The Archer & the Flame (Whispers of the Night Ravens #1)

Chapter 19

“What’s going on?” I asked, looking to Silas for reassurance, but he had none to offer me.

His face had gone white, his boots catching on the uneven ground as he paced nervously. He couldn’t look at me. “I haven’t been entirely truthful with you about who I am.”

What was he talking about? He’d already revealed his position, back when we’d first crossed into Threstia. “You’re a bloodline heir from Eirel.”

He wrung his hands, taking a deep breath. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll blurt it out. I’m not just a bloodline heir; I’m the Lord of Eirel.”

He was... what?

It made no sense. Silas, one of the rulers of Idrix? Ash coated his face, his clothes torn and filthy. Anyone would’ve passed him without sparing him a second glance.

“No. You can’t be. You’ve spent the past two weeks gathering firewood and sleeping outside,” I said.

He leant against the boulder, never taking his eyes off me. Their emerald depths shone with an unexpected vulnerability. “I’m afraid I am. It was never meant to be me. My brother was raised to be lord, and I was the spare. Then he died and my life changed in an instant.”

“But we’ve travelled the length of Idrix. No one recognised you.” Surely, someone would have approached us?

“Why would they? I’ve never left Eirel’s borders and the common fae don’t know my face. It’s long been Eirel’s strategy. Reality can’t measure up to someone’s imagination, and you can’t prepare to face an enemy if you don’t know them. Intimidation tactics at their finest.”

My mouth went dry in a way that had nothing to do with the ash still lingering in the air. Blood roared in my ears. “You tricked me.”

The fae I’d gotten to know during our quest, the one I’d developed feelings for didn’t exist. Did I even know him at all?

Silas took a step towards me, resting a hand on my arm. “It’s not like that. Please let me explain.”

Shrugging off his touch, I spoke, my voice quiet and laced with venom. “Was any of it real? Or was this all just an experiment for you? A pleasant break from the pressures of ruling where you could dress up in your plain clothes and sleep on your little bedroll, and see the realm.”

“Of course it was real. It wasn’t like that.” Tears danced in his eyes, but it did nothing to soothe the bite of his betrayal.

“How? You’re a lord . You could have done something about this rotten place this whole time. Thrown resources at the curse, sheltered the vulnerable who needed your help, protected your subjects from harm. Yet you’ve been playing the charming adventurer without a care in the world. I can’t look at you.” The realisation hit me like a rock slamming into my chest. “You’re just like the rest of them.”

And I’d fallen for it yet again.

“Listen to me, please. That’s not what happened. I had to escape. They were going to kill me.” He was desperate, pleading with me like his life depended on it. “I’ll tell you everything, if you just let me.”

It was too late. “You could’ve told me. You had the perfect opportunity to explain when I found out you were a bloodline heir. Yet you still didn’t.”

“You were recovering from confronting those nobles. I wasn’t sure how you’d handle the truth.”

“You never gave me a chance.” Maybe I could’ve understood back then. But too much had happened since. I’d let him in, opening up to him and leaving my heart exposed.

“And do what?” Silas raised his voice. “Drag you into my mess? I couldn’t do that to you. I needed some time to get my head straight and think of a plan. Unfortunately, that time has run out. There’s no chance my enemies won’t have witnessed this and known it was my doing.”

“I wish you would have.” I gazed out across the hostile landscape, watching smoke rise from the volcano in the distance and billow out into the sky, mirroring the inner turmoil I felt.

His voice softened. “I’ve never felt like this before. Don’t let this ruin what we’ve built.”

“Don’t you see? I would have ripped out my own heart and given it to you willingly, but now I don’t know if you’d treasure it or burn it to ashes. I trusted you and this whole time you’ve hidden everything from me.”

Silas’ features hardened. “How can you say that to me? You talk of trust, but when have you ever trusted me? You’ve told me next to nothing about why we’re here. And don’t try to tell me we’re helping your injured friend. I saw you stealing those documents. What’s the big secret? After everything we’ve shared, don’t I deserve to know?”

