The Art of Apology (Happiness in Marriage)

Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

A s Darcy dressed for the ball, he resolved not to hold any expectations of what the night would bring. He had dreamt of dancing with Elizabeth, how he might talk to her whenever possible throughout the evening, how she would laugh and smile at him, and he would drink in her loveliness, impressing everything about her onto his memory. It would sustain him when they were separated. He had determined that he would be wiser not to imagine speaking to her of wishing to deepen their connexion.

Or would he? He needed to return to London soon, but how much should he say to Elizabeth and her father of his growing affection for her before he left? Need he say anything at all, given Bingley’s residence in the neighbourhood, which gave Darcy an excuse to return and see the Bennets? It was also probable he would encounter them as Mr Bennet and his cousin Frederick rebuilt their friendship. Surely, he would know what to say and when, if he stopped thinking about it so much and letting his anxiety grow. The easier he was, the less likely he would be to misspeak or struggle to find the right words.

He went downstairs to wait for the guests with Bingley, his family, and the friends from town who had made the trip to attend the ball. Shortly before the first carriages arrived, Miss Bingley pulled him aside.

“Do you approve?” she asked him, peeking up at him through her lashes.

He wondered what exactly she meant—the friends they had invited, the decorations about the house, her attire, the dinner they had enjoyed earlier? “I am anticipating an agreeable evening.”

She giggled and playfully slapped his arm. “It is unlike you to joke, sir, but I appreciate your attempting to rid me of my nerves.”

“I do not take your meaning.” He looked over his shoulder to Bingley, hoping to catch his attention and signal that he needed his assistance. But he was occupied with some of the gentlemen.

“I know you dislike both dancing and large parties,” she said. “It is good of you not to complain. I would have been happy not to go to all the bother, but Charles had his heart set on a ball, and I am sure I have done my best. He will be happy, at least.” She sighed, and he wanted to as well; he had heard her say the same thing countless times. “I hope he agrees to return to town soon. The Festive Season will be upon us before we know it, and I should like to spend it there, amongst my friends. Besides, I worry that he is spending too much time with a certain lady. ”

“Miss Bennet?”

She dipped her chin in agreement.

“I regret you do not approve. I had thought you liked her.”

“I like her, but that does not mean I consider her an appropriate wife for him.”

This also was not news to Darcy, but unsure how else to respond, he said, “I am afraid we shall have to disagree on that point. If you will excuse me.” Darcy stepped away, forcing her to either relinquish his arm or draw attention to her unwillingness to do so. She chose the former, and he went to stand with Bingley.

Before long, there was a steady stream of people entering the house. Darcy kept an eye out for the Bennets and was quick to greet them.

“Oh, Mr Darcy,” the matron said. “It is very good to see you. My goodness, Netherfield does look quite the thing, does it not? So many flowers. Mary, you like flowers. Have you seen those white ones? What are they?”

Mrs Bennet took Miss Mary’s hand and pulled her towards the blossoms she was curious about. Darcy and Elizabeth exchanged smiles; seeing her left him feeling light, free from worry, and confident that this evening would be one he looked back on with especial fondness for the rest of his life. Bingley came and took Miss Bennet away; he said something about introducing her to his friends that Darcy only half heard.

“Kitty and I are going to see which of the officers are here,” Miss Lydia said. “We do not want to stand about like this. It is too?—”

“Lydia,” Mr Bennet interjected. The young lady immediately fell silent, though it looked like she was struggling not to speak. “Kitty, you may take your sister to speak to Charlotte and Maria. They are by the window.” He pointed in the direction he meant. “I remind you both that if you do not behave with decorum, I shall take you home at once.”

“Yes, Papa,” Miss Catherine murmured, looking abashed.

Mr Bennet, Elizabeth, and he watched the pair go, and the older gentleman sighed. “Tell me it will be easier with time, Lizzy. Even at your worst, you were never as headstrong as Lydia is.”

“Papa! What a thing to say.” Elizabeth laughed, giving Darcy yet another reason to value her. Few ladies would treat such a statement with good humour. “You would not want to make Mr Darcy think ill of me, would you?”

Mr Bennet glanced from one of them to the other and back again. He then pinched her cheek, said, “As if anything could,” and left them alone.

“Your father has an…interesting sense of humour,” Darcy said. He would like to ask the meaning behind Mr Bennet’s last remark, but he did not know how. If he had to guess, it seemed like the gentleman recognised that Darcy’s interest in his daughter was changing, which led to another question: How did he—and more importantly she —feel about it? He thought she liked him, but might her sentiments be more than those of friendship?

