The Art of Apology (Happiness in Marriage)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

R eturning to Longbourn, Elizabeth found that—try as she might—she could not put the unexpected encounter with Mr Darcy from her thoughts. It was unbearable that her reflections were lasting so much longer than the meeting itself had! Why could she not set it—him—aside once and for all?

“I shall say this for him,” she muttered to herself, “he is one of the more interesting characters I have met. Unfortunately, for both of us, it is not in a good way. What in his life led him to become so arrogant and aggravating that I want to shake him?” Maybe if his brain was rattled sufficiently, it would give him some sense.

Elizabeth had always had a dislike for perfunctory apologies as she believed Mr Darcy’s had been. As she had told him in the churchyard, an apology ought to be heartfelt, or it was as worthless as asking someone how they were and walking away without waiting for their response .

“Do I want him to know me well enough to genuinely regret what he said at the assembly?” For Mr Darcy to give her an expression of regret that would truly satisfy her, they would have to become far more familiar with each other, which meant spending time together, and that she had no interest in—and she was certain he did not either.

And yet…she could not deny she thought of him often, and the snippets of conversation she had overheard him having with various people at Lane Park had suggested he could be interesting—when he extended himself.

With great effort, Elizabeth was able to put him from her thoughts. It was a very good thing he appeared to be trying to be civil, but they had better avoid each other for however long he remained at Netherfield. It meant he would never sincerely apologise, but she did not care.

Later that day, she was in the parlour with her parents and sisters. They were again discussing the recent news that a regiment of the militia would soon settle in the neighbourhood.

“I shall not have you girls chasing after the soldiers,” Mr Bennet said after her mother’s enthusiastic assertions that Elizabeth and her sisters would find having the regiment there extremely diverting.

“Oh, but Mr Bennet, there can be no harm in it,” Mrs Bennet said.

“By ‘it’ I suppose you mean flirting and throwing themselves at men?” he interjected.

“They will like us above all the other girls in the neighbourhood. What fun we shall have!” Lydia exclaimed before joining Kitty in giggling gleefully.

Mary, sitting beside Elizabeth, sighed and regarded the pair with her lips pursed in disapproval.

“And bring shame to us all? I think not,” her father said. “Mr Darcy has opened my eyes. If he could look at Lizzy and say such disparaging things, I can?—”

“You cannot still be going on about that disagreeable man!” her mother exclaimed. “And I would have you stop speaking as though Lizzy is better than her sisters.”

“Lizzy’s comportment is undeniably more admirable, and that is what concerns me at the moment.” Mr Bennet briefly regarded Jane. “I cannot fault your manners either, my dear.”

Jane offered him a smile; she otherwise looked upon her sisters and mother with sympathy.

“No soldier will enter this house,” Mr Bennet stated firmly.

This, naturally, resulted in more complaints from her mother. He listened for a moment, shaking his head as she spoke, eventually saying, “It is enough that I allowed you to invite our esteemed”—this was said in a mocking tone—“new neighbours. I am resolved. We cannot avoid meeting the officers, I suppose, but we shall not befriend them—not until I am assured our daughters can behave appropriately in their company.”

He pushed himself out of his chair and left the room, seemingly having had enough of Mrs Bennet, Kitty, and Lydia’s whining. Elizabeth followed him to his book-room.

“Ah, Lizzy, did you have a particular reason to accompany me, or was it just an understandable desire to escape the company in the parlour?” her father said as he made himself comfortable in his customary place behind the desk.

Elizabeth sat across from him. “Both, I suppose. I did want to talk to you about something. I agree that Lydia and Kitty must be more closely watched, and for that, I was glad for what you said, but can you not trust Jane and me, Mary too? What have we done that you feel we would run after gentlemen just because they are handsome or are wearing uniforms?”

“Have you forgotten what happened at the assembly?” He arched a bushy eyebrow.

“I can hardly do that when everyone is intent on reminding me. Besides, I did nothing wrong that night.”

He shrugged. “Mr Darcy has proved useful as a reminder that we cannot be too careful when admitting new people into our circle.” His voice lowered, he continued; Elizabeth was not sure she was meant to hear his next words. “Frankly, I wish Mr Bingley had not taken the estate. An elderly couple with no young gentlemen as relations would have been preferable.”

