The Bratva’s Auctioned Bride (Levov Bratva #10)

Chapter 18 - Lara

I knew what it looked like for someone to be weighed down by the pressures of the crime world, even if they refused to speak about it. It was something I constantly saw in my brothers, and I could pick up on it from a mile away.

It looked no different in Alex when he came home that night with his shoulders slightly pinched, his expression reflecting a numbness from within, and the way he moved through the house almost wordlessly.

Sitting on the couch with a magazine in my lap, I watched as he entered the room. There was the faintest flicker of relief in his expression the moment he spotted me before approaching. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss against my forehead before he dropped himself onto the cushion next to mine, head tipped back and eyes closed.

“Hi,” I said quietly, lifting a curious brow at him as I took in his clear exhaustion.

He let go of a deep breath, murmuring in return, “Hi.”

I did not doubt that everything at work was bothering him, and I couldn’t help the softening in my features at the idea.

Regardless of my associations because of my family, that world seemed so distant from my own still, and while I didn’t know much about the ins and outs, I knew enough to be aware of how draining it could be. I didn’t like the idea of him taking it all on alone due to my disconnection with everything crime related.

As used to seeing it as I was, it didn’t make it any easier, and I didn’t want Alex to get stuck in that same cycle. Ari had dealt with his fair share of stress, and I knew how that brought him down over time.

It was a necessary evil of being a family head, and knowing I wouldn’t ever be able to take that away for him made me feel worse about it.

“How was work?” I asked, moving my magazine to the side. After being alone all day, I'd started to rely on how we filled those moments of quiet with conversation.

Alex sighed and shifted, carefully lowering his head into my lap in a somewhat surprising gesture of affection that brought a sense of vulnerability over him. He closed his eyes, at least seeming somewhat relaxed as I draped an arm over him. “It was shit.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

It was a shot in the dark, and not at all surprising, but I thought I’d try anyway. I couldn’t say I never asked, at least.

Letting out a breath of my own, I leaned back a bit on the couch as we remained like that with his head in my lap. A moment of silence lingered between us before I broke the stillness to speak.

“You know, I used to not be all that close with my brothers when I was younger,” I began, gently moving my fingers through his hair.

Alex hummed in response before murmuring, “You weren’t? You guys seem like a solid unit, though.”

I nodded and grinned at the thought. “It took some time for us to get there. Honestly, a part of me feels pretty guilty for not appreciating everything sooner…but I guess that part comes with growing up.”

“What caused it?” he asked quietly, sounding interested in hearing more about me. Even if we were married, there was still a lot we both didn’t know about one another.

“As you probably gathered from meeting him once, Ari is very stubborn and bossy. Now imagine him when he was younger and still had more to learn, but apply that to all of my brothers. I’d say Kir was the tamest out of them, given how close we are in age,” I began, easily able to recall how frustrating it had been growing up with them at times. “Since I’m the only girl and the youngest, I didn’t always have it easy. Growing up with all boys was a nightmare on a good day. They were so loud and obnoxious, and they always convinced themselves that they were right about everything. It was exhausting, and most days, I couldn’t wait to leave for school or hang out with friends whenever I had the chance.”

Alex chuckled at the idea. “I guess I never considered what that would be like since I have only brothers. You must’ve been at your wits' end most days.”

I let go of a huffed breath. “I was. Some days I just wished more than anything that I could have a long-lost sister I didn’t know about or something. I leaned on my cousin Anastasia a lot, but when their immediate family left for America while we stayed behind, I didn’t get to see her as much. Still, it was nice to have her.”

He sat in a moment of silence before murmuring again, visibly appearing to appreciate the absent stroking of my fingers through his hair, “What made you come around to your brothers eventually?”

“Well, it started when they actually pulled through and realized they were the only ones who could tease their younger sister without repercussions, and they’d show everyone else why they should leave me alone,” I explained with an amused grin. “Eventually, I think we all realized how important it was for us to stay together, and to appreciate all of the sacrifices that were made to keep us under the same roof. Ari had done so much for us, and in a way, we all managed to get clued in and show him our appreciation by taking it easier on him.”

Alex looked more contemplative as he listened, nodding carefully. “I know that well…the sacrifices. It’s hard, even on the better days. I’m sure Ari was grateful for that appreciation.”

“Things got easier as we got older, and while it still weighs on him to this day, he knows how much we all care for him. For each other. Without him, my family wouldn’t have survived. At least, not our branch.”

“You came from Russia directly, yeah?”

I nodded and hummed. “We did. We spent much longer there than anyone else in our family. While my cousins Andrei and Yaro moved their groups to America, we stayed back to hold down the family business. Of course, I didn’t have anything to do with it, but it felt like we were missing something without our cousins there. When he felt our time in Russia had run its course, Ari decided we should make the same move. We’ve been here ever since.”

