“Dad-Mom? Dad-Mom, there’s a monster in my closet!” Cassie’s eyes were filled with tears.

“Hmm?” He lifted his head, which had been drooping over his phone. “Oh, hey girlie. Monsters, did you say?” He shook the cobwebs from his head. Those were real tears. “Show me.”

She held her arms up to be picked up as soon as he stood. “In the closet. I heard it.”

“Okay, let’s go look.” He scooped her right up because that was what she needed. His whole body felt heavy and with her in his arms he felt like he was walking through a swamp. They trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. “Can we look? Do you want to wait on your bed or look with me?”

“What if it bites us?” she whispered. “What if it’s a snake?”

“If it’s a snake we’ll call Daddy,” he whispered back. “He understands snakes. But I don’t think a snake likes to be inside, even in a closet. I think you and I can be brave together. What do you think?”

“Okay.” She squeezed him tight. “If we die, I love you.”

Jesus. Where did that come from?

“I love you too.” What else could he say?

He reached for the closet door and opened it slowly. It was dark so he pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, shining it everywhere. “Do you see anything?”

“N-no, but Dad-Mom, I heard som?—”

A rattling came from the ceiling and Cass screamed, the sound piercing.

A second later he heard Flynn roar, “CASSIE!”

Shit. “I’ve got her, babe!” He shouted back. God, what an awful scream to wake up to. He’d have panicked too. “It’s okay. Well, mostly okay.” There was definitely something in the fucking attic.

“Mostly okay?” Flynn hit the bedroom door like a freight train. “What’s wrong?”

“Daddy?”

“Back to bed, Jas. Everything is mostly okay.”

“Mostly?”

“Go back to bed, Jasper. Cassie is worried about monsters in her closet, it’s okay.” It wasn’t totally a lie. He didn’t dare tell the truth while Jasper was standing there.

He moved away from the closet with Cassie clinging to him so tightly he could probably let go and she’d just stay stuck to him.

“Ugh.” Jasper sighed. “There are no monsters, Cassie. I told you.”

“Dad-Mom heard it! It’s a monster! It’s going to eat us!” Cassie was inconsolable.

He wanted to tell Flynn they had critters in the attic, but they needed to get the kids back to bed first.

“Dad-Mom?” Flynn asked. “Should I go up in the attic, maybe?”

Oh, good man.

He nodded giving Flynn a look that meant there was definitely an issue in the attic. “That sounds like a great idea. How about I put Cassie in our room where there are definitely no monsters?”

“Oh, yay. Sounds like an adventure. Back to sleep, little ones. I will investigate.”

“Don’t die, Daddy!”

“Not a chance, sugarbutt,” Flynn called back.

“Daddy’s got this. Jasper, back to bed please. I’ll come check on you soon okay?”

“What’s in the?—”

“Jasper.” He gave his son the eyeball. “Bed.”

“Night!” Jasper ran for his bedroom.

“Daddy’s going to get eaten,” Cassie mumbled, face pressed into his neck.

“Nope. Daddy is an expert at this stuff. You wait and see. I’m not worried.” He sat on the end of their bed. “Now. Why is our bed magic?”

“No monsters.”

“Never. We have a monster proof bed. Go crawl under the covers.”

Cassie leapt for the pillows and burrowed under the blankets in a flash.

Okay. He needed gloves. A shovel. Maybe bug spray.

When he got to the garage, the ladder to the attic was down and all he could see were Flynn’s socks.

“Babe? What do you need? Do you have a flashlight? Is it racoons? God, I hope it’s not racoons. Be careful; they bite. You good?” Jesus. He took a breath. “Sorry. Adrenaline.”

“I hope it’s not raccoons. They’re big, and…” One foot came off the ladder. “Oh! Not raccoons! Squirrel! Big squirrel! Shoo, you motherfucker!”

He rolled his eyes. “Great. Is it just one? Is there a nest? Don’t let the asshole bite you.” It was rarely just one. And if there was only one, then it had friends that knew how to get in and out too.

“I don’t see a nest, but that doesn’t mean anything. Whoa! Whoa, back off. I have a water bottle, and I’m not afraid to use it, demon rodent!”