I was momentarily stunned, my haze of frustration clearing. “It’s complicated.”

“And you have the gall to bite my head off for hiding my background. Didn’t you think for one moment that if you’d confided in me, I might have been able to help? We’ve both held onto our secrets for too long.”

My shoulders slumped. Perhaps he was right. It was like he’d thrown water over me, my anger no longer burning so much with the shock.

He was the Lord of Eirel, possessing the power and influence to make a better Idrix, one where the Blessed fae didn’t hold their superiority over everyone else, one where a stranger wasn’t more likely to trick you than offer help, one where the curse wasn’t stealing our hope for the future. Instead, he’d deserted his subjects, trailing after me instead.

But this was Silas, not a stranger. He was kind, loyal to a fault, and supported me through everything, asking for nothing in return. He wouldn’t abandon Eirel without a good reason. And hadn’t he explained the difficulties he faced when I’d pressed him? I just hadn’t known back then that he faced them as Eirel’s lord.

It would be a long road to trusting him again, and he owed me an explanation, but there was no denying the fact I owed him one too.

“When we made our bargain, I was telling you the truth. I’m doing something important, but I can’t tell you what. I’m bound by another bargain. It prevents me from telling anyone.”

He was sceptical, but I could see his brain working, sifting his way through the words. “Can’t you work around it?”

“No, you don’t understand. This isn’t a simple bargain, with one term. It’s complex, the terms twisted together and difficult to decipher. A precaution in case I was ever caught.” It was the price to pay for being a scout.

“Please, there must be something you can tell me.” Exasperation clouded his face.

I released a deep breath, thinking. The bargain protected the Night Ravens, keeping its secrets in case we were captured, or worse. If I focused on myself, maybe I could share something.

“I find information where others cannot. Information that helps those far more intelligent than I am to uncover answers.” I considered him. If only I could make him understand why I had to do this. “I told you before, I’m fighting against the curse. This is how.”

I thought he’d understand; the curse had taken so much from him too. But Silas’ eyes narrowed at me. “And whose secrets are you selling?”

“What?”

He staggered backwards from me. “I’ve been such a fool. Is this why you wanted to travel together? You knew I was noble. All this time, you’ve been stringing me along while you learn all my secrets?”

“What? No!” I hadn’t considered how it would look, binding him to me once I’d uncovered his position, pestering him with questions about how the nobility worked. “Silas, listen to me. The only reason I wanted to travel together was because I thought you could help. I’m completely out of my depth here. I can’t do this without you.”

“Then tell me what’s going on! Because I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

“I can’t. There’s only one way I can tell you. You would have to be bound by that same bargain, and you can’t. It’s a lifelong commitment.”

“What if I walk away now?” He sounded just as defeated as I felt.

A numb feeling spread through me. It had been inevitable. From the moment we’d set out on our journey, it had been doomed to end. I just hadn’t realised it would cut me so deep.

“You’ll never see me again.” It was the only way. A clean break, no more distractions. My work would only become more challenging, more dangerous from this point onwards. Having someone I cared about outside the Night Ravens was a weakness ripe for exploitation, especially when that someone was a ruler, his world the opposite of mine.

He sucked in a breath, a deep frown etched into his face.

Something broke in me at that, leaving behind a void that could never be filled. I’d always known I wouldn’t be enough for him.

“I need space. I’m going for a walk.” Silas said, swinging his pack over his shoulder.

“But you just told me we’re in danger,” I said.

He stared me down, his eyes burning with an intensity that made the argument die in my throat. “I don’t give a fuck. Let them come for me. I could do with letting off some steam.”

He didn’t look back once as he walked away, hopping over the narrow stream of cooling lava. There was a finality to the moment, despite his words, and I feared that would be the last I saw of him.

And I could only blame myself.

Silas had shown me exactly who he was. He fought for me, putting his life on the line without a moment’s hesitation. And what had I done? Pushed him away when he’d bared his soul to me.

Even as a tear slid down my face, I didn’t stop him. I wanted to beg him to stay, urge him to give us a chance. But I bit my tongue until he’d disappeared from my line of sight.

