The Alpha’s Bullied Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #1)

Chapter 25 - Mica

Mica grabbed a washcloth and dumped too much body wash onto it. She focused on the lather of suds, trying to pretend as though she wasn’t shaking all over. This wasn’t right. Hayden should be going into the challenge with full strength. Not healing from injuries like this. It didn’t matter if he was saying that she wasn’t to blame.

She was. He knew it. She knew it.

“I’ve allowed the demons to delay the challenge too long already,” Hayden said.

She glanced at his face. His eyes were closed, face lifted slightly toward the shower head. Was he deliberately not looking at her? Or was it just from how exhausted he was? His muscular body sagged somewhat, as though he was fighting not to lean against the side of the shower.

Mica wiped the dampness from her face and started washing his body. She could be strong for him. He was facing death; even though it made her chest ache to think about it, she couldn’t let herself break down. Not yet, at least. He was strong. The strongest person she’d ever known.

If anyone had a chance against a literal demon, it was Hayden.

When the blood was scrubbed from Hayden’s body, Mica inspected his injuries. They weren’t so bad, right? Little more than scrapes.

Hayden caught her scrutiny and turned her around. She yelped, heat shooting through her body. For a moment, she hoped he’d push her against the shower wall and take her from behind. But when he started to wash her, like she had done for him, she melted against him. His tenderness was just so intimate—even more intimate than fucking.

They slept entwined in each other’s arms, fully clothed.

Or at least, Hayden slept. Mica dozed off and on, fighting sleep. Every time she started to sink too deep, nightmares plagued her. So she didn’t let herself get too deep, worried that she would disturb Hayden’s sleep. She watched him sleep, struggling with herself.

This wasn’t what she signed up for.

But if she had known what would happen… well, she would make this choice anyway. Her heart ached at the thought of never having had these last three months with Hayden. Never knowing his kiss, never knowing his touch… it hurt her worse than she thought it could.

In the morning, when Hayden stirred, Mica tightened her hold on him. “Go back to sleep,” she murmured.

Hayden chuckled sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Too early.”

He carefully pulled away and grabbed the alarm clock. When he saw the time, he groaned. “I have work to do.”

Mica held him all the tighter. Her heart hammered hard as all the thoughts she’d been wrestling with bubbled to the surface. She didn’t know if it was smart or stupid if telling him would cause him to lose focus…

But Hayden deserved to know.

He couldn’t face Monroe without knowing he would be a father. And some part of her hoped that maybe if she told him…

“Mica, I have to—"

“Hayden.”

He fell silent, frowning at her.

Mica took a deep breath, bracing herself. “I’m pregnant.”

Hayden’s eyes widened. He pushed himself to a sitting position. “What?”

Was he happy? He didn’t look happy. Mica felt herself hunching inward and forced herself to square her shoulders. “I’m pregnant, Hayden. With your baby.”

“Are you sure?”

“I took a pregnancy test. Then, I destroyed it because I didn’t want anyone to know. But you’re not anyone; you’re the father and… and I needed to tell you.” Mica sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself to stop babbling. “I found out yesterday. The demon that was possessing my mother said something. Tess and Elin heard, but I told them I wasn’t.”

Hayden smoothed her shirt, his hand lingering on her stomach. “You’re absolutely certain?”

Mica searched his face, not answering.

His expression was caught in some sort of intermediary look; she wasn’t sure what he was feeling. One moment, it looked as though he was about to smile, then the next, his eyebrows drew closer together. Emotion warred in his eyes.

“Are you upset?” she blurted.

“Upset?” Hayden pulled her closer and nuzzled into her neck. “Never. We’re going to be parents, and that’s a good thing.”

“But with the challenge…”

Hayden smoothed her hair back behind her ear. “Yes, I know. Being pregnant puts you in a more vulnerable position. You were right to tell Tess and Elin that you weren’t pregnant. We’ll keep it a secret for now.”