Demon . He snorted. “You tell him, babe! Squirt that nut stashing asshole.”

There was a crashing, then Flynn disappeared up into the attic, and about two seconds later the squirrel came flying out into the garage.

“Open the garage door, honey!” Flynn yelled, head and one arm hanging out of the attic, water bottle squirting wildly. “Hit the button!”

“Shit!” He dove for the button and smashed it, and the garage door creaked open slowly. The squirrel ran around the garage like a maniac at first but took off under the open door a second later. “Score!” he shouted, panting. “You okay?”

“I think so? I…yeah. I have dirt in…my everything’s.”

“Daddy the intrepid monster squirrel hunter needs a shower.” He watched Flynn climb back down the ladder. “Ew. You’re all wet too.”

“I—” Flynn turned to face him, and there were cobwebs everywhere. “Come give Daddy a hug!”

“Fuck no!” He scrambled backward, holding out one hand. “Nope. Be nice to me; that scream went in my left ear, and I may never hear out of it again.”

“I went to fight the monster, though…” Flynn was advancing, making smoochie noises, those pretty eyes dancing.

“You did. And you’re a stud. But you’re a filthy stud and I want nothing do to with you until after your shower.” When Flynn just kept coming he shouted, “I’ll totally blow you when you’re clean, so just stop!”

Flynn stopped, blinked, then started to laugh, his entire body shaking. “Kiren! The kids…”

He froze and held his breath, staring at the door to the garage and listening for feet or tears or small gasps—any sign that the kids were listening. He didn’t hear any. He looked back at Flynn who was doubled over trying to keep quiet.

“Fuck,” he half-whispered and started laughing too, leaning against Flynn’s workbench to steady himself. All of the tension kind of melted away with their laughter, and they were left exhausted, but giggling like fools.

“God, I love you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else on earth.” Flynn stripped off his filthy shirt, shaking it out a little.

“When I opened the closet door, Cass said ‘In case we die, I love you.’ Dead serious.” He chuckled. “Where does she get this stuff?”

“Her older brother. He was explaining that people who take the last cookie go to hell the other day.” Flynn rolled his eyes.

These kids. Every time he thought he’d caught up, they took another leap into something new. “So, what are we going to tell them? We have to get our story straight for Cassie.”

They headed into the house, Flynn stripping down to his briefs as they walked. “Well, I told him that one, scaring his sister was wrong, two, no one went to hell for taking the last cookie, and three, scaring his sister was wrong.”

“Perfect. But I was talking about the monster, goof. And don’t forget, she’s in our room. Should we just say, hey, it was a squirrel and studly Daddy scared it away?” They were going to have to call someone to figure out how it got in so there wouldn’t be more.

“Oh, yes. Honest is best. It was in the attic. It was just a scared squirrel. Daddy will call pest control in the morning, right?”

“Yes, please. Thank you, Daddy.” He made sure that came out just as suggestive as he meant it.

“Butthead. I’ll make sure the poor squirrels are safe.” Flynn stuck his tongue out at Kiren.

“You’re the best. Thank you.” He sure wouldn’t have gone up there. As the division of labor in the house went, if it needed cleaning or sorting or it was throwing up, that was his job. Busted appliances, critters, and anything involving the basement or the attic was Flynn’s. He didn’t do cobwebs and rodents.

“Can you put her in her room while I jump in the shower, honey?”

“Sure thing, babe.” He hurried ahead so he could move Cassie before Flynn got there. She was out cold and easy to pick up, except that she seemed to weigh three times as much when she was sleeping.

She made a little grunt of protest when he put her down and he kissed her forehead. “Sweet dreams, girlie. Love you.”

He didn’t get so much as a twitch in return and that was just fine with him.

On the way back he ducked into Jasper’s room and tucked him back in. He was doubled over like he’d crashed while waiting to see what they found in the attic.

Okay. Parents one, monsters zero.

Now, he owed a certain wet and brave husband a blowjob. Poor abused him.

He locked the bedroom door and headed into the bathroom.