“Papa…”

Meeting her eyes, he said, “How am I supposed to know which gentlemen I can trust with you girls, especially when they are so wholly unknown to us? Mr Bingley appears amiable enough, but I might be mistaken. Perhaps it is all a disguise and he is as much a reprobate as any other young man about London.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Be reasonable. Would you have my sisters and I remain unwed? Mr Bingley is amiable, even if his taste in friends is dreadful. I cannot say much good about his family either. If he chooses his wife carefully, she will help him learn more discernment.”

“We need not depend on the Mr Bingleys of the world to provide husbands for your sisters or you. There are other men. Young Best, for example. He likes you, and I have known him all his life, and his father since we were boys.”

Elizabeth gaped at him; a wave of nausea passed through her. “You are not serious! I appreciate that you are concerned about the sorts of gentlemen we might meet, and I agree it is wise to be cautious, but there is no need for extreme measures. You have laughed at his infatuation yourself and claimed you would never give your consent to a match between us—not that I would ask it of you. Just because Mr Darcy does not like my looks or, I dare say, anything else about me, there is no reason to change all your previous views on Mr Best. Do you recall why you object to him? He did not go to university, he is far from the most intelligent man, and he is immature.”

Her father ran his hands roughly over his face, only speaking after a pause. “I have lately been rather painfully forced to acknowledge that I have not been the father you girls deserve. I have left too much to your mother, and as much as I respect her, I do not believe she is as…capable as she needs to be.”

This was an astonishing statement, though upon reflection—and given her father’s recent behaviour—she should not be surprised. “That is why you have begun attending social engagements with us and spending more time in the parlour?”

He nodded, but before he could speak, she continued, not wanting to miss her opportunity to give her opinion on Mr Best. She mentioned his name, saying, “I wish you would talk to him and his parents and discourage any hopes where I am concerned. I know you have hinted as much to his father before, but it is time to ensure they understand and accept my decision.”

Mr Bennet made a noise of surprise. “Why now? What has brought this on?”

“I have grown fatigued of him following me around, acting as though we… like each other or, worse, might be on the point of an understanding.” She felt the heat building in her cheeks and ears and hoped it was not visible.

“Very well. Despite what I said a moment ago, I would not want you to marry him.” He sounded begrudging, but she was satisfied he would do as she had requested. “It is unlikely you would be happy with him. Well, Lizzy, that is two gentlemen you wish to avoid—or should wish to.” He regarded her over the rim of his spectacles and said, “Mr Darcy.”

She rolled her eyes; she had not needed him to specify whom he referred to. Telling him of Mr Best’s allusion to the events at the assembly, she said, “It is reminders such as that which mean I shall never forget what sort of man Mr Darcy is. Why would I want anything to do with him? Why would any of us? Jane will be kind to him because he is Mr Bingley’s friend, I suppose. ”

“You have not talked to him again? He has not approached you?”

Elizabeth shook her head and, briefly, averted her eyes. Why was she unable to say that she had seen the man just that morning? Was it because she knew it would upset her father? Or perhaps because he would repeat his demand that she never speak to him. I wonder what Mr Darcy would have said had I been willing to listen. She reminded herself to be careful; curiosity could be dangerous when not employed wisely.

“Good. While you are avoiding him, you can spend more time with your younger sisters. I shall talk to Jane about it too. I would appreciate you imparting some of your…” He gestured vaguely with his hands, unable or unwilling to say what would likely sound disparaging. “Did you know that neither Kitty nor Lydia speaks more than a few words of French? You are better at the language than Jane is, so you might work with them on it. I suspect if I tried, it would only end in tears—my own as much as theirs.” He tapped his chin, and more to himself than for her ears, he added, “And I must make sure they are reading those books I gave them.”

Unfortunately, she expected his resolution to do better by his children would not last longer than a week or two, but until then, she would attempt to do what he requested and hope she was mistaken. “Is there something in particular you would like me to do with Mary?”

“It might be too much to expect you to cure her of her fondness for ponderous tomes—that is a job for me—but you are the only other girl who plays the pianoforte. Teach her livelier pieces or ones she can play without sounding so…deliberate. You should not be able to hear the strain the musician is expending. It robs a performance of any enjoyment it might have held.”

They sat in silence for a moment, him wearing an expression of deep contemplation. Soon, she slipped out of the room, leaving him to his thoughts.