The Bratva’s Auctioned Bride (Levov Bratva #10)

Chapter 12 - Lara

I wanted to believe that sleeping with Alex had cured every issue we had and that it was a step in the right direction, but as he left me alone in the house, I couldn’t ignore how false that truly was.

Alone with my thoughts while he went to work as usual, it was impossible to forget the disparity in our individual situations. For him, the only thing that changed was him gaining a wife and an extra body staying in his home. His life was otherwise unaffected. But for me, everything was different.

I felt like a prisoner in the house. While I was able to roam around as I pleased—still monitored by the guards he kept outside, of course—I didn’t have the same choices I used to. My usual freedoms were gone, I was cut off from my family, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

After getting up and eating something, I roamed the house for a while and studied my surroundings a bit closer.

The house was nice. While it wasn’t exactly on the same level as what my family owned, it was still big and full of luxury furniture and other goods.

I moved from room to room, feeling as if I was getting a different read on Alex through his belongings and whatever he decided to bring into his home. It came as no surprise that he had money and could do as he pleased, yet it didn’t feel cold and empty like most modern, expensive builds.

Despite having few personal touches when it came to decor and room arrangements, especially in the less important ones, it was still homey in a way. The small details reminded me that while he could seem aloof and indifferent to most things, he was still a person with a life and previous experiences I would never fully know or understand.

From the framed photos of him and his brothers in the living room, some featuring pets, to the messages written out in magnets on the side of the stainless-steel fridge—likely from his siblings—and even the carefully curated vinyl collection next to the record player, they were all signs of someone who had thoughts, feelings, and opinions beyond his work. Beyond the image I had of him in my mind.

A part of me didn’t want to acknowledge the human in him, since I knew that would only make it more difficult for me to hate him. It felt like a double-edged sword.

On one hand, something in me wanted to shut those thoughts off so that I could continue seeing him as a cruel, entitled man. I wanted to think he had no depth and did everything for his own selfish reasons.

Yet, on the other, something in me was holding out hope that things weren’t so simple. I was craving a sense of vulnerability from him—the human part that had genuine thoughts and desires.

While signs of that existed in the house as I tried to distract myself by taking everything in, absent-mindedly coming up with unconfirmed scenarios of what his life had been like in my head, the whole thing was still difficult for me to accept. Even as I sifted through his record collection before drifting to the full bookcase and browsing through it, I couldn’t ignore the inner conflict I was forced to face regardless of how much I didn’t want to.

It didn’t matter where I went in the house or what I tried to occupy my thoughts with, since my mind kept shifting back to the nagging feeling in my chest.

There was no doubting how attractive I found him, or how we acted on our impulses and slept together after our hasty wedding. Even if I hated him and was repulsed and embarrassed by how he forced me into such a ridiculous situation, I still couldn’t shake how badly I wanted him. It was infuriating.

While I wanted to think that things could be better for us, given the surprising passion and feeling that accompanied our lovemaking, I wasn’t going to move forward unguarded. My defenses were up, and I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of thinking I would simply lie back and take it.

I missed my family, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to see them again. That was enough reason for me to still hold on to my resistance, along with the fact that I was still trapped in the house and had limited free will. Even if I couldn’t completely steel myself from how much I was drawn to him, I would still try my hardest to advocate for myself and find some sort of solution to it all.

The day seemed to drag on as I meandered around, eventually taking a nap to pass the time. Once the front door opened and Alex walked inside, I was waiting on the sofa, bored out of my mind.

The gentle padding of his shoes against the floor reached me as I looked up to find him popping open the cuffs of his button-down, rolling the sleeves up. He gave me a somewhat smug smile.

“Wife,” he said simply, seeming far too cool about it all.

My eyes narrowed slightly. “Alexander.”

The corner of his lip flickered upward at that. “Full name, hm? Come on now. You won’t say it back?”

I scoffed. “Why would I?”

“Do I need to spell it out?” he questioned, tone light and vaguely teasing.

There was something especially irritating about how relaxed he seemed despite the major decision and life change he put us both through over the weekend. I couldn’t understand how he could be so nonchalant about it still—how he could seem so unbothered when it felt like my world had been turned upside down in such a short amount of time.

“Legally, we both know it’s true,” Alex continued, leaning casually against the back of the couch across from me. “Why fight it?”

I couldn’t tell where his effortless teasing was coming from, whether he really did feel that entitled, or if he assumed everything was peachy between us just because we had sex and slept in the same bed.

Regardless, it got under my skin.

“Just because this whole thing is legally binding, it doesn’t mean I have to bend over backward to act like your wife.”

Alex chuckled and hummed. “But I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

My brows furrowed instinctively at that, and I felt that anger shifting within me again. “You’re insufferable.”

“That may be true, but I’m also your husband. There’s no point in trying to deny that.”

Hearing those words from him, said so plainly as if it were the most normal thing for him, only further stoked that irritation in me. Not only did it grate against my nerves, but it was also a cold reminder of what little choice I had in the matter. How everything that happened after the gala was completely against my will—well, aside from giving in to him after the wedding, of course.

Regardless, he set me up to be nothing but his wife. Just a woman stowed away in his house, left to meander aimlessly and wait for him to get home. It wasn’t what I wanted for myself. Never did I ever think I’d wind up in that situation, forced to look back on all the times I had nothing but endless choices and complete autonomy. Even if my brothers ran a similar business, I had never been restricted like this before, and I didn’t know how to handle it.

It left me torn between those two desires again—wanting him but also wanting my life back.

Unable to handle his satisfied expression any longer, I got up from the couch, shaking my head absently as I left the room.

It took everything in me not to blow up at him again, even if I had unloaded my thoughts and feelings on him the last time we fought.

A sense of dread sat heavily in me as I left out the back door, glad the alarms were still deactivated due to him coming home. He made no move to follow, to my relief, and I continued out to the in-ground pool.

My head was a jumbled mess, unsure of what to think or feel. The constant flitting between thoughts made me feel exhausted, and for a moment, I just wanted to not think at all.

I hated how backed into a corner I felt because of the whole situation, and I especially hated how my feelings seemed to betray me.

My mind was well aware of how damaging the situation could be for me over time, and yet, that desire in my heart just wanted to accept Alex and explore what could be between us if we only tried.

As I dropped myself onto one of the lounge chairs, I tucked my knees up to my chest and let go of a deep breath. The idea of just giving in and accepting the situation seemed somewhat easier since I didn’t have much choice anyway, but the thought of giving up on myself was too painful to bear.

Regardless of my conflicting emotions, it didn’t really matter how I thought of it. Either way, Alex had the reins, and I was still trapped in his scheme.