The sting of his absence was like ice in my veins.

Ithan’s betrayal had paled in comparison to the anguish I felt as Silas walked away from me. My heart had already been scarred by then, part of me still closed off.

With Silas it had healed, allowing me to dream of more.

There had only been one moment that compared to this agony. The day I’d lost everything.

It had been a sweltering day, the sand against my feet hot enough to burn, but my quick footsteps hadn’t lingered. The unbearable heat of the afternoon had forced the islanders to abandon all labour and seek refuge in the shade, as they often did during the summer months, only surfacing when relieved of the sun’s presence. If I had been sensible, I would have joined them. But a head start had been too irresistible to pass up.

Everyone had agreed that I deserved the honour of first hunter. I was a natural with a bow, and no one had come close to my success rate. I’d even taken down a bear that threatened a neighbouring settlement. But the position wouldn’t have been mine until I’d emerged victorious from the great hunt, and there had been no rules about when the competition would start.

I had been climbing a tree in the forest, hoping to use its cover to mask my presence from the wildlife, when a voice had called out to me.

“Going somewhere?”

I’d slithered down the trunk, facing Aster with a frown. My younger sister had grinned back at me, unrepentant.

“You should be sheltering from the sun,” I had said.

“So, should you. But since we’re both out here, can I watch?”

Her excitement had been too adorable to turn down. “Fine. But if you scare off my prey, I’m sending you home.”

We’d straddled the branches of the tree as we waited. My gaze had been fixed on the forest’s undergrowth, my bow drawn and ready as I’d watched the rustling leaves of a bush intently.

“Willow,” Aster had said just as I’d released an arrow, the rodent scurrying away when I’d missed it by a large margin.

“What did I tell you?”

But she’d stood, holding onto the tree trunk as she faced the water.

“The sea. It’s gone.”

I’d been sure I’d misheard. I’d joined her, gazing out across the horizon.

But she had been right. The tide had withdrawn from where it had been moments before, revealing the ocean floor underneath. The sea was only a small line in the distance.

“Have you seen anything like it before?”

“No.” I had masked my shock, keeping my voice steady, not wanting to panic her. “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this. Let’s head back to the village.”

But Aster had still been watching the water, her mouth hanging open. “Look!”

The sea had started to return to the shore, but it was fast. Too fast.

There wasn’t time to warn anyone.

The wave had speeded towards the island, growing greater in height as it surged in our direction. I had pressed my back against the trunk, climbing to Aster’s side.

“Listen to me very carefully. I need you to hold on to me tightly and not let go. No matter what you see or hear, you must not let go.”

“What’s happening?”

The wave had become as tall as the treetops.

“I love you. I will always love you.” I had hooked my arm around the tree, pressing her body against mine. Her tiny arms had hugged me as I pressed a kiss to her head.

When it hit, the wave hadn’t felt like water. It had been unforgiving, like being thrown against a rock, ripping us from the trunk effortlessly. I had clung to Aster with an iron grip. I had known then that I wouldn’t make it, with my body flung around in the chaos and water seeping into my lungs, but I would do anything to make sure she did.

Something solid had collided with my back, perhaps a tree, or part of someone’s home. It had been impossible to tell with my eyes tightly shut. All that mattered was that it had forced my arms open, ripping Aster away from me. I had frantically reached for her, managing to grab her hand.

I had held on with every fibre of my being. Don’t let go , I had screamed in my head. But, as the sea had continued to batter us, and black tinged my vision, her grip had loosened and she'd been stolen from me forever. The last thing I’d seen was her wide eyes, full of fear.

I’d failed her. Aster had relied on me to protect her, and now she was gone.

I had welcomed the darkness when it had finally claimed me.

I thought I’d known loss then. But watching Silas leave me after finding out the truth, rejecting everything I was when I’d just regained my hope, that caused a wound so deep I doubted I would ever recover.

Please come back. The whisper was carried away by the wind, a distant plea never to be heard by the one it was intended for.