Alex considered my word for a moment, eyes still closed with a faint grin. “Having a foreign woman for a wife has some appeal to it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh quietly at that, still gently stroking his hair. “From a technical standpoint, aren’t you a foreigner, too?”

He shrugged. “If that’s what you consider an immigrant from a sister country. My move was considerably shorter than yours.”

Smiling faintly, my curiosity got the better of me. “You and your brothers all have very Russian names, but you have virtually no accent. Why’s that?”

“My family originated in Russia, but my brothers and I were born and raised in Victoria, British Columbia. Our parents chose mostly traditional names even though we had very little influence from our background.”

Since Ari had been my parental figure growing up, I didn’t know what it was like to experience the typical love and warmth from both a mother and father. Because of that, it often made me wonder what other people’s experiences were like.

“Your parents…were they around?”

Alex let go of a breath and shook his head. “No, not really. You could say they were in and out when it was convenient for them, or when Mom was pregnant again. They were both users.”

“Oh,” I said instinctively, surprised and empathetic. “I’m sorry you had to experience that.”

He sighed, still in my lap. “There’s no need to apologize. It certainly made things harder for us. Since I was a bit older than the others, I knew how to take care of them well enough and did as often as I needed to whenever the pair of them would bugger off for a while. It was just me taking care of them as they were each born. Things got worse when the twins came and the government realized I wasn’t enrolled in school when I should’ve been. Because of it, we were all taken away at one point.”

My brows furrowed together at that, struggling to understand how that possibly would’ve felt for him to go through. “How did you manage to stay together despite that?”

“It was difficult and took a lot of work on my end. At first, we were fostered together, before it became too much and they decided to split us up. Some of us went to foster families, while others went to care homes. Fortunately, the twins were sent to the same place, and so were Damien and Daniil due to them being a similar age. Since I was older, I went to a home for teens until I was old enough to go off on my own. I was able to keep tabs on where my brothers were, and after getting into the business and making money however I could, I built a life for them to come back to,” Alex explained, expression both somewhat troubled and wistful as he recalled it all. “It took a while and a lot of convincing, but they were all eventually handed over to me. Every day since then, I never stopped working my ass off to keep them with me. To make sure they were never taken away again.”

Emotion from listening to his story pulsed in my chest, and while I was grateful that I could say I never had to experience the same thing, a sense of guilt accompanied that thought. I let go of a gentle breath. “I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like…it sounds like you grew up far too fast. You never really got to be a kid.”

“No, I didn’t. But I guess in a way, my upbringing helped prepare me for not only stepping up to help my siblings but also for the path I’m currently on. I always knew the real world could be cruel and harsh, which is why I’m able to stomach the unappealing aspects of this business so well.”

After a moment of silence, as I tried to digest all the information he gave me, I let my curiosity get the best of me and continued to pry. “And your parents…did you ever see them again?”

Alex cleared his throat. “Apparently, when we were taken away, they tried to appeal it and wanted to get us back, but they were too far gone. Their case was too weak, and they were deemed unfit. I never saw them again after that, and I can only imagine they only fell further into addiction since we weren’t in the equation anymore.”

“That’s awful,” I murmured, unsure of what else to say. It was a grisly part of his life, and there was no way for me to completely understand what that was like for him. “You certainly have me beat in the rough upbringing department.”

Despite the serious topic, Alex snickered at that. “I suppose I do. That’s not to discredit your experience, of course.”

I nodded, aware that we both had our fair share of unsavory moments to shoulder from our time growing up. “I guess it does help to put things into perspective, at least. Looking back on where we both came from.”

“I suppose we aren’t all that different, after all.”

Even if the conversation wasn’t the lightest, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of connection with him, like we learned a piece of each other’s identity by sharing our childhood experiences. I smiled faintly at the idea. “I suppose so.”

While Alex never shared what had been bothering him when he came home from work, it seemed he had long forgotten it anyway, and his shoulders were lighter than they had been.

We sat in that gentle peace between us for a time while I gently carded my fingers through his hair, allowing my nails to scratch against his scalp occasionally. I didn’t miss the gentle smile that formed on his lips as I did so, and the scene was enough to make my heart squeeze with affection.

After a moment, Alex opened his eyes again and peered up at me. “I almost forgot…the chef is out sick, so we’ll have to take care of dinner tonight. Instead of ordering in, we could make something together, if you want.”

It had been a while since I cooked much of anything, but the suggestion alone was enough to make me grin and look forward to it immediately.

“I’d like that.”