Once again, Elizabeth laughed. He was growing to love the airy, musical sound she made when she was truly amused or happy. Who was he deceiving? He already did.

“I suppose for someone who is not accustomed to it, it might take getting used to. I know some people are unable to tell when he is teasing or is slyly hiding an insult or criticism in his words despite the length of the connexion. I assure you he was teasing. I believe he finds it amusing that we disliked each other so greatly and hardly a month later, we are…”

She blushed, and he assumed it was because she did not know how to describe what they were to each other. He rejoiced at this sign that she thought well of him and might also believe that ‘friend’ was too weak a descriptor but ‘lovers’ was too much. For which I have only myself to blame. If I had acted as a gentleman should last month, we might now be as close as Bingley and Miss Bennet are. There was not a doubt remaining, not even a tiny speck. Any pretensions he had once held about the sort of lady he would make his wife—that she would be titled and rich, as his mother was—had been tossed on the rubbish heap. He wanted to marry for affection and friendship and mutual comfort, and he knew with absolute conviction that he and Elizabeth could share the deepest love and happiest of marriages. He only prayed she also believed it, or that he would be able to convince her to see their future the way he did.

To alleviate the awkwardness of the last few minutes, he said, “Friends. I hope you consider me one, at least.”

Their eyes met, and, slowly, a beautiful smile overtook her expression. Hardly more than whispering, she said, “I do.” The colour in her cheeks became darker, and she averted her gaze.

“Well, my friend,” he said, “shall I introduce you to the guests who came from town? They are chiefly ladies and gentlemen Bingley knows well, but I am acquainted with them all, and they are pleasant.”

She agreed, and when he held out his arm to her, she readily accepted it. From then until the first set formed, they remained with others, including some of the local residents such as the Miss Lucases, or spoke to a few of the officers who were there. Wickham was not amongst them, naturally, and the Best family had also been excluded. After Mrs Best insulted the Bennets publicly, they had found themselves unwelcome by many, including Bingley.

The first set passed so quickly that Darcy almost did not believe it when the end came. It was remarkable for him, given how little he liked dancing. However, as he was learning, many situations were notably different—and always for the better—when he was with Elizabeth. They had explored several subjects, mostly diversions. She wanted to know how he liked to pass his time when he was in London and at his estate. In turn, she shared more about what she was used to doing in various seasons in Hertfordshire and places she had been in town when visiting her aunt and uncle.

Darcy acknowledged that he could not keep her by his side throughout the night. It would be unseemly; she was asked to dance by other gentlemen, and he had responsibilities to other ladies. Whereas previously he might only have asked Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst to dance, tonight he stood up with others, including all of Elizabeth’s sisters and Miss Lucas. He attempted to approach Miss Maria, although he had seldom spoken to her, but he knew the Lucases and Bennets were intimate friends. However, she ran away from him, and when he mentioned it to Elizabeth, she assured him it was only because the young lady was exceedingly shy. This conversation took place during one of the intervals, and it resulted in him telling her more about Georgiana, who also was excessively reserved amongst strangers.

Just before the supper set, for which they were both engaged with other partners, he asked whether she would dance with him again later in the evening.

“I would like that very much,” she said. As had happened earlier, they spent a brief moment simply looking at each other and smiling. In Darcy’s opinion, it had been an extraordinary evening already, and the remainder of it promised more delightful moments for him to recollect when they were parted. He was silently drawing plans for the coming months, notably ones that would keep their separation brief.

An image of her father suddenly came to mind. “I wonder whether we should ask your father?”

She furrowed her brow and said, “I do not think it is necessary, but if you would prefer to, we can.” She did a half-hearted survey of the crowded room before continuing. “I do not know where he is, but if you were to join us at supper, you might ask him then. He has insisted that my family sit together.”

Darcy did his best not to grin or exclaim aloud at her suggestion. He supposed they should take supper with the people they would attend during the forthcoming set, but he was willing to make an exception to be with her. His partner was the sister of an acquaintance; she was engaged to another of Bingley’s friends and was unlikely to object to him leaving her with her brother and betrothed. As for Elizabeth, she would be escorted by one of the young Mr Lucases, and her demeanour told Darcy that he would not care that she sat with her family rather than him. Thus, satisfied that no one would be insulted, he agreed.