“Tess said that if the pack knew, it would give them hope,” Mica said reluctantly.

“Yes… for those who are truly on our side. I don’t trust everyone living with us is on our side. Demons are clever. They might have sent non-possessed wolves through to have inside information on us.” Hayden sighed. “It’s likely, even. Otherwise, how did Monroe learn about Ryder?”

Mica winced. She hadn’t even considered that. But it was true. How could Monroe have learned about Ryder unless someone told him? A shudder ran down her spine.

“It’s alright,” Hayden said soothingly. “He can’t know about this.”

“Unless he does,” Mica argued. “He could already know. The demon possessing my mother did. So, how do we know that Monroe doesn’t already know? What if he has someone come after me here?”

A fresh chill washed over her, causing goosebumps to rise along her arms. Her scalp prickled, and her chest tightened. Now that she considered that possibility, it was swiftly followed by a stark truth staring her in the eye. If someone did come for her, there wasn’t much she could do.

As a human in a pack of shifters, she had little recourse for self-defense. She’d have to have a gun in hand at all times, and she didn’t have access to that sort of weapon. Even then, a shifter could easily tear out her throat before she knew what was happening. She was defenseless. And worse, there was nothing she could do to protect her baby, now or in the future.

Hayden pulled her close into the fiery heat of his body. “Mica, Mica,” he crooned. “It’s alright. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

“You can’t know that.” As much as she wished he was strong enough to keep every threat far from her, Hayden was only one person. He couldn’t be at her side at all times, and he had to take care of his pack responsibly as well. “We can’t let anyone know that you know, either. If Monroe knows I’m pregnant, he’ll want to wait to come after me until he knows that you know. So it will hurt more.”

“Mica.” He cupped her face in his hands and tilted her toward him. “I will keep you safe. Nothing is going to happen to you or our baby. I swear.”

“Hayden—”

“Shhh.” He stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones. “I know that things have been difficult. I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I should have. That changes, Mica. I will earn your trust; I promise you that. You will be safe with me. Always.”

He kissed her sweetly. The softness of his lips brought her in closer. With such a simple touch, it seemed as though her worries melted away. He teased her lips open, exploring her lightly. His hands roamed over her form. Though he’d touched her like this before, it felt… more . More intense. More tender. Just more of everything.

It couldn’t last, though. Hayden drew back. When he smiled at her, it was meant to be reassuring. But it wasn’t.

As he slipped from the bed, Mica had the awful feeling that this was the last time they’d ever be in the same room together. Emotions flooded through her. She didn’t care if he didn’t love her the way she loved him—

She loved him.

And at this point, she couldn’t imagine her life without him.

“Run away with me,” she blurted.

Hayden grabbed a shirt out from his dresser. “What?”

“Run away with me. Leave Bluebell Valley. Leave the pack. Let’s go. Let’s leave this place, and these people and just be you and me and our baby,” Mica begged. “Just let the demons have the territory. What difference is it to us if we can raise our child somewhere else, somewhere safe?”

Hayden stepped back from her. Disappointment flooded his expression. “Run away? Like a coward?”

“Yes!”

He grabbed out a shirt and yanked it over his head. The hard planes of his muscles disappeared beneath the fabric. But his voice was stern as he spoke. “I don’t know why you’d suggest something so ridiculous.”

“You told me that if it looked like you were going to lose the challenge, I should jump in a car and run,” Mica reminded him.

He pulled on his pants and zipped them. “I was only saying that to make sure you wouldn’t do something stupid, like try to jump into the fight. You aren’t a coward, Mica, and neither am I. We can’t leave, either of us.”

Tears burned her eyes. “You’re wrong about that. I am a coward. I’ve always been a coward, and I’m even more so now than I’ve ever been.”

“Mica—”

“No!” she jumped out of the bed and shook her head. Her tangled hair, knotted from going to bed with it wet, flew about her. “You can’t say I’m not a coward. I am! Otherwise, I’d never be